Broken Halo (2 page)

      
His
tone became firm, authoritative – as it had been the day he was cast out. “I
speak the truth and you know it. We could have been together, Sonya. We should
have been. If only you had joined me.”

      
“And
lost my place in heaven? I think not. My existence is a noble one. Yours on the
other hand is damned.”

      
He
bent down and whispered into her ear: “Your existence may be a noble one, but
it has damned you to an everlasting curiosity that will never be satisfied.
Deep down you will always wonder what it feels like to know a man sexually – to
know love and by your own design you will never know either.”

      
Her
chest tightened. Damn the ache. That hurt coming from him. “And you will never
know peace, or the meaning of true love.”

      
He
stared down at her until the power in his gaze willed her to lift her eyes to
his. “There are many different forms of love, Sonya. Some innocent and
platonic, others erotic and decadent. Some pure and self-sacrificing, others
dark and possessive. You consider sacrifice and faithful service to the one who
made you to be the definition of the word; whereas my interpretation would be
to seek that which you desire most and to damn the consequences of pursuing
it.”

      
“That
is precisely why you are a fallen angel now without hope.”

      
“Perhaps,
but I hold the answers to your forbidden questions. Ask me, Sonya. Ask me what
it feels like to have sex.”

      
Her
hands were shaking and her face burned with heat. “I can see plainly what it
entails.”

      
“The
mechanics do not take a genius to comprehend. You know how it is done, but you
have no idea how good it feels. I could describe the wet, seductive heat of a
kiss and the all-consuming fire of touch. The possession of physical union when
there is a bond between the partners in question. The insurmountable rush of
climax and the feeling of rebirth one experiences in the aftermath, but words
will never accurately describe the most incredible feeling one can ever
possibly experience.”

      
Sonya
shivered when he brushed a strand of hair back from her face. The gesture was
invasive and tender, evoking feelings of defilement as equally as it
resurrected closeness long buried in the past and bitterness over chronic
separation.

      
“Let
me show you, little flower,” he whispered into her ear.

      
She
smothered a gasp over the wicked fire that blazed in her canal. “You should
go.”

      
“Immorality
would be wrong, but you yourself claimed thoughts were harmless.”

      
“That
is not what I -”

      
“Watch
them, Sonya. Pretend if only for a moment that it is not Mr. and Mrs. Hemingway
in that bed. It is you and me. Entertain that thought while they climax. That
harmless thought that no one will be affected, nor injured by.”

      
She
fought to banish the tempting thoughts from entering, but the sight and sounds
of Jude and Hannah climaxing had her distracted long enough for Nimbus to
inject a carnal thought into her head. An image of their naked bodies
converging into one beneath the sheets was very clear, like a foreboding
vision, or an alternate reality that existed inside the incubus' mind. She had
no wings in his fantasy and he was not in his demonic form. Both appeared as
human beings, naked and aroused. They looked possessed – utterly lost to
abandon and given over to an unthinkable lust that promised a wealth of
pleasure, but at what cost?

      
“The
fantasy is so vivid, isn't it? So crisp and clear as though it were a
foreshadowing and not merely a thought,” Nimbus murmured into her ear.

      
The
scorching heat of his firm, sensuous lips pressing against her neck in an
intimate kiss, sent a trove of sensation through her body. The moisture lingered
after his lips retreated. When she didn't flinch at the bold contact, his mouth
returned to her neck planting a series of kisses along the surface of her skin
there.

      
“Can
you see it, Sonya? There is no harm in pretending is there? No one to sustain
any pain or suffering from an empty fantasy that will come to nothing?” His
breathtaking whispers were hot and moist where they feathered her skin as he
uttered those words.

      
For
a moment she dared to imagine the physical manifestation of his enticing speech.
The wicked thought was hurled into oblivion when the searing heat of his mouth
enveloped the sensitive flesh of her neck in an aggressive suction that left
her in a surreal state of near insanity. This was wrong, yet quite enjoyable.
It was too much, yet somehow not enough. His palms running slowly up and down
her bare arms were soothing and exhilarating all at once.

      
The
cold, jarring slap of reality hit her and she became shocked that a demon's
mouth was sucking her neck like they were passionate lovers. Then the thought
occurred to her that he could leave a mark on her neck that would give away her
brazen conduct. A stab of guilt plagued her conscience when she remembered that
God was omnipotent and omnipresent; therefore already fully aware of her disloyal
actions.

      
Sonya
shoved Nimbus away in disgust and smacked his face hard. “How dare you!”

      
He
dared to flash her an oh so charming grin that made her confounded heart
flutter like a butterfly foolishly flying into a trap. “I'm glad to see you
have finally warmed up to me again after thousands of years.”

      
“Is
there a shortage of human beings and succubi that compels you to seduce angels
now?” She quipped, trying to still the tremors overwhelming her heated body.

      
“There
are plenty, of course, but you were always my favorite woman.”

      
“We
were never more than friends, nor were we ever intimate.”

      
“In
my head we have been countless times. Your lips claim platonic friendship, but
your body tells me something entirely different.”

      
She
squeezed her thighs together beneath her dress, trying to prevent the flush of
shame over the trickle of wanton need rolling slowly down her inner thigh. “You
are merely seeing what you wish to see.”

      
“And
you are closing your eyes to the reality of the situation. Do you know the power
you give me when you bury your head in the ground? I can feel the heat of
desire permeating off every luscious curve of your body. I can smell the
pheromones radiating from you. You are hopelessly bewitched by me and not
simply because of the provocative show the Hemingway’s put on for us.” He
stepped closer until she could feel the brawny fire of his body fanning her own
in the mere inches that separated them.

      
She
saw movement coming from behind him and knew that Jude and Hannah had risen
from the bed to wash their genitals off at the washbasin before they slept.
Their sweet endearments and mutual chortling were lost in the darkness that
seemed to block their nude physiques from her sight until only the clothed,
strong body of Nimbus remained.

      
“Look
at me, sweet girl.”

      
Her
eyes stung at the old pet name, but she couldn't look at him. He had lulled to
her softly before and at other times demanded she forsake the light and join
him, but he had never dared to touch her so intimately, nor conveyed such depth
of emotion before.

      
The
long, thick finger that hooked under her chin felt like magma against her skin
as he angled her chin to meet the vessel of lust and jurisdiction his eyes had
become. “There was a time when you would have obeyed my command. I still
outrank you, you know.”

      
“In
another kingdom. Your authority there means nothing to me.” When Sonya tried to
pull away his grip on her chin tightened.

      
“You
are so beautiful, Sonya.” He coursed the fingers of his free hand through her
dark tresses affectionately like she always imagined him doing, only the
manifestation of the fantasy was so much richer than she ever fathomed it
being, “Such a waste to let so much loveliness go unseen and untouched. Your
body was made for pleasure. Your will designed to be overcome. Your spirit
broken, until you willingly live and breathe to please your master.”

      
His
words were a dark caress of a nirvana she had never tasted. The teasing kiss of
a forbidden paradise that loomed dangerously near, but tauntingly just beyond
reach. One could fantasize if they dared, but did one called to be set apart
endeavor to reach out for the lush promise of illicit pleasures that were sure
to end in damnation?

      
How
could she look at someone so evil and see only good? How could she salivate for
a liaison that would be cursed in heaven and could only be regarded as right by
the powers of darkness? Mankind made that mistake long ago - casting a second
glance at forbidden fruit. Touching, tasting and now like many of the former
angels, they were fallen. She must not follow in their footsteps.

      
“Just
one kiss, Sonya. God isn't going to throw you out of heaven for that.” Nimbus
leaned in, the hush of his spellbinding murmur sending an array of lascivious
thoughts through her head.

      
The
humid warmth of his breath fanned her face and there was something profoundly
spiritual about breathing in the very air he had held in his lungs only a
second ago. If only for that brief moment, time stood still and nothing else
mattered, only that their spirits were communing as one. The racy thoughts of
each of them seemed to ignite mentally into one flame that brought them closer
together until Sonya couldn't deny that they were of one mind.

      
With
his inviting, supple lips closing in slowly, she realized that she held it in
her power to make them of one body as well, or to walk away. It was her
decision. Before she had looked upon his provocative suggestions as impossible,
but now they seemed very possible, even likely in the face of temptation. Was
he getting into her head and trying to control her mind, or was she making a
conscious decision to surrender to him?

      
Sonya
snapped herself out of the erogenous haze. His strength inhibited her gentle
attempt at retreat as he held her face still and moved in again. “I will call
on one of the archangels if you don't leave now.”

      
He
released her with a sigh of frustration. “You won't always be able to hide
behind them, Sonya. Someday you and I will be on the same side.”

      
The
tepid air filling the void that appeared between them when he stepped away from
her, felt cool and desolate. If she had been ashamed of her subtle acceptance
of his designs on her before, she was utterly stunned by the sense of desertion
she felt from the space he put between them. “We will never be on the same
side.”

      
His
tone softened. “We were once.”

      
Her
chest felt tight and heavy in lieu of the achy spasm in her heart. The unbidden
tears would not be withheld this time. “Before you betrayed me – I mean God.”

      
His
gorgeous eyes narrowed. “
You
betrayed
me
.”

      
“Me?
I'm not the one who joined a rebellion.” The tears came faster and she cursed
the dreaded sniffle that inevitably removed all doubt from his mind that she
was weeping, “Why did you leave me?”

      
His
answer stabbed her heart. “Why didn't you come with me?”

      
The
pierced look in his eyes seeped into her soul. He dropped his shields and his
weapons and there was no more warring between kingdoms of light and darkness.
No loyal angel and vile demon. There was only a broken man and a crushed woman
who had something they never fully understood until they lost it. Or perhaps
the true curse was the potential that they never really lost what they shared.
Its ghost lived on in memories and dreams; in hopes and fantasies.

      
I almost did.
Sonya didn't dare say this for fear he would
use it against her.

      
He
stared at her long and hard for a moment as though he was waiting for her to
speak those words to him, or to say anything at all. When she didn't, he left,
but not before vowing: “It won't always be like this. Next time you weep it
will be on my shoulder. And next time you shudder it won't be in fear. You will
tremble with delight at my touches. One day you will worship me as your master
and you will bow before me.”

      
Her
stomach turned in revulsion over his sacrilegious speech. Only the moisture
gathering in her folds revealed her elation. “You speak blasphemies.”