Broken Hart (The Hart Family) (8 page)

I can’t regret everything that happened, but I just know this is going to make things very, very difficult.  I’m not a casual fuck, and Dante doesn’t do commitment of any kind. 

Fuck, fuck, fuck!   What if our siblings figure this out?  What if I’ve fucked this up so bad that I lose my job? 

Brooke would be devastated to lose Dante in her life.  How am I going to handle seeing him with Dante-bots in the future? 

This last thought makes me almost physically ill.  I look at myself in the mirror and shake my head in horror.  What have I done?

I realize I am riling myself up, and I take a deep breath and center myself.  What’s done is done.  I can’t go back.  I can only go forward and try to do damage control now.  My best course of action is to act like everything is fine. 

We don’t need to talk about this.  I know he won’t want to.  I’ll just make it easier for us both by having a ‘no big deal’ attitude. Friends have sex.  It happens.  (I ignore the little voice in my head that says that friends having sex is a lot easier to get over than what just happened… I can’t deal with those thoughts right now)

I sneak out of the bathroom and then tiptoe out of Dante’s bedroom.  My last view of him before I close his bedroom door is of him lying on his back, with his arm thrown across his eyes and the comforter lying across his thighs.

I’m annoyed with myself that it takes real effort not to go wake him up with a blow job.  I don’t even
like
giving blow jobs.  What the hell is wrong with me? Haven’t I been bad enough?  I need to take the memories I already have and go home.

Naked, I make my way downstairs and inspect the carnage in the living room.  Shit.  I forgot that I don’t have anything to wear.  I clean up the buttons from Dante’s ruined shirt, then take my dress, my ruined underwear and his shirt and throw them away.

I’m left with a mangled bra and a pair of platform wedge sandals, and I can’t drive home in that.  I hit the jackpot in the laundry room because Marie, the live out housekeeper, has left a basket of clean clothes.

I thank my lucky stars as I take one of Dante’s t-shirts and a pair of his Calvin Klein briefs.  Paired with my platforms, it’s quite a sight. 

A quick look at the key hook that hangs outside of the garage shows that I’m good to take any of the cars that are out there.  I grab a set of keys to his BMW SUV. 

I leave a note on the counter that reads “Dante, Sorry, I had to take the BMW to get home since I didn't have a car. I will park it in the work garage on Monday.  Enjoy the rest of your weekend.

Sabrina.”

Moments later I am in the car, flying down the drive.  I use the cars remote to open and close the gate as I leave and just like that, I’m on my way home. 

I drive in silence, oddly disinterested in music.  I pull in to my driveway just after two thirty in the morning and I’m in bed within moments, asleep almost immediately.

CHAPTER SEVEN

I awaken to Brooke standing over my bed, shoving my shoulder and telling me to get up.   Squinting at the clock, I see that it’s almost nine.  Wow, I crashed hard. 

I’m not a morning person, at least not before my shower, so I glare at Brooke.  “Why the hell are you waking me up?”

She’s annoyingly chipper in the morning, something that I am in no mood for right now.  Smiling at me she says “Aw.  Who would have guessed?  You, grumpy upon wake up?” 

I give her the finger and bury my head under my pillow.  “Go way Brooke, I love you, but I need sleep.  Get out.”

She laughs and says, “Sure.  Would you like me to tell Dante to wait, or should I just tell him to leave?”

I shoot straight up from the bed in alarm.  I whisper “did you just say he’s here? 
You mean here like he’s in the house right now?”
 

The look on her face is alarmingly observant.  I forget sometimes that Brooke notices everything. 

She’s silent for a moment and I prod her again for an answer, hoping to keep her from putting any further thought in to it.

“Yep.  He’s in the living room.   I told him I’d try to get you up.  So here I am, getting you up.  You’re sitting up, which means you really are awake and won’t go back to sleep which is good, because I’m meeting the twins and Spencer at Damien's.  We're going to go to Malibu for the day. I’ll be at Dante’s for dinner tonight so if you’re going, I’ll see you there.  Love you!”  And just like that, Brooke bounces out of my room, leaving my door open a crack.

I hear her in the living room, talking to Dante.  I don’t hear everything that is said, but I catch that she tells him that she just woke me up, and then she says she will see him later for dinner.

I haul ass in to my bathroom, locking myself in as I lean against the door in a panic.  Fuck!  He’s here.  I thought I’d have today to get my emotions under control.  Ugh.  Apparently I'm not that lucky.

Taking a deep breath, I use the bathroom and then wash my hands and face. After brushing my teeth, I brush my hair and throw it up in to a messy bun.  This will have to do.  Looking down I realize that I’m wearing still Dante’s shirt and underwear. 

I enter my bedroom
again;
eager to get changed before seeing Dante, but I come to a halt when I see him leaning in my door jam, arms crossed.  His eyes flare as he takes in my attire.

It’s a moment out of time, the two of us staring at each other.  I don’t know what he’s thinking, but I’m trying to deal with the reality of the fact that he was so far inside of me last night that I didn’t know where I ended and he began.   

The silence stretches as we stare at each other and then I notice that he’s pulled something from his pocket.  I watch as he unfolds it and holds it up.  I see that it’s the note I left last night.  Why the hell does he have it with him?

I look back up in to his eyes and the look he gives me lets me know it’s not because he wants to talk about my penmanship.  “Rina, would you like to tell me what the fuck is the meaning of this shit?”

What the hell is his problem?  I think the note was fine.  “Uh.  It’s a note?  Explaining to you that I borrowed one of your cars?  I’m sorry if you’re mad that I took it?”

I say all this in a squeaky voice, turning each statement in to a question because I’m nervous.

Dragging his hands through his hair, he glares at me.  “Fuck Sabrina.  I don’t give a shit about the car.  Take it.  Hand the keys to a stranger and walk away.  Who cares?  But this!
This
is all you had to say? ‘I borrowed your car, have a nice weekend.’  And you ended with a smiley face?  A smiley face!  Un-fucking-believable.  In my entire life I’ve never had sex without a condom.  I lost myself entirely inside of you without one twice.  That makes what happened last night both the best sex I’ve ever had, and the most intimate. Imagine my surprise when I woke up this morning to find that you snuck away in the middle of the night and left me a note like I was some one night stand that you fucked after too many drinks at a bar.”

Yikes.  It would appear that I’ve
seriously
pissed him off. I hem and haw for a moment, trying to think of what to say. 

Finally I take a deep breath and just blurt out, “Dante, honestly.  You and I both know perfectly well that last night was a mistake.  I got up and got my ass out of there to avoid this” I say as I gesture between us. 

“This tension is exactly what I don’t want.  I apologize that the note wasn’t very personal, but I didn’t know what to say or what to do and…”

He’s across the room in a flash, and he cups my face in his hands.  I watch in a daze as he tilts my head and covers my mouth with his.  With infinite care, he maneuvers me to my bed and lays me down without ever breaking the kiss.

It’s slow, passionate and unbelievably sensual.  When he lifts his head I groan in annoyance and try to pull him back to me, but he shakes his head.

His eyes are locked on to mine, and he rubs the bottom of my lip with his thumb.  My god, he literally takes my breath away. 

“Rina, I don't think last night was a mistake.  Don’t ever say that again.  You aren’t some random fuck.  I’ve never ever had sex with someone in my home.  You’re different.  For me, once was not enough.  Can you honestly tell me it was for you?  If so, I’ll leave now and we don’t need to talk about it again.”

Wow.  He’s reacting a lot differently than I had anticipated.  I can see that he wants me to answer his question, but I hardly know what to say.  I finally ask the only thing that’s going through my mind. “What do you see happening here Dante?  I need to know what I’d be getting in to.”

He sighs as he rolls on to his back and stares at the ceiling.  After a minute he rolls to his side and props himself up on his arm so he can look down at me.

“I want us to do more of what we did last night, a lot more.  But I need to be straight with you.  I don’t want a traditional relationship, nor do I want a girlfriend.  I never want to get married.  If that’s a deal breaker for you, I’ll back off.  But if you agree, let’s see this through, until we agree that we don’t want each other anymore.”

I’m in hell.  No matter what happens now, the situation has changed forever.  If I say no, it will always hang over us.  If I say yes, who knows what will happen. 

Selfishly, I want to continue.  I adore this man, and these memories could last me forever.  I don’t think sex will ever be this good with anyone else.  But I need to find a way to protect my heart, and I know it.

No man was measuring up to him before last night.  What are the chances they will after? 

He’s staring at me like I’m a box he’s afraid to open. I get it… he feels similar anxiety to my own, just for a different reason.  He’s worried I won’t say yes.  I’m worried about what happens either way. 

Finally I realize that no matter the decision, I’m screwed.  We’ve crossed the Rubicon.  There is no putting the genie back in the bottle. 

I decide to do it. I’m throwing caution to the wind and taking the option that gives me the right to touch him for however long it lasts.  Of course there’s going to be a price.  That was a given the second he slid inside of me last night.  I need to do this.  I’ll deal with the fallout later.

Sitting up, I see his face fall.  He thinks I’m saying no.  I shake my head at him as I swing myself over so that I’m straddling him.  His eyes blaze as I adjust myself on his lap. 

Leaning over I whisper in to his ear, “My answer is yes.”

The breath he lets out is huge.  He pumps his fist in to the air and shouts, “yes!”