Brothers In Law (17 page)

 

In due course the conspiracy case came on for trial at the Old Bailey. It was likely to take a fortnight or three weeks and in consequence to interfere a good deal with Mr Grimes' other work. Roger had considerable qualms. He felt sure he would be left to do part of it. Peter, on the other hand, would have been delighted to be left with it. It was his ambition to stand up at the Old Bailey and say something, and he had the doubtful advantage that he would never realize how badly he had said it. He said to Roger that, if Grimeyboy went away in the middle, he thought that, as he was senior to Roger, he ought to have the chance of taking over before him.

‘Of course,' said Roger and hoped that was how it would be.

‘Since you came here,' said Peter, ‘he hardly ever seems to use me. I don't think he likes me somehow.'

I wonder if that is it, thought Roger, or if I really am better. It was an interesting day for Roger when he went for the first time to the Old Bailey. He was surprised at the smallness of the Courts. But the solemnity was there all right. He tried to visualize the murderers and other criminals who had stood in the dock. This was the Court in which, Henry had told him, five blackmailers had once stood to receive their sentences from the then Lord Chief Justice. The Lord Chief Justice awarded the first man he sentenced eight years penal servitude (as it was then called), the second ten years, the third twelve. It must have been obvious to the fifth man, the ringleader, what the judge was working up to, and slowly and methodically he worked up to it.

‘And as this is the worst case of its kind I have ever tried,' he began in sentencing the ringleader, ‘the sentence of the Court is that you be kept in penal servitude for life.'

‘I'm told,' Henry had said, ‘that it was an artistic, though not a pleasant performance.'

This, too, was the Court where the man who was said to have been a sort of Jekyll and Hyde had stood to receive his sentence.

‘Counsel has argued eloquently on your behalf,' said the judge, ‘that you are really two people, one very good and the other very bad. As to that, all I can say is that both of you must go to prison.'

Roger would have been spared some unnecessary worry if he had known that Mr Grimes had given his personal undertaking to be present the whole time throughout the case, and Alec had charged a fee to compensate for the results of complying with such an undertaking. Mr Grimes was there all the time, and Roger had the advantage of seeing him hold innumerable conferences on other matters with solicitors and managing clerks in the corridors of the Old Bailey. In the middle of a case involving theft of machinery, he discussed among other things a libel action brought by a politician, a claim for damages for being caught up in a sausage machine, an action by a householder against his next-door neighbour for nuisance by barking dogs, a claim for breach of contract on the sale of fertilizers, an action for breach of promise, some bankruptcy proceedings, an appeal to the Privy Council and a host of other things. A temperamental recording machine which decided not to record from time to time would have produced some surprising results if it had been placed by the side of Mr Grimes eating a sandwich on a bench in the Old Bailey, while client after client came and told his tale of woe, received expert advice and went away rejoicing. And Mr Grimes never put a foot wrong. A lesser man might have confused one case with another. But not he. Mr Grimes treated each client as though he were his only client and as though his case were his only case.

‘Yes, my dear fellow. Don't ye worry, my dear fellow, that's quite all right. Just write and tell them the tale, my dear fellow. Goodbye, bye, bye.'

‘Dear, dear, dear. You don't say, my dear fellow, dear, dear, dear, you don't say. Well, we'll soon put a stop to those goings on. Ye wait, my dear fellow, ye'll see. It'll be quite all right, quite all right. Goodbye, bye, bye.' And so on and so on, punctuated by bites of sandwich. Do this, don't do that, try for this but take that if necessary, apply to the judge, go to the Master, issue a writ, pay into Court, appeal, don't appeal, it's a toss up, my dear fellow, we can but try; dear, dear, dear, they will do these things, my dear fellow, they will do these things.

And so back into Court, stomach full of ill-bitten, undigested sandwich, head, Roger would have thought, full of dogs, sausages and fertilizers – but not at all. Mr Grimes examined a difficult witness as though he had been doing nothing else but think about his evidence. Roger was astonished at the number of watertight compartments there must be in a busy barrister's mind. But then, I suppose, he said to himself, it's exactly the same with everyone's job. I don't imagine a surgeon often takes out the wrong part because he's confused two cases or that a doctor, visiting a case of measles, enquires about the big toe, which belongs next door.

The case went on day after day. Roger took voluminous notes, Peter took a few, and from time to time when he found that his services were not going to be required, wandered into the other Courts where something more interesting might be happening. Once while Peter was away, the judge said: ‘Excuse me a moment, Mr Grimes. A prisoner wants a dock defence.'

‘Put up Arthur Green,' said the clerk and Mr Green was brought up into the dock.

‘You may choose whom you wish,' said the judge.

‘That one, please, my Lord,' said Mr Green, and pointed to Mr Grimes.

‘I'm afraid Mr Grimes is engaged on a case,' said the judge.

‘I thought you said I could choose whom I wish, my Lord,' said Mr Green. ‘I want him.'

‘I'm sorry,' said the judge. ‘Mr Grimes can't be in two Courts at once.'

‘I don't want him in two Courts at once, my Lord,' said Mr Green. ‘Just in mine.'

‘Now, don't waste time,' said the judge. ‘You can't have him, though no doubt Mr Grimes is suitably flattered. Now, choose someone else.'

‘Oh, well, I'll have him,' and Mr Green pointed to counsel defending the chief conspirator.

‘I'm sorry,' said the judge. ‘He's engaged too.'

‘I thought you said–' began the man.

‘I know, I know,' said the judge. ‘But you can't have someone who's engaged on a case.'

‘How am I to know who's engaged on a case and who isn't, my Lord? Perhaps you could ask the gentlemen who aren't for hire to cover up their flags, my Lord.'

‘Now, don't be impertinent,' said the judge quite genially. ‘I'm sorry about this. Perhaps those members of the Bar who are not engaged in the case would be good enough to stand up.'

Three old, three middle-aged and three young men sprang to their feet with alacrity. This was a race in which youth had no advantage over age. Indeed a middle-aged man was first, though he ricked his back in the process. Roger remained seated.

‘Get up, my dear fellow,' said Mr Grimes. ‘Ye never know. Good experience for ye.'

So Roger got up a little time after the others, just as Mr Green had come to much the same conclusion as the old lag in Henry's story. The apparent reluctance which Roger had to join the race appealed to Mr Green.

‘Him, my Lord, please,' said Mr Green, pointing to Roger.

‘Mr – Mr–' began the judge, and then made a noise, half grunt, half swallow, three consonants and a couple of vowels. It was a work of art and had been cultivated by him over the years. It really sounded like a name and though no one could say what it was, no one could say what it was not. Whether a name began with a vowel or a consonant or a diphthong, the sound made by the judge was not unlike it, and, as he looked hard at its owner during the process, it never failed.

‘Will you undertake this defence, please?' said the judge.

‘If your Lordship pleases.'

Roger wondered what was the next move.

‘Go and see him,' volunteered his next-door neighbour.

‘Now?' asked Roger.

‘Of course.'

‘Where do I see him?'

‘In the cells. Bow to the judge and go into the dock and down the stairs. Quick. The old boy's waiting for you.'

Roger looked up and saw that his informant was right. ‘Don't disturb yourself unduly,' said the judge. ‘This case is going to last for weeks, anyway. What difference does an extra half hour make?'

Roger blushed. ‘I'm so sorry, my Lord,' he said.

The judge gave him a friendly smile.

Roger walked into the dock rather self-consciously and went down the stairs which led from inside it to the cells below. He was shown to a room in which he could interview Mr Green who was promptly brought to him.

‘Afternoon, sir,' said Mr Green.

‘Good afternoon,' said Roger.

‘Funny weather for the time of year,' said Mr Green. ‘Felt like thunder this morning.'

‘Yes, it did,' said Roger.

‘But there,' said Mr Green, ‘they will do these things.'

‘What!' said Roger.

‘He defended me twenty years ago,' said Mr Green. ‘I haven't forgotten. Nearly got me off too. If it hadn't been for the old judge he would have too. Dear, dear, dear. Now we're starting to look back. And that won't do. We must look forward, mustn't we? This your first case?'

‘Not quite,' said Roger.

‘That's all right,' said Mr Green. ‘I'll tell you what to do. It's easy, dead easy. I'd have done it myself but it looks better to have a mouthpiece. Can you sing?' he added.

‘I don't know quite what that's got to do with it,' said Roger.

‘Ah!' said Mr Green knowingly, ‘but you haven't been at it as long as I have. There's a lot of things you don't understand now, aren't there?'

‘Yes,' said Roger. ‘I'm afraid there are.'

‘Well, now that's agreed – can you sing?'

‘No, I can't, as a matter of fact.'

‘Never mind,' said Mr Green. ‘As long as I know one way or the other. Can't take any chances. Forewarned is forearmed. Many a mickle makes a muckle. It's an ill wind and so on and so forth. I'm not keeping you, I hope?'

‘I'm here to defend you,' said Roger. ‘My time's your time. My services, such as they are, are at your disposal.'

‘That's a pretty speech,' said Mr Green. ‘Can you make lots of those?'

Roger did not answer.

‘All right,' said Mr Green. ‘You win. Cut the cackle and come to the hosses. Now, I'll tell you what we'll do. I've got it all laid on.'

‘But what are you charged with?' asked Roger.

‘Oh, that!' said Mr Green scornfully. ‘It's almost an insult. But I suppose it's like everything else these days. Going down. You've only got to deration butter and all the places serve margarine.'

‘I don't understand,' said Roger.

‘Now, look,' said Mr Green. ‘Have you ever seen an indictment before?'

Roger had not and said so. He would have admitted it anyway, but he made the admission a second before he realized that it was a pretty odd system under which a young man who had never seen an indictment could be employed to defend somebody who was charged upon one. Roger had read the charges in Mr Grimes' conspiracy case, but for some reason he had never actually seen the indictment or a copy of it.

‘Well, now, look – this is an indictment – or it's supposed to be.'

He produced a typewritten foolscap document. All over it were pencil remarks made by himself.

‘I call it an impertinence,' went on Mr Green. ‘Do you know that I was once charged on an indictment containing thirty-three counts? Thirty-three. Now that's not bad, eh?'

‘What happened?' asked Roger.

‘Never mind what happened. That's not the point. But it's treating a chap with respect to bring in thirty-three counts. Shows you're frightened you might miss him here and there. Can't afford to take chances with him. I've had twenty-five, twenty and never less than ten or twelve. Oh, yes, I once had seven. And now look at this – I ask you – is it fair? Is it reasonable? I'm not so young as I was, I'm entitled to a bit of respect, aren't I? One count – one solitary, miserable count. They must think I've come down in the world. It hurts. That's what it does. If you've got a nice lot of counts to deal with, you've got something to fight. But this – this – it takes all the stuffing out of a man. I tell you – I had a good mind to plead Guilty and be done with it. One count! Two can play at that game. If they won't do the right thing, why should I? I've never pleaded Guilty in my life, but I tell you, I came as near doing it this time as I ever did. And then I remembered it was Ascot next week. So that wouldn't do. But if it hadn't been, I tell you – I'd have cut the ground from under their feet. Guilty, I should have said. That would have shaken them. There they are – counsel, solicitors, police, witnesses, judge, jury, ushers, flowers, herbs, spectators – everyone – and I say Guilty. I bet the clerk wouldn't have believed it. What was that? he'd have said. I'd have had a game with him. Not Guilty, I should have said. Oh, I thought you said Guilty, he'd have said. Yes, I'd have said, I did. Well, which is it, he'd have said, Guilty or Not Guilty. You choose, I should have said. I hate these parlour games. One of these days a judge will say – they look at TV all right, oh, yes they do, whatever they say – one of these days a judge will say – will the next prisoner sign in, please?'

‘Now, look, Mr Green,' said Roger. ‘I know I'm very new to the Bar, but you're paying me to help you. Hadn't you better tell me about the case? I love to hear your views on these other matters, but after all, if you want to go to Ascot next week the case is more important.'

‘You'll do well, sir,' said Mr Green. ‘You think of essentials. Ascot it is. I've never missed an Ascot yet – except when – well now I'm going back into past history. Dear, dear, dear. Now, let's get down to brass tacks. No beating about the bush. All fair and above board. In for a penny, in for a pound. Who laughs last, laughs loudest. You can't sing, I think you said?'