Broken Wings (Cruel and Beautiful World, Book One 1) (39 page)

"Yoink!" he said, absorbing the waitress's information.

"Oh, Ruby, he's so adorable. I could just put him in my pocket."

"You seem a lot gayer tonight," said Xander, grabbing a shot.

"It's because I've found the new object of my affection," said Bronson, doing the same. "Shall we toast?"

"No," said Xander and Luka, both downing their shots.

Bronson took his slowly. He then slipped another one in front of Luka. "So tell me more about your father."

"He's a fucking ass," said Luka, quickly taking the new shot. "Always has been."

"I see," said Bronson, sliding another one over. "And what makes him so ass-like?"

"He just is. Been a strict follower of the president and his father before him since he was a teenager and he doesn't want anyone to outshine him. Not even his own son." Another shot down.

Xander watched closely as Bronson slipped yet another shot towards Luka. He smirked and took one more for himself.

It wasn't long before Luka's ramblings became incoherent. He closed his eyes and rested his cheek on his hand, beginning to drift off to a state of unconsciousness while Xander and Bronson finished their bottle of wine. But, about three-quarters of the way through, Xander realized he was drinking the bulk of it.

It was only then that he noticed he was a little drunk. "Why aren't you drinking more?" demanded Xander, angry since Deryn refused to have sex with him whenever he was intoxicated.

"Because I don't want to get drunk," answered Bronson. "All I need is a little buzz."

"Why?"

"No reason," he said, grinning widely as he watched Luka catch himself after falling off of his hand.

"Fuck
.
No," said Xander, his eyes flaming. "I don't think so, Bronson."

Bronson shrugged. "I would never do anything without permission first. I'm not a member of the guard."

"Th'fuck yeh talkin' bout?" mumbled Luka, before settling back on his hand and chewing something that clearly wasn't there.

"Nothing, sleepy," said Bronson, poking his cheek affectionately.

Xander shook his head in disapproval. "You're fucking sick."

Bronson just smiled.

Once their bottle was finished, mainly thanks to Xander, they dragged an essentially unconscious Luka towards the door, but he wasn't moving very well.

Bronson eventually had to toss him over his shoulder and carry him outside while Xander went ahead of them to get Luka's bike's passenger car to initiate. It popped out like an inflatable balloon, but still felt like solid metal when touched.

Xander was starting to feel a bit woozy and had to brace himself against the wall while Bronson loaded Luka inside.

"Fuck ..." said Xander, falling to a crouching position. "I can't lead you right now."

"Why not?" asked Bronson. "Too eager to go back and have sex with Der -" He caught himself, stared at Luka moaning in the passenger car and gulped. "Your pseudo-girlfriend?"

"My what?" asked Xander, crinkling his nose.

"Who th'fuck yeh fuckin'?" asked Luka, popping up suddenly. "He fuckin' say Der?"

"No," said Xander, reaching in and pushing him back down. His head started to spin again, so he brought his hand up to brace it. "I feel sick. I can't even drive to my place."

"No worries. I got it!" said Bronson, gladly pushing Xander out of the way and mounting Luka's bike.

"Fuck. No."

"Why not?" he whined.

"Well, if we completely overlook the fact that I don't trust you -" Xander gulped. He needed to get out of here soon. "- it's also too dangerous. He lives in Inner City with his father and -"

"My father's not -"
Hiccup
! "- fuckin' 'round. He and Veli-fucker are doin' some shit out -"
Hiccup
! "- out -"
Hiccup
! "- side."

"What are they doing out there?" asked Xander, suddenly feeling a lot more sober. Then the next wave of nausea hit.

"Dun-fuckin-no. Who yeh talkin' bout before?"

"No one," said Xander firmly.

"It's settled then!" said Bronson, putting on Luka's helmet. "Don't you worry about a thing, Ruby. Take a car home and I'll come back for your bike. Just give me money for my own car to get back here. Gotta make that curfew." He held out his arm.

Xander grunted but touched his wristband to Bronson's all the same, pressing a few things on the screen that appeared to transfer the money over. Then he switched over Bronson's chip to Luka's bike.

"Park it in the lot near the gate to Inner City. Once through walk left and his house is only two blocks away. Here's the address," said Xander, touching their wristbands once more, his thoughts giving him the address.

"Don't you worry, Ruby. I'll make sure to take great care of your friend." Bronson winked and rode off, Luka fast asleep and with his mouth hanging open in the passenger car beside him.

Xander had just enough time to run inside and make it to the bathroom before he was vomiting vigorously into the toilet. He waited a bit and got it all out before cleaning himself off. Then he ran to a nearby store and bought a toothbrush and toothpaste, getting rid of all traces of his vomit before flagging down a car and heading home. At least since they were so expensive, it was never hard to find one.

When he got there, he stumbled to his room and collapsed on the bed, more than a little disappointed to find it empty. It was another minute before Deryn's door opened and she appeared in his doorway, a blanket wrapped around her shoulders.

"You're drunk."

"No shit," said Xander, holding out his arms.

Deryn walked over to the bed and let Xander pull her into him. She nuzzled into the crook of his arm, letting his warm body consume her.

The two of them were silent for a long while and Deryn assumed Xander had fallen asleep. But then he turned his head and, when she looked up, he was staring right at her.

"Why are you never in my bed when I get home?"

"What?"

"On nights I go out, when I get home you're always in your bed, but you've been sleeping in mine for weeks now. Why aren't you just here?"

"Oh, I ... I don't know."

"Is it because you think I might come home with someone else?"

Deryn looked away and blushed. She hadn't realized it before, but something in her gut told her he was right. This was exactly what she thought.

"Because I wouldn't ..." He gulped. "I wouldn't do that to you. Not after everything you've been through."

Deryn frowned. "You've already brought one girl back here to spite me. What's to stop you from doing it again?"

Xander's throat ached as she looked at him once more. "That was a mistake. I don't ... I mean, I'm not ..." He sighed. "I'm not good at this, Deryn, but I like you, and I want you to be here." There. He admitted it.

Deryn's heart skipped a beat.

"There isn't going to be anyone else. Be here."

"I guess I can make a point to -"

"No," he said, shaking his head. "Not good enough. Move in here."

Her eyes widened. "What?"

"Get all of your shit from the guestroom and move it in here. The clothes, the books, the damn chocolate bar. All of it. I want it here. I want
you
here."

"Xander, that's crazy."

"So? It all is, isn't it?"

Deryn released a heavy sigh. "You're drunk."

"That has nothing to do with -"

"I'll tell you what. Ask me again in the morning when you're sober. If you remember to do that and you still feel the same way then I'll do it."

"You will?" he asked hopefully.

She gave him a faint smile and nodded. "If it's really what you want then yes."

Xander frowned. "No. It's not just about what I want. What do you want, Deryn?"

She sighed again and brought her hand to his cheek, running her thumb along his soft skin. "I want you," she said simply, truthfully.

Xander leaned in and kissed her then. Softly. Sweetly. Gently massaging her lips with his, making her heart race and her palms sweat.

"Don't ever leave me," he breathed into her mouth before reclaiming it with his.

Deryn didn't answer, her chest feeling heavy as he continued to kiss her. She knew this was wrong, but she couldn't stop herself. Xander had become too special to her, too significant. She didn't want to leave him but, at the same time, she knew she couldn't stay here forever. It had already been three months. Three incredible months that she wouldn't trade for anything. But, someday soon, it would be time for her to go and she would have to leave Xander behind. All of him. It was the only way she was going to survive this.

When their kiss finally ended, Xander closed his eyes and pressed his forehead against hers. Deryn kept her eyes open, watching him closely as tears built behind them.

"I'm going to make some tea," she said. "Would you like some?"

He nodded.

Deryn gave him one last kiss before reluctantly climbing out of his arms. She went into the kitchen for a moment and just stood there, bringing her hand to her mouth and trying to hold in the sobs. She knew getting involved with Xander was a mistake, but she had done it anyway. Because she was selfish. Because she wanted something that was hers. Because she wanted
someone
that was hers.

Deryn's eyes drifted over to Atticus's covered figure in the photo on the bookshelf. She still hadn't told him about his father. But how could she now? Despite everything, she didn't want to lose him. And if he knew the truth nothing would ever be the same. Xander would never look at her the same.

Sucking back all of her feelings for yet another night, Deryn went to work on making that tea. Just as she was finishing, the lock on the front door clicked and she ducked behind the counter, mugs in hand.

The door opened and she heard someone humming. She smiled and stood back up.

"You're in bright spirits," she said, looking at Bronson. "Any particular reason?"

"Nope," he said with a wink.

"Don't tell me you and Luka -"

Bronson rolled his eyes. "Please. I was there for maybe ten minutes before I had to get back here for curfew. Did Ruby tell you I was going to molest him or something?"

"No." She smiled wider. "It was just an observation from earlier. Thin walls, you know?"

"Well, I can assure you I didn't. Anything that might've happened in those ten minutes was completely consensual."

"What does that -"

"This is for Ruby," said Bronson, handing her a small computer chip. "I figured he wouldn't want to keep it in his bike. Night, Deryn." He winked one last time before heading out the door.

Deryn put the chip in her pocket. She went back to Xander's room, tea in hand. When she got there, he was lying with his back to her. She walked over and saw that he was asleep.

After putting the mugs of tea on the nightstand, Deryn crouched beside the bed and gazed at him, unable to stop herself from reaching out and moving some stray hairs from his eyes. She kissed him softly and climbed in beside him, pulling the comforter over them and wrapping her arms around his back, surprisingly happy to be the big spoon for once.

The next morning, Deryn was awoken with a kiss. She barely had time to open her eyes before Xander was picking her up and carrying her to his shower. They joked around while he lathered her up with her floral soap, not once mentioning their conversation from the night before.

Even as he picked her up and had her against the shower wall, Deryn's mind was never far from his request, both anticipating and dreading that he would ask again.

While Xander got ready to leave, Deryn put on her robe and slippers, and made him breakfast. He pulled her onto his lap as he ate, giving her a kiss on her cheek, her nose, her lips between almost every bite.

And then it was time for him to leave. Deryn cleaned up while he headed for the door, stopping beside the couch.

"Deryn, come here," he said suddenly.

Deryn put down the dishes she was holding and walked over. Xander pulled her close and kissed her affectionately.

When he pulled away, he looked at her with his golden eyes. "I meant what I said last night. I want you and all of your things in my room today when I get back."

"O-okay." Her body quivered.

"You may have to do some rearranging in the dresser, but take whatever space you need. Just keep our underwear separate. I hate it when people share a drawer for underwear."

Deryn smiled and nodded.

Xander gave her one last kiss before leaving.

Deryn brought her thumb to her mouth and bit down on it, staring hypnotically at the door for a long while, a faint smile still visible on her lips.

This was a mistake. She knew it was. Everything inside of Deryn told her that she would regret this later, that no good could come from her moving into his bedroom. But then why could she not stop smiling?