Broken (5 page)

I looked one last time at the box holding my
clothes, and then sighed and shoved it under the bed. My unpacking
was all done, which meant I had to go back to my homework. At least
now I could listen to my music while I studied.

Fifteen minutes later I was safely ensconced
in my room listening to the London Cast version of Les Misérables
as I tried to work through my backlog of Algebra assignments. When
I finally surfaced from orders of operation as the sun started
setting, I was pleasantly surprised things had gone so well. As
masochistic as it sounded, I actually enjoyed settling down with a
set of academic problems, and working my way through them.
Sometimes it almost seemed like I entered a Zen-like state where
everything else in the world just dropped away. It was nice to know
the accident hadn't changed that at least.

My heart stuttered a little, but I wrenched
my thoughts away from where they'd been headed, distracting myself
by wondering where mom was. She'd been a little flighty before, but
now it wasn't uncommon for her to be gone for twenty-four hours at
a stretch. In some ways it was hard not having her around, but in
other ways it was a relief. Sometimes she reminded me too much of
dad and Cindi.

A surge of guilt splashed around inside me at
the thought, but it was a realization I'd made weeks ago. By now
some of the sharper edges to the emotion had worn away. I shrugged,
dropping my book and binder on the floor next to my bed. Dwelling
on the guilt would just make me think about why I felt guilty in
the first place. I'd find myself on the floor with no memory of how
I'd gotten there.

By the time I'd brushed my teeth and finished
the rest of my nightly ritual, my mind was wholly in the present,
and I was starting to get a little depressed. I'd never
particularly fit in back home, but there'd been enough other people
in various fringe groups that I'd always felt like I had somewhere
to go if I ever wanted more friends. I would've had to play a role
to a certain extent, which is why I'd never made the effort, but
the option had always been there.

It didn't look like that'd
be a possibility in Sanctuary. In an entire day I'd had exactly one
person try and befriend me. As much as I appreciated the effort, I
couldn't shake the feeling Britney was befriending me mostly
because 
she
 didn't have any other options. With mom becoming less
dependable by the day, I was in for a miserable, lonely two years
until I could graduate and escape to a big city. Hopefully there I
could safely find a niche among the other quasi-loners who didn't
fit in anywhere else.

As I turned my light out and got into bed I
realized there'd been one bright spot to the day. Brandon
Worthingfield III might not really be interested in me, but he was
obviously at the top of the social food chain, and he'd already
shown me way more attention than any of the boys back home ever
had. Maybe there was some hope after all.

**

I was lost, not just in the sense of not
knowing where I was, but because I'd never been anywhere even
remotely like this. The breeze was louder than any I'd ever heard
before, and was laden with an unimaginable host of scents.

It took me several seconds to sort through
things enough to realize I was smelling things I didn't even have a
name for. After several seconds of trying to catalog the most
delightful of my new discoveries, I realized I'd had my eyes closed
since I'd gotten here, possibly an unconscious defense mechanism
meant to protect me from sensory overload.

The distant sound of water trickling down a
rock face, of leaves gently caressing each other in the breeze
faded away as I took in an amazing wonderland of light. The trees
I'd been listening to were exactly where I expected them to be, but
it took me several heartbeats to recognize them. Gone were the
sturdy, brown behemoths I'd spent so much time climbing with
Cindi.

Instead, pillars of soft light reached up to
the sky, swaying slowly back and forth with the wind creaking in a
rhythm I'd known by heart since I was seven. I felt tears
collecting in the corners of my eyes as I reached out and touched
the nearest tree. It was as if the world I'd known my entire life
had been simply a moldy cover designed to hide the true nature of
my surroundings. Now that the mask was gone and I was immersed in
vivid colors, living lights, and a sense of harmony so strong it
nearly overwhelmed me.

It was impossible to say for certain how long
I sat looking at the gentle motion of the tree branches, marveling
at the way things made up of light could still cast shadows when
silhouetted by the harsher light of the sun.

Only somehow the sun had disappeared,
replaced by the paler, colder light of the moon. The trees were
still graceful strands of light, but the breeze had changed to a
harsh thing, one carrying new scents that somehow represented
danger.

Something inside me forced my limbs into
motion. I was running before the first howl tore through the night.
I was moving unimaginably fast, jumping fallen trees and bounding
over other obstacles which even my improved vision struggled to
make out in time for me to avoid them. The speed of my passage
wrung tears from my eyes, but I didn't dare slow.

They were back there, four of them moving
with speed only slightly less than my own, noses to the ground to
follow my scent, save for the moments in which they let loose their
unearthly howls.

A flicker of motion up ahead should have made
me pull up in fear, but the smell accompanying it was somehow
familiar, somehow safe. I knew if I could reach the shadowy person
I'd been unconsciously following, I'd be safe, but he was so
incredibly fast and my pursuers were gaining.

**

The sound of my alarm pulled me out of a
whole series of nightmares in which I was running from unknown
menaces. Each had been terrifying, but none as vivid as the first.
Bad dreams had become a frequent companion since the accident. It'd
become nearly passé to wake up emotionally exhausted from what
should have been a restful night, but these dreams had been
different.

I'd played out nearly every possible
combination of events since the accident. Dreams where I was the
one driving instead of Cindi. Dreams where I got a ride home with
someone so dad and Cindi didn't have any reason to be on the road.
Dreams where I was in the truck that killed them, even dreams where
I was in the back seat as a passenger at the moment of impact.

I was used to awaking shaking and scared
countless times during the course of a night, but I'd never felt
that level of pure, bestial fear.

I stumbled into the bathroom and flipped on
the light, only to groan at how ghastly I looked. I was even paler
than normal, with dark circles under my eyes that only a crack
addict could possibly find attractive.

A hot shower did a little to make me more
presentable, I tried to hide the shadows with some makeup, and then
finally gave up after botching the second application, and just put
on some mascara and eyeliner. The mundane process of getting ready
for the day somehow wore away some of the edge to my nightmare. It
was already starting to seem more like a normal, safe dream.

I put on jeans and a button-up shirt, and
then all but stumbled downstairs with my backpack in hand. Sometime
during the night mom had put our message board up on the
fridge.

Went shopping, food in the fridge, don't
forget breakfast and lunch. See you tonight after school. Love you.
--Mom

I shook my head resignedly; you'd think the
message would have changed at least a little over the last few
weeks, but it was still pretty much the same. 'Don't forget to eat,
I'll be back later, but it might be a couple of days.'

I was tempted to just ignore the message, but
that'd just make her testy at some point. It made her feel like a
poor mom if we went too long without some kind of
communication.

Have to stay late for math tutoring. A
friend will bring me home. --A.

Signing my notes with an initial still felt a
little like a stroke of brilliance. Writing out Adriana was a pain,
but for obvious reasons I couldn't use the shortened version of my
name.

I glanced down at my watch and saw it was
nearly time for Britney to show up. With a sigh I opened up the
fridge and pulled out one of the trendy, meal-in-a-bottle drinks
mom had started getting lately. I didn't particularly like them,
but it would keep until I was actually hungry, and mom would count
the bottles as a way of determining how many meals I was
missing.

I thought about taking a second bottle, but
they were too expensive to pour down a sink, and I knew I wouldn't
be hungry enough to finish up the first, let alone a second
meal.

The tinny blare of a car horn pulled me out
the front door. Britney was waiting outside with her heater going
full blast. I was surprised at how cold it was with the sun still
struggling to get above the mountains. Of course it wasn't cold
enough for me to need a heater, but I also wasn't wearing Britney's
shorts, which looked like they were even shorter than the ones
she'd worn the day before.

It was amazing what the administration was
letting everyone get away with. Of course, if I had legs like some
of these girls, I'd probably be joining in.

Britney turned down her rap music just long
enough to say "Hi", and then we were off to school. The music was
fairly hideous, but it did spare me having to try and be friendly
before I was fully awake. Of course it also stopped me from digging
further into the mystery of why it was so dangerous to hike. That
particular question would probably have to wait at least until
lunch.

Mrs. Sorenson looked up as I walked into a
nearly empty class, but I was on time, even if only barely. I'd
heard of teachers taking an instant dislike to one of their
students, but I'd never experienced it first hand until now.

I fielded two questions on the role of
phosphorus in photosynthesis before being hit with a third one I
couldn't answer. I felt my ears go hot as the three other girls in
the classroom giggled.

I slunk out of class as soon as the bell
rang. English went better. Mr. Whethers got the class involved in a
discussion of Heathcliff's motivations, which kept everyone
occupied for the full class time, and distracted me from what was
likely to happen when Britney and I got to algebra.

As we walked back to our lockers between
classes, I noticed that the halls seemed strangely empty. Britney
rolled her eyes when I asked why.

"Of course nobody's here. Tonight's the full
moon, and there was a monster party last night. There'll be another
tonight and then again tomorrow."

I felt my eyes go big. "You mean to tell me
that seventy percent of the school parties for three nights running
every month?"

Britney nodded, "It's the only redeeming
feature to this stupid little town, and I can't even go since the
accident..."

I could see her mentally trying to figure out
how to sidestep the issue, but I wasn't about to let her off the
hook. "Listen, if there's something dangerous around here don't you
think I should know about it?"

She shifted uncomfortably from one foot to
another, eyes glancing to each side of us in an effort to see who
might overhear us. "We can't talk about it here; you'll have to
trust me. Wait until lunch."

I wasn't entirely satisfied, but nodded, and
followed her to algebra.

Mrs. Campbell shot us both a glance that
didn't bode well for any attempt to get out of class without a
stern reprimand, but allowed us to go to our respective seats
without comment.

I pulled out the two assignments I'd done the
night before, and passed them up with everyone else's homework.
Realizing the lecture wouldn't do me any good, I pulled out my
book, and started reading the next section in my self-appointed
study regimen. Mrs. Campbell either understood what I was trying to
accomplish, or was saving up all her venom for after class. She
didn't call on me even once.

Britney wasn't so lucky, and I caught a nasty
look from her each time I surfaced from my textbook. The glares
angered me more than I'd expected. I was having to catch up on a
month's worth of assignments; she didn't have any right to get
pissy just because she wasn't prepared.

The third time it happened, I stopped
pretending not to notice and shot Britney a sugar-sweet look of my
own. She didn't quite seem to know how to take that and the rest of
the class passed quickly. All too soon, it was time to go up and
talk to Mrs. Campbell. I put off the ordeal as long as I could,
waiting until everyone but Britney and I had exited the room.
Britney looked particularly unhappy.

Mrs. Campbell was looking at my homework when
I reached her desk. "I was prepared to tear into you for not going
to the tutoring lab last night, but that hardly seems fair seeing
as how you went ahead and did the work by yourself."

I felt a small glow of satisfaction flare
into life, but her next words ensured it didn't get out of hand.
"Of course, you've got the right answers, and technically you're
attacking the problems correctly, but you're leaving out a couple
of steps that I think will give you problems a bit later on. Please
take my advice and spend a little bit of time at the math lab. Even
if you can't make it every day, you need to come in a few times a
week."

"Yes, ma'am." The scolding actually hadn't
been that bad, almost like disguised praise. Britney looked like
she was hoping for something similar, but Mrs. Campbell's
expression quickly dashed that idea.

"You on the other hand definitely need to
spend every night at the math lab. Your homework was incomplete,
and of the problems you bothered to attempt, you didn't do a single
one correctly. Britney, you're headed towards a failing grade, and
while you might not care, your father most certainly does. Make my
class a priority, or I'll stop in for a checkup and let slip just
how poorly you're doing to dear old dad, and then you'll find
yourself riding the bus to school."