Brody (21 page)

“We need to water the horses, then get going again.” He led her to the edge of the creek as though she was a child. “Let me check it to make sure it’s okay to drink.”

There was grass growing around the edge and what appeared to be animal tracks on the opposite bank. All good signs, but he learned down to test it himself before he let his horse drink. He knelt with Olivia standing beside him. They were in luck—the water was cool and clear, perhaps fed from a high stream somewhere.

“Drink, Olivia.”

To his surprise, she did as he told her without arguing or griping about how he ordered her around. This was not good at all. He had to snap her out of the trance she seemed to be in.

While she drank, Brody brought the anxious horses to the creek. He took in their surroundings, and watched the horizon for any movement. The air was still and fortunately there was no sign of anyone on their trail.

Ten minutes passed while the horses rested and Olivia sat on her haunches at the creek. He wondered if she was remembering the last arroyo and if she was still there. Damned if he had any idea how to ask or how to talk her out of the place she was hiding in.

He wondered if he ever would.

“Are you ready to ride?”

Quiet as the air around her, Olivia rose and took hold of Mariposa’s reins. Her silence was spooky. She kept her eyes somewhere behind him, never meeting his gaze.

“We’re going to have to ride hard again. I want to try to ride through the day and into the night if we can.”

She walked the mare out until she could get in the saddle, then waited for him. Before he’d met Olivia, Brody had thought he might have wanted a quiet woman who would be his mate. That was almost a joke now that he’d met and fallen in love with the storm named Olivia.

Now she’d been reduced to a whisper of a breeze.

The sun sank behind them as they made their way north and west toward Texas. Brody was surprised to see no one following them. He’d truly expected Rodrigo to come after them, if only for his pride. Yet there was nothing.

Brody didn’t relax his guard a bit though. He wouldn’t be surprised at any sort of retaliation or revenge from a man who was driven like Rodrigo was. He’d never met a man who was as smart, clever or downright conniving. If they’d been on the same side of the border, they might have been friends. He would grudgingly admit to himself that he respected Rodrigo. The man was a force to be reckoned with.

One who had threatened his woman.

Olivia was quiet for the journey, always looking ahead and never at him. Brody hadn’t realized just how much she colored the world around him until she had no color to give. He’d complained about her chatter, her enthusiasm and her stubbornness, but he’d do just about anything to get it all back.

“We’ll stop once we cross the Rio Grande. Maybe by then you’ll find your tongue again.” Brody could have been talking to a rock for as much response as he got.

He didn’t know who he was angrier at, Olivia or himself. Since their journey began, they had spent every waking and sleeping moment with each other, had the most amazing sex of his life and now here they were, together yet completely apart.

His brothers had died on the battlefield, alone and without family around them. His parents had died when he was a small boy, without family around them. Now he was alone in the world except for the brash, beautiful woman beside him. Was he dumb enough to throw their future away? To let her stay in her cave? If he did, then odds were Brody would die alone without family too.

“That’s it. I’m done with this foolishness.” Brody grabbed her reins and his and kicked his horse into a gallop. Mariposa had no choice but to follow at the same speed.

Olivia hung on, her hair flying behind her, shirt still open to her breasts, face darkened by the clay and from the sun beating down on her today. Those blue-green eyes stood out like jewels in a beautiful statue. His heart clenched at the sight of her. She was incredible and, dammit, he wasn’t going to let her go without a fight.

They raced across the last few miles to the river, full dark closing in around them. He jumped off his gelding and then yanked her down off Mariposa.

“We’re crossing the river.” He took her hand and the horses’ reins, then led them across the shallow water.

When they reached the other side, he let the horses drink from the river while he found a place to stop for the night. In a cluster of bushes ten feet from the bank he set Olivia down on a rock.

“Stay here.”

She again did as she was told.

“You know you’re driving me completely loco.” He gritted his teeth in frustration as he walked back to retrieve the horses.

After securing them to a mesquite tree near the campsite, he unsaddled both of them and rubbed them down. They had been sturdy mounts, loyal to their masters, even when pushed to the limits of endurance. The sweet grass nearby would be enough for the animals to fill their bellies.

Now it was time to deal with Olivia.

Olivia let the white noise surround her, cocoon her, feeling safe in a bubble of nothing. She couldn’t let herself step out of the bubble or something bad would happen. There was pain out there and she wanted no part of it.

She knew Brody was taking care of her, guiding her horse, making her drink and talking to her. Through the bubble, she couldn’t hear him and she couldn’t respond to him. It was safe in there, so safe. Nothing could hurt her.

Brody picked her up and walked back toward the river. In the dark, the water looked almost menacing. She hung onto his neck, content in her bubble.

When he threw her in the water, the river grabbed her, pulling her under, filling her mouth, her nose, her ears. Olivia could have simply floated away on her bubble, free from pain and the ugliness in the world. She could have escaped for good.

“Dammit, Olivia, don’t you dare give up on me.”

Brody’s shout popped the bubble as though he’d slapped her. She scrambled for purchase, even as the weight of her wet clothes and the water’s current dragged her down. She sucked in a lungful of water and stars exploded behind her eyes. She was drowning.

As blackness crept in around her vision, she finally got her feet under her and tried to rise, only to fall down again. Brody’s hand found hers and she hung on, pulling herself up using the tether he offered. When her head broke the surface, she tried to pull in air, only to be blocked by the water already in her lungs.

She gasped and stared into his scowling face. He appeared to understand what was happening because he started slapping her back. Water gushed out of her mouth as she coughed up the river from within her. After she got a breath in, she retched up more water from her stomach. Brody held her hand as she stood there shaking in the dark.

“You tried to drown me.”

“Nope, if I had wanted that I would have let you float away. Hell, I could’ve shot you in the head and left you twenty miles back.” He snorted. “I saved you from a hell of your own making.”

She walked toward the bank. “I didn’t make a hell. I was just, um, healing.”

“You were hiding.”

Olivia shivered as the night air hit her full force. She walked toward the horses, determined not to talk to him any longer. He had done something dangerous and she had almost paid the price with her life.

“You almost killed me.”

He grabbed her shoulders and turned her so she faced him. Moonlight lit his blue eyes, making them glow. “I had to do something to wake you up. Truth is, you scared me.”

She stared, momentarily silenced by his confession. If anyone had asked her whether the tough ranger was ever scared, she would’ve said no, never. He was unbendable, unbreakable steel, never blinking in the face of danger or mortal peril. The man was a rock, one she had clung to several times.

Now he told her she’d scared him. Scared him.
Him!
Her mind tried to take in that bit of information but found it was difficult to do. She’d hoped he had feelings for her since she was stupidly in love with him. Did this mean he did feel something? Being scared for her meant he cared about her. Didn’t it?

“Why?” she blurted out.

“Why what?” He snagged a blanket from the saddle sitting on a rock and wrapped it around her.

The wool provided welcome warmth. She snuggled into it as she tried to decide whether she should ask him what she really wanted to know.

Do you love me? Because I love you.

“Why did I scare you?” She wasn’t as brave as she wanted to be, that was for certain. This was the moment to open up her heart again, but she didn’t.

He picked up kindling around the base of the trees and bushes, ignoring her question. She waited before she repeated it, not willing to move too far out onto that limb she was perched on. Brody knelt by the rocks and set the kindling down.

While he built a fire, the moments passed by slower than molasses. She stood there dripping and wondering if she should tell him how she felt. What was the worst that could happen? He could laugh, in which case she’d punch him. But he could also tell her he loved her back.

The prospect made her heart clench.

She opened her mouth to speak. “Brody, I—”

“I saw lots of men acting like you were during the war. Staring at nothing, not talking, not there. Most of those men ate a bullet while no one was looking.” He snapped the sticks into smaller ones, the sound making her start. “I knew your brother would tan my hide if I brought you home like that.”

Her mouth stayed open from shock while her heart screeched in pain. He’d been worried about what her brother would do? That was his big area of concern. Her brother?

“You’re an ass.” She walked away, deliberately not stomping her feet as he probably thought she would, and found a nice tree to sit under. Her wet clothes reminded her of the last time she’d been in the Rio Grande, and the chafing that followed. She would be better off removing her clothes now and letting them dry before morning. It would give her the chance to keep away from Brody for a while so she didn’t punch him.

She set the blanket on the ground and started wrestling with her buttons to get them undone. Her temper rose and before she realized what she was about to do, she’d yanked hard enough to pop three of the buttons.

“Shit!”

“Did you need some help?” Damn the man for sounding amused.

“No, I don’t need help. Especially your help. After all, we wouldn’t want Matt to think you’d touched me, now would we?”

“What the hell are you talking about?” He reached for her, but she moved out of his way.

“You are not allowed to touch me right now. I’m liable to kick you in the balls.” Her chest heaved with the deep breaths she sucked in. Perhaps if she’d been a woman more in control of her emotions, she could be a lady. Well, she wasn’t and likely never would be.

He held his hands up and stepped back. “I almost want you quiet again so you won’t cut me to pieces with that tongue of yours.”

“Oh, you are one to talk.” She took off her blouse and threw it at him. The wet splat gave her a measure of satisfaction. “You just told me you saved me so my brother wouldn’t be angry. As though I was an order of wood left out in the rain.”

Hurt crept into her tone, much as she didn’t want it to. She turned her back on the man who had tied her in knots, then thrown her to the side. His retreating footsteps told her that her message had been received.

With clumsy fingers, she managed to get her riding skirt and boots off. She stood there, wet and naked, warming herself with the tears running down her cheeks.

Damn the man, he had reduced her to the one thing she hated: a crying woman.

She took another fifteen minutes to dry her face and let the night hide her swollen eyes. By the time she returned to Brody, he had built the fire and started a pot of coffee.

“You done yelling at me?” Brody didn’t even glance up from the flames.

“You done being a jackass?” Her back went up as quickly as the words left his mouth.

Neither one answered the question, which didn’t surprise her. The rest of the night passed in near silence. Brody stood guard, watching the horizon and feeding the tiny fire. He didn’t take off his wet things but chose to wear them as they dried. She didn’t care one way or the other. If he wanted chafed manly parts, that was his problem, not hers.

She sipped at the coffee in her hands, glad of the warmth, although she wasn’t going to tell him thank you. After hanging her clothing on a bush nearby, she had donned the other clothes in her saddlebags. They were wrinkly and not even remotely clean, but they were dry.

The next several days would be difficult beyond measure. Riding with Brody, knowing how he felt, would be like a small knife pressing into her heart, mile after mile. There would be no touching, holding or pleasuring.

It would be a journey of shame, of heartache and sorrow. Not only hadn’t she found Benjy, but she’d lost her heart and her hope.

The sight of the Graham ranch should have brought Brody relief. However, it had the opposite effect. His stomach curled into a ball, right next to the blackened remnants of his heart.

His adventure with Olivia was over.

The last few days had been downright torture. She barely spoke to him, rarely looked at him and sure as hell didn’t touch him. When she made up her mind about something, she did not change it.

Like a piece of granite, unable to do anything but be one shade.

The sun had darkened her skin after the mud staining had faded. Now freckles and a light tan made her look so healthy, so alive. If only her eyes were as alive as the rest of her. In the blue-green depths he saw dark emotions, pain and anger, disappointment and confusion. He recognized them as the same stupid emotions swimming around in his own heart. They had made a royal mess of everything and had no one to blame but themselves.

They were out of time and neither one of them was likely to fix anything now. His chest tightened as he watched her expression change from bleak to relieved at the sight of the ranch house.

“Home.” It was the first word she’d spoken in eight hours. Perhaps the last he would hear from her.