Broken (14 page)

“If you don’t mind my asking, why not? You said yourself what happened was the result of his family’s interference. Why not give Max another chance?” Erika said curiously.

Cassidy’s free hand tightened into a fist and she brought it up to rub her aching heart. “Because he left me. I don’t know if I can forgive him for that. If he did it once, what’s to stop him from doing it again?”

“Did you ask him why?”

“He said the thought of me being with Phillip was slowly driving him crazy. He had to leave before he did something stupid,” Cassidy said, still not sure what to think of his confession.

“I told you your plan was asinine,” Erika muttered.

“What?” she exclaimed, shocked.

“Cassidy, get real. What man who isn’t a wuss would put up with his woman going off with another man?” Erika said brusquely.

“It wasn’t like that and you know it,” Cassidy defended herself.

“I told you then I thought your plan was stupid. You didn’t take Max’s feeling into consideration at all. You should have just done as he asked and let him hire a battalion of lawyers who’d legally stomp Phillip’s ass into the ground. Maybe if you had, Max’s family wouldn’t have had the opportunity to come between you two.”

“Maybe if I had, Phillip wouldn’t be dead,” Cassidy said woodenly.

“Don’t you dare put words in my mouth. That’s not what I said and you know it. What happened to you and Phillip was an
accident
,” Erika stressed before taking a deep breath in an audible effort to calm down. “Look, all I’m saying is before you get all sanctimonious and unforgiving with Max, consider the possibility he might have a few reasons to be angry with you too. If he can forgive and forget, why can’t you?”

Erika paused to let her words sink in. “I’ve got to go now. If I hurry, I may still have time to grab a bite to eat. Think about what I said. We’ll talk later. Keep me informed.”

“I will,” Cassidy promised, feeling numb.

Erika hadn’t said anything Cassidy hadn’t thought dozens of times over the last year. It was easier to be angry with Max and blame him for deserting her than accept the fact that none of this—the accident, Phillip’s death, her injuries—might have happened if she’d simply chosen a different course of action. Phillip would still be alive. She’d have the unrestricted use of both legs like she used to, and Max would have been there when Zoe was born.

However, as her therapist Dr. Gilchrist liked to say, “Hindsight is always twenty-twenty, Cassidy. The only being who can see the future is God. Only He is infallible. Us mere mortals have to struggle along, doing the best we can, making decisions based on the information at hand.”

Two years ago Cassidy had been angry, scared, confused, and in an emotional pressure cooker. Her hormones had been in an uproar due to her pregnancy. She’d been falling in love with Max while feeling guilty over the circumstances of their relationship. Phillip had been making threats and applying pressure, and they’d all believed him to be Zoe’s father.

Every time she thought she had a handle on things, the rug had been pulled out from under her. Cassidy had been ready for the roller coaster that was her life to level out. Max had been her rock, the stabilizing force in her life. But when the judge had dismissed her divorce case, sentencing her to two more years of marriage with Phillip, even Max hadn’t been able to calm her down.

Looking back, Cassidy could agree she’d gone a little crazy. What she’d wanted, needed, was to feel like she was in control of her life. So what she’d done was to come up with a plan to regain it, and in doing so, she’d lost Max. That had definitely not been a part of the plan.

 She remembered that long ago conversation with Erika.

“
The judge threw out my case.”

“I know, honey. Max told me. I’m so sorry,” Erika said, oozing sympathy. “He said you went to see Phillip?”

“I thought, inanely it seems, that I could somehow reason with him. Phillip wouldn’t budge. He’s adamant he won’t agree to a divorce unless I first go to marriage counseling with him. He offered me a deal. Spend the next two years in counseling with him, and if it doesn’t work, then he’ll sign off on the divorce and won’t fight me for custody of the baby. In fact, he’ll agree to any term I name.”

“I hope like hell you told him to go fuck himself,” Erika said viciously. “After
threatening you and hounding you, he expects you to simply agree to his terms?”

“No, I told him I needed time to think, and I left,” she said calmly.

“Are you crazy?”

“No, listen,” she ordered when Erika kept muttering about pregnancy and brain damage. “The night I disappeared? I went to Nell’s house—you know, Phillip’s mom? After talking with her I realized Phillip would never give in. He sincerely believes he can change my mind if he waits long enough. The only way to make him see the truth is to prove it to him.” She told Erika her plan.

“And Max agreed to this?” Erika said incredulously.

“He doesn’t like it, but he understands.”

“Well I don’t, and I think you’re making a huge mistake. Phillip’s a master manipulator. What if Phillip manages to con you again and your plan doesn’t work?”

“It will,” Cassidy said, confident in her ability to best her husband at his game.

“But what if it doesn’t?” Erika insisted. “Are you really willing to risk losing Max to prove a point to Phillip? I know I urged you to use caution and slow down with Max. I’m concerned about how fast things seem to be moving between you two, but I didn’t mean for you to do this.”

Cassidy inhaled a deep shuddering breath. “Of course I don’t want to lose Max, but do you really think I’ll be happy if I keep Max but lose my child?”

“Cassidy, you know Max won’t let that happen,” Erika said gently. “Chris is a good lawyer, but she’s still new. With Max’s resources, you could hire the best divorce attorney in Philly. Hell, you can hire a whole team of lawyers. Don’t tell me he didn’t offer.”

“He did, but this isn’t Max’s fight,” she told her friend quietly but firmly. “If this baby were his? Maybe it would be our fight, but it’s not. Erika, I want to be free. I want to feel like I’m controlling my life instead of simply reacting to it. Finally, I believe I can.”

“Even if by doing so you lose Max in the process?” Erika asked just as softly.

“Yes, even if.”

Such brave, bold words she’d spoken. If she could have seen the future, would she have made a different choice? Possibly, but she wasn’t psychic. She’d decided the best she could with the information she had at the time and wondering what if would land her in therapy—again.

Could she forgive Max? Cassidy didn’t know. She’d had two years to nurse her grudge and bury her hurt. Uprooting it wouldn’t happen over night. She’d opened the door to him, and allowed him access to his daughter. For now it would have to be enough.

She glanced at Zoe who was once more sleepily rubbing her eyes. She’d played with more of the food than she’d eaten. Cassidy scooped her up and took her to the sink to clean her hands and face. “Come on, baby girl. Your daddy will be here in a few hours. Let’s go see what the guest room looks like and put sheets on the bed. Make sure all of Grandma Nell’s stuff is out the way. Then what’s say we both take a nap?”

“Nap,” Zoe echoed.

Cassidy headed down the hall, Zoe toddling sleepily beside her. When she and Zoe finished making up the bed, she heated up some sweet oil and dropped it in both of Zoe’s ears. She could see Zoe relax as the soothing warmth eased the pain.

Cassidy and Zoe settled in the rocker recliner with a book and a blanket. She rocked and read to Zoe until she felt the little girl grow heavy with sleep. Setting the book to one side, she opened the leg rest and pushed the chair to a recline position, and together they both napped the afternoon away.

Max parked in Nicco’s guest parking slot, and cursed when he saw Nicco’s truck in its space. His brother was home. Briefly he debated leaving and returning later. Cassidy had instructed him not to get into any more fights, and since he wanted to stay in her good graces, he planned to comply. Unfortunately, the physical violence of last night hadn’t done nearly enough to tamp down the rage he still felt whenever he thought of Nicco. However, he hadn’t actually promised Cassidy he wouldn’t, and if Nicco started something—
please God, let him start something
—well, what kind of man would he be if he didn’t defend himself?

He climbed out of his vehicle and stood tossing his keys up and catching them a few times while he debated. Finally, with a mental shrug, Max pressed the fob to lock his vehicle, slid the keys in his pocket, and jogged up the five flights of stairs to Nicco’s floor. Breathing slightly elevated, he stopped in front of his brother’s condo and leaned on the doorbell.

Nicco took so long, Max had his hand raised to ring it again when it cracked open. “What do you want?” Nicco asked balefully.

“To get the rest of my stuff and give you your key back,” Max said calmly.

Nicco hesitated long enough to let Max know his presence wasn’t wanted, and then widened the opening so Max could enter.

Max walked past his brother without another word and headed for the guestroom. His stuff was just as he’d left it, neatly packed and sitting on the bed, waiting for retrieval. There wasn’t much—a few knickknacks from his travels, pictures he hadn’t placed in storage, an alarm clock, television, radio. Things of that nature. Mentally, he guesstimated he could manage it in two trips. He’d taken his clothes, the majority of his shoes, and all his toiletries last night.

 He looked up as he sensed his brother’s presence in the doorway. “I didn’t know the child was yours,” Nicco said in a low, nasally voice.

Max turned, picked up the television, and made sure the cord was wrapped around the base and wouldn’t dangle as he toted it. Whether or not Nicco knew about Zoe wasn’t the issue here, and his brother knew it. He began stacking things in preparation for carrying it.

“Damn it, Max! I was wrong, okay? I shouldn’t have interfered. If you’d have done to me what I did to you, I’d have kicked your ass.”