Authors: Suzanne Corso
“I love it,” I said.
Richie sat back and nodded toward the rock above Dara's cleavage. “Just the start of your collection,” he said to me, “if you're good to âim.”
“She's good, period,” Janice chimed in.
Vin eyed me up and down. “I'll bet she is,” he said. I blushed, shifted in my seat, and then searched the room for Tony. I was glad when I saw that he was on his way back to the table. As he edged along the dance floor, a blond and brunette who were wriggling together reached out and pulled him onto the dance floor. My eyes widened and the Bee Gees reverberated in my ears:
What you doing on your back, aah,
What you doing on your back, aah,
You should be dancing, yeah
Dancing, yeah
Tony's hands pumped the air and his eyes never left the two young girls with tight bodies. Spotlights reflected off his teeth, which were exposed in a perpetual smile, as the girls pawed his open shirt. I shifted in my seat again, looked away, and caught Janice staring at me. I lowered my head, reached for my flute, and gulped some champagne until the song ended.
“Everythin' come out okay?” Vin cracked when Tony sat down at our table. I returned my gaze to the dance floor.
Tony grinned from ear to ear, beads of perspiration on his forehead. “Almost,” he said.
“I've got to go to the ladies' room,” I blurted as I slid my chair back.
Janice jumped up. “I'll go with you,” she said, and came around the table to join me as I headed into the crowd.
“What the fuck was that?!” I blurted when the bathroom door closed behind us. The thump of the music and muffled lyrics provided a backdrop. “Geez,” I said as I thrust my hair back with my fingers.
“Ignore him,” Janice said. “It's all part of their bullshit.”
“How can you say that?”
Janice grabbed my shoulders. “It's jus' them bein' macho, Sam. You'll get useta it.”
“I'm not sure I ever will,” I replied. “Or want to, for that matter.”
Janice's hand moved to my wrist and she elevated it in front of my face. “Listen,” she said. “It's you who he buys stuff for, and you who's goin' home with him. That's what matters.”
I had definitive ideas about what mattered, but it was neither the time nor the place to go into them. “If you say so,” I said.
“Good. Now let's go back out there and act like nothin's wrong.”
We went back to the table and sat down. The guys didn't acknowledge our return as they kept up their animated conversation. Dara said nothing and she continued chewing gum as her head swiveled, seemingly bored with everything.
A few songs later, Tony grabbed my arm. “We gotta go,” he said, and then we stood up. “Seeya around,” Tony said to Vin and Richie, and then we weaved our way through the crowd again to the exit.
“Didya have a good time?” Tony asked as we pulled away.
“I guess,” I said with a low voice.
Tony looked over at me and then at the road ahead. “Whatsa matter?” he asked. “It was fun, wasn't it?”
“I wanted to dance with you,” I murmured as I stared through the windshield and wondered where we were headed.
“C'mon, the guys and me wuz jus' gettin' it on.”
“That's not all you were getting on with.”
Tony flicked a hand. “What? That jailbait? That wuz nuttin'.”
“You didn't look like you disapproved,” I said.
“Geez, Sam. What coulda I done? They practically raped me!”
“Sure, Tone.”
He drove for a minute before he broke the heavy silence. “I'm tellin' ya, Sam, it wuz nuttin'.”
Father Rinaldi leapt into my mind. “Just like your case is nothing,” I said.
“Total bullshit,” Tony sputtered, and he turned toward me again. “Besides, that's my bizness, not yours.”
But it would soon be mine, too.
In the week between Christmas and New Year's, Pamela had taken off for a few days to visit her sister upstate, and on Friday night, Philip was out playing poker and Katrina was sleeping over at a friend's house. Tony and I had the Kroon home to ourselves.
We snuggled together on his parents' bed under a Blessed Mother statue that hung on the wall directly above us, and we were at peace in each other's arms, watching
The Maltese Falcon
. I thought Peter Lorre looked soft and timid, especially next to Humphrey Bogart, who made everyone look weak. “I love the old movies, Sam,” Tony said. “Don't you?”
“Sure do,” I lied. I preferred contemporary films, but if I could spend the time cuddling with Tony, I really didn't care what we watched. I thought for a moment about my novel being turned into a movie, and how cool that would be. Someday, I thought ⦠someday.
“Yeah,” Tony said as the movie ended and the credits ran, “they jus' don' make 'em like they useta.”
“You sound like an old man,” I said with a good-natured smile. “You know, the kids today are no good and all the rest of it.”
“Ya think I'm an old man?” Tony asked, twisting my arm
behind me. He wrestled me underneath him and then pinned my arms above my head. I laughed and tried to wriggle away. “Take it back,” he said.
“Uh-uh,” I said, struggling to get loose.
“Man, you're a feisty one,” Tony said, and strengthened his grip. “I said, take it back.”
“No chance.”
“Then pay the price,” he said, easily holding my two hands in his one as he began to sneak his fingers up my short vinyl skirt.
Ripples of excitement charged through my body as I squirmed to get away from him, but truth be told, I wasn't trying all that hard. “Okay, okay,” I acquiesced, “I take it back.”
“Too late,” he said, continuing to push his fingers inside my panties.
“C'mon, Tony,” I said. “That feels good ⦠but I really don't think I'm ready.”
“You're soaking wet, Sam,” he said, focusing on touching me just right. “You're ready, believe me.” He continued to hold my hands over my head as he began licking down the center of my chest. With his free hand, he ripped off my blouse.
“Watch it, Tone,” I said in the midst of my pleasure. “My grandma gave me that. And she can't afford a new one.”
“We'll just hafta buy ya another, then, won't we?” he said as he rolled on top of me, parting my legs with his knee. “Sam, tell me you need me. Right now. Tell me, 'cause I need ya so bad, baby!” He pulled my bra down, grabbed my nipple with his thumb and index finger, and squeezed.
“Ooooh,” I moaned in response. Tony relaxed his grip on my hands as his tongue traced an areola. I had never felt such burning pleasure in all my life, both on my breasts and between my legs. When he bit my nipple, I pulled his head away from my chest. “Ow!” I said. “That hurt.”
“I didn't mean ta hurt ya, Sam,” he moaned in my ear.
Sweat had formed on his forehead and temples. This time it's for me, I thought. “It's jus' that ya get me so hot, I lose it.” Tony lowered his head and nibbled at my breasts gently. I threw my head back, moaned again, and wondered about the huge bulge in his pants. I wanted to touch it, but I was just so afraid that if I did, there would be no going back, and I still wasn't sure I was ready.
Tony stared into my eyes as if to hypnotize me. Then he took off my skirt and pulled down my panties. I arched my back instinctively as Tony's fingers took control, playing me like a finely tuned piano that put sound to the way I was reeling. I had never felt anything like it, and then he stopped. Panting, and groggy as if awakening from a dream, I looked at Tony, whose eyes were fixated between my legs.
Self-conscious, I giggled. “So how's the view?”
“Don' make fun, Sam.” He ripped off his jeans to reveal his throbbing penis. My eyes opened wide. It was bigger than I had ever imagined one to be. It looked strange, but I had never seen one before so I guessed it was normal. “Meet my best friend, Sam,” Tony said with a twisted grin. “I know he's big but don' worry. He really likes you.” More than his mother does, I thought as Tony stroked my thighs. It didn't seem to matter where he touched me; I felt it all in the soft, wet tissue between my legs. I sank into the pillow and closed my wondering eyes. I couldn't think anymore.
Tony spread my legs wider with his elbows and kneaded my bottom cheeks with his powerful hands while he brought me to a shuddering climax with his tongue. The giant between his legs seemed to have grown, if that was possible, and just as I was about to speak Tony placed the tip of his erection against my softest place.
My eyes popped open and I saw the Blessed Mother above me. I didn't know if what I was doing then was right and that frightened me. I inhaled sharply and felt a staggering pressure
at my vagina, which opened to receive a man's lust for the first time. I knew then that I wasn't dreaming. The pain was so intense I thought I might pass out, but the pleasure that accompanied it soon after made me ache for more, an ache I knew would find its way onto the page. It was all so complicated to understand.
I shortened my breaths and tried to accommodate his size as Tony began to thrust with everything he had in him. I felt as though I were in a car that was racing at full speed and couldn't stop. I didn't know if I could take any more pain and pleasure, but I held on and he let out a moan so deep and demanding that I surged my hips forward to meet his passion. He threw his arms around me as we rocked back and forth together, sounds coming out of both of us the likes of which I had never heard before. And then the car crashed at last when Tony climaxed inside of me.
It was over so, so fast that I asked myself why there was such a big fuss about it. I had thought it would last a lot longer; that's what Janice had told me. There was this big buildup to it, which was better than the actual intercourse, I thought. Tony slumped his entire weight on me and I tried to inhale. “I can't breathe, Tony,” I said. He propped himself on his arms. “You'll get used to it. You're lucky I don' weigh as much as Richie. Janice has some damned thick thighs ta support him, though, huh?” Tony slid off of me and turned over on his back.
“You shouldn't be talkin' about Janice like that,” I said. “She's my best friend and she's really trying to lose some weight.”
“Right,” said Tony. He stared at my nakedness. “Go to the bathroom, Sam,” he said, “and bring back some toilet paper.”
“Why?”
“Jesus Christ, just do it,” he said. “And come right back. Don't even pee.” I shook my head and got out of bed. My eye caught the Blessed Mother again above the bed and it seemed She was staring at me. I got a weird feeling in my stomach as I
went into the bathroom, and then I stopped for a moment to stare into the mirror. I was not a virgin anymore. Did it show on my face? I wondered.
“What the hell are ya doin'?” Tony asked after less than a minute.
“I'll be right there,” I called out, and wondered what the hell he wanted as I brought a long strand of toilet paper to the bedside. “What do you want me to do with this?” I asked. “Wear it on my head?”
“Wipe yourself down there,” he directed, “and show it to me.”
“What the hell is the matter with you, Tone?”
“Just do it,” he said.
I exhaled and swiped the toilet paper across my swollen vaginal lips. I winced and closed my eyes for a moment. When I brought the tissue back up and we looked at it, I was shocked to find blood on the paper. I was alarmed, but I was even more shocked when Tony smiled. “Okay,” he said. “Good.”
“What do you mean âgood'?” I asked. “I'm bleeding.”
Tony laughed. “It's just your cherry, dummy. It was supposeta break. I swear to God, if you'd been lyin' to me, I don' know what I woulda done.” I fumed as I stared at him, naked, my vagina still burning as the Blessed Mother still looked down at me. “What's wrong now?” Tony asked as he got up, tied a towel around his waist, and strutted toward the bathroom.
“I can't believe you thought I was lying to you,” I said. “I feel humiliated.”
“Jus' try ta stay mad,” he said as he closed the bathroom door. I had a bitter taste in my mouth but decided to let it go. Now that he knew he was my first, I thought, maybe he'd become more manageable. I slumped onto the bed and pulled the covers over me.
When Tony had finished in the bathroom, he raised the sheet and slid in next to me. He touched between my legs again and I cried out. “It hurts down there, Tony,” I said.
“That's 'cause I'm built like a horse,” he said. “Ask anyone. But don' worry, you'll get useta it.” He leaned toward me and inhaled. “I swear to God, ya smell so good. I never thought a girl could get to me like this.” He kissed me on the back of the hand and got back on top of me. I didn't want to do it, but he forced himself on me. I felt like I was being raped, but I didn't want to disappoint him. It hurt so much, I hated it, I truly did. How could I love him so but hate having him inside me?