Broken Lives (23 page)

“
Away from the
restrooms?” 

“
Yes,
please.” 

“
I sure do, follow me,” she
says, as she picks up two large plastic menus.

We follow her to the back table and he
explains he cannot stand to eat near a restroom. I listen to him
and I have to agree with him.

He holds my chair out for me and I look back
over my shoulder at him.

He says, “Just because I am a recovering drug
addict doesn’t mean I wasn’t raised right.” 

“
I didn’t say anything.” I
scoot my chair in and watch him take the seat across from
me. 

“
You didn’t have to. I have
seen that look before.” 

“
Your server will be right
over,” the hostess says as she walks away from the
table.

“
Thank you,
Rosemary.” 

“
I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to
judge you. It’s just been awhile since someone opened the door for
me or even pulled my chair out for me.” 

“
It’s ok. I’d like to think
even when I was on drugs I was a gentlemen.” 

The server comes over and
takes our drink order. Adam looks at me to order first before he
orders.
He really is a
gentleman.

“
Are you hungry, Molly?” he
asks, while looking over the menu. “They have really good pancakes
here.”

I look over my menu and see the large stack
of buttermilk pancakes. “Yes, I guess I am.” 

“
Good, I haven’t eaten since
breakfast and I was afraid I would have to fill up on
coffee.
Actually, the coffee is really
good, too, as long as you want real coffee and not something that
tastes like dessert. And it is not day old.” 

I laugh and smile at the same time. He is
charming and cute.

He says, “You have a beautiful smile; you
should wear it more often.” 

“
Thank
you.” 

The waitress comes back and we both order
breakfast for dinner. He does most of the talking and I am relieved
he does. I learn he was born and raised in Florida, he is the
middle of three brothers, and he was raised in an upscale
neighborhood. He admits to getting hooked on Xanax while in
college. He tells me his roommate would take them to ease the
anxiety of exams and soon he was taking them, too. One thing led to
another and soon he was taking more than he needed; he got kicked
out of school and was forced to come crawling back home.

The server brings our food, and Adam
continues to talk while we eat. He tells me his parents gave him
two choices: to get help or to walk away and never come back. He
says that if he wasn’t sober that day he never would have gotten
the help he needed. He said he will never forget the pain in his
mother’s eyes and will never forget knowing that he was the one to
put it there. He looks away and I can see the moisture in his
eyes.

I admit to him that I lost everything: a
husband, a daughter, and a career. I also add that I still use,
although I am fighting it desperately every day. I tell him I want
to be clean so at least I can see my daughter again. I admit the
detox symptoms are the worst part and that I use now only to take
the edge off.

He pays the bill and holds my hand as he
walks me through the now almost dark parking lot to my car. “Thank
you for having dinner with me, Molly. I really do hate eating
alone.”

“
Thank you, Adam. It was
nice talking to someone without feeling like they were judging
me.” 

“
Who am I to judge? Call me
if you need to talk or if you want me to talk. Sometimes it helps
to just listen to others ramble on.” 

“
Thank you; maybe I will.” I
smile and get into my car. 

“
Drive safely and I’ll see
you on Tuesday.” He shuts my door and walks away. 

I drive to the hotel feeling determined to
not use anymore. I’m going to ask Bobby if he wants to come with me
to the next meeting.

Emma

Alec calls me and asks me if
I can pick up the kids from school. He said that he has something
important he has to do and that he is on a deadline. I don’t
question him, and I don’t need a reason to pick up the kids from
school. I call mom and dad to see if they want to meet us at a
restaurant for dinner and mom says they are both tied up. Next, I
call Cheryl and Danny and they also have plans for the evening.
Lastly, I call Brooke and learn that Brice is working late and she
would love to go have dinner with us. My best friend is
almost
always available
when I want to do something.

We have pizza and salads with the kids and
chat about Brice and his job. Brooke tells me he has been so busy
that he is looking to hire additional help. 

“
That’s great news, right?
More business means more money.” 

“
It is great news, but it
also means more paperwork.” 

“
You do the billing
yourself, right?” I ask, taking a sip of my sweet
tea. 

“
I do, but I have never done
payroll before and we’ll have to interview some guys to work with
him. I don’t know how to do that.” 

“
Maybe there is an online
class to teach you how to do payroll and you might want to have his
mom and dad come down to help out with the interviews. His dad ran
a successful business for years.” 

“
That is a great idea. His
mom did the payroll for the company, too. I’ll still need to learn
the tax laws for Florida.” 

“
Momma, can we go play the
games now?” James asks.

I look over at their plates and see that they
ate most of their salads and all of their pizza. “Good job, drink
your milk and then you can.” After they drink their milk, I reach
in my purse and hand them each two dollars. Brooke also gives them
each two dollars. Each kid now has four dollars. All four kids
excitedly take off for the small game room in the back of the pizza
shop. Raelynn skips behind the boys, and I have to smile.

We pull up at the house just as Alec pulls
in. I look at the clock in the car; I am surprised he is just now
getting in. He opens my door for me and then he opens the kids’
door for them. Brooke is already out of the car and unbuckling her
boys from the seatbelt.

“
Did you get everything that
you needed done?” I ask, looking at him. 

“
No, not yet.” He leans down
and hugs James and Raelynn. “I missed you guys; did you already
eat?” 

“
Yes, daddy, we had pizza
and a salad for dinner.” 

“
And we had a bunch of money
to play games with,” James adds.

“
You did? That sounds like
fun.”

He leans in and kisses me before asking, “How
much is a bunch of money?” 

“
Four dollars,” Briley yells
as he runs past the car towards his house. 

“
Good night, you guys, and
thanks, Emma, for dinner,” Brooke says, holding Braden’s hand as
she walks him past the car.

We say, “Good night,” and walk up to the
house where the kids are sitting on the steps.

“
Did you have a good night?”
Alec asks, looking over at me as he unlocks the
door. 

“
We did. I brought you home
leftover pizza.” I smile. “I know it’s not much. I’m
sorry.” 

“
That’s all right, I love
cold pizza.” 

We tuck the kids in bed; every night that we
do this together, we switch kids. Tonight I get Raelynn, and Alec
gets James to tuck in.

“
Emma, thank you for
tonight. I had a lot of fun.” 

“
Raelynn, you are more than
welcome. Good night, Pretty Girl, I love you.” 

“
I love you, too.” She hugs
me and says, “Good night, Emma, and daddy.” 

Alec kisses and hugs Rae as I kiss and hug
James. We turn off the light and leave the door cracked for them,
as we leave their room. They still sleep in the same bedroom
although we have an empty spare room. When we mentioned it to them,
they didn’t want to be separated. Not just yet anyway; a time will
come when they won’t be able to stand to be in the same room with
each other. Until then, I don’t mind that they share a
bedroom. 

Alec showers before bed. I
am reading
Honey Badger Goes to Hell — and
Heaven
by Martina Donna Ramone and David
Bruce — a book not everyone will like — when Alec walks into the
bedroom wearing a pair of pajama bottoms.

I place the paperback
book
on the nightstand and sit up
straighter in bed.

“
Do we have any plans for
tomorrow?” Alec asks as he climbs in the bed.

“
No, not that I can
remember.” 

“
I was thinking about taking
you and the kids to a new restaurant that opened up; it’s just on
the outskirts of town. How does that sound?” 

“
Sounds good; what time do
you want to go?” 

“
What about if we go around
5:00 and maybe take a ride out in the country? We can even stop off
and have ice cream at one of the old-fashioned ice cream
parlors.” 

“
I think it sounds like a
great idea.”

When I wake up, Alec is already out of bed. I
smell bacon and I know it’s the weekend. Alec always cooks a big
breakfast on the weekends. I hear the kids laughing, and it makes
me smile.

When I walk out in the living room, I am
surprised to see that James, Raelynn, and Alec are already dressed
for the day. “Do you guys think you have school today?” I ask,
looking at each of them. 

“
No, momma, it’s Saturday,”
James says, rolling his car over Raelynn’s Barbie doll.

“
Did I sleep in today?” I
ask, looking at the clock on the stove. 

“
Nope, daddy woke us up
early so we could go shopping!” Raelynn says,
excitedly. 

Alec is standing at the stove with his back
to me. “Alec, what are you going shopping for? We don’t need
anything, do we?” 

“
Milk, we need milk and
bread,” he stutters.

“
I just bought some the
other day; are you sure we are out already?” I stand up and walk to
the refrigerator. “We have milk, see.” 

Alec walks over to me and takes it from my
hands before he empties the entire container down the sink. “It’s
spoiled, I meant to throw it out earlier.” He takes the now empty
milk jug and places it with the recyclables. 

“
I know I checked the date
on that when I bought it. Are you sure it was
bad?” 

“
It’s time to eat. Emma, do
you want toast with your eggs?” Alec asks as he places the bacon,
eggs, and toast on the plates.

“
Yes, please.”

After breakfast, Alec takes
the kids to the store to get milk. I offered to go with them, but
he wanted to take the kids alone. I’ll do the dishes, clean up, and
shower while they’re gone. Being home alone for a change feels kind
of nice. I play some Nickelback’s album
Silver Side Up
, which includes “How
You Remind Me,” and start to make the beds. 

Nickelback is a Canadian rock group that
almost everyone pretends to hate. The 30 million albums that
Nickelback has sold shows that in reality almost everyone secretly
loves them. 

I dust the living room and admire the family
portraits of us throughout the house
. I quickly do
the dishes and take a hot bubble bath before Alec and the kids get
home. I do my hair, apply my makeup, and get dressed in a white and
pale blue sundress. When they still aren’t home, I become worried.
I send Alec a text.

Emma: Where are
you?
 

Alec: Still at the store;
sorry, it’s taking longer than I thought.
 

Emma: That’s all right. I
was just worried.
 

Alec: We’ll be home
soon.
 

I make some sweet tea in my very clean
kitchen, change the music in the CD player to Keith Urban and sit
on the front porch and wait for my family to get home. I wave to
Brooke, Brice, and the boys as they pull out of their driveway.

When my tea is gone, I walk back into the
house. I have no idea what to do in this house alone. I walk room
to room looking for something to clean. I run to the door when I
hear the car door close.

I wait on the front porch and watch as
Raelynn then James get out of the backseat of the car. Alec looks
up at me and smiles. Raelynn and James run up to the porch, and
Alec walks slowly behind them. I bend down and hug Rae and then
James.

“
You look stunning today,”
Alec says, bending down to kiss me. 

“
Thank you; do you need help
carrying in the groceries?” 

“
I’m sorry, what?” he asks,
looking at me like he has no idea what I’m talking
about. 

“
The groceries, do you need
help carrying them into the house?” 

“
No, we couldn’t decide what
to buy. I need to get a shower before we leave for
dinner.” 

I watch him walk down the hallway towards the
bedroom. “Did you at least buy some milk?” 

“
No, they were out of milk,”
he yells before he disappears into the bedroom and shuts the door
behind him. 

I walk into the bedroom, and Raelynn and
James are looking under the bed for something. “Hi, can I help you
find something.”