Brody (24 page)

I acknowledged what she said with a nod, though, I had no intention of taking her up on the offer. We really just needed the few days, some time away. I went to go inside, but she touched my arm, sliding it down to my wrist and squeezing.

“She’s real pretty, Brody,” she said, surprising me, and then she smiled a little, but I noticed it was also sad.

“If she’s your reason,” she went on. “Your reason for being gone? That’s okay,” she said. “Just know that’s okay.”

She was the one to leave me standing there then and the cowardice shook me to my very bones.

Because I let her walk away thinking just that.

Chapter Twenty-Four

Alexa

Something violent, sharp, hit me from my front and I thrashed, cowering. Holding myself tight, I formed a little ball. By being small, I hoped to be able to evade it, but no, that only made it worse. Me attempting to protect myself only made him come for me faster.

He ripped at my arms, hitting me with a grimace on his lips, and I’d never forget it. That’s what made the bile first rise.

He hit again, catching my cheek this time.

“No!” I cried. I cried so hard. “No, leave me alone.”

“Alex!”

I twisted. I turned.

“Aunt Alex!”

My eyes shot open, darkness of the night surrounding me in the wide bed. Beside me, my nephew bended and bowed wildly, calling both my name and his mama’s, and she was there, too, Elena. Her eyes wide at me, she swallowed. She swallowed so hard with her hand hovering over my arm. Had she been the one to wake me up?

Aiden corkscrewed again and I let my thoughts hang where they were. I went to wake him up from his nightmare, but a hand came down on me. I think it had been the same one to bring me out of my own nightmare.

“I got it,” Elena snipped, shaking him.

Her son gasped out of his sleep, still calling my name, still calling Elena’s. He got a visual on both of us, though, and he calmed down, and though I wanted to hold him, Elena got to him first. She brought her to him, letting him cry on her while she whispered soothing words.

“Joe? Where’s Joe?” he called, crying into her neck.

My head still spinning, I patted the bed in the dark room. I found the action figure on the end, but again Elena was there. She stole it from under my outstretched hand and fell back, tucking it underneath Aiden’s arm.

I could do nothing but let her.

Lying back, I did what I could from my side. I rubbed my nephew’s back, comforting close, and I didn’t relax until he finally calmed down from his dream. His mama helped him there, yes, but something told me if I hadn’t been so adamant she wouldn’t have bothered.

She only seemed to care when I did.

*

With the dream, I never thought I’d be able to make it back into slumber. I would be too lost in my head and stuck in the madness of it. But something happened throughout the night and something changed as I felt the morning sun cast its glow on my cheek in the early morning. I awoke to a calm heart, as well as the smell of warm biscuits weaving their way through my lungs.

I gripped the blanket around me, pulling it close, and when I rose up, lying back against the headboard, I saw Brody through a window.

Raising an ax, he drove it clear through a small stump of wood, but after he did, he rested for a moment. He rested, putting his foot up on the broken pieces, and his long fingers wiped at his brow. That rest didn’t sit well with me, nor what he was doing, at all. He was pushing himself, pushing himself unnecessarily for some reason.

Stepping down from the stump, he raised that ax again and I willed him not to. I begged. I pleaded even from so far away. Opening my mouth, I almost called to him, but like he knew, he stopped.

He stopped.

His eyes lifted then. They lifted my way, and when they did, he lowered that ax entirely.

I shook my head at him, as if saying don’t do this, and he didn’t. He listened. The ax he rested against the fence outside and the lumber he cut, the two small pieces, he picked up and headed back toward the house with them.

I could breathe again.

“Aunt Alex?”

My nephew lay under the blankets, shrugging out of them. He sat up and I brought my arms around him, hugging him good morning. He smiled then, making my heart warm.

“You sleep okay?” I asked him, and he nodded, yawning.

His mouth closed, looking sleepy, but also awake in that just woke up daze. He placed his hands in his lap. “Is that bacon, you think?” he asked. He whispered the words like the very sound of them would make the smell fade. I smelled it, too.

I rubbed his arm. “I think so. You hungry?”

He seemed unsure how to respond to that, but that was Aiden, though. He never asked for anything. He always just took what he was given. I was sure because of years of so many limited options. He held his doll, Joe, wrapping his arms around him.

I tilted my head. “It’s okay if you are. Hungry?”

That got a nod then and I ran my fingers over his braids.

“Do you wanna go check it out?” I asked. I prodded knowing he’d need it.

He looked at his mama still sleeping. Sometime during the night, Elena had turned on her belly, her arm over the side of the bed. He looked at me. “You think that would be okay?” Maybe it was my fault that he felt he had to ask. We’d taken dinner up here last night and I hadn’t fought Brody’s grandma when she knocked on our door and offered that option instead of us coming down.

I tapped his leg. “Come on. We’ll go down and see what that bacon’s about.”

He smiled a little, but frowned a little too in Elena’s direction. I told him I’d wake her while he got washed up. This room even had a connected bathroom. We investigated last night.

He slid off the bed, taking Joe with him and gazed down at my sister. It took a bit of confidence to reach over and wake her up, especially after last night, but I tried to when I touched her arm. That touch turned into a shake though, and that one-hand shake turned into two.

“Elena,” I said to her. “Elena, wake up.”

A noise left her mouth. She turned on her back and her hand flew in the air as if to slap me away. But something told me she had no idea she’d even tried to do that. Her hand landed on the pillow and when it did, the ring she wore opened. Something white fell out of it, powder, and I knew exactly what it was.

I didn’t even think when I grabbed her hand, sliding the ring off. She didn’t even move. I went immediately to the window and poured all the power out into the air, fire in my cheeks. Sometime in the night she’d managed to get high and she did it despite the fact her son needed her all night.

Why did she keep doing this to herself? To Aiden?

To me?

Once I knew the ring was clear, I returned it to its owner, not even bothering to be gentle. She’d be out all day. I’d seen this too many times before. What I did do was leave the ring open with her arm in a random angle on the bed. She’d think she spilled it all by herself that way. She had a healthy amount of residue on her pillow, but I wouldn’t put it past her to believe she snorted it all last night. She’d done worse.

Aiden came out of the bathroom moments later and when he asked about his mom, I had to do something I hated. I had to lie to him.

*

Brody

I didn’t want her to see me that way, but knew it was a possibility when Gram asked me to go get firewood this morning. She always asked me to do it. She always asked me because that had always been my chore even from the time when I’d been a kid. I had always been the biggest, the strongest.

How times had changed.

Today, had been a bad day and, though, I knew I had those sometimes, they had been few and far between. My medications made sure of that. So when I woke up this morning, feeling all kinds of spent, I understood immediately that it was stress.

I placed the firewood into the hearth, one by one, the method allowing me to use the least bit of effort. The fireplace going was a given since Gram had guests. She liked it crackling in the morning for when people woke up and I didn’t fight her. I loved the smell. That combined with her home cooking, I couldn’t help be drawn into it. Skillet hash browns, sawmill gravy, and buttermilk biscuits surrounded me. They surrounded me with home.

Stress, so much stress. Calm down.

Forcing the thoughts, I went into the kitchen and the sight of a girl and her nephew took me by surprise. They hadn’t been in there only moments prior when I walked from the back porch with the firewood, but now they sat eating those biscuits and gravy, and the girl? She was damn beautiful.

I wanted to wrap my arms around Alex immediately. It had been too long. Too much time had passed since… I touched her.

I chose the opposite seat across from her though, the one near the stove and near my gram. Gram turned around as I made my way, hugging me and thanking me for the firewood. I kissed her cheek before sitting down and telling the folks across from me, “Mornin.’”

They both said “good morning,” though, shy about it. Especially, Alex. I’d say that had been her nature, but she hadn’t been that way in so long with me.

“Did y’all, uh,” I asked her picking up the coffee press pot. “Did you both sleep okay?” I offered her coffee first, but she waved her hand allowing me to go for my own.

“Yeah, it was great,” she said. She turned to my gram. “And thanks so much for letting us stay for a little while. We really appreciate it.”

Gram’s hands stopped over her skillet. Tilting her head, she picked it up and came over. “Of course, darlin.’ Of course,” she said, scooping some eggs onto Aiden’s plate. She smiled at him. “It’s not a problem.”

Alex lowered, placing her hand on her nephew’s head. “Tell her thank you.”

“Thank you,” he whispered, but something told me he had a voice in him. He just wasn’t ready to use it quite yet. His arms moved around his toy and I couldn’t help smiling. He really didn’t go anywhere without him.

I sat the pot down after pouring a full cup, noting an absence from the party. “Your sister okay?” I asked, and Alex’s eyes flashed like she just became aware.

She went small. “Uh, huh. She’s just feeling a little under the weather.”

“Oh, no.” Gram lowered her skillet. “I’ll bring her up some tea and something light. That’ll help.”

Alex’s hands shot up in front of herself. “No need. I think she just needs to sleep. Sleep it off. I plan to check on her later.”

Those brown eyes averted after that, from me, from everyone, and something told me it wasn’t so simple.

I breathed, trying not to let that bother me. I wanted to know more, but the fact of the matter was Alex had shut me out again. She shut me out and I didn’t know how to deal with that. I didn’t know how
not
to help her, care about her. Gram came around with the bacon and when she got to Aiden’s plate, Alex said just a piece or two before taking some herself.

“He’s diabetic,” she said, and when Gram came over to my plate, Alex watched me. She watched me not decline. I took several pieces and hoped she wouldn’t call attention to that. She didn’t. Though, she did frown.

“Brody, darlin’?” my gram said, placing that bacon plate in the middle for all. “Do you think while you’re here you can help me with something?”

“Sure,” I told her. “What do you need?” We both knew she didn’t have to ask, but that was Gram’s way.

She held the back of an empty chair. “Some feed came in yesterday. It’s in the shed and needs to be taken to the barn. I’d normally have one of the hands get it…”

“Not a problem,” I told her, not thinking much over it.

Gram smiled. “It’ll need to go in the barn for the milking cow. It’s only a few fifty pound bags. You’ll get it done in no time.”

Now that did get Alex stirring a little, especially when I told Gram once again no problem. That’s because it wasn’t a problem. I didn’t do work like this all the time so it wasn’t a big deal, but Alex? She didn’t let it go that easily. In fact, she sat forward and my heart raced as my first fear came before me. She didn’t know my gram was in the dark about my heart condition.

She didn’t know she was the only one I told.

“Brody, I think you shouldn’t,” she started, but her mouth shut when I said something once again.

“No big deal, Gram,” I told her, and turned my head after that. I had to. That look that washed over Alex’s face, her clearly being dismissed, I couldn’t face. It hurt me. My saving grace came in the form of her nephew, taking the conversation in a different direction.

“You guys have cows?” he asked, sitting up. “Real cows?”

Gram put her hand on the back of his chair. “We do, darlin’, as well as chickens and a few goats.”

“And don’t forget the horses, Gram,” I finished for her with a smile.

That sent Aiden in a legitimate frenzy. He wasn’t shy about turning to Alex and asking if he could see them. He wanted to see everything and Gram suggested he come out when I did to move the feed. We could venture around her land and then end there. Aiden begged again, needing his aunt’s approval first, but she turned to me, making eye contact like she needed mine.

“We’ll go out after breakfast,” I told her, and hoped what happened at the table stayed there.

Chapter Twenty-Five

Alexa

He was more upset with me than I thought; mad. A chill came from Brody
I never felt before, and now, it seemed like he wasn’t even taking care of himself. I feared a connection, a connection to me and his health, but I couldn’t even ask him about it. He blocked me out. He drew away from me.

Kinda like I’d done to him.

Holding Aiden’s hand, I was forced to ignore what happened at the table and Brody made that easy. He didn’t address any of that. He just focused on taking me and my nephew around the ranch and that’s when some of the tension abated. His attention went to the land and this beautiful place of wide hills and rocky peaks he called home. And he was at home here. He was
comfortable
among family. He showed us around with his grandma and didn’t go far from her side. When he wasn’t with her, he was with Aiden. He showed him everything, pointing out all the animals and even the plants, giving their backgrounds. Like our own little nature guide in this arid land of hills and valley. It was so different from anywhere I’d been and I had travelled all over the country, a wanderer. But Brody, he wasn’t a wanderer. This was his place. He belonged here and I got that more and more as we walked.