Burn For Him (15 page)

“I thought that Destiny would appreciate them.”

Sylvie looked at me, smiling knowingly, “Someone must have gone to a lot of effort and expense to choose them.  They’re beautiful.”

“Yeah, I guess.” I knew that she was fishing, but I wasn’t in the mood to talk about Milligan.  I didn’t want to hear all over again what a ‘charming young man’ he was.

“You don’t want to talk about it.” Sylvie said, perceptively.

I smiled at her sadly.  “No.  Not really.”

“So, it didn’t work out between the two of you, then?” She asked.  So much for not talking about it.

“Not really.  He just wasn’t the kind of man that I thought he was.” I didn’t bother to say any more than that.  I didn’t want to get into the whole story with her.

“Well, I can’t say that I am too disappointed to hear that, I’m afraid.”

I turned around to look at her sharply.  “What do you mean?” I thought that she seemed to be quite taken by Milligan when he had been sat with her.

“I’m not too sure myself, if I am being honest with you. There was just something about him that I couldn’t put my finger on.  He was very smooth and very charming, but there was something about him that made the hairs on the back of my neck stand up.” She nodded, as if thinking it through in her mind.  She glanced at me like I would think that she was just a batty old woman.  The bad thing about it, after that little display last night, I could totally understand what she meant by that.

“So, I take it that we won’t be seeing him here at the hospital any longer?”

“Not if I can help it.”

“Just his flowers as he tries to win back your affections, eh?” She chuckled.  I smiled at her weakly.  I hoped that after seeing him on my way here tonight that he finally might have got the message and that I wouldn’t be seeing him again anytime soon.

“I had better take these into her.” I said as I got up slowly from the chair, reaching for the flowers that filled the air with their sickly sweet overpowering scent.  “I hope you hear some good news about Nathaniel soon.”

She stood up to help me juggle the flowers in my arms and patted my hand.  “Bless you, Carrie.” I nodded and moved over to the direction of Dee’s room.

I paused when I got to the door. Looking around back over my shoulder, I couldn’t see anything out of the ordinary.  But, you know the feeling that you get when you are being watched? I felt like there were eyes boring into me and it made my skin crawl.  I felt the hairs on the back of my neck standing to attention.  That made me think back to what Sylvie had said to me only moments ago. Looking around again, there was no sign of him anywhere.  The people that were sitting in the waiting room were absorbed in their own problems and in their own little worlds and were paying no attention to me.  The hospital staff were going about their business.  No one was even looking in my direction.  So, why was I suddenly feeling so on edge? It was the most unsettling feeling.

I quickly walked into Dee’s room and kicked the door firmly shut behind me.  Dumping the flowers down on the table at the end of the bed, closed my eyes and I breathed in a big breath of fresh air, followed by a quick sneeze.  I didn’t suffer from any allergies like that, but the smell of the flowers had been over-whelming.

Opening my eyes, I couldn’t believe it.  I just couldn’t fucking believe it. 

There was another huge bouquet of flowers artfully arranged in a vase in the far corner of the room.  What was he playing at? I stormed over and saw that the envelope to the card was still sealed.  I ripped it open, not caring if I destroyed the message inside.

‘Carrie.  Come to me. XOXO’

What was his problem? Why couldn’t he just leave me alone?

I turned my back on the flowers and concentrated on Dee in front of me.  She looked just the same as she had when I had left her.  If it hadn’t been for all the needle, wires and machines, she would have looked like she was sleeping.  I hated to see her looking like this.  She was always so energetic and full of life.  I brushed her hair back from her face.  I knew that if she woke up this very minute that she would throw a complete hissy fit.  Dee was the sort of girl that would do her hair and make-up on a Sunday when the only place she had to go to was the shop down the road for some milk.  That’s just how she was.  She hated to look like anything less than perfect.  That was one of the things that was making her look quite so ill at the moment.  She didn’t have any make-up on and her hair hung limply.  I knew that there was no point in even trying to do her make-up.  The nurses would only come in and scrub it off.  And, I knew that I wouldn’t be able to do it to her standards.  The least I could do was run a brush through her hair, though.

I jumped out of my skin when the door suddenly opened and I was confronted by yet another bunch of those infuriating roses.  The bristles on the brush tangled in Dee’s hair and I tried not to jerk the brush out. As soon as he stepped through the door, Harper poked his head around the flowers.  “Express delivery” He called out with a smile on his face, until he saw the rest of the flowers and his face froze.  “What’s all this?”

My own face fell.  “Milligan.”

Harper stormed over and dumped the flowers on the floor.  There wasn’t really anywhere else that they could go.  The surfaces were already taken up by the three other bouquets.  “I was told at the nurse’s station to bring these in here.  I thought that they were for Destiny. I can’t believe it.”

“Because he’s a total nut case.”

Harper looked over at Dee and smiled again when he noticed that I had tried to make an effort with her hair.  “How’s she doing?”  He planted a soft kiss on her sleeping cheek.

“No change.”

Harper smoothed out her hair in a fan on the side of the pillow.  “Looks good.” He commented.  As he put his sports bag on the floor, he glanced at all the flowers. I followed his gaze.  He didn’t say anything else about them.  I knew he wouldn’t.  He got the message when I told him this morning that I hadn’t wanted anything else to do with Milligan.  I didn’t bother mentioning to him about running into him after work today. It didn’t matter.  I’d told Milligan exactly what I thought of him and I didn’t think that it was going to happen again.

Harper and I spent a bit more time chatting with one another and talking to Dee, filling her in on all the inane crap that she was missing.  It was something that we were both starting to get used to, glossing over the awkward silences.

It was starting to get late and we decided that it was time to get off home.  There was no point in staying there all night.  The nurse’s and the doctors had all assured us both that they would ring us the very second that anything happened with Destiny.

I still felt so bad about leaving her here all alone, but there was only so much that we could do. With no other family to look out for her, it was all down to me and Harper.  But, we did both need to try and get a good night’s sleep.  I didn’t need another crappy day at work like I had had today.  And, I hoped that Steve would be in a better mood and give me less hassle.

All I wanted to do when we got home was collapse in my bed and close my eyes.

Unlocking the front door, the first thing I saw was a single red rose that had been pushed through the letter box.  I could tell that not too long ago, it would have been perfect, but now? The petals were dropping off of it and it looked sickly. Harper said nothing as he bent down to pick it up and passed it over to me, walking away to head off to watch a bit of TV. 

I didn’t know what to think.  I didn’t want the goddamn rose.  Why wasn’t he getting the message? I only hoped that this rose had been sent before I had my little chat with Milligan earlier.  I hoped that he had finally got the message and that he would stop all of this nonsense.

I walked through to the kitchen.  I didn’t want this rose.  I opened up the lid of the bin and dropped the flower in with the trash.  As I let it go, my skin snagged on one of the spikey thorns, drawing a small drop of blood.  I stood there staring at my finger for a moment.  Spilled blood.  That seemed like a rather ominous omen.

Shaking my head to rid myself of such silly thoughts.  I knew that it didn’t help to think like that.  I ran my finger under the cold water until the blood finally stopped flowing. I refused to think that this was anything but what it was. They were flowers.  They were just flowers.  There was no menacing message behind them.

I could have gone in and watching some TV with Harper, but I wasn’t in the mood for it.  I couldn’t even be bothered to pick up a book, which just about summed up my state of mind. Sleep was the only thing that was going to help me tonight.

Chapter Nine

The next few days were relatively quiet, thank goodness for that.

I finally felt like I could relax a little bit.  There had been no change with Destiny’s condition, but the other aspects of my life were becoming a little less stressful.  Steve hadn’t been giving me such as hard time at work.  I had been sleeping better and I hadn’t seen or heard anything from Milligan.  I hoped that meant that he had finally got the message and that he was now going to leave me alone.

That was until the following Wednesday morning.  I was at work and Steve came into my office to sit on the edge of my desk.  He look was a mixture of concern and anger. It wasn’t an easy look for him to pull off. I wondered what the hell I had done wrong this time. It was a worry to see him looking like that.  The last week, things had gone back to normal and we had had our easy working relationship back.  Now, it all looked like it was going to go belly up again.

“What’s wrong, Steve?” I asked him.

He was watching me so quietly that I thought I may as well get the ball rolling.  He hadn’t had a bad word to say about my work.  I didn’t know what I had done wrong.  Everything had been completed and put on his desk way ahead of schedule.  I had worked my ass off to get that last assignment right.  I couldn’t see how he was going to be able to pick fault with it.

“How is everything with you, Carrie?”

That was a trick question if ever I’d heard one.  I had to be careful how I answered him.  Anything I could and would say would be held against me.

“Why don’t you just tell me what’s going on, Steve?”

“You know that I don’t like to get involved with my employee’s personal lives, but you have worked here for me long enough that I feel I must speak to you about this.”

Shit.  This was sounding worse than I thought.  I didn’t say anything.  There was nothing that I could say.  I had no idea what he was getting at with this line of conversation.

“I know that it is not pleasant when a relationship goes sour, but I don’t want it to affect your working life.  I know that that is not always easily done, but you have to try and keep these things separate.”

What was he going on about now? I hadn’t let anything affect my work.  Was he on about that thing with Milligan outside the office last week? If it was, he was a bit late in pulling me up about it.

He remained quiet, just looking at me with those intent green eyes of his.  “Steve.  I don’t meant to be rude, but what are you getting at? Aren’t you pleased with how the Smyth project turned out? I thought that they were more than satisfied with it.”  I couldn’t think for the life of me why he wouldn’t be pleased with it.  It thought that it had been some of my best work.

“No, no, no.  That was simply perfect.  The best I’ve seen.  You’re back on form again.  Excellent work.”

I raised an eyebrow at him.  If it wasn’t that, then what was all of this about?

“Carrie, you know that I don’t object to personal deliveries at work,” I had to try and hide a grin.  I didn’t know that he knew about all the books that I’d had delivered there, “And, I know that there is no way for you to be able to stop others from sending you gifts,”  Ah, he was on about the ridiculously large bouquets of flowers that Milligan had sent me last week.  I knew he had a point.  They did take up a rather a lot of room.  “But, you of all people have to appreciate that some things just aren’t appropriate.  Especially in our line of business.”

I frowned at him.  He’d completely lost me now.  “What do you mean? Are you on about the flowers last week?”

“No.”
              “Then, what? I haven’t had any other deliveries.”

“That is because I intercepted them and told Elaine that I would bring them up here to you myself.” He stood up to briefly walk out of my office, bending down to retrieve something off of the floor.

“Now, I know that we cannot control the actions of the others, but if you could kindly ask whoever it was that had sent you these, to kindly refrain from doing so in the future, I would greatly appreciate it. This is not the kind of image that we want to project here.”  He brought from behind his back a huge bouquet that would have once upon a time been as beautiful as the roses that Milligan had sent me last week.  But, these were rotted, turning to mulch.  They were dead.  I felt a shiver go down my spine.  I didn’t know what to say to him.  They were only dead flowers, but to me, they were something so much more chilling.

“Carrie?”

“Yes?” Startled, I looked back up at him.

“Will you please have a friendly word with whoever sent you these?”

“Yeah, of course I will.  Sorry, Steve.  I’ll make sure that this doesn’t happen again.”

He passed me the card that had come with the flowers.  “See that you do.”

But, I couldn’t reply to him.  I was too distracted by the sight of the dead flowers lying on my desk, stinking up the room with their putrid smell. I didn’t know why they were affecting quite like they were.  They were just flowers.  But, they were dead flowers.  It felt like an omen.

I carefully opened up the card.  I should have known what I was going to see.

‘Carrie.  Come to me. XOXO’

I ripped the card up into a million pieces and scattered the pieces in the waste paper bin. I felt sick.  What the hell was wrong with that guy? Why would anyone send someone dead flowers?

I couldn’t get anything else done at work.  I had already taken the rotten smelling bunch of flowers and thrown them in a bin far, far away from my office.  But, that didn’t stop me from thinking about them.  And, Milligan.  What had motivated him to do such a thing?  I felt sick with dread.  Why would he do this to me? It was clear that they were from him.  I didn’t need a name on a card to tell me otherwise.  It was the exact same message that I had got with the other flowers.  Why wouldn’t he just let this all go? What we had wasn’t enough to fight for.  Even so, this wasn’t meant in a way to get me back.  This was something else.  Come to me.  What the hell did that mean?

I couldn’t wait until it was time to go home.  There was no point in hanging around the office, anyway.  I couldn’t seem to get anything done and I didn’t have any pressing matters to attend to.  My head was a complete mess.  It wasn’t just about the flowers, though.  It was about the meaning behind them. It was everything.

I walked out of the office, mindful of everyone around me.  I didn’t want Milligan to appear in front of me like he had after the flower delivery last week. But, he was nowhere to be seen.  There were plenty of people milling about, going about their own business, making their way home after a hard day’s work.  There was no boogeyman lurking in the shadows. 

I made my way over to the other side of town, heading to the hospital.  I needed to go and check on Dee before I went home.  I’d been able to spend a little more time with her over the last few days. It hadn’t made the slightest bit of difference to her condition.  There had been no change at all.  It was like I was talking to a breathing corpse.  I hated to think of her in that way, but I was starting to run out of hope.  She’d been this way for ten days now and the doctors were still all clueless as to what was wrong with her.  It was very disheartening.

I walked into her room.  I didn’t bother to hang about in the waiting room this evening.  There was no point.  Sylvie wasn’t there.  I just hoped that it meant she had some good news about her grandson.  The nurse was just straightening out Dee’s sheets when I walked in.

“Carrie! Good to see you.”

We were now on first name terms with most of the nursing staff here now.  “Hey, Colette.  Any news?”

“Nothing yet. Sorry.”

I just smiled at her.  I knew that they were all doing their very best for Destiny.  We said these same words every single time I came here.  It was getting to be like some kind of ritual.

“Your friend was in here a moment ago.”

I looked over at her with sharp eyes, “Who do you mean?”

“Harper, of course.  He’s gone for a quick coffee.” She looked puzzled for a moment at my tone.  I breathed out a sigh of relief. I had thought that she had meant Milligan had been here.

“I’ll be back in here to check on her in a bit. You know the drill.  Any changes that you see and press that buzzer, we’ll all come running.”

She said the same old thing to me ever time and as of yet, I had never had any cause to press the buzzer.

“Hey, Destiny.” I tried to sound cheerful for her.  Sure, I was still pretty doubtful that she’d be able to hear a single word that I said, but I felt like I had to try.

I sat down next to her on the bed and tried to work out what to say.  I wasn’t in the most chatty of moods. I let my head drop to the bed, resting next to Dee’s hand, ever mindful of all the wires and tubes that were stuck in her.

“Carrie.”

I looked up to see Harper standing in the doorway.  I started to smile, but something in the way that he was standing and looking at me made me stop.

“What’s wrong?”

“Can I have a word with you? Out here?” He motioned behind him to the corridor.

Uh oh.  This didn’t sound too good.

“Don’t look so worried.  I just don’t want to talk about it in here.” He finally smiled and I felt some of the tension drain from me. It didn’t have to be anything particularly serious for him not to want to speak about it in front of Dee.  He firmly believed that she could hear everything that we were saying.  I wished that I’d had that same kind of faith.  Most of the time, I just felt plain stupid.

“What’s up?” I asked him as soon as he had shut the door behind us.

“Carrie.  I didn’t want to tell you this.  Not on top of everything else that has been happening lately.  But, someone delivered a bunch of dead roses to Destiny’s room this evening.  They were addressed to you.”

I sucked in a breath.  They were only flowers.  Only dead flowers.  Why was I feeling such dread? I felt myself sag and it was only the wall that was holding me upright.

“Carrie.  I knew that I shouldn’t have told you, but I thought you should know.  Are you okay? You’ve gone pale.”

I shook my head at him and let out a shaky laugh.  I wasn’t actually planning on telling Harper about the flowers that I had received at work, but now it seemed like I had no choice.  “I had another bunch of them delivered at work.  Dead roses.”

“What?” He raised his voice, drawing the attention of a couple of the nurses that were walking down the corridor.

“Yeah, Steve was pretty pissed about it.”

“I don’t give a crap what Steve thought of it. This is Milligan, isn’t it?”

I didn’t need to reply to him.  He already knew the answer to that.

“What is his fucking problem?” He ranted.

“I don’t know.  And, watch your language.”  I said, looking around to make sure no one had overheard him swearing.

“Why is he doing this?”

“I said I don’t know. Just drop it.  It’s just some crappy dead flowers.  He’s the one who is wasting his time and money on this.  Just forget about it.”

Harper shook his head at me but he refrained from commenting any further on it.  I was glad of that.  I didn’t need him shouting at me on top of everything else.

“Where are they?”

“I put them in the bin.  I didn’t think that you needed to see that.”

“Good.  Thank you.”  The way I said it, I hoped that he got the message that this was the end of it.  End of discussion.  I was putting Milligan and those stupid dead flowers out of my mind.

We spent a bit time with Dee and although the conversation was a little strained to start with, Harper soon loosened up enough to be normal again and he soon had me laughing like usual.

We picked up some Chinese on the way home and fell into our apartment building with me totally cracking up at some lame ass joke me made up.  In the lift, he kept threatening to jump and I was shouting at him for being such a kid.  He knew that I hated elevators. It wasn’t just about the claustrophobia.  I just hated them.  I think that it was the whole falling helplessly to your death part that got to me the most.  We were still laughing and bickering like an old married couple as we stepped out and walked down the small corridor to our place.  We both stopped dead and fell silent. 

There was another bouquet of dead roses sitting outside our apartment.

The dead rotting petals were dripping in blood this time.

“That’s it!” Harper roared and glared over at me.  “I’m phoning the police.”

I walked forward, not wanting to look at them but not being able to look anywhere else. “No police.” I said in a dead voice.  All I could think about was when I had pricked my finger on that single rose.  This reminded me of that, but on a much grander scale.

“Carrie! This isn’t normal.”

“I know that, but what exactly would I say to them? A man who isn’t even my ex is sending me flowers? Do you have any idea how stupid that would make me sound?”

“They are not just any flowers, Carrie.  They’re dead.  They’re covered in blood.  That’s threatening in itself.”

I glared over at him.  “No police, Harper.”

“Well, I’ll go down to the club and I’ll sort this out myself, then.”