Building Harlequin’s Moon (24 page)

“Yes.” Rachel thought of her promise to Gabriel and Kyu when she was introduced to the Library. This wasn’t breaking it, not really. Was it?

As if reading her mind, Astronaut said, “This is Council of Humanity work, Rachel. You must learn about being human.
After you learn more, you’ll
want
to make your own choices.”

Treesa broke in, “But you should get back to Gabriel soon. He’ll be looking for you.”

“What about my mom?”

“She’s cold. She may not wake up while you’re alive. It’s her choice.”

Rachel looked at her wrist. She
was
late meeting Gabriel. “I don’t know if I’ll be back,” she said. “I think I’m going to Selene in a day or two.”

“If you work at it, you may be able to have more of a voice in decisions than you know. One thing we all have is time. There is no hurry.”

Rachel turned to slide down from the roof.

“I’ve seen to it that you can message me from Selene.”

Rachel looked up at Treesa, surprised. “How can I hide that?”

“I’ll take care of it. Rachel? Try to be happier. You don’t always have a choice about what happens to you, but you have a choice about how you react.”

“That’s easy for you.”

Treesa smiled. “Better learn.”

Rachel jogged down the path toward the cafeteria, and then slowed to a walk. How was she supposed to know what action to take? Was she violating Gabriel’s trust? She had worked so hard for it, and now it didn’t seem to matter much. Working hard hadn’t got her what she needed. Ursula’s image floated in her mind, and she bit back tears. She couldn’t turn down lessons, there was too much she had to know.

She came around the corner toward the cafeteria, and Gabriel was standing near the door, waiting, looking around for her. When he saw her, he said, “You’re late.”

She said, “I know. I’ve got a clock.”

Gabriel’s eyes widened, but he shrugged and fell into
step beside her, but a distance away. He didn’t ask where she had been. “Are you doing better today?”

“What were you and the captain talking about when I came in?”

“Nothing.”

“Really?”

“Rachel, it doesn’t matter.”

Of course it mattered. But now she knew some things he didn’t know she knew. It was scary, but she liked the feeling. After all, what more could they do to her anyway? “What time do we leave tomorrow?”

“In the morning.”

“I’ll be ready.” Rachel walked faster, getting ahead of him. She led all the way to her room, and when Gabriel made as if to come in, she closed the door.

T
HEY WERE FLYING
home. Finally. Rachel nearly ignored Gabriel as he tried to engage her in conversation. He pointed out several moons, but she could barely pull her eyes away from watching for Selene.

Gabriel had told her father they were coming. She now had full communications access, but she had decided not to send notes; she wanted to
see
people. She twisted on her hair braid, now so long it hung below her shoulders.

As the glittering craters of Selene came into focus, she gasped again at the bright colors. Selene looked even more beautiful from space than the first time she’d seen it that way. Home.

It was early evening, nearly dark. Aldrin glowed with new lights, at least twice as many as before. Twenty years ago, air traffic used a wide hardened field near the grove. Today they glided onto a paved surface on the other side of town, ringed with bright lights, guided in by a two-story tower. They were the only space-plane landing, but they competed for landing room with a plane from Gagarin. Slim new planes with red and blue wings lined the runway.

Rachel grabbed her pack and slung it over her shoulder and scrambled out of the plane. She inhaled deeply. The smells didn’t match her memory, but they were the smells of a world: dirt and plants and people. The stars spread above her where they belonged, and the ground under her feet was solid and dark out to where horizon met black sky.

She looked around for her dad or Harry and Gloria, or anyone. Surely they had come to greet her?

A brown-haired, compact man wearing braid clips like Gabriel’s came up and clapped Gabriel on the back. “Boy, am I glad to see you! There’s a lot to catch you up on—”

“Not here.” Gabriel turned toward Rachel. “Rachel, this is Shane. He and Star have been teaching and overseeing Teaching Grove, just like Ali and I did when you were a student.”

“P-pleased to meet you,” Rachel said.

Shane’s eyes traveled up and down her body as if inspecting her. Finally, he smiled and extended a hand. She shook it quietly. Shane turned and led them toward a squat brown building below the tower.

As they crossed the threshold, Rachel saw her father standing twenty feet away. At first, he hesitated; looking, then his eyes sparkled as a huge grin split his face. She ran toward him, throwing her arms around his waist. “I came back, Daddy. I told you I’d come back!” She felt his arms tighten around her, finally holding her as hard as he used to.

“Shhhh . . .” he said. “Shhhh . . . I know.” He stood there for a long time, rocking her, and then he held her away
from him and studied her. She returned the gaze. New lines surrounded his eyes, and his hair was gray. His skin hung more off his face, and was mottled. He looked tired.

“You . . . you . . . look . . . exactly . . . like you left a few months ago,” he stammered.

“I did,” she said. “I did.” The oddness of his grip penetrated, and she looked around at his hand on her shoulder.

“Wait now, you’re stronger. More muscle. Did Gabriel tell you about Kara and the kids?”

She nodded, swallowing. His thumb and forefinger were missing. His remaining fingers were very strong. She touched his hand. “Dad, what happened?”

“We’ve made a room up for you. Gabriel said he might let you visit. Can you come?”

Rachel thought he looked uncertain again, and she turned to look at Gabriel, who stood just behind her. If she asked, Gabriel could say no. And leaders created the future. She turned back to her father. “I will. Gabriel can come’for me when he needs me.”

Behind her, Gabriel’s voice was flat. “I’ll pick you up day after tomorrow.” She turned around to thank him, but Gabriel turned away and she couldn’t see the look on his face. She swallowed, turning back to her dad.

His eyes were wide. “You should have asked.”

She took his hand, and said, “Let’s go.”

Frank squeezed her hand, and leaned closer. “I hope you know what you’re doing.”

“Me too.” She wished she’d been able to see Gabriel’s face, to tell if he was mad at her. Rachel followed Frank out of the building. The paved path outside was wide enough for them to walk side by side. Lights made round pools they walked in and out of, holding hands. “So, tell me about Kara,” she said.

“Well, they always wanted me to have more children, but . . . but I kept hoping your mom would come back.” He looked at her questioningly.

“I didn’t find anything out, except that she’s like I was, dead to the world while it goes on around her. No one would tell me anything.”

Frank frowned. “I lived alone for the first few years. In the beginning, you were coming back in three months, and we talked all the time. Then it was going to be another year, a year cold, and—” She felt his shudder.
You don’t talk to the dead
. “The year was hard. It was harder when it got past the year. I thought I’d lost you forever. No one told me anything when I asked at first, just that they’d warm you someday.” He took her hand and squeezed it, so hard it hurt. “That’s what they said about Kristin!

“It took me two years to choose to live with someone else. Kara was one of those Earth Born they brought down to help build more shelters; there wasn’t much time between flares to get it done. I knew I was getting close to running out of choices, and besides, living alone was getting hard.” He cleared his throat. “I got assigned to help with the new buildings too, and Kara and I got along all right. They don’t make us match up, but it’s expected, you just know it. They need children here so we’ll have enough hands to do the work. I was afraid I wouldn’t have good choices if I didn’t hurry up and make my own decision, and besides, I was lonely.” He squeezed her hand again. “Kara and I did a ten-year contract when we found out she was pregnant with the twins.” He looked at her searchingly, as if wanting her approval.

She nodded slightly. “Go on.”

“Kara’s all right. She’s honored her contract and stayed with us. She’s Earth Born. She thought she’d wake up at Ymir, but of course she didn’t. She’s adjusted okay, but she wants to go back to the ship. Most Earth Born are like Kara—surprised and thinking this isn’t what they were meant for. Some are friendly to us, some keep to themselves.”

He walked quietly for a while, as if he was someplace far away. Rachel looked at him closely. He was older, but she sensed more than that. It felt as if he had less hope; as if he were unhappy and tired in some deep way. But then he looked back at her, brightening again.

“Rachel, you should see the kids . . . the boys are nine, Jacob and Justin—did anyone tell you we had twin boys? They’re both wild. They take things apart all the time, and they try and put them back together. I think they’ll be mechanics, and maybe bad ones.” He smiled warmly. “Or very good ones. And we have a daughter, Sarah, who’s seven.”

“Daddy, what happened to your hand?”

He held it up and turned it back and forth, looking. “Oh. I swung an ax at a burl stump. The grain was all wrong. It came back at me. Stupid. Willie Doc reattached the forefinger, the thumb was just shredded, but the finger went necrotic and it had to go too. It happened the year after you left.” So long ago that he’d forgotten that his hand had once been different.

She worried about her dad, but her body continued betraying her, lifting her mood, registering every sensation. Her weight was perfect. The open sky and the horizons and the light touch of wind on her cheeks felt like home. She smelled grasses, and cooking vegetables. The square houses lining the walk were weird—when she left, there were only two hard-sided buildings with roofs, and even Council lived in fancy tents. She remembered the fluttering scarves that made windows on the tent city. The new houses were neat but they all looked alike. People moved in the windows of some of the houses. They passed a few little knots of people outside, and Rachel didn’t see anyone she knew.

They turned left down a wide pathway lined with lights, and then into the doorway in a sand-colored box house. Her father went in first, and was immediately covered in
children. Frank laughed and greeted them, then turned and introduced Rachel. She liked being older than someone around her. There were no children in
John Glenn
.

The children were friendly and shy, clustering around Frank’s legs and looking up at her. Jacob and Justin were all legs and arms, with little-boy faces topped by short reddish curls. Sarah was blond and blue-eyed, and reminded Rachel of Gloria when she was a little girl.

Rachel bent down and greeted each of them by name. The boys held back, uncertain, but little Sarah reached out her hand for Rachel’s, and shook it solemnly, then giggled.

A woman who must be Kara leaned in the kitchen doorway, her arms crossed over her torso. She was clearly Earth Born, wider and shorter than Rachel or Frank, with ample hips, a broad face, and serious eyes framed with dark brown hair. She stepped forward and took Rachel’s hand firmly, and said, “I can’t tell you how pleased your father has been to know that you are okay, that you were coming home.”

Rachel returned the handshake, noticing that Kara hadn’t said that
she
was happy to see Rachel. “It’s a pleasure to meet you,” she said.

“Your room is made up,” Frank said, turning. “Follow me.”

As soon as the door opened, Rachel broke into a broad smile. Her old bed was there, and new clothes, and even a pile of blankets. Pictures she’d made before she left hung on the walls. The little box he had carved for her sat by the bed. She put her pack down and opened the box, taking out the little tree and holding it in her palm.

He had put real effort into helping her feel at home. “Thank you,” she said, as controlled as she could. “Thank you.”

Her dad looked bewildered. “You’re welcome. We’ll have dinner in about an hour—if we can keep the kids away from the table for that long. I’m sure you’ll want to rest some after the trip down.”

She wasn’t tired; her new body wasn’t tired. Her spirit needed a break, a chance to breathe in the new smells of her old home. She leaned into him and held him. “I came back, Daddy. I said I would.”

“I know.” He stroked her hair. “I knew if anyone could get back from up there, you would do it.”

Rachel pulled the doorway curtain closed and sat down on the bed—on her bed—and it was too much again, and she rolled over and cried. She cried about her dad’s hand, his uneasy alliance with Kara, his gray hair, and how he looked so sad. Someone had been kind enough to put a box of tissues in the room.

Dinner was a surprise. Rachel was introduced to chicken served on rice. Nobody flinched at the notion that they were eating a dead bird. Rachel watched to see how they did it, how they worked their teeth and lips around the bones. She’d seen birds in Treesa’s panorama of Earth. Here they’d been introduced nearly twenty years ago, when so many more Earth Born came to Selene.

Kara was quiet as Frank told Rachel about how Aldrin had grown, explaining the hand he’d had in designing infrastructure. Rachel felt like Kara was watching her, waiting for something.

Jacob interrupted. “What does the
John Glenn
look like?”

“Tell us about the ship,” Justin said.

Sarah looked at Rachel with big eyes, but didn’t say anything.

Rachel described the bright-jeweled face of Selene as they flew above it and the absolute darkness of space outside of the atmosphere.

“How big is
John Glenn?
” Justin asked.

“Bigger than Aldrin. And there’s a garden inside it that’s bigger than Teaching Grove.”