Broken World (Book 6): Forgotten World (22 page)

“What was your daughter’s name again?” Ginny asks, lifting her green eyes from the baby.

“Emily,” I whisper. “Having her was life-altering. It showed me how strong I was and proved that I could make it through even the most painful things. It taught me to strive for something bigger in life. It led me to Axl when this virus hit, which took me across the country and to the shelter. Gave me a new family and a fresh start. Because of Emily, I learned what love really is and that there are people in this world who really care about others. I never had any of that growing up. If I’d stayed where I was, I would have been stuck in that life forever. Until the day I ran out on my dad, I couldn’t see a real future for myself. All I saw was me living in the trailer park. Settling for a man who treated me like shit simply because that was all I knew and the only thing that seemed normal.”

“You are the strongest person I’ve ever met,” Ginny says.

I turn to face her, realizing for the first time that I’m staring at the wall. Too lost in my own thoughts to know what I was looking at or where I was or even who was sitting next to me. Ginny smiles, but tears shimmer in her eyes, and the sight of them takes my breath away. We’ve all been through so much that sometimes the weight of it feels like it’s going to crush the entire Earth, trapping us in this hell forever.

“You’re just as strong,” I say, taking her free hand.

“I don’t know about that. If Megan had died, I wouldn’t be sitting here. I’d already made up my mind, and I don’t think anyone or anything could have changed it.”

“What?” I ask, shaking my head in disbelief.

“Jon was the only thing keeping me anchored to the ground for so long, and the thought of facing our baby’s death alone or going on without him… It just hurt too much. I’m tired of hurting. Tired of hating life and myself and wanting to punch the mirror every time I look in and see Hadley Lucas staring back at me. Because I can change my name and I can tell everyone I’m just Ginny Lewis from Ohio, but it doesn’t change the past and it never will.” She looks down at the tiny bundle cradled in her arms. “If she’d died, I would be dead, too. I would have made sure of it.”

“Ginny, I—” I shake my head again because I don’t have a clue what to say, and her words terrify me. Right now Megan seems fine, but all that could change in the blink of an eye, and then Ginny would be gone, too. “Please don’t say that.”

“It’s okay,” she says, looking up. “I think I can make it now. I didn’t know how it would feel once she was born, but now that she’s here, I know it’s
right
. She’s mine and Jon was her father, and one day when she’s old enough, I’ll be able to tell her about the man who saved me in every way imaginable. And she’ll be proud of where she came from.”

“I’m so sorry for all the things you went through,” I say, taking her hand again. Squeezing it between mine and wishing more than anything that I could go back and change what happened to her. Of all the things we’ve gone through, Ginny’s pain is my biggest regret.

She rolls her eyes, but she’s still smiling when she says, “You and Axl suffer from the same delusion: that you can somehow control everything that happens. You can’t and we all know that, and when something goes wrong we don’t blame you two.”

I laugh and swipe my hand across my face when a tear slides down my cheek. “That doesn’t stop me from thinking I could have done more or been more. That I
should
have been able to figure out a way to make things turn out better.”

Megan lets out a little gurgle before unlatching from her mother’s breast. I watch as Ginny switches sides, the movement looking totally natural even though she’s a new mother. Almost like it was meant to be.

“None of that matters now,” Ginny says, staring down at her daughter. “Because we are exactly where we are meant to be, and I suddenly have this faith I haven’t had in a really long time. I believe we will get out of this house. That these zombies won’t get us and that Atlanta is just a few short days away.”

I give her hand another squeeze. “We’ll make it happen. I don’t know how, but we will, because dying here isn’t an option.”

19

“VIVIAN.”

A hand shakes me awake. I open my eyes, and the room is so bright that I have to cover my face with my arm. When I roll over, Axl is hovering over me.

“What?” I mumble, blinking as I try to clear the sleep from my foggy eyes and brain.

“Hadley’s got a fever.”

I’m sitting up before the words have really sunk in. My blonde hair tumbles across my face, and I push it out of the way so I can focus on Axl’s gray eyes.

“What? What’s wrong?”

“Don’t know. Joshua’s with her, but she wanted me to get you.”

“Shit,” I mutter, sliding out of the bed and hurrying from the room.

Three days we’ve been stuck here, and with each passing hour, the walls seem to close in on us more and more. We want to move, but between Ginny and the zombies surrounding us, we haven’t been able to come up with a plan. Megan, thankfully, has been doing well, and until now, so has Ginny. She even went downstairs for a little bit yesterday. She was tired, but that’s normal. At least I thought so.

“Ginny,” I gasp when I rush to her side. “What’s going on?”

Beads of sweat dot her face, clinging to her brow. The pink of her cheeks is more prominent than ever before, but her arms—wrapped around her sleeping baby—are covered in goose bumps.

“Fever,” Joshua says. “And her bleeding has gotten worse, not better. She’s passed some clots, which is bad.” He swallows, and the pain in his eyes tells me who he believes is at fault for the current situation.

Axl and I aren’t the only ones who take way too much blame for the things that are out of our control.

I lower myself to the bed and take Ginny’s hand, holding it between mine. “Are you okay?”

“Cramping. Freezing. Nauseated.” She shakes her head, but it’s slow and labored. “I haven’t felt great since Megan was born. Really tired and weak. And the pain has been so bad. When I woke up today it was so much worse, though.”

“What is it?” I ask, turning to Joshua.

“I don’t know for sure.” He lets out a deep sigh. “Possibly a retained placenta, but it could just be an infection. You heard Atlanta. This virus has changed things. Made infections stronger.”

Retained placenta. I’m not sure what it is, but it can’t be good.

“What’s a retained placenta?”

“Sometimes the placenta breaks apart and a piece is left in the uterus. It would explain the excessive bleeding and the clots, but…” He sinks his teeth into his bottom lip and looks away.

“What?” I snap.

Joshua’s eyes meet mine, and I can see the answer before he’s had a chance to say it. “If that’s what it is, there’s literally nothing I can do about it. I don’t have the ability to do a D&C.”

“I’m going to die,” Ginny mumbles, but she doesn’t sound like this is the first time she’s heard it. They must have talked about it before Axl came to get me.

“No,” I say, shaking my head. “That can’t be it. It has to be an infection or something, which means all we have to do is find some antibiotics.”

Joshua raises his eyebrows, and I know what he’s thinking: I might as well be asking for a pot of gold.

“Even if that were true, we didn’t bring any antibiotics with us, and there are none in the house. We already checked. Plus, with the way things are now, I’m not totally convinced they would work. We need the new stuff the CDC created.”

I get to my feet and cross the room while I think. “There has to be a way,” I hiss, but I’m not sure if I’m talking to Joshua or myself, or maybe even to God.

“There isn’t,” Ginny says firmly, drawing my attention her way. Even though tears slide down her cheeks, she holds her head high. “You need to take care of Megan.” She pauses and looks down at her sleeping daughter before bringing her tear-filled eyes up to meet mine again. “Understand? You and Axl. You are her parents now.”

The full impact of what is about to happen hits me, and that feeling of uselessness comes back. Only it’s so much worse than it’s ever been before. I’ve never in my life felt as powerless as I do now.

A pain moves across my chest that I can only imagine is yet another crack in my heart, and just like that, I start to sob. There are so many pieces inside me now, and each one has someone’s name permanently etched on it. Emily. Trey. Jess. Winston. Darla. Jon. All of them took a piece of me with them when they died, and now Ginny is going to take even more. How the hell am I supposed to keep going when I feel like my insides are held together with Band-Aids?

I move over to kneel at her side, grabbing her hand between mine. “Nothing’s going to happen to you,” I say through the tears.

“Vivian.” Ginny’s voice is firm. Not even a tremor in it.

I force myself to look up. To meet her gaze and pay attention even though every inch of me hurts. “I’m listening.”

“You have to promise you’ll be stronger than you’ve ever been. For Jon. For me. For Megan.”

Tears slide down my cheeks in a constant stream, but I don’t wipe them away. “I promise. I’ll take care of her. Love her and keep her safe. Make sure she grows up protected. And one day when she’s older, I’ll tell her all about the mother and father who made her and how much they loved each other and how much they loved her.”

“Good,” Ginny whispers, her bottom lip trembling. “That’s all I wanted to hear. Now I can die and know it’s going to be okay.”

Fresh tears stream down my cheeks, but I don’t argue this time. Joshua sits at the foot of the bed, staring at his hands like they’re covered in Ginny’s blood. He’ll blame himself for the rest of his life, but this isn’t his fault. This is something that is totally out of his control.

Maybe Ginny should have stayed in Hope Springs. Jon would still be alive, and Megan would have been okay there. If she were there right now, they could do surgery and save her. We could have seen her again one day, after things had settled down. She could have come to Atlanta with her husband and baby.

But that will never happen now, and none of it is Joshua’s fault.

“Stay with me until the end,” Ginny whispers.

I wipe the tears from my cheeks and nod. “I’m not going anywhere.”

I pull myself up and settle at Ginny’s side. Right next to the arm cradled around little Megan. The baby is sound asleep, and Ginny’s eyes are glued to her peaceful expression. I can’t look away from my friend, though. It’s like my mind is trying to memorize every line of her face. Every twitch of her cheek or tear that fills her eyes. I want to remember her like she is at this moment. How happy she was at the end despite everything she’d been through.

My arm brushes against Ginny’s. Her skin is so hot it feels like it’s burning me. I run my hand across her damp forehead, and it’s like a branding iron against my palm.

“She’s hotter,” I say, shaking my head.

Joshua nods, and Ginny shivers, her teeth chattering despite the heat radiating off her skin. It’s been close to two hours since Axl woke me, and already the rags Joshua has been using to soak up Ginny’s blood have been changed twice. I’ve never seen anything like it. She’s weak, and the couple times she’s tried to sit up have been unsuccessful. She’s fading fast. Faster than I thought she would.

“Take her,” Ginny whispers, trying to hold Megan out to me. “My arms are so tired.”

I scoop the baby up but keep close to her mother’s side. Her eyes never leave her daughter’s face.

“At least she lived,” Ginny says in a gravelly voice. “That’s all I really wanted, anyway.”

I swallow back tears as I bounce the sleeping baby. “I’ll make sure she’s always safe.”

Behind me, someone walks into the room, but I don’t look away from Ginny until Angus has stopped at my side. Her eyes move away from her daughter just long enough to see who it is.

“Did you come to say goodbye?” she whispers, giving him a weak smile.

He sniffs as he kneels at her side. “Can’t let you slip outta here without givin’ you some shit.”

I move to give Angus more room, and even though I don’t go far, Ginny gives me a panicked look.

“I’m right here,” I say gently, almost like I’m trying to soothe a frightened child. “I’m not going anywhere.”

Ginny nods and looks back at Angus, forcing out a smile that is strained and painful. “I never thanked you,” she whispers. “For that day at the Monte Carlo. I couldn’t have asked for more compassion. It took me so much by surprise that I didn’t know how to react. You’re a good man.”

Angus swallows but tries to shrug her words off. “You thanked me in your own way. After that, you never treated me like the asshole I am. That meant somethin’.”

“Was,” Ginny whispers. “You’re not an asshole anymore.”

Angus nods but looks away. Pressing his lips together like he’s trying to trap something inside. After a second, he says, “Don’t you worry ‘bout your kid. We’ll get her to Atlanta. I promise. Gonna miss you, Hollywood. You never take any of my shit.”

Ginny pats Angus’s hand, but neither one says anything else. After a few seconds, he stands. Before he heads out, Angus pauses just long enough to plant a kiss on Ginny’s forehead.

Beneath Ginny, the sheets are now soaked with her blood.

Axl walks into the room, and Joshua covers Ginny like he’s trying to hide how much blood there is, but the image will be in my mind forever.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Ginny whispers, her voice more strained than ever. “I needed to say I’m sorry.”

“Nothin’ to be sorry ‘bout,” Axl says.

“She’s yours now.” Ginny looks toward Megan and me, but she doesn’t turn her head. Only her eyes. As if moving more would be too much effort for her. “I know you’ll be a good dad. That’s why I acted the way I did. Because you’re so good.”

Axl nods, then shakes his head, clearing his throat before saying, “Not sure what to say.”

“Just say goodbye,” I whisper through my tears.

“Goodbye.” Axl steps forward, and just like Angus, he kisses Ginny on the head. As he pulls back he says, “We’ll keep her safe.”

Axl slips from the room, and I turn, waiting for Parv or Jim to come in. When no one does, I go back to sitting on the edge of the bed.

Joshua is still at Ginny’s feet, totally silent and utterly tortured by what is about to happen.

“Let me hold her,” Ginny whispers.

She tries to lift her arms, but she’s so weak they don’t get far. It doesn’t matter. I’m at her side, and I lay Megan next to her mother. Right in the crook of her arm but still on the bed so Ginny doesn’t have to exert any effort. She doesn’t have the strength at this point, and I know she wouldn’t want to risk hurting the little thing.

“Hey,” Ginny whispers, smiling when the baby shifts and yawns. “I’m leaving soon, but before I go, I wanted to tell you how much I love you. You were worth it. All the shit—crap—I went through doesn’t seem to matter now that you’re here. Your daddy loved you too, even if he didn’t get to meet you.”

The baby lets out a little cry, and Ginny gently bounces her, whispering soothing words until her daughter quiets once again.

Then she lets out big sigh and closes her eyes. “I don’t feel like I have the energy to even hold my head up.”

Her voice is so quiet I have to lean forward. My gaze moves over her frame, watching the rise and fall of her chest that seems to get shallower with each passing moment. The sheets Joshua laid over her only a few minutes ago are now stained red. There isn’t much time left.

“It’s okay,” I say, rubbing the arm wrapped around her sleeping child. “Just relax.”

On the other side of the bed, Joshua shifts until his head is in his hands.

“I’m so sleepy,” Ginny says, trying to open her eyes.

“Just go to sleep.”

She nods slowly, then lets out another shallow breath. I wait for her to inhale yet again, but nothing happens. Joshua moves his hand from his head to her wrist, and I hold my own breath while I wait. It only takes a second for him to stand.

“She’s gone,” he says, then turns and walks from the room.

Tears fall from my eyes, and I don’t even try to hold them back. Ginny’s with Jon now, and even though I know she’d rather be here with her daughter, I can’t help thinking that all her suffering is finally over for good. She doesn’t have to worry about painful memories trying to rip her apart anymore or a zombie taking a bite out of her. All the struggles of this new world are forgotten now, and there’s a part of me, although very small, that’s jealous.