Buried Alive! (6 page)

Dad laughed and patted him on the back.

They decided they wanted to go to the
amusement arcade. Dad bought us all candy floss. I didn't want mine so I gave it to Biscuits. He started playing this car chase with Dad. Mum began feeding coins into a fruit machine. She didn't listen properly when I started telling her about Prickle-Head and Pinch-Face.

‘
What's
his name, darling?' Mum said vaguely – and then she laughed triumphantly. She'd won the jackpot.

‘Oh, never mind,' I said huffily, and I wandered off by myself.

I stopped at one of those crane machines full of little rubber trolls with wild pink and purple hair. My girlfriend Kelly has a troll doll called Theresa.

I thought about Kelly. I hoped she wasn't still mad at me for asking Biscuits on holiday instead of her. I decided to try to win her another troll as a holiday present. A friend for Theresa. Yes, she'd really like that. She really liked me. Even if I wasn't very brave.

I put a whole pound coin in the machine. It gave me five goes. It should be easy-peasy to get one troll. Several. Maybe even five.

Ha! I wrestled with the handle that worked the crane but it wouldn't go where I wanted. It missed altogether the first two goes. It caught a troll's hair the third go and I
gasped – but the troll slipped away. I missed the fourth time. My hand started to shake for the fifth and final go.

Someone was standing behind me, watching. I
hate
that. The crane opened up its claws. It brushed against a couple of trolls. It knocked one so that its little rubber arm waved cheekily. But then the claws closed on nothing. The crane went up again – empty.

‘You're pretty useless!' someone said. ‘Here, you'd better let me have a go.'

I turned round to look at this rude stranger.

It wasn't a stranger at all.

It was Kelly!!!

I COULDN'T BELIEVE
it was Kelly. But there are no other girls like her. She has hair sticking straight up in the air in a top knot. When she's excited it waggles about. She's got little dark glinty eyes and a great big grin. She wears bright clingy clothes and posh trainers and she talks all the time. Well, I suppose there
are
quite a lot of girls like Kelly, but she's the bounciest.

‘Kelly!' I said.

‘Hi, Tim,' she said. She grinned, the corners of her mouth almost tickling her ears. She had new earrings, white and sparkly. She twiddled them proudly.

‘Do you like my diamonds? My mum's boyfriend Dave bought me them as a holiday present,' she said.

‘Wow! Real diamonds!' I said.

‘Well. Not
real
real. But they're very good synthetic stones,' Kelly said, tossing her head about so that they caught the light. ‘Right. Budge over, Tim. I'll show you how to work these cranes.'

Kelly's mum's boyfriend Dave had given her a whole purseful of change. She inserted a coin and started twiddling.

She was
ace
.

In a matter of minutes Theresa Troll had a whole tribe of relations: Tracy Troll and Truman Troll and Tabitha Troll and Tyrone Troll and Tilly Troll and Trocadero Troll. Biscuits and Dad and Mum heard Kelly's triumphant crowing as she kept capturing yet another troll. They came over to watch.

Then Kelly's mum and Kelly's mum's boyfriend Dave and Kelly's little brother Dean and her baby brother Keanu came and watched too. It got very crowded. I'd have died if everyone was watching me. It didn't put Kelly off a bit.

Then all the grown-ups started talking and Kelly's mum's new boyfriend Dave got introduced. He had the most amazing tattoos all the way up his arms. Snakes and flowers and hearts and a lady in a bikini. He could make her waggle when he moved his muscle.
He showed Biscuits and me and we thought it cooler than cool. We kept wanting him to do it, but Mum gave me a sharp nudge and told me not to keep pestering. She didn't say much else. Kelly's mum said lots and lots. Dad did too.

‘I just can't get over the coincidence of you being here on holiday too!' he said. ‘I mean, Llanpistyll and Abercoch are such out of the way places.'

‘It was our Kelly. She looked them up on the map, she did, and said she just
knew
Llanpistyll would be great. And so we made sure there was a caravan site – and here we are.'

‘Oh, you're staying at the caravan site,' said Mum.

‘Don't tell me you are too!' said Kelly's mum, laughing and flipping her pony-tail.

Kelly's mum is ever so like Kelly. Only more glittery.

‘Oh no! No, we're staying at the Gwesty Bryn Nodfa. It's a very nice quiet family hotel,' said Mum.

‘Poor you,' said Kelly. ‘It's ever such fun down the caravan site. We've got our
own
amusement arcade and there's swings and all sorts.'

‘Yes, it's great for the kiddies,' said Kelly's
mum's boyfriend Dave. ‘They can amuse themselves. And we can amuse
our
selves.'

‘You must come over. Come now!' Kelly said.

‘Can we, Mum?' I said.

‘Oh no, dear. No, we're going to look at another castle,' Mum said quickly.

‘Then come for tea,' said Kelly.

‘Ooh, let's,' said Biscuits.

‘No, I'm sorry, we have our evening meal at our hotel,' said Mum.

‘
Supper
, then,' said Kelly.

‘Please!' I said.

‘Double please with knobs on,' said Biscuits.

Mum opened her mouth. It was already in a firm No shape. But guess what!

‘
Yes
,' said Dad. ‘Yes, we'd love to.'

‘But we won't have finished our meal till seven at the earliest,' said Mum. ‘And then the boys should really be in bed by half-past seven.'

‘You go to bed at half-past
seven
?' said Kelly. ‘I don't go to bed till twelve sometimes, isn't that right, Mum?'

‘We go to bed
later
than that,' said Dean.

‘And this little monkey stays up
all
night sometimes,' said Kelly's mum, picking up Keanu and giving him a little toss in the air.
Keanu squealed and drool came out of his mouth and dripped down onto Kelly's mum.

‘You little whatsit!' she said. ‘Are you spitting at your mum, eh? I'll give you what for.' She tossed him up in the air again and he squealed and slurped again.

Biscuits and I watched in appalled fascination.

‘I don't really reckon babies,' said Biscuits.

‘Me too,' I said.

‘Me
three
,' said Kelly. ‘You try living with one all the time. So – you're coming round to the site, right?'

It was all agreed.

Mum was narked and had words with Dad back at the hotel. Lots and lots of words. We could easily hear them in the next room.

I felt fussed about Biscuits.

‘It's OK, Super-Tim,' he said kindly. ‘You should hear my mum going on at my dad sometimes.'

I felt a lot better. Though I was a bit worried about going to the caravan site myself.

‘Why don't you want to go now? Kelly's your girlfriend, isn't she?' said Biscuits. He made kissy-kissy noises.

‘Shut up. I don't
kiss
her.'

‘Oh darling Kelly,

You've got such a flat belly,

You're never ever smelly,

Let's sit in the dark and watch telly,' said Biscuits, clasping Dog Hog. He made Dog Hog wiggle around and say in a squeaky voice:

‘Oh Tim, Tim,

You're not so dim,

Come and cuddle in.'

‘You nut! Shut up, shut up,' I said, seizing Dog Hog and bashing Biscuits on the head with him.

‘Ouch! Kelly's attacking me,' Biscuits giggled.

‘Well, give it a rest, you pest. Oh no! You've got me doing daft rhymes now. No, about the caravan site. I was thinking . . . what if Prickle-Head and Pinch-Face hang out round there?'

‘Ah,' said Biscuits. He smoothed Dog Hog and laid him down gently on his pillow. ‘I don't think I'll take him with me then.'

‘He can keep Walter company,' I said. ‘Biscuits, you were so brave rescuing Dog Hog. I wish I was brave like you.'

‘Well, if Prickle-Head threw Walter Bear over the railings you'd go and get him, wouldn't you?' said Biscuits.

‘Mmm,' I said doubtfully. ‘I
hope
I would. I don't know though. I wish I wasn't such a coward.'

‘You're not really,' said Biscuits – but he sounded doubtful too.

‘Yes, I am. I'm afraid of everything.'

‘Look,
I'm
afraid of Prickle-Head,' said Biscuits. ‘And Pinch-Face too. He didn't half dig his nails in when he had hold of me.'

‘I'm afraid of heaps of other people too. I even get scared of my dad sometimes.'

‘Your dad? That's daft, your dad's smashing. It's your mum who's a bit . . .'

‘A bit what?'

‘Oh, never mind.'

‘OK, I'm not scared of my mum. But I'm scared of all these
things
too.'

‘
What
things?' said Biscuits. He pulled a face and made his fingers into scrabbly claws. ‘Ghosties and ghoulies?'

‘Silly things. Like looking down from the top of the castle. And – and the cracks in the pier. And all sorts of other stuff.' I sighed miserably. ‘I'm a complete wimp.'

‘You're a tearful wimp – and I'm a cheerful chimp!' said Biscuits, suddenly straddling his legs and letting his arms hang loose. He made loud chimpanzee noises. ‘Me want bananas!'

It was impossible to stay depressed around Biscuits.

‘Me want bananas too!' I said, and did my own chimp impersonation.

Then we grew into Giant Gorillas and did mating calls and Mum stopped telling Dad off next door to come and tell us off instead.

‘You're obviously getting very silly and over-tired already,' she said. ‘It's
not
a good idea for us all to traipse over to this caravan site after tea. But as your father has committed us then I suppose we've no option. But we're not going to stay long. We'll just say hello and stop ten minutes to be polite. We certainly won't want any supper.'

‘Some of us might!' said Biscuits.

Mum pretended not to hear. She wasn't talking to Dad at all when we drove over to the caravan site. I was a bit quiet myself, still worried that we might meet up with Prickle-Head any moment. I peered round anxiously as we walked down the rows of caravans – and then someone leapt on my back!

‘Hey, Tim, it's me!' Kelly said. ‘What are you screaming about?'

‘You made me jump,' I gasped. ‘Don't creep up on me like that again, Kelly.'

‘Oh, go on, it's fun,' said Kelly. ‘Hi, everyone. Our caravan's at the back, over by the oak trees. This way!'

She directed us like a traffic policeman. A big boy with short hair suddenly ran down the steps of his caravan and I stopped still, my
heart thudding – but it wasn't Prickle-Head after all, just some mild mini lookalike.