Broken Obsession - Part Two (17 page)

Amber bent over again and cried in her lap. So many
memories dashed in and around her aching heart. Peyton, her baby
boy, why did he have to die? He was just a little boy! He had his
whole life ahead of him. What did he do? It was
she
who had
been bad and therefore, punished. It was she. Her affair? Was she
being punished for having an affair with Eduardo? Were they being
punished for being...happy?

Oh...dear...God,
her poor baby, all alone in
that dark closed box. Feeling compelled to take a shovel and dig
him out, he didn’t belong there. Good Lord, she didn’t have enough
time with him. Why was
he
dead? She should be the one who
should die!

Amber wrapped the other side of the belt around her
neck then realized sickly that it wasn’t long enough once she tied
the knot. She fell down to the bed and wiped away her tears already
streaming down the sides of her face when she noticed the bottles
that were tossed on the floor when she was searching for a razor
blade.

Asendin. Desyrel. Pamelor and Prozac for her
depression. Dalmane, Seconal to help her sleep.
Yes.
Yes,
those will do.

Amber got off the bed and picked up all the bottles
off the floor and started to empty each and every one until there
was a mound of prescription drugs on her mattress. She eyed the
bottle of Vodka conveniently on the end table and walked over to it
and brought it toward the bed. Without any hesitation, without any
shame, Amber grabbed a handful of mixed pills and plopped them all
in her mouth. She then brought the bottle up to her throat and took
a swig of the liquid and then downed the rest of the Vodka.

*****

No one saw him walking down the desolate corridor
this time. Not one single nurse—or one single woman—had been
captured by his attractive facade.

Eduardo reached Amber’s bedside at two o’clock in the
morning and slowly sat down next to her lying there. He was in
awe—he was in disbelief, and lowered his head. What an awful sight,
Amber numb in a hospital bed. How many months had he held vigil at
her bedside when she tried to commit suicide once before? Sixteen
painstaking months? Why did she do this again? Why did she feel
that taking her life was always the answer?

He grabbed her hand, but didn’t cry on her lap like
the last time. He did however, smoothed his fingers over hers and
thought about Mrs. Lopez. It was she who had notified him about
Amber’s latest attempt. He had no idea that when he let go of his
nanny that she would run to Amber to see if she could help her and
Amber hired her mostly for companionship and not to clean up her
apartment. He guessed they had struck up a bond after all and that
caused a weak smile to his lips.

Mrs. Lopez called an ambulance immediately when she
found Amber out cold on her bed. Patience was right by her side
once again and kept her body warm.

Amber had a gastric lavage or her stomach pumped
within reaching the emergency room. Activated charcoal was then
given to Amber to help absorb any drugs or poisons that were left
in the stomach.

Eduardo was startled by Sheila and Molly walking in
through the door at that moment, he didn’t expect to see them
there, especially so late at night. Standing up, he first
straightened out his apparel.

Sheila and Molly were in shock. Of all people, they
certainly didn’t expect to see Eduardo, Victor maybe, but
definitely not Eduardo.

“What are you doing here?” Sheila asked, speaking up
first.

Eduardo looked over at Amber, she still wasn’t awake.
“Mrs. Lopez called me. She thought I’d want to know.”

“And do you? Want to know I mean?” Sheila asked
hopeful.

“Of course...
always,
excuse me,” Eduardo
expressed walking around the two gawking women and out the
door.

“I can’t believe he came, mom,” Molly relayed, gazing
over at Amber’s body, “Do you think he still loves her?”

Sheila looked over at Amber herself. Amber was
beginning to show signs of waking up. “We’ll never know…will we?”
Sheila then leaned down and grabbed at Amber’s hand.

“I’m gonna find out,” Molly slowly said, smiling at
Amber as she stirred in the bed.

“But Amber will never know how he truly feels, not
unless she stays alive.”

Amber opened her eyes to find Sheila and her sister
Molly at her side. They smile down at her as Amber painstakingly
brought her hand up to her forehead.

“I’m mad at you,” Sheila sternly pronounced holding
back her tears.

Amber couldn’t move her mouth; she couldn’t believe
she was still here! Good Lord, why didn’t she die? “Who found
me?”

“Mrs. Lopez. She wouldn’t have been there, but she
went back to your apartment to collect something she forgot.
Patience was howling beside you on the bed.”

“Oh mom...why didn’t you just let me die?”

Sheila now let go of her anger and especially her
emotion, “Because you’re my daughter
dammit!
And I’m sick
and tired of watching you destroy yourself! You’ve single handedly
ruined your life Amber; a death of a child doesn’t always equal a
death of a marriage. You two should have held it together, not
break it apart—it was just a test, couldn’t you see that? You
pushed away a man who adored you Amber and you threw away a
marriage that
even I
wished I had. You’re going back to Palm
Desert Treatment Center whether you like it or not!”

“Eduardo!”

He turned around, shocked at the sight of his former
sister-in-law running down the hallway toward him. “Molly? What
happened…Is she OK?”

“Do you still love my sister?”

Eduardo turned to look down the hallway and the
doorway he just came from, “I told you already, I’ll always care
for her, is she OK?”

Molly laughed, and then dug her hands in her back
pockets. “Yes, she just woke up and looks as if she’ll be
fine.”

Eduardo closed his eyes and then dug his own hands
down his coat pockets. “Thank God.”

Molly looked into his eyes as he raised them to look
into hers. “Do you remember when Amber tried to get us together all
those years ago?”

Eduardo remembered the day of Amber’s wedding; it was
the day Amber married his brother. Boy was that a tumultuous time.
He didn’t know if he was coming or going. He knew he was in love
with her but never wanted to actually admit it. Just watching her
intermingle within his family, kiss and hold his brother was pure
torture.

At the wedding, Amber tried to set him up with her
sister. They danced the remainder of the wedding reception, even
went out for coffee later, Molly was very nice girl, but he simply
wasn’t interested. “Why?”

“Oh Eduardo, I knew back then that you cared for my
sister. The way you used to look at her, I tried to deny it because
I thought Amber was in love with Victor.”

“Me too,” he said, looking down at the ground.

“I don’t understand it...God, I’ve been so jealous of
what you two had! Look at me, I’ll be forty this year and I haven’t
even gotten married yet. I date producers, actors, directors,
cameramen, average Joe’s off the street, but I can never seem to
find not even a smidgen of what you two shared.”

Eduardo stared at Molly. She was the same height as
her sister, almost the same color hair, but her eyes were brown. He
stared at her brown eyes for a second and then looked back at the
ground. “Your sister is poison to me right now. I just need time
away to sort things through. I, myself haven’t even had a chance to
grieve for my son,” he said, his voice cracking. “It’s been all
about your sister—”

“Rather than all about you, right? Good heavens, if
you’re not the center of the universe, then no one else deserves to
grab some attention?”

Eduardo swallowed his pride. Contempt, he hated
condescension. “Your sister hates me Molly.
Hates me.”

Molly started to howl, “My sister
worshipped
you! What a crazy proud fool you are...if you can’t wait to get
back what you had together then you don’t deserve her.”

*****

Amber went back to Palm Desert Treatment Center and
underwent her detox from drugs and alcohol. She met up with Dr.
Hayward again and he was saddened by her return.

During the next couple of months, her one and one
sessions consisted of Amber telling him about Eduardo and what
happened to them. Confessions that included the reasons why she
started to drink heavily and the excuses as to why; having an
affair, coping with the ridicule. She told Dr. Hayward that she
thought Eduardo was cheating on her and that he continued to deny
it. She believed he was lying and that forced her to start to drink
because the intuition was making her crazy.

And then there was Peyton. Her little boy often
haunted her, waking up in the middle of the night, imagining him
standing there at the edge of her bed, watching her sleep. She
truly believed they lost Peyton because they were being punished
for committing adultery. Dr. Hayward explained to her that it was
simply not the case, that Peyton was a God send, not a sacrifice.
They chose to destroy it, not some profound upper being choosing
reckoning. Amber realized she continued to be numb from Eduardo
abandoning her and she would never forgive him for that.

It was there that Amber learned to forgive, but
Eduardo would never know that.

What the heck does painting have to do with
recovering from acute depression? Nothing, Amber realized as she
plopped a dab of bluish paint onto a blank canvas. Two other
patients were spread out amongst her and outside trying to paint
the indigo sky.

Amber began to swish the paint around, making a mess
rather than creating something artistic. She went to scratch her
forehead and tried to figure out how to paint the ocean when a blob
of blue paint fell onto her cheek. She grabbed a nearby cloth she
had resting over the back of her chair and wiped the paint away
from her face but didn’t realize she had just made a noticeable
blue streak across her skin. She continued on with her painting,
dabbing the blue every which way but right.

“I’d buy that.”

Amber turned around and was astonished by what she
saw. She scanned over his legs first and brought her eyes gradually
up to his face. He was tall, taller than Amber, she assumed. Her
heart began to beat faster when her eyes reached his face. He was
also very good-looking and...
Latin
, like her ex, Amber
immediately turned back to her canvas with her face hot from an
evident blush. “Thanks,” she let go, “But it’s not for sale, I’m
thinking of giving it to Dr. Hayward as a wedding present.”

“Trying to piss him off?”

Amber started to giggle, “That
was
my
intention.”

Anthony Rivera walked into her full view. She hadn’t
fully looked at him, but he noticed her. Her hair was quite
striking; he always loved ebony hair on a woman. Her face, he
didn’t quite count on. She was unique in her genuineness. No
makeup, she was a natural beauty with a matchless pair of eyes that
seized the deal and that’s when he realized he’d seen her somewhere
before.

Amber’s breath was taken away momentarily once he
came into full light. No one had affected her heart that way since
her ex husband, meeting this man was electric. The man was not only
good-looking, but gorgeous on top; tall and distinctive looking
with classic features, a goatee around his mouth, long thin nose
and aquiline brown eyes. His hair was dark, black, almost like
hers. He made her heart flutter.

“Tony Rivera, recovering alcoholic,” he presented
her, extending out his hand for hers to shake. When she went to
shake his hand, he grabbed the cloth off her lap, and then wiped
the remaining blue paint off her cheek that was blemishing her
appeal.

He wasn’t shy, she realized, rather bold of him to do
that too. “Amber Sanchez, recovering from depression and fear of
abandonment,” she happily expressed, realizing how truly attractive
he was.

Tony started to howl. “Dr. Hayward feed you that
line?”

Amber smiled in return, blushed at his smile and the
way he made her feel when it hit her. They had met before? “Do we
know each other?”

Tony gazed around him and drew up a nearby chair and
positioned it next to hers. He turned the chair around and leaned
his broad arms and shoulders on the rim. “A long time ago,” he
softly said, his voice trailing, “And no longer matters.”

Amber looked shyly away again. He really shouldn’t be
affecting her heart the way that it was but he did, “You were a
business partner of ours, weren’t you?” She asked, nodding her
head, the images of that magical night all coming back to her. “We
met at the bar?”

Tony was elated that she had remembered. “I told you
were beautiful,” he smiled, exposing his nice white grin. “You
still are.”

Amber let the compliment sink in. It sure felt good.
“You new here?”

“No,” Tony voiced, looking down at the grass, “I’ve
been a patient on and off for the past several years. This has been
the longest I’ve been sober though. I’m going on three years.”