Burned (4 page)

Frustrated she drove until she reached Regan’s house. Regan should be home from work since it was almost 1:00 o’clock in the morning. She usually got home from the television station around midnight. Racing from the car to the front porch to avoid getting soaked, she rang the doorbell.

The front porch light clicked on bathing her in a bright light as Regan opened the door. “Lincoln, what are you doing out in this weather and this late?”

“Can I come in?  I’ve been driving around for hours, and I don’t want to go home.”

Regan dragged her sister inside. “Good thing I heard the doorbell. I was getting ready to take a bath. Anyhow, you look a mess. Have you been crying?”

Lincoln flopped down on the sofa. “He’s lying to me. I know he is.”

Regan sat next to her sister. “Lincoln, you have got to stop obsessing about Anthony cheating on you. You don’t have any proof, and he hasn’t given you any reason to think he is doing anything wrong. Give the man a break.”

“Regan, I do not imagine this stuff in my head. I will get proof before I throw everything away. I know I sound like a broken record, and you’re tired of me whining about it. I have nowhere else to turn, Regan. If you could just let me tell you why I think, he is cheating then maybe you’ll get where I’m coming from.”

“Baby, the water is ready. Are you coming up?”

Regan turned to answer Orlando. “Honey, I will be up in a minute. Lincoln stopped by.”

“Oh, hey, Lincoln,” Orlando shouted from upstairs.

Lincoln got off the sofa and headed for the door. “Oh my God, I didn’t think about Orlando being here. I’m gone. You two get back to your evening.”

“Wait. I’m not letting you go anywhere this upset. You’re staying here tonight. I don’t want you driving in this weather. Your mind won’t be on the road but on Anthony.”

“No, I’m not staying. Whatever is going on upstairs is private. I’ll be fine, really.” She ran to her car ignoring Regan’s commands for her to stay. There was no way Regan would chase her wearing a short silk robe and in her bare feet.  She was too girly to get wet and muddy.

Lincoln backed out the driveway narrowly missing a car coming down the street. She saw Regan raging on the porch like a mad woman, but she kept going. If she could rally the determination, she would keep driving until she reached Chicago. She could use a hug from her mother and cup of her special hot cocoa.

The rain had stopped by the time Lincoln got home. Inside the apartment, she typed a reply to Regan’s text message letting her know she’d made it home. She put the phone on the charger, and she went into the bathroom to turn on the water in the tub.  She waited for it to warm before putting in the stopper and pouring in a handful of lavender scented bath soap. The small bathroom quickly filled with the aroma of a spring day.

Undressing she dumped the clothes in the hamper and slid into the warm sudsy water. She didn’t care her shoulder length hair wasn’t tied back. She didn’t care about anything at this point. What she wanted was a clear mind to ease the numbness taking her over. Closing her eyes, she tried to relax.

She was a single 28-year old woman in the prime of her life.  The stress Anthony was putting her through made her feel unattractive and undesirable.  If he’d lost interested in their relationship, she could deal with that. What she couldn’t deal with was his sneaking around. All he had to do was say he wanted out, and she would grant his wish. It would hurt, but that was the ugly part about being in love. She had broken a few hearts, and she wasn’t immune to getting burned either. Sometimes being in love with the same person is not meant to last forever.

When the water turned cool, she got out the tub, dried off and dressed for bed. She turned back the covers on the bed when she remembered she’d left the phone on the charger. Lincoln retrieved the phone and noticed a missed call from Anthony, but he did leave a voicemail message. When she listened to the voicemail, there was no verbal message, but the noise in the background caught her attention. Lincoln promptly returned Anthony’s call but got his voicemail. Panic took over.
Is he hurt
? She paced the living room.
What if he was calling me to meet him at the hospital or something
?  She redialed his number again, and it went straight to voicemail.

Baffled, she listened to the voicemail over and over.  She had to have listened to it thirty times before giving up. The muffled sound stuck in her ears. She couldn’t make out if it was moaning or his butt was sitting on the phone dialing her number by mistake. Anthony had a bad habit of keeping his cell phone in his back pocket instead of on a belt clip or in a shirt pocket.

In the kitchen, she looked for the list of phone numbers Anthony left in case of an emergency. Nick’s number was at the bottom of the list. Lincoln held the phone against her chest pondering what to do since it was so late in the evening. Firefighters rarely got a full night’s sleep and to wake him up over nothing would weigh on her conscious.

She tapped the number in her phone but did not hit send. She bit her bottom lip. She was turning into one of those women she claimed she would never be—a worry-wart. And the notion of anything happening to him was silly. Anthony was an experienced firefighter, and if he’d been in an accident, someone would have called her by now.

Her fears turned to anger. She returned to the bedroom and crawled between the sheets.  She lay on back looking at the ceiling and said, “Besides, he isn’t at work, dummy! If he did call, it was a freaking mistake.”

The next morning, Lincoln arrived at work tired and in a bad mood. She’d spent the majority of the night tossing and turning, finally drifting off only to have the alarm clock jar her out of bed.

Evelyn sat at her desk humming. The two shared a workspace. “Good morning, Lincoln. How was your day off yesterday?”

Lincoln rubbed her eyes, trying not to smear the extra concealer it took to cover the dark circles under her eyes from the lack of sleep. Her light caramel skin would not be able to hide any blemishes or darkness under her eyes. “It was productive,” she replied grumpily.

“Are you in a bad mood this morning?  What has you down or should I say kept you up all night?  Was Anthony off last night too?”  Evelyn’s smile was more on the sinful side than playful.

“Anthony and I don’t hump all night long, Evelyn. Good grief, get your mind out the gutter or get a man.”

“Excuse me for kidding around,” Evelyn snapped back.

Lincoln felt bad jumping on the woman. Evelyn was one of the nicest people who worked in her department. When she had to run a personal errand, Evelyn would cover for her. “I’m sorry I snapped at you. I’m not feeling well this morning.  Plus, I’ve got a lot on my mind.”

Evelyn softened her stance and asked. “Do you want to talk about it?  I’m a good listener.”

“Thanks for the offer but it has to do with my sister’s wedding. I have a lot left to do for Regan’s wedding. I didn’t think being maid of honor would be so stressful.”

“Girl, that’s a demanding responsibility. That’s why I refuse to do it. I’m happy to serve as a bridesmaid or an usher. Less stress that way.”

Lincoln managed to smile. “I should have let Carter do it. Then she would be the one tearing out her hair waiting for folks to call back. I have to throw a bachelorette party for Regan, and I have no venue because the woman won’t return my calls.”

“Look at it this way, Lincoln. Regan can repay the favor at your wedding. When will that be by the way?  I want to make sure I attend your wedding. I bet a firefighter wedding is awesome with the groomsmen dressed in uniform. You could have the trucks lined up on the street outside the church…”

Lincoln pinched the nerve between her eyes. “Evelyn, please stop. I can’t do but one wedding at a time. Besides, I’m not getting married anytime soon.”

“I don’t believe that. I bet Anthony is waiting until the right moment to pop the question. I have never seen a man so crazy in love before.”

She had thought the same until the end of last year. “Well, we’ll see. I’m going to get some coffee. I’ll be back in a few minutes.”

Walking down the hall, she spoke to a couple of people before entering the break room. Selecting the coffee she wanted, she put it in the machine and waited for it to brew. While waiting for the coffee to finish, she removed her cell phone from the pocket of her blazer to listen to the voicemail again. Maybe she was too tired last night to comprehend the message.

She shook her head; it sounded the same. It was either a shallow moan or some other non-verbal sound too weak to detect. It was as if the mouthpiece of the phone was covered with something.  “It had to be Anthony’s butt,” she said sliding the phone back in her pocket.

Taking her cup from the coffee maker, she went to the counter to add cream and sugar. Her phone vibrated. She answered without looking at who was calling. “Hello.”

“Good morning, baby. What’s with the dry voice?”

Her heart raced. “Anthony, where are you?  I tried to call you a few times last night to no avail.”

“I know, that’s why I’m calling you now. We had a long night at the firehouse. I didn’t have time to call or pick up my phone until now. So what’s going on?”

He is determined to keep up the lie. “For one, the message you left me last night. Did your butt dial my number again?”

“Oh that. Y-yeah, I didn’t mean to leave that. You can delete the message.”

Now he is stuttering…a sure sign he’s lying
. Anthony hated to lie, and when he did, he would stutter. “Are you coming to my place after work or going home?”

“Oh dang, I promised Kevin I would help him remodel their basement. Do you want to come over there with me?”

He knew dang well she didn’t. Gwen was not a favorite person of hers. “No, you go ahead. I’ll find something else to do. Look, I have to go. Call me whenever.”

“Wait. I don’t get a goodbye, or I love you?”

“You pick which one you want and say it on my behalf, Anthony.”

“What’s with the attitude, Lincoln?  I’m sorry I’m busy and haven’t been around to hold your hand. You know what my life is like.”

“I’m not asking you to hold my hand. I’m asking for a little respect.”

“Now I don’t respect you? Is it that time of the month for you?”

His anger fueled hers. How dare he turn the tables and make this my fault. “I wish I could blame my attitude on that but this time it has to do with you. Anthony, while you’re drinking beer and helping Kevin tonight, maybe you should put some thought into our relationship and where it is going. I don’t see it going anywhere right now. What do you see happening between us?”

“Damn, woman, you’ve caught the wedding fever. Lincoln, I won’t be pressured into getting married. I’ll do it when I’m ready.”

A few IRS agents filtered into the break room. She tucked herself into a corner for privacy. “I’m not going to argue with you over the phone. We’ll talk about this in person when you have time for me.” She clicked off the phone and took her coffee from the counter. Her bad day just got worse.

Evelyn bumped into Lincoln in the hallway. “Lincoln, was the coffee machine broken?  You look as if you could bite the head off babies. Let me call Anthony to come get you. Whatever is bothering you is not going away, and I want you to keep your job.”

For the sake of her pride, she had to pretend everything was kosher with Anthony. “You’re right; I shouldn’t be here today. My stomachache is getting worse, and I should go home so my man can take care of me.”

“Go ahead. I’ll let the supervisor know you left ill.”

Lincoln got her purse from the desk drawer and left. The brisk May air smacked her in the face as she stepped out of the Federal building. The walk to the parking garage she used had her battling against the force of the wind. The strong breeze rolling off the lake slowed her steps when she wanted to be in a hurry.

Inside the car, she started it and cranked up the heat. “Anthony, why are you doing this to me,” she cried as she laid her head on the steering wheel.

Chapter Four

Lincoln was sitting on the sofa balancing her checkbook when Anthony let himself into the apartment. It had been exactly five days since she’d last seen him. They had spoken on the telephone, and the conversations were short and usually about nothing in specific.

Puzzled why he was here, she waited for him to speak as he tossed his duffel bag on the floor and kick his shoes off by the door instead of putting them in the closet. He finally looked in her direction and gave her a chin nod and nothing else.

She bit down on the tip of her ink pen and went back to what she was doing when he walked into the kitchen without further acknowledging her. The silent treatment she got from him was nothing new. For months, he had been ignoring her. Regan insisted she was overblowing the situation when she complained about Anthony. But what Regan didn’t know is how long it has been happening. Regan was so wrapped up in her wedding the excuses Lincoln made for Anthony’s absence when she came alone went unquestioned.

Lincoln unfolded her legs from under her and put the checkbook on the coffee table.  She was going to confront him. Barefooted she walked into the kitchen. He was standing at the sink talking on the phone. His voice was low, and she couldn’t make out what he was saying. If he were talking to Jon or Orlando, the conversation would be loud and not so discreet.

She went to the fridge and got a can of Pepsi. Popping the tab loudly, he turned in her direction. “Hey, I gotta go,” he said into the phone.

Lincoln sipped the foam brimming over the opening of the can.  She basked him in an icy stare. He was sweating as he studied her face. She continued to stare at him hoping it intimidated the hell out of him. She wanted him to feel the sting from the resentment she had for him. He was lying to her, and he needed to know she knew.

“Who were you talking to?” she asked, ending the staring before the tension got too intense, and Anthony made an excuse to leave the apartment. And if that happened, she wouldn’t see him again for another couple of days or weeks. His disappearing from Cleveland on his days off without telling a soul began early last year and has continued to this day.