Broken Series (18 page)

Seven

Rainey

Our girls’ night started out like any other night and although it was just the three of us, we had a great time. We discussed the men in our lives, although, really, Mallory was the only one truly happy with the man in her life.

“So, I have to tell you guys something,” I started as they poured wine. I declined the offer and stuck to water, which was guaranteed not to make me sick.

“Oh, gossip! Do tell.” Gabby scooted closer to me on the couch.

“It’s not gossip, per se, but I’ve been bruising pretty easily lately, and my doctor had me have some blood drawn today to check things out,” I confessed.

“What! Oh no,” Mallory said, moving over to the floor in front of the couch and putting her arm on my knee.

Gabby grabbed my hand and squeezed. “We’re here for you,” she said.

I smiled at them. “I know. Believe it or not, I’m okay with however the results turn out,” I assured them. It was the truth. Life or death wasn’t really a big deal to me anymore. I accepted the fact that I would probably die much younger than anyone else I knew and whatever happened was meant to be. “The problem is, I think Baker knows,” I explained.

“Oh. Well, why don’t you tell him?” Gabby suggested.

“I think that’s a great idea,” Mallory said as she patted my leg. “He deserves to know.”

“I know I should. The problem is, now I’m under a time restraint to tell him, because of Luke.”

“What does Luke have to do with anything?” Mallory asked.

“Well, Baker must have seen the bruises on my back and he mentioned something to Luke. So Luke confronted me and demanded that I tell Baker. He said he was giving me a week to tell him or he was going to,” I said.

“That doesn’t sound like something Luke would say,” Gabby protested.

“He’s bluffing,” Mallory announced.

“I don’t think he is, Mal. He looked angry with me for keeping this away from Baker,” I said.

“Well, I imagine he’s thinking about how hard I took the news of Dad’s cancer – Dad kept it from me for years and I didn’t have any idea. It was rough to face it at the very last minute and I didn’t have a whole lot of time to grieve,” Mallory said.

Gabby nodded. “Something that neither of you saw was the effect of Joe’s cancer on Luke. He watched the man he looked up to most – I mean, Joe was like a father to Luke… And Luke watched his body deteriorate and his health fail for a long time. It was hard on him. He held resentment toward you, Mal, and even though you guys have worked everything out, the stress of dealing with Joe all by himself wore him out, both mentally and physically. So when he gets mad at you, Rainey, he’s probably thinking about all the time he wished he could share his burdens with someone. He also probably knows that Joe would have been better off if Mallory had known sooner. He would have been able to spend more time with his daughter before he died.”

“So even though he’s angry with you, what he’s saying is true. He doesn’t want Baker to resent you the way he resented Mallory for a long time. Of course, Mallory never knew, and so they were able to work it out, but Baker knows something is going on… How is he going to feel when he finds out it’s leukemia? That you’re
dying
,” Gabby stressed.

“Gabby! Not cool,” Mallory chastised her.

“Nope, you don’t get to judge me, Mallory. You, of all people, should know the importance of being able to say your goodbyes. Especially considering that if your dad had died any sooner, you never would have been able to forgive yourself for not being there. And no matter what those test results show, the end result is your death, Rainey. Whether it’s tomorrow or five years from now, or fifteen years from now. And Baker truly cares about you. He’s not going to be okay with being left in the dark this long. You two have been dating for weeks. He has a right to know, and I am one hundred percent with Luke on this. You need to tell Baker, the sooner the better.”

Gabby crossed her arms over her chest, a dare for either me or Mallory to challenge her. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t argue with her logic. She was absolutely right. And that meant I needed to tell Baker about the leukemia.

I nodded to Gabby. “I’ll tell him tomorrow, after I get the test results. And,” I added when it looked like she was going to protest, “I’ll tell him whether I get good news or bad.”

Mallory kept quiet but squeezed my knee again. I suggested we watch a movie and Gabby moved to put a disc in the Blu-Ray player.

We spent the next hour and a half watching Tom Cruise as Maverick. When Luke walked in the front door, we all looked at him expectantly.

“I don’t mean to interrupt,” he said, throwing his hands up in defense. “I’m just going to go to bed. Goodnight, babe.” He walked over and placed a kiss on Mallory’s forehead and then walked back to the room they shared.

“I guess that’s our cue to get out of here,” Gabby said.

“You guys don’t have to,” Mallory protested, but I could see her looking down the hall with anticipation.

I smiled. “We’ll go, Mal. And we’ll talk to you tomorrow,” I promised.

Gabby and I got up off the couch and made our way outside. Before I got into the mini-van, Gabby put a hand on my shoulder.

“I’m sorry I was so harsh, Rain,” she apologized.

“Don’t apologize, Gabby. One of the reasons we are such good friends is that we’re always honest with each other. I wouldn’t trade that for anything,” I replied. I pulled her close and hugged her. “Love you, Gabby,” I said in her ear.

“I love you, too, babe. No matter what you decide about Baker,” she said as she pulled away from the hug. “Remember that he only has your best interests at heart. He cares about you.”

I smiled at her words, more certain than ever that she was right. This thing with Baker might have started out as a fling, but it was quickly turning into more than that, whether I wanted it to or not. Baker was important to me, and if had a secret like mine, I would probably brow-beat him until he told me the whole story. So the fact that he was being patient and understanding only proved that he was the kind of guy I should be with. Not to mention he was incredible in bed.

I grinned like an idiot as I thought about his lovemaking skills and got into the driver’s seat of my mother’s mini-van. Maybe I would go over to his place tonight and surprise him with a good romp. And then promise him that I would tell him. I just needed a bit more time to work up the courage.

When I pulled into the driveway, I was surprised to see all the lights off in his apartment. But the outside light was on, a beacon of invitation to me; no matter how unsure he was about us, he always made sure I felt like I mattered. I sat there in the driveway for several minutes, thinking about how lucky I was to have a guy like Baker. He was pleasant and good-natured with an amazing sense of humor. He could always make me laugh.

I got out and walked up the steps, opening the front door like I belonged there and walking straight into his bedroom. He was laying on his bed, propped up with an extra pillow and doing something with his phone. He looked up when he saw me and his face lit up, even more than it already was from the glow of the screen. I smiled in reaction and paused at the threshold, taking the time to just stare at him. He was naked, but partially covered by the sheet pulled across his legs. His arms were thick with muscle, his chest broad and tan. His waist was trim and narrow, his hips almost non-existent beneath the cover of the sheet.

He tilted his head at me. “See something you like?” He pulled the sheet down just a bit more and I could feel my body tingle at the idea of getting my hands on him.

“Not yet, I don’t,” I said as I walked over to the bed. “But I will.” I yanked the sheet off the end of the bed, revealing his beautiful naked body, and had to step back from the impact. I had seen him naked plenty of times, but each time was like the first, taking my breath away.

Unfortunately for me, I stepped on the edge of the sheet that was hanging from my hand. My body jerked unnaturally and my foot twisted in the thin fabric. Even as my brain told my hand to let go of the sheet, I clutched it tighter. The force of my grip on the sheet caused both my feet to come out from under me. I fell backwards, my ass slamming into the hardwood floor and then my head making a resounding crack against the wood. I closed my eyes in utter humiliation.

When I opened them, Baker was standing near me, leaned over so his head was close to mine. There was an unmistakably glitter in his eyes as he tried to hide his smile.

“Do you have a problem staying on your feet?” he asked.

“You know, most guys would like a woman who constantly found herself on her back,” I retorted.

He snorted in laughter. “Touché. I prefer to be the one on my back, though,” he said as he offered me a hand up.

I couldn’t even grip his hand, I was laughing so hard. I managed to sit up and he sat next to me.

“I wasn’t sure you’d come by tonight,” he whispered once the laughter died down.

“I wasn’t sure I would, either. But I wanted you to know something,” I started. Baker sucked in a breath in anticipation, obviously expecting the worst. “I’m going to tell you what’s up with me. I know that sounds lame, but I
will
tell you. I just need a couple more days, okay?”

“Take all the time you need, Rainey. I don’t expect you to share everything with me. But the fact that you want to, even if you don’t know how, makes all the difference. I would wait a thousand years to listen to something you had to tell me.”

My heart clenched and I drew his face closer to mine, anxious to kiss him and end this conversation that was precariously close to turning even more serious. I set my lips on his and when he gathered me in his arms, I knew he agreed with me about the conversation. He tasted like beer and I moaned into his mouth, loving every taste of him. His hands went to my hair, gripping my head and pulling me closer.

When I put my arms around his waist, I realized belatedly that he was naked and I was completely dressed. I started to giggle.

“Something funny?” he asked, nibbling the fullness of my lower lip.

“Well, I’m still fully clothed and you’re…not,” I giggled again.

Baker laughed against me, his shoulders shaking my body. “Let’s remedy that, then,” he suggested, rising up off the floor and helping me stand.

When I was upright, he undid the button and zipper of my jeans, pushing the material off my hips and down my legs. I stepped out of them and he made his way back to me, his hands trailing softly across my body. Goosebumps formed on my skin and I shivered with excitement. He slowly unbuttoned my shirt, paying extra attention to the chest area. My nipples strained against the fabric as he rubbed them through it. He grinned at me, enjoying watching me squirm in his arms.

He finally finished and pushed my shirt off my shoulders, letting it hit the floor. I stood there before him, almost completely naked, and felt a little self-conscious. My body had never been perfect, and I still wasn’t used to having a smaller figure now, even though it had been a while since I lost the weight.

As if picking up on my reservations, Baker called my attention. “Rainey, look at me. You are so exquisite, so beautiful I can barely keep my hands off you whenever I’m near you. But your beauty has little to do with your looks and the most to do with this,” he said, putting his palm over my heart.

My throat closed. How had I been lucky enough to attract this man? He was absolutely perfect, my exact match in nearly every way. Baker would walk through the fires of Hell for me, if I asked him to. Tears welled up in my eyes and everything went blurry.

“Don’t cry, baby,” he said, wiping a tear from my cheek. “You are truly beautiful.” Baker slipped his arm beneath my legs and lifted me up in his arms. My hands went around his neck and I smiled at him. He walked around the bed, careful to avoid the killer sheet, and set me on the mattress. He jumped over me onto the bed, making us both bounce.

I laughed and more tears escaped my eyes.

Eight

Baker

I wiped more tears from her cheeks and smiled at her. Rainey was, without a doubt, the most beautiful woman I’d ever encountered. She returned my smile and I leaned down to kiss her gently. Even though I was primed and ready for a romp in the sack, I wanted her to know that what was between us was more than just sex for me.

So I rolled onto my back and dragged her over to me so that her head was cradled in the crook of my neck. Her left hand trailed down my chest toward my erection, but I grabbed her hand and brought it back up to my chest.

I kissed her forehead. “Let’s just enjoy each other’s company,” I suggested. I heard her sigh and smiled with satisfaction.

Whether she liked it or not, I would make her fall in love with me before the summer ended. And I’d make her mine forever. If that meant moving to LA with her in the fall, I was okay with that, too. The bar was stressful and I was positive I could find a job in LA without any problems. I shook my head at my thoughts. I hadn’t even told her I loved her yet and I was planning our future together. But I did love her.

I loved her so much my heart ached every time I looked at her pretty green eyes, every time I heard her infectious laughter – she was perfect. If she needed time, I was okay with it, but there was no way I was letting her go again. When she moved to LA, I wished I had the courage to tell her about the way I felt about her then, but it wasn’t meant to be…yet. Once she told me her news, I would tell her how much I loved her, how she was the sun in my life, shining her brightness into the dark recesses of my body and soul.

Rainey curled into me, rubbing her face across my chest.

“How do you always know the right thing to say?” she whispered with a sigh. Her eyes were closed and my grin widened as I rolled my eyes.

“I don’t. But it’s good that you think so,” I replied. Her body rumbled next to mine as she stifled a laugh. We fell asleep, wrapped in each other’s arms.

The next morning, I woke to fins her staring at me.

“Tell me something,” she demanded.

“Anything.”

“When I tell you, do you promise not to freak out?”

I didn’t answer her right away. The seriousness of her tone suggested she was completely serious, and although I had never
freaked out
about anything in my life, I wasn’t so sure I could make that promise.

“Define
freak out.
”

She laughed nervously. “You know, like tell me I’m an idiot or yell at me, or even… Leave me.” She looked somber and I wanted to smother her fears.

“Well I sure as hell won’t
leave
you, Rainey. We have a pretty good thing going, don’t you think?”

“I do. Which is why I’m worried that you’ll leave once you know,” she trailed off, her eyes closing again.

“If you’re dreading it so much, just tell me,” I demanded, angry with myself for already pushing the subject when I told her I wouldn’t. I just couldn’t help myself.

“I
can’t
.” Her voice broke and she pulled away from me, sitting up and wrapping her arms around her knees. She shivered.

“Rainey, you do realize that this isn’t just some damn summer fling for me, right?” I asked, as close as I would get to admitting that I loved her. “I want us to be together for more than just a few weeks in the sunshine.”

She turned to glare at me. “No, Baker. That’s not how this works. We only agreed to a summer fling and I am not about to get caught up in the idea that we could be together for any amount of time, because it’s just not possible!” She got up off the bed and threw on one of my T-shirts. It reached the tops of her thighs, effectively covering her body. When she turned back to me, her eyes were pools of emerald fire.

“Let’s get one thing straight, Chris Baker – I am in control of this relationship. I say when it ends, not you!” she spat. I knew I must look like an idiot, staring at her, slack-jawed and silent, but I had a hard time wrapping my head around her words.

Here I was, deep in love with this woman and she was pushing me away
again
, and there was nothing I could say to derail this tragic train wreck. So I let my anger get the best of me.

“Of course it is, Rainey. You’re wrong on one aspect, though – this isn’t a relationship.” I stalked toward her and she covered her naked body protectively. I put my face close to hers and enunciated every word. “A real relationship doesn’t involve massive amounts of control by one person and forcing the other person to do whatever she wants him to do. I’m not some brainless oaf who you can just push around. You don’t get to just make me fall in love with you and then stomp all over me like a heartless bitch!” I stormed into the bathroom and slammed the door so hard the mirror shook.

I turned on the sink and splashed cold water over my burning face. My pulse raced and I stared at myself in the mirror, noting my left eyelid twitching uncontrollably. My breaths were ragged, my fists clenched at my sides so tight my fingernails bit into my palms. I knew I shouldn’t have gotten into her space. The worst part was, I didn’t have any excuse.

Anger was hardly a new sensation to me, but this fierce possessiveness I felt toward Rainey was novel to me. I was a self-proclaimed perpetual bachelor – when did I turn into some lovesick pup? I might not like it, but I could hardly do anything to control my feelings for her. She was an amazing woman and I was an ass for treating her that way.

With a deep breath, I shut off the running water and opened up the bathroom door, ready to apologize for my behavior.

My bedroom was empty. Even though my gut told me Rainey wasn’t somewhere else in the apartment, I searched the living room and kitchen anyway. She was gone.

Smooth move, Baker. Real smooth.