Burn Into Me (29 page)

I sigh. “Sure. Whatever, man.”

After the door slams shut, I pick up the tablet, intending to switch off the video of the bike that is still playing. But before I press the stop button, the bike’s aerodynamic shape catches my eye, and for some reason, I am transfixed. I replay the video and read up on the bike’s technical details. It’s pretty amazing—an electric superbike that can do the quarter mile in under ten seconds.

And for a few minutes I forget about Elle.
 

A flicker of renewed energy entering my veins, I get up and have a quick shower in the ensuite. I change into my riding leathers, and pick up my helmet before taking the elevator down to the car park. I get on my bike and ride out into the dark.
 

As I take a deep breath, the biting air burns my lungs, but I don’t care. What I need right now is to feel the icy wind in my face and to go as fast as I can.
 

That’s all I need right now—an escape.

Elle

“Rose, I really need your advice.”

To her credit, my sister doesn’t look shocked to see me when she opens the door of my childhood home, even though I must look like some unkempt, hollow-eyed loony.
 

“Come in.” She opens the door wide, but I remain rooted on the threshold, scanning the hallway behind her.
 

“Don’t worry, mom’s out. Won’t be back till late tonight.” Rose puts her arm around my shoulders and ushers me in.
 

I breathe a sigh of relief. The last few days have been the most miserable in my life. I’ve hardly eaten, I’ve hardly slept. After yesterday’s disaster at the occupation site, my thoughts have been tossing and turning over what I should do. Talk to him? Apologize? Or just let it go? And not ever see him again? My heart sank just considering it.

The chaos in my brain, with muddled thoughts jumping from one extreme to another, made me realize I had to talk to someone. I tried to call Damon, but he was working and didn’t have time to see me until later tonight when he was planning to join a get-together with some racers, but I had no intention of meeting him there.

I tried Rose next, and when she didn’t answer her phone, I decided to visit her at the house. With exams around the corner, she’d either be in the library or at home studying. I was right to bet on her being home at eight on a Thursday morning.
 

I sit down at the round table in the dining room while Rose goes into the kitchen. She comes back with two steaming mugs of milk tea without sugar, just how I like it.
 

“Tell me what’s going on,” she says.

I explain to her what happened between Ryder and me, from the charity dinner to the building occupation. How he bought my building and paid my rent without telling me, and how I ended up at the building site trying to stop the occupation.
 

Rose nods and sips her tea, occasionally asking me to clarify.
 

“So you’re telling me you’re upset that he cleared your rent.”

I nod. “And installed an alarm system, including cameras. Probably to spy on me, to control me.”

“But he’s apologized for not telling you.”

“Yeah, he has, but that doesn’t make it okay. I’m still pissed. He’s a bloody control freak. I mean, who does that, buy a whole friggin’ building just to keep an eye on me?”

Rose puts down her mug, spilling some tea on the green formica table. “Someone who cares a whole lot about you, obviously. Don’t you think you’re overreacting? What if he bought it and installed the alarm to protect you, to keep you safe? You always think the worst of people. It’s the same with mom. I know she can be a real pain sometimes, but she does love you. She’s just really bad at showing it.”

I shoot her an icy glare. “That’s easy for you to say. You’re her favorite.”

“What? Do you think she doesn’t lay into me? You weren’t around when she gave me hell for coming second in violin competitions, for not getting a perfect SAT score. I’m never good enough for her.”

“Come on, compared to me you’re an angel. You should count yourself lucky you’ve got me to compare yourself with.”

“Hey, you’re still my sister. I want the best for you. And I can’t exactly fault Ryder for caring so much about your safety—to care so much about you—to risk you getting angry with him.”

I don’t want to admit it, but she’s right. Deep down I know all he cares about is for me to be safe, that’s why he installed the system. And it has not only benefited me, but everyone else in the building, too. Even more when the long-overdue repairs and upgrades are completed.

I let out a long sigh. “I know what you’re saying, but it still doesn’t make it right. He should’ve asked me first.”

“And what would you have said? That you’d be okay with it? You know as well as I do that you’d never agree to it. Knowing you, you’d be at his throat, and you’d be breaking up with him there and then. I think he knows you better than you realize.”

“Still, he shouldn’t have done it.” I look down at the table, tracing the edge of the mug round and round with my finger. “Now I have to pay him back. I have to.”

I take a sip of my cooled tea, listening to the soothing ticking of the wall clock.
 

Rose breaks the silence between us. “Elle, I’ve got to tell you something. After I found out you were seeing Ryder, I’ve been asking Alice about him. I wasn’t sure what you were getting yourself into. This whole dating thing is so new for you, you’ve never even had a boyfriend.”

“Hey, you didn’t tell her about me, did you?”

“No, of course not. I just made up some excuse. Anyway, she told me that he helps out his friends and his staff whenever they need it without expecting anything in return. But he does it on the sly, not telling anyone about it. I think I told you about Alice’s dad. Well, he’s also helped out his PA, when her ex moved overseas and refused to pay alimony, even though she’s raising his three kids. Ryder arranged for monthly payments to made to her account, and she assumed her ex had changed his mind. It was years before she found out where the money really came from. So, get over yourself and just accept it.”

I shake my head. “No way. I don’t know how long it’s going to take me, but I’ll pay back every cent.”

“It’s your call, sis. But what happened at the building site was your fault. You can’t blame him for being mad at you. The least you should do is explain the situation to him and apologize. That’s the least he deserves. ”

Closing my eyes, I put my head in my hands. “God, I don’t know if I can ever face him again. What’s the point anyway? Even if I do talk to him, I doubt he’ll believe me.”
 

“I think you’re scared that he will. Because if he does, you’d have to consider if you’ll forgive
him
. It’s so much easier to put the blame on him and push him away rather than opening up and trying to work things out.”

Rose’s warm hand squeezes my shoulder.
 

“Listen, he deserves an apology. Talk to him. I’ve noticed that when you’re with him, he brings out a side of you I’ve never seen before. A happy side. I’ve never even seen you smile so much. It’s ridiculous to end what you two have because of some misunderstanding and your stupid pride.”

I shake my head. “I don’t know.”

“Just listen to your big sister. And while you’re at it, make sure you grovel so he’ll take you back.”
 

I lift my head to scowl at her, but when I spot the mischievous glint in her eyes, I can’t help but grin.

I push back my chair and stand up.
 

I’ve made up my mind. I’m going to see Ryder. Not to grovel, as Rose suggests, but to apologize and let him know that I will not accept anything from him. I am determined to pay back every cent I owe him. And I will not take no for an answer.
 

The thought of seeing him again causes a spark of excitement to blossom in my chest. I’ve missed him so much. Even if he doesn’t believe me and doesn’t want anything to do with me again, I’m dying to see him again, even though this could well be the last time.
 

“Thanks, sis.” I pull Rose into a hug, and she follows me into the hallway. As I head to the door, my footsteps feel a lot lighter than when I first came in, like a load has fallen off my shoulders. My mouth even stretches into a broad smile.

I stretch out my hand to reach the door knob, but to my surprise, it turns by itself.
 

The door opens.
 

And my smile vanishes when I see who appears on the other side of the door.
 

Ryder

I don’t know where I’m going. I have no plan, no destination. But damn, it feels good to be out on my bike.

I accelerate hard at every traffic light, pushing my bike to its limits, and lean into every sharp turn, relishing the heady feeling it produces. At 100 mph, I’m at one with my machine. I savor the speed, the wind in my hair, the smell of the road—I feel free, I feel in control. The pressure that has been building inside of me in the past few days dissipates. God, I needed this so badly.
 

I leave the city and ride along the highway—the same one where I had my first street race, with Elle. It feels like a lifetime ago. Since then, so much has happened. In the span of only a few weeks she has turned my world on its side. She’s rushed in, burned away my heart and left me with nothing but an empty space in my chest. A shudder goes through me, and I suddenly feel the freezing wind slicing through my leathers, chilling my bones.
 

The neon sign for a 24/7 diner looming on my left couldn’t have come at a better time—a hot drink is exactly what I need right now. I get off the highway and park my bike out front. When I step in, the warmth of the diner envelops me like a blanket, and I breathe a sigh of relief. The jukebox is playing an old Chuck Berry song, and the wonderful aroma of greasy food fills my nostrils.
 

I settle into one of the red booths and order a coffee. The cup feels comforting between my hands, and a sense of calm pervades my body with every sip of the hot liquid.
 

But when I hear a commotion outside, I know my moment of peace will soon be over. I’m right—a group of eight or so street racers enters the diner, laughing and dissing each other, but the handful of other late diners don’t even look up. While the music on the jukebox changes to Eminem’s “Lose Yourself”, I take a big gulp of my coffee, planning my getaway. I hope to get back on the road without attracting their attention. But while I eye my escape route, I catch one of the racers gazing at me, and I recognize him immediately—Mikey Miller. Sunglasses on, he strides towards me with an exaggerated swagger.

“Hey, you. You Elle’s boyfriend, right? That RR—that your ride outside?”

“Yeah. Mikey Miller?”

“The one and only. So, what you doing here? Looking to race?”

I wince inwardly. This is exactly what I was afraid of when he approached me. I promised Elle I wouldn’t take part in any more street races, and I don’t intend to break that promise, even though we’re no longer together.
 

I shake my head. “No, I was just having coffee. Minding my own business.”

“When you park your bike in front of this diner, it becomes my business. It means you’re up for a race.”

“I guess I hadn’t read the sign.”

“Trying to be a wise-ass?”

“Wise enough to stay out of trouble.”

“Ha. You mean that shorty of yours, huh?”

I knit my brow. “What do you mean?”

“You so whipped by her that you follow her commands like a fucking dog? What kind of man are you?”

A sudden hot rage rises inside of me. I knew it was a bad idea when I made that promise to Elle. He’s right—what man am I if I blindly follow what a woman tells me to do? I think of what happened when I blindly followed my mother—I got dumped like a piece of trash. And now the same has happened with Elle.
 

I growl, “No one tells me what to do.”

Mikey points his gloved finger at me. “Prove it. Show me what you’re made of. You and me, we race the quarter mile.”

“I don’t have any cash on me.”

“That’s not a problem. I’ll collect later. I know you’re good for it.”

“I, uh…”

He leans over, his head so close that I see the burst vessels in the whites of his eyes. “You scared I whip your ass? You chicken? Or you afraid that that shorty of yours won’t give you no pussy no more?”

I grip the edge of the seat, determined to keep my cool. “I’m not scared. I’d just like to finish my coffee first.”

“Okay, let’s talk stakes. I’d say thirty Gs.”

What the hell? Is he out of his mind? But I can’t exactly beat him down—it would make me look like a dumb-ass.

I nod.

“So we’re on. Sweet.” Mikey slaps his hand on the table, causing my coffee cup to rattle on its saucer, and he spins around to sit down at another booth. Curling my finger into the handle of the cup, I let out the breath I didn’t realize I was holding.
 

What the hell have I done? I’ve agreed to race against one of the most dangerous, unscrupulous players on the street racing circuit. I must have some kind of death wish. But for now, the prospect of the thrill outweighs the risk. I need to experience that heady feeling again; to feel the adrenaline coursing through my blood. And a small, dark part of me relishes in defying Elle. I’m not letting her control me. She doesn’t care about me, so why should I care about her?

Taking a last sip of coffee, I stand up and head to the door, tossing a twenty-dollar bill on the counter.
 

“Let’s do it,” I say to Mikey without looking at him.

The icy night air hits me when I walk out the door, and the moon that was shining so brightly before is covered with a thick cloud blanket. I can just make out my RR, now surrounded by an assortment of modified sport bikes with their chromed wheels, extended swing arms, and custom-painted tanks. I put on my helmet, ignoring the insults and wisecracks by Mikey and his gang, who are right behind me. I know they’re just trying to rile me up, to get inside my head before the race. But the racket of revving engines soon drowns out their voices as we set off onto the two-lane highway.