Brush of Angel's Wings (42 page)

“Over here at the calf pen.”

With his foot propped up on the lower board and his forearms leaning on the top board of the pen, he looked deep in thought.

“Any problems?” She glanced over the rail. The calf had grown into her knobby knees.

“
Nay
, just finished mucking the pen. It's always a good thing to spend time with a calf.”

“The stubborn girl is growing.” Rachel sighed. “I've been too busy and haven't seen much of her lately.”

He turned to face Rachel. “I heard you did a fine job delivering her.”

“Jordan told you that?”

“His boastfulness of your ability was—”

“Nett
Amish.”

“I was going to say honorable.” He patted her shoulder. “There aren't many men who'd risk looking incompetent to praise a woman.”

“Jordan's
nett
incompetent.”

Daed
tipped his head back and guffawed. “
Ach
, I don't believe he is.”

“Then what's so funny?” Not that she wanted to squelch his laughter. Since Sadie's death, he'd kept to himself in the barn.

“I find it interesting you're defending him. I recall a young
maydel
criticizing his milking and plowing ability.”

She gazed at the calf. “
Jah
, when he first arrived, I was angry.”

As
Daed's
face sobered, she braced herself for him to list the scriptures that referenced anger, but he kept silent.

“I apologized to Jordan for my actions. I was jealous he would take the place of James and me in your heart.”

Daed
sighed and slowly shook his head.

“You kept calling him
sohn
.” She clamped her bottom lip.

Daed
put his arm around her shoulder. “Jordan was a lost lamb, looking for where he belonged.” He squeezed her shoulder. “I wasn't replacing James.” He pulled back. “Or you.”

“But you kept dismissing me from
mei
chores.”

He wrapped her in his arms and rested his chin on her head. “I liked you working with me in the barn. You're a hard worker. But I didn't want you to miss out . . . on finding a husband.”

Finding a husband
. She drew in a ragged breath. “I want to talk to you about that.”

He pulled her back to arm's length and cocked his head.

“Have you been in contact with Jordan? You're
nett
jumping the fence to run off with him, are you?”

“Nay.”
She frowned.

He blew out a breath. “He promised
nett
to take you away.”

Rachel looked down and focused on a piece of straw. “You talked with him about that?”

“Jah.”
He lifted her chin. “I wanted him to stay, but if he didn't choose our way, I didn't want him taking you away from us. God has a plan for your life here among us. He has a husband for you.”

Rachel squeezed her eyes shut. She took a deep breath. “Timothy asked me to marry him,” she blurted.

Daed
shifted his stance and leaned against the calf pen railing. “What did you tell him?”

“That I would pray about it and talk with you and
Mamm
.” He stroked his beard. “Are you asking
mei
permission?”

“I don't know what I'm asking,
Daed
. I'm confused.”

“Did you pray about it?” His facial expression remained stonelike, yet warmth filled his eyes.

“
Nett
yet.” Unable to look at him, she focused on the calf. “Do you think it's wrong if I marry Sadie's husband?” She dragged her sleeve across her face to wipe the tears that had fallen. Without giving him time to answer, she blurted, “Timothy doesn't love me, but Ella needs a mother.” Her breath hitched. “Sadie—hasn't been—gone—
Ach, Daed
, you want me to marry, ain't so? And Timothy is a
gut
man.”

Daed
wrapped his arms around her again and patted her back. “You'll know the answer after you pray about it.”

“It's hard to pray when my mind is so busy.”

“It is. But that is when it is most important to listen.” He released her. “I approved of Timothy marrying Sadie; I would give
mei
blessing for you—if that's who God directs you to marry.” He chucked her under the chin and looked into her eyes. “Don't make a decision without waiting for the Lord's reply.”

Rachel knelt on the floor, resting her forehead against the bed. She closed her eyes and waited to calm her mind and shape her thoughts.

“God, I don't know where to begin. Ella needs a mother.” She paused. “I know nothing surprises you, but Timothy's proposal sure took me by surprise.”

Nathaniel eased down beside Rachel. “Talk to God about what troubles your heart. He's listening to your prayers.”

“I cannot believe he wants to marry so soon after you took Sadie home. I guess I understand why. It would be so difficult for a man to raise a little girl alone.” Rachel's heart raced and she opened her eyes, gasping for breath. “I've always admired Timothy . . . I love Ella like she is
mei
own . . . I guess this would make sense.”

“Don't stop praying. Press through, child,” Nathaniel prompted.
“Don't bother,” Tangus said. “You're not going to get an answer.”

She waited for an answer, but none came.
“Aemen.”

Chapter Thirty-One

R
achel studied Timothy's expression as he sipped the sauerkraut soup she'd prepared. He washed it down with a quick gulp of milk.

“You don't like it?”

“I guess I'm
nett
hungry.” He pushed the bowl aside.

“And your sandwich, you don't want that either?” Rachel recalled Sadie saying that a cold meatloaf sandwich and sauerkraut soup was one of his favorite meals.

“I guess not.”

“I know it isn't like Sadie's.” She collected the dishes.

He slid his chair out from the table and crossed the room. “Rachel, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings.”

“I understand. Sadie was a
gut
cook.
Mei
cooking won't ever be like hers.” She turned away from the sink to gather more dishes and he caught her arm.

“I never liked cold meatloaf and I'm
nett
fond of sauerkraut.”

“But Sadie—”

“Thought I liked it, I know.” He looked sheepish. “She worked so hard to please me that I never wanted to hurt her feelings.”

“Sit and I'll make you a peanut butter sandwich before I leave to help Naomi with her final preparations.”

The color drained from his face. “You're leaving already?”

“You'll be fine. I made a list of things you'll need to do for Ella.” She sliced a thick portion of bread.

Ella began to fuss. Rachel continued slicing the bread and ignored Timothy clearing his throat. He needed to take care of his daughter. After a moment, he trudged out of the room, unhappy with her.

“Lord, show me how to build a bridge between those two. Ella needs her
daed
,” she whispered.

When Timothy came for the bottle she'd warmed, he wasn't as rigid holding Ella.

“Relax. Just talk to her.” Rachel handed him the bottle. “If you don't know what to say, quote the Scriptures. She needs to know your voice.”

He stared at the ceiling and blinked several times. “Sadie used to say the
boppli
could hear
mei
voice during our daily readings.”

“She was right. And Ella needs to hear your voice in your daily readings again,” Rachel said softly.

He closed his eyes and Rachel slipped out the door.

“Something's troubling you,” Naomi said.

Rachel continued stitching the dress hem until she felt her arm tugged. Naomi took her sewing from her lap. “
Kumm
to the kitchen and help me with the
kaffi
.”

Rachel hadn't wanted to dampen Naomi's get-together, and now she feared her despondence had done just that.

“I know something's wrong.” Naomi planted her hands on her hips. “Why won't you tell me? I'm your best friend.”

Rachel blew out a breath. “Timothy proposed to me.”

Naomi gasped. “When? What did you tell him?”

“He asked the other day, and I haven't given him an answer.” She reached for Naomi's hands. “I didn't want to spoil your wedding preparations. I'm sorry if I've been—”

“You've been holding out on the most important news two friends can share.” Naomi laughed, then covered her mouth so the others in the next room wouldn't hear.

Rachel remembered the singing Naomi hosted when Rachel looked outside and saw Jordan isolated from the others.

“Isn't it
wundebaar
? We'll both be
fraas
.”

Rachel winced at Naomi's chipper tone.

“You're happy, right?” Naomi's expression became serious.

“I'll always think of Timothy as a
bruder
-in-law.” Rachel bit her bottom lip. “When I think about marrying him . . . I see . . . Sadie.” She spun toward the window. “I even dream I see her.”

“And?” Naomi touched Rachel's shoulder.

Rachel couldn't look at her. “She says it's okay.”

“If things were opposite and your husband wanted to marry Sadie, would you be upset?”

“
Nay
,” Rachel said,
“nett
at all.”

Jordan stared out the bus window. After a grueling four-day journey on a crowded bus, it felt good to be in Michigan. According to the elderly man seated next to him, they still had another six hours to go before reaching Hope Falls. Jordan calculated it would be just about milking time if he caught a cab immediately from the bus station.

The man shifted in the seat. “Anxious to get home?”

Jordan smiled. “
Jah
, I am.”

The elderly man pointed to his shirt. “Are you Amish or Mennonite?”

“Amish.” He thought about it a moment, then repeated, “
Jah
, I'm Amish.” At least he would be soon. He planned to talk with the bishop about baptism and joining the church. His mother was right; Hope Falls was where he belonged.