Bully (23 page)

I’d never made love before, and I’d definitely never made out with anyone that made me feel like this. Hell, he wasn’t even kissing me, and I was struggling not to surrender.

As his lips moved over my ear, he asked, “Can I kiss you now?”

Oh, God. No. No. No.

But I wasn’t saying that. I said nothing. Giving in felt like letting him win. And telling him to stop was out of the question, too. I didn’t want him to stop. He felt too good. Like a roller coaster multiplied times one hundred.

His lips moved back over my cheek, inching closer to my mouth.

“I want to touch you.” His words were against my lips now. “I want to feel what’s mine. What’s always been mine.”

Oh, sweet Jesus.

Those words shouldn’t turn me on. But holy hell, they did. My mouth quivered with wanting to take him in. I tasted his breath and wanted to capture and taste all of him. I wanted to fulfill my need.

But my eyes snapped open when I realized that it would fulfill his need, too.

Shit.

I bit down on the corner of my mouth to stifle the ache between my legs, and used my weak muscles to shove him away.

I could barely meet his eyes. He knew he’d gotten to me. He had to know.

“Stay away from me.” I hopped off the car and walked to the passenger side.

I heard his chuckle behind me. “You first.”

My eyes flutter open with the sudden chill. I am in bed, but a draft caresses my body. Are my French doors open?

Looking around me, I widen my eyes with shock when I notice Jared standing at the foot of my bed with my blanket in his hand.

“Jared?” I wipe my eyes and look at him questioningly. My arms go up to cover my chest, which is hardly modest under a white camisole.

“Don’t,” his husky voice commands me. “Don’t cover yourself.”

I don’t know why I obey. I let my arms fall beside me to the bed. Jared’s intense gaze scours every inch of my body as he drops the blanket to the floor. My skin is seared with his hungry observation, and I can’t seem to get enough air.

His naked chest shimmers in the moonlight coming through my window. He wears black pants, which hang low from his strong, narrow hips.

Leaning down, he wraps his fingers around my ankles and gently eases them apart.

My legs, which are slightly bent at the knee, are now spread and hiding nothing except what is covered by my pink boy shorts.

Bending one knee onto the bed, he lowers himself until each of his hands falls beside my hips. While my knees shake with excited nerves, I watch as his head dips and kisses the top of my thigh. I gasp at the feel of his lips, soft and warm, against my skin. The flip-flop of my stomach is nothing compared to the throbbing at my core.

Why aren’t I stopping him?

I am scared to let him continue but completely in awe of the sensations pouring over my body. I watch him quietly as he trails more kisses, leading inward. The hair on the top of his head brushes my sex, and I grip the bed sheet to keep from wrapping my legs around his body and pressing him into me. His tongue touches my thigh with the next kiss, and the scorching heat of his mouth almost sends me jerking off the bed. I thread my hands through his hair, unable to control myself.

“Jared,” I plead.

He comes to hover over me, looking down into my eyes with fire and need. While his head remains high above, never breaking eye contact, his hips meet mine, and we start moving against each other. I feel him harden through his pants, and I like that I do that to him. My eyes close with the pleasure boiling my blood, and my need for him builds with the friction of his hard-on rubbing between my legs.

“Don’t stop,” I gasp out, the throbbing growing intense deep inside, and I know exactly where I need him to be. I need more of him.

“You’re mine, Tate.” Jared’s right hand holds the side of my chest under my arm, and his thumb strokes my breast.

“Please.” Between his finger on my nipple and the pulsing between my thighs growing faster with our increasing pace, I squeeze my eyes shut, delirious with craving. Our bodies move in a frenzy, and I suck in breath after breath to keep up. I don’t know how long this can go on, but I know we are building to something sweet.

“Say you’re mine,” Jared commands as he grinds into me, harder. Damn, he feels good. He lowers his lips to mine as we breathe each other in. He smells like wind and rain, and fire.

“I…” my voice is lost. I just need a few more seconds.

Oh, God.

“Say it,” Jared pleads against my lips, our bodies flush with each other now. I grab him by the hips and pull him into me as much as our clothes will allow. My body begins to spasm, and I hold my breath waiting for it to come.

“Say it,” Jared whispers into my ear.

I jerk my hips against him and gasp out, “I’m yours.” Shivers shoot through my center and trail through my belly and down my body. A wave of pleasure pours over my body like vibrations under my skin. I’ve never felt anything like this before.

And I want more of it.

As the sweet pulse between my legs throbbed, my eyes fluttered open. I looked to my left and right before I shot up in my bed. Sunlight shined through my bedroom window, and I realized I was all alone.

What the hell?!

I twisted around, sure that I’d find Jared there. But no. Nothing. No Jared. No moonlight. I had gone to sleep in my pajama shorts and black t-shirt. My blankets rested on my body. Jared had never been here.

But the orgasm had been real. I still felt my body shuddering on the inside with the arousal he, or rather the dream of him, caused. My muscles, weak from the tension, barely kept me sitting up in bed. I crashed back onto my pillow and let out an exasperated sigh. That had been amazing, but I couldn’t believe that had actually happened! I’d heard about guys having wet dreams but not girls.

Tate, you’re psychotic.
Fantasizing about that jerk was sick. I took deep, long breathes to calm myself down.
It was all because he’d been on my mind so much. Nothing more.

I hadn’t been properly kissed in months, not since the few dates I’d had in France. Jared had gotten under my skin last night, but no matter how turned on he got me I had to remember that he was off limits. Apologizing for treating me like dirt wasn’t enough. I didn’t trust him, and I never would.

Not without the whole story.

He also had too much control over my body, and that had to change.

Last night, after the non-kiss, Jared had driven me home without another word. He’d driven off after he’d dropped me off, and now I was exhausted from lying awake until two a.m. wondering about his last words to me.

You first.
Did he mean that I couldn’t stay away from him?

Bold son of a bitch.

“Are you up, Tate?” My grandma poked her head through my doorway. I shuffled with the covers as she came into the room, and I grimaced internally, wondering if I’d made any suspicious noises out loud during my dream.

“Uh, yeah. Just woke up.” Sitting up, I plastered an innocent smile on my face.

“Good. You better get dressed. I have breakfast downstairs. You need to hurry if we’re going to make it to your meet on time.” She nodded her head and waved her hand in a get-out-of-bed motion as I tried to remember what she was talking about.

Meet?

“Come on. Up and at ‘em.” She clapped her hands before turning and leaving.

Glancing at the clock, I realized I’d forgotten to set the alarm last night. My meet! The whole reason I’d let Jared give me a ride in the first place. I should’ve been up a half hour ago!

Thankfully, Grandma was giving me a ride and would stay to watch before she drove back to her own house today. Tomorrow, I’d be on my own again.

Throwing off the covers, I sprinted to my closet and threw on my shorts, sports bra and tank top. I’d put on my team shirt when I got there, so I stuffed that in my duffle bag with my socks. Grabbing my shoes and a hair tie, I hopped down the stairs and filled a paper plate with some toast and sliced up fruit.

“Sit down and eat.” Grandma pointed to the chair.

“I’ll eat in the car. I hate being late.” I crammed a couple of snack bars and water bottles in my bag before heading to the door. “Come on,” I said, ignoring her stare.

The last thing I wanted to do this morning was sit across from my grandma and try to eat breakfast, knowing she’d walked into my bedroom minutes after I’d had an orgasm.

***

Even with as little sleep as I’d had, the opportunity to pound out some energy and frustration proved useful at the meet. My team took part in a competition in which we placed second, and I also competed in an individual race spanning a few miles through a nearby recreational area. The high walls of the quarry around us, and the dense population of trees made the trail space feel cramped. And that was how I liked it today. I couldn’t imagine that I was alone, so it was hard to let my mind wander off the race.

Coming in second again, I smiled as my grandma snapped picture after picture. I was glad she was here to see me race, probably for the last time in my high school career. Although, my dad missed it, and now I missed him even more. It’d been hard dealing with my mom not being around for the important events, but I really wanted my dad today.

After chilidogs at Mulgrew’s, she drove us home.

“I’m going to miss you. I told your dad I’d be back at Christmas, though.” Grandma packed up the last of her belongings and set everything by the front door.

“Looking forward to it. And I will miss you too.”

“So, do you want to tell me about last night?” She peered up from her purse as she checked to make sure she had everything.

My heart skipped a beat. “Last night?” I could come clean with her, but instead, I chose to play ignorant. I had no idea where to start about last night.

“Yes. A dangerous looking black car, similar to the boy’s next door, dropped you home after curfew?” She questioned with laughing eyes. Clearly, she wasn’t too concerned.

“Yesss,” I drew it out dramatically. “Jared gave me a lift home. We were at the same party. No big deal.” My eyes averted to my shoes as my omissions had me feeling guilty. There was more to tell her, a lot more, but as always, I chose to keep my Jared issues quiet.

And now there was a whole new can of worms to sort out—his kissing and my dirty dreams.

She stood there for a few moments studying me as I continued to act oblivious. “Okay, if you say so.” She hooked her purse over her shoulder. “You remember the rules about locking up?”

I nodded.

“Good. Well, give me a hug.”

She held out her arms, and I wrapped myself around her, inhaling her perfume-lotion scent one more time. I picked up one of her bags and led the way to her car.

“See you in no time,” I assured her as I saw her bring a tissue to her eye.

“In no time,” she sniffled. “Put up some Halloween decorations. It’ll cheer you up if you get lonely.”

“Already?”

“It’s October,” she laughed. “That’s the time for Halloween, Tate.”

October?
I hadn’t realized. My birthday was coming up.

After my grandma left, I texted K.C. After everything that happened last night, I hadn’t had a chance to talk to her.

How’s it going?

Fine. Sorry I couldn’t make the meet. Busy.
She shot back a minute later.

So…you and Liam?
I queried. Part of me hoped that she and Liam were back on. I felt guilty. Only a lousy person would kiss the guy her best friend was dating, and I worried about how I would tell her. If she and Liam were back together, then maybe I wouldn’t need to come clean?

Don’t judge.
She texted back.

Relief flooded me. There
were
back together.

Never. If you’re happy…

I am. Just hope I can trust him.
She still had doubts, and rightly so. I don’t think I could take back a guy that cheated on me, but then again, I’d never been in love. I guess I wouldn’t know anything until I’d experienced it.

You may never know for sure, but as long as he’s worth it.
I wrote.

I think so……So Jared’s all yours.

What?!
The thumping in my chest actually hurt.

Apparently, I took too long drowning in my own sweat, because she texted again.

No worries, Tate. He was never mine anyway.

I couldn’t text back. What would I say?
Thanks?

Jared wasn’t hers, and he definitely wasn’t mine. He made it abundantly clear that he belonged to no one. Was Jared holding back with her because of me? Is that why she said what she said?

I spent the rest of the weekend doing anything to keep my mind off Jared. Saturday and Sunday I spent cleaning the house, washing the Bronco, completing homework, typing up procedures for my experiment, and avoiding texts from Ben and K.C.

I needed to be alone, and I wasn’t sure I could keep what happened between Jared and me a secret. K.C. deserved to know that I kissed him, but I didn’t want anyone to know, so I chose to avoid everyone. Even my dad when he called.

Ben deserved my silence, even if he had called and texted several times to apologize. If he’d just taken me home like he’d promised, then I wouldn’t have gotten into that mess with Nate.

Honestly, Ben was probably a very decent guy, despite his behavior at the bonfire. But the problem remained—I didn’t feel firecrackers going off in my stomach when he kissed me. I didn’t feel anything.

Jared was like the Fourth of July…all over my body.

***

As I stepped out of French class Monday morning, I immediately halted. Madoc stood across the hall, leaned up against the lockers, eyeballing me with a goofy grin.

“Hey, Little Speed Racer.” He sauntered over as kids behind me bumped into my back trying to get out of class.