Buried Notes (Brothers of Rock #4) (16 page)

His hands were fierce, gripping the
side of her pants and panties. He tugged once, commanding Becky to lift her
hips, which she did. And off everything went. Sliding down her body, her
panties clung to her body for a second or two. As Chris guided her pants and
panties down past her ankles, Becky was exposed to Chris. His hands gently
touched her knees and opened her legs. He stared at her eyes for a few seconds,
comforting Becky, but then he looked down. At her. At her body. At her most
private desire.

“Oh, Becky,” Chris whispered.
“You’re beautiful... everywhere...”

Chris came forward again and kissed
Becky’s inner thigh. He worked his way up to her center but then skipped over
and went to her other thigh. The move teased Becky, leaving her thrusting at
Chris. Her hands clawed at the bed sheets, seeking any kind of relief.

Chris teased Becky some more,
flicking at her warm center a couple times, just to taste her. He then kissed
back up her body, Becky moaning now each time he did. He kissed to her breasts
and then stood up. Becky hurried and sat up. As Chris reached for his pants,
she reached back for her bra. She couldn’t take it anymore. She needed Chris
with her, on top of her,
inside
her
.

With her bra on the floor and Chris
taking his pants off, Becky let out a whimpering breath at the sight of his
hardness. She’d been waiting so long to see him again. To feel him again. To
touch him...

Becky slipped her fingers around
Chris and pulled, gently stroking him. She pulled him forward as she fell back
to her bed again. It was the only time she’d command Chris. His hands touched
her knees again, softly opened her legs, allowing Becky to welcome him. His
hands slipped around to the back of her knees. He pulled her, his muscles
showing their capabilities, bringing Becky to the edge of her bed. As he
touched her and gently entered her, he also brought her to the edge of climax.
That edge only lasted a few seconds... once Chris was inside her, there was no
stopping Becky’s body.

She’d waited too long for this.

(18)

Chris remained standing as long as
he could. Studying Becky’s body, the beauty of all he’d wanted for so long.
Watching himself sliding in and out of her body, hearing her voice and how it
reacted, and most of all, feeling the way Becky’s body reacted too. How she
clenched at him when she came, how she thrust back at him, wanting to pleasure
him too. It left Chris teetering on his own climax right from the go. Thankfully,
he was able to hold back as long as he could.

When the urge came and he knew he
couldn’t stop it, he slid his hands under Becky and lifted her off the bed.
Becky cried out and threw her arms around his neck for balance. Chris climbed
the bed, still inside Becky, and then lowered himself and Becky to the bed
again. He kept his body tight with hers, feeling her warm, soft breasts press
against his chest. His thrusts were compact but fulfilling, moving deep into
Becky. She wrapped her legs around him tight, just like all those years before.
They were connected, nothing else in the world mattering in those last seconds
of their lovemaking. This was what Becky wanted from Chris and that’s what he
wanted to give her.

His right hand held her head, his
fingers lost in the maze and tangles of her fruity smelling hair. His left hand
touched at her waist, every few seconds creeping down to her backside, cupping
her, squeezing, lifting. He exhaled a breath into her ear, then kissed her
neck. There was no stopping his need to climax now so Chris hurried his kissing
up to Becky’s mouth. He kept his eyes open, staring into Becky’s as he kissed
her. When the need to release came once and for all, Chris thrust hard and deep
into Becky. Her mouth opened and she moaned each time he came, his body
pulsating inside her. His mouth remained open, touching Becky’s lips.

It was the greatest orgasm of his
life and judging by the look in Becky’s eyes, perhaps the same for her too.

Long after Chris had finished, he
remained on top and inside Becky. They kissed like they’d never kiss again,
something that was a lingering possibility considering there were divorce
papers in a hotel room not far from Becky’s apartment. But Chris couldn’t think
about that. He could only think about the way Becky’s heart raced. The way her
lips tasted. The way his body felt.

When he did move from Becky, she
rolled towards him, keeping her leg wrapped around him, wanting him close. He
looked down and saw Becky’s breasts touching his chest, just enough that he
couldn’t see her nipples. He touched her face, moving her slightly sweaty hair
out of the way.

“What happens next?” Becky asked,
her eyes looking hopeless.

“Next? We could go again...”

“Shut up,” Becky said. “I’m being
serious, Chris. My heart...”

Chris moved his hand down to
Becky’s chest. He cupped her left breast and smiled.

“Your heart is in my hand.”

“That’s not my heart,” Becky said
and smiled.

“Close enough for me.”

Chris put his nose to Becky’s. He
knew she was right. Whatever came next would define their future. Whatever
future that was.

“We have to be real right now,”
Becky said. “Don’t think about anything else, Chris. What do we do?”

“I have to ask you a question
then,” Chris said. His hand opened, releasing Becky’s breast. He moved his hand
to her shoulder. “You have to be honest with me.”

“Of course I will,” Becky said.

“Do you want me to sign those
papers?”

Becky’s mouth opened but nothing
came out. Her bottom lip quivered, giving Chris his answer. He shut his eyes
and swallowed the sting of truth and pain.

It still made sense.

Becky didn’t deserve to be forced
into a marriage. No matter the celebrity status of Chris or Chasing Cross, Becky
deserved to be happy. To be free. She deserved to make her own decisions on
love.

“I get it,” he said.

“Chris, it’s not like that.”

“Becky, I’m not judging you. We were
young and crazy, right? I can never thank you enough for what you did though.
You allowed Chasing Cross to become what it is. What can I do for you?”

“Hold me,” Becky whispered. “Right
now. All night. Just hold me.”

And that’s what Chris did. They
moved under the covers and he held her tight on his chest. His hands explored
her body, not in a sexual way, but in a way to capture her. He wanted to
memorize every inch of her body. The way her shoulder blades felt. The curve of
her back. The curves of her hips. He was hard again, but he kept that secret to
himself. Never before had a woman had this kind of effect on him.

“I want to hear you talk,” he said
to Becky.

“About what?”

“If I can be honest... I want to
hear about your mother. About your family. I want to know everything, Becky. I
don’t just want to hold you right now, I want to learn everything about you.”

Becky turned her head and kissed
Chris’s chest. She stared up at him. Chris moved back enough so he could see
Becky as he held her.

“It just happened,” Becky said.
“Literally... it just happened. She went for a routine checkup at her doctor’s
and that was it. They found something. And that something turned into...”

“Cancer,” Chris whispered.

“Yes. She was treated right away.
They were hopeful. But she got sick from the treatments and right from the
first day it was just so much pressure on me at the bakery. I was the one who
went to school for it. I was the one who came up with ideas for the business.
My mother and I used to work side by side. She could do the work with me. Not
that Rachael and Deb aren’t great at what they do, they are. But it was just
something between me and Mom.”

Chris nodded. He ran his fingers
through Becky’s hair. He could feel her heart swelling already. But that was
okay. He wanted this. He wanted everything to do with Becky.

“She seemed like she was getting better
too. But one day she felt fine and the next day she didn’t. And that’s all
there was to it. She got worse and worse. The treatments got more and more
harsh.”

“Christ, Becky,” Chris said. “I’m
so sorry.”

“When she was in the hospital, I
used to have a notebook. We’d share ideas for the bakery. Then I’d bake
something and I’d bring it in to her. When she didn’t want to eat anymore, I’d
take pictures and show her. It was her life there, you know? Our father took
off a long time ago. She didn’t have anyone, just the bakery. And now she’s
gone. She’s at peace though, I know that. I know that.”

A tear leaked from Becky’s eye.

Chris’s finger wiped it up for her.

“That’s good,” Chris said. “That
you understand she’s at peace. And watching over you and your sister and
sister-in-law. She’s probably watching us right now. She’d probably want to
kill me, huh?”

“No,” Becky said. “Mom was a little
adventurous herself. I mean, yeah, she’d be pissed at first about it; she
always wanted me and Rachael to explore the world and not settle too fast...
but I’m sure when she met you and saw you, she’d fall in love too.”

Chris smiled. “I was serious what I
said about the band. We do a lot with cancer benefits.”

“Maybe someday,” Becky said.

“I’m glad you told me all this.”

“Now tell me about you. About the
life. The road. The band.”

“I don’t know what to tell, Becky.
I live a dream everyday I wake up as the bassist for Chasing Cross. I take the
stage to thousands of fans who love our music. The greatest part though is
seeing younger people in the crowd. I know I’m not old or anything but to see
someone in their early twenties - or younger - in the crowd, it just means the
music is living on. That’s something special. Something we’ve done can carry
for generations.”

“What’s it like to be rich?”

“Money? It’s lonely when you have
nowhere to go and nobody to spend it on.”

Becky licked her lips. “You could
spend it on me.”

“I’d give you everything I have
right now.”

“At least half,” Becky said and
smiled.

“So be it,” Chris said.

“Do you have a house?”

“I have a place but not a house. In
California. Near the beach. It’s nice but it’s not where I want to be.”

“Where do you want to be then?
You’re rich, you could be anywhere.”

“I want to be where you are,
Becky,” Chris said.

“You are. Right now.”

“But tomorrow. And everyday. Tell
me about the bakery. What are you going to do?”

“I don’t know. I’m going to try to
let some of these feelings pass. I’m not sure if I’m serious or just grieving.
It doesn’t help matters when you walk back into my life and change everything.”

“Well,” Chris said, playing with
Becky’s hair again, “you’ll have time alone again. I have to be in Baltimore in
two days. For a show. But I’ll be right back here, if you want.”

“That’s a lot of traveling.”

“It’s worth every mile,” Chris
said. “I want this, Becky. You. Us. Everything that comes with it. What
happened those years ago... it’s stuck with me. You are the most beautiful
woman I’ve ever met. You’re the only woman that’s ever challenged me. Hurt me.
You make me angry and then smile a second later. I feel alive and I feel like
there’s a purpose to me besides being a rockstar.”

“You have to leave in two days?”
Becky asked.

“Yes,” Chris said. “Well, less than
two days by now, I’m sure. Two days from right now we’ll probably still be
playing our show.”

“Then I guess we have a lot of
catching up to do.”

Becky climbed on top of Chris.

**

It went by too fast.

That was all Becky could think
about as she stood at Chris’s rental car. He was going back to his hotel and
then getting on a private jet to fly to Baltimore. They made sure to have each
others phone numbers and Chris promised he would be back as soon as possible.
Becky knew as
soon as
possible
would be a few days, maybe a week. She secretly checked the
Chasing Cross tour page and saw that after the show in Baltimore, they had a
show in Philadelphia the next night, a show in Pittsburgh the night after that,
and then a show in Cleveland the night after that. They’d get a break for a day
and then there was a show in Virginia.

Becky had to prepare herself for
whatever would come next.

Chris teased Becky with the
opportunity to travel with him but she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t just up and
leave the bakery and her family. There was still plenty to figure out and
discuss on top of sorting out her feelings for Chris.

He hugged Becky and held her tight.
His hands were strong and gentle at the same time. Becky swore she wouldn’t cry
in front of Chris and she managed to keep her emotions under control.

“Can I tell you that I’m going to
miss you?” Chris asked.

“I think you just did,” Becky
replied.

“Fine. I’m going to miss you. Like
crazy, Becky. This is a strange feeling for me... not wanting to go see my band
and play shows. You have my heart in knots.”

“You have my life upside down,”
Becky said.

“Good. Let’s keep it that. I like
knots and I like upside down. It makes things real.”

“Is this real?”

Chris took Becky’s hand and placed
it to his chest. She felt his heart pounding.

“Can’t get anymore real than that,”
Chris whispered.

He kissed Becky. A deep satisfying
kiss but certainly not a goodbye forever kiss.

Or so Becky hoped.

Chris got into the car and drove
away. The second he was out of sight, Becky finally was able to cry. She wasn’t
even sure why she was crying. It was a mix between sorrow and happiness, a
strange churning inside her. She knew that walking back to the bakery and
facing her sister was going to be hard already, but seeing Chris leave gave her
all she needed to know.

Becky had to get out of the bakery,
once and for all.

It wasn’t her love, it wasn’t her
passion.

It was something to do with her
mother and now that her mother was gone, she needed to be gone too.

What would come next?

That part didn’t matter to Becky...
just as long as Chris came back to her.

Inside the bakery, Becky wiped her
eyes and walked behind the counter. She looked at an order sheet, pretending to
study it when in reality all she could think about was telling her sister about
her plans for the business.

“How did that go?” Rachael asked.

Becky looked at her sister. “It
went. He has a few shows and then he’s coming back.”

“Coming back? Did he sign the
divorce papers?”

Becky lowered her eyes.

“Rebecca...”

“Please, Rachael,” Becky said. “I
don’t know how to describe it.”

“You don’t want a divorce from him,
do you?”

“From Chris before? Yes. That was
us being young and doing something fun. But from the Chris that just left? No.
I don’t want him to ever go.”

“You’re in love,” Rachael said.

She walked towards Becky and hugged
her. It caught Becky off guard. She expected an earful of how irresponsible it
was. How Chris would hurt her. How nothing good would come from it.

“You’re in love with him,” Rachael
said. “That’s what this whole thing is. That’s why you never did it before.
That’s why you couldn’t date. It wasn’t because you were married… it was
because you were in love…”

“And?” Becky asked.

“And... I don’t know,” Rachael
said. “Do you really love him?”

Becky considered it even though
there was nothing to consider. Of course she loved Chris. She’d fallen so hard
for him that a breathless feeling had been in her body and heart for a long
time.

“Yes,” Becky said, admitting it to
her sister. “Yes. He’s an amazing man. Aside from being a rockstar. He’s
just...”

“Don’t let him get away from you
ever,” Rachael said.