Burned Gasoline (11 page)

              “The longer I stay here, the harder your nipple gets.” As a taunting move he touched down then pulled away the vibration from her nipple. Touched down and pulled away. Touched down and pulled away.

              “Oh, please. Don’t tease me like that.”

              “Are you in pain?” He answered softly and let his tongue lavished her nipple with wetness over again.

              “No.” She whispered, her chest heaving faster, leaving her almost breathless, and making her lean her face into one of her arms held up along the sides of her body.

              He was making her crazy, and with nothing to grab hold off except her own hair she bit into her own flesh to quiet her squealing. The vibrating motion moved slowly across her chest to her other nipple, leaving the first one bereft. His mind must have caught on as his warm mouth suddenly covered it completely, lavishing the taut nipple with slow encircling licks.              

              “I’m gonna come soon, if you continue this.” She panted, her voice was high and tight. In an instance his touch was gone.

              “No!” She yelled, starting to open her eyes.

              “Eyes shut, sweetie.” But in a quick flash she had seen him sitting back on his heels on the floor at the bottom of the bed, watching her. “Eyes shut. Hands on your head. It’s very simple.”

              “Damn it.” She hissed and once again pressed her forehead into the skin of her arm, holding her other hand tightly above her head.

              “When this is over, you won’t need to use those words again.” He hummed, and placed the vibration straight onto the other nipple, making her suck in her stomach and nibble at the skin of her own arm again. The buzzing sound suddenly moved away from her breast making her moan in disapproval. The intense feeling moved south over her stomach, and landed at the apex at her thighs.

              “Spread your legs.” He mumbled against the skin of her breast, until she opened up wide and let his hand disappear between her thighs.

              Minutes turned to hours, and for the first time in her life her minds wasn’t able to recount anything else happening around her except Jefferson’s steady hold, vibrating every part of her body from intense pleasure to soft sensual play. If his hands would have held a paintbrush instead of a vibrator every inch of her body would have been colored in all the hues of the rainbow.

              Sparkles flew in front of her eyes when his voice whispered naughty, wicked, dirty ideas in her ear. As soon as he had stepped into the bedroom earlier the whole area turned from a simple bedroom, into an erotic dream chamber she didn’t want to escape from.

              He did as he promised. Made her come so hard she didn’t know what had hit her. The amount of times her breath had hitched in her throat when she thought she couldn’t come again, but did anyway, in full force, were uncountable. Just to have him kiss her all over, touching every inch of her body with his fingers where the vibrator couldn’t fit, and then just start it all over again until her knees wouldn’t keep her sitting up anymore, and the help of his strong arms couldn’t do anymore work so she let herself slowly fall in a sexual trance back onto the comforter underneath her.

              Writhing in sensual pleasure, she combed her own body with her hands, touching all the places he had touched. Retracing his journey, trusting he had actually been there, and that it was not just a wonderful, wet, magical dream. Touching her own skin with light strokes, circling her nipples, until a nudge to her right cheek poked her interest, letting her eyelids flutter open halfway.

              He was wonderful as always. Hard, throbbing, and with his hand encircling his erection he pushed himself against her face once more, and as she turned her head slightly she let his hand guide his cock between her plump lips slowly. His erection sought deep adventures inside her mouth, his hand directed his wants. His low grunts and heady breathes awoke her spirit once more, and she realized she would do anything for this man. Anything.

              His thrusts suddenly changed speed and became slow, but powerful, making sure every inch at the inside of her mouth and throat tasted him. Felt him. Remembered him. When she swallowed tomorrow, she would only taste him, nothing else. All her mouth would ever remember would be the slick taste of his cum, running down her tongue and into her throat until she couldn’t swallow anymore. It seemed whatever he wished for was fulfilled, and with a last encircling kiss of her lips to his throbbing top she managed to suck up the very last wetness he had just poured down her tongue, deep down her tight throat.

              Suddenly his knees buckled, and as his arms bent down making only his hands hold up his wobbly large figure, his softening cock slipped out of her mouth and he replaced it with his lips. Knowing he could not only taste her but himself as well.

              “What you did was… amazing. Thank you. Really.” He managed to mumble into her mouth, feeling her lips turn into a grin still molding his lips.

              “I’ll do that anytime of the day. Any day of the year. I’m still high from your treatment of me… I’ll do whatever you want.”

              “Oh, really? That’s a dangerous thing to say. You don’t know what my mind has in store. Be careful what you wish for.”

              Her hands went up to cup his face, and she dragged him down on top of her and let her thighs open wide, inviting him to enter her. Again he grew hard, wanted to fill her to the brim, and way beyond. Just as he had done in her mouth.

              No hesitation occurred in his mind, and as he moved himself over her, and closed his body with hers, his newfound erection had no problem sliding right into her wet opening. By its own means his cock disappeared between her smooth lips, and her inner muscles grabbed it and pulled him in. Deep.

              “You want me going slow like that?” He whispered into the skin of her neck where he’d buried his face.

              “Oh holy God yes.”

              “You like that?”

              “Oh God yes.” She shuddered, tugging hard at the hair on his head.

              “Lots of talk about God right now. You going all religious on me tonight?” A smile went across his lips.

              “Oh God yes. Oh my God!”

              A muffled amused laugh escaped him and he nuzzled his face deeper into the crook of her neck. With light kisses he covered her skin all the way down to her shoulder, matching the lazily slow rhythm he was creating within her.

              “Oh fuck!” She said, and opened her eyes as if in surprise. “I’m gonna come, again. Oh my God!”

              “Go ahead, babe. Come. I’m not going any faster. I’ll fuck you like this all night if I have to, no matter how much your hands grab my hair or my butt trying to push me forward. Come. Go ahead. Come.”

              “I need you closer.”

              “I can’t get any closer baby. I’m all the way inside you, and then some.”

             “Closer.”  She whispered. “Closer.”

              He buried himself deeper, if even possible, and dug his muscular arms underneath her and around her back. She hugged him, tightly, pressing him down on top of her until they didn’t feel like two anymore, but one. Infused with each other they moved in sync. Rocking slowly. Moaning. Breathing. Slowly, oh so slowly, until his mouth founds hers and the last link between them was no longer broken. And right there, in that moment, as she screamed in her pleasurable release he told her he loved her.

Chapter Thirteen

              The morning right after didn’t start out as she had planned at all. Jefferson’s alarm had made him jump out of bed and into the shower early and left her abandoned in the now too big bed, all alone. The final thing she remembered from last night, before he pushed her off the edge again, was his love for her, then, to not make a big deal about it, jokingly asked her to straddle his face. After that it all went black. Deliciously black, once more, into sparkling stars, entering a delusional universe far, far away from her bedroom. His face had been glistening wet when she’d noticed him again, kissing her inner thighs, blissfully smiling back up at her.

              Now the same man was humming up the falsest of songs in the shower, but she couldn’t do much more than roll herself to the side of the bed and find her pajama bottoms on the floor from the night before.

              As she stood up and brushed her hair, eyeing herself in the mirror, she noticed his cell going off time after time on the nightstand. She grabbed it trying to completely shut off the alarm, but instead she was met with by the picture of a cute brunette, smiling at her from the background of the phone when a text message suddenly came. At the same moment Jefferson walked back into the bedroom and hugged her tightly from behind. Kissing that soft spot at her neck he knew she loved so much.

              “Amber. Um… not that it’s really my business, but since you’re almost inside my pants I’m going to ask anyway. Who’s Amber?”

              He froze, and she could see how his tongue was pushing anxiously against the inside of his cheek, the same way it did every time she’d ask if she could stay over at his house. Obviously he was contemplating a good enough answer that might, or might not, get him punched on the spot.

              “It seems like a difficult question for you?” Her irritation could not be mistaken. “Please take your hand out of my pants.” With a large side step she let his hand slip out of her pajama bottoms.

              “Oh, and look, now she’s asking if you’re heading down to the Mind-blowing Mob tonight for some fun? Oh, and now she misses you. Wow, you better hurry down there, she seems to be waiting.”

              She picked up his phone from the nightstand and tossed it closer to him, landing on the fluffed up duvet cover. Grabbing his jacket from the chair by the door she pressed it into his hands, together with the rest of his clothes and scooted him towards the stairs.

              “She’s nobody, Raylyn. Please, you don’t have to kick me out. With hands on her hips she passed him in the hallway and headed down the stairs afraid to wake Nova up too early with their loud voices. As planned, he marched after her. She grabbed his shoes, and opened the front door to the early morning chill and threw them out on the lawn, then scooted him outside with the load of items still in his hands.

              “Come on, Raylyn. Please. Don’t make me go.” He dropped the clothes on the front porch and went to place a warm hand on her upper arm, feeling her tense muscles through the fabric of her robe.

              “You have her name on speed dial. Please, give me a break. I might have been taken for an idiot in the past, but not anymore.” She shoved his hand off her arm and walked back into the house.

              “Alright, so what?” Frustration rising between the two. “After Marina left me and I got horny Amber was an easy target. Always clingy, available when I needed it, and seemed to like us being casual about it. So, alright, I’ve fucked her. A lot. More than once since my divorce. Happy?”

              She couldn’t even look him in the eyes and slammed the door shut behind her. Locking it with a rough twist making sure he heard the click, making sure he knew he wasn’t welcome anymore.

              “God damn, fucking shit!” She screamed, as tears trickled down her face, and she heard the low rumbling noise of Jefferson’s truck driving away down the gravel road.

*              *              *

              “Good evenin’, sweetheart. How are you going?” Truly asked, basking Raylyn in one of the warmest smiles she’s seen in a long time.

              “I’m good, thank you.” Even though on the inside her mind was being turned over its own axle, had a mouse propelling it, and the only thoughts that ran on that axle were the questions  why Jeff had turned down her request to come over every single time, and why did he still have Amber’s number on his fucking phone? She called him like it was last night they’d been together, perhaps that’s what he did at his house and didn’t want to have her over? What the hell was he up to? Had this thing between them ended as soon as it had started? She sure didn’t feel that way. Not from one day to the other. What was he trying to cover up and hide that he didn’t want her to know of?

              “Raylyn… that’s your name, right?” Truly’s voice snapped her out of her daydream at the check stand and brought her back to reality.

              “Yes.”

              “Um, as I said.” She motioned with her finger to the amount flashing green across the screen. “It will be $48.50, dear.”

              “Oh, of course.” She felt slightly embarrassed, and mentally tried to push back a slight burning of her cheeks then dug out a fifty dollar bill from her purse. “You can keep the change, or put it to the little fundraiser you guys have going.”

              Truly smiled again, lighting up her whole face. “Sure you don’t want to save those pennies for your little daughter, or save up in case there is something that needs to be fixed on that nice, old car of yours?”

              “You know my car?” She stopped bagging up her groceries and looked up.

              “Well, yes dear. It’s beautiful and Jeff told me all about it the other day. He knows his car stuff, that man.”

              “You know Jeff?”

              “Of course, sweetie. Everyone does. He was in here earlier to pick up a few things for his mom. Too sad, you know, having both your brother and father pass away, your mother getting Alzheimer’s, and then on top of that - have your wife leave you. No wonder all he does is working, working, working, before going home to take care of dear old mom. You know, he had to leave his nice ranch house outside of town when his mom got sick and his wife left him. Oh, Jefferson. He’s something special, that man.”

              “Oh, I didn’t know any of that. I only knew he inherited that mechanic shop from his dad. He’s been great with me, though. My car, I mean.”

              “Oh, he’s really good with cars, not so much with letting people help
him
, though. Last year we even had a small fundraiser here in the store to help with the cost of taking caring care of his mom. It’s tough, you know. You don’t become a millionaire repairing cars.” Raylyn just nodded in response and idly packed her stuff down, one by one into the bag.

              “Anyway, that’s why he had to move in with her and take as much care of her as he could to keep the hospice cost down.”

              “That’s very sweet of you guys to help him like that, and of him to actually move in with her. I’m not sure many grown men would do that. I sure don’t know any.” She continued, suddenly seeing him in a slightly new light. Anger somehow subsided to the back burner hearing all this about the man she’d cursed and hated all day.

              “Yeah, it’s not like he broadcasts it, dear. In fact, he never talks about his family unless one asks. Which one does, when one’s nosy.” Truly smiled, and pointed her long manicured fingernail at herself. “But we’re a fairly small community, everyone knows everybody. That’s why his wife left him you know. Because he had to take care of his mom… guess she felt left out or something. But, she was always looking for something else that girl, it was always so obvious with her.”

              “Oh, I… just didn’t know. “

              Later that afternoon she left the store deep in thought. Perhaps she had gone too hard on Jeff, calling him out on Amber, cursing him for sleeping around? She had no idea what his deal had been. Why the hell couldn’t he just have told her? She would’ve understood. Hell, she had a background that wasn’t any shinier or golden than his; got pregnant, caught her husband and her ‘then thought to be’ best friend fucking in their bed midday, and bought a dump of a house in the outskirts of the smallest towns she’d every visited, where she now decided to raise her little ‘fatherless’ daughter. Hell, she’d never bring Nova’s dad back in the picture. Not even if he scraped his knees deep in the gravel dragging after her for years, pleading her to come back. She knew it would only be pleading for show anyway, letting the press and the family know what a responsible father he would be having them back in his life.

              Relationships were made to be very simple; you fuck the one you’re with. See, simple! If you end up putting your penis into someone else’s vagina, or whatever hole you choose, you’re out. No hole is okay! Even if you say you never meant to do it, or that is ‘just’ happened. Rare is the occurrence to accidentally fall into someone else’s vagina. You’re still fucking out. So far out there are no band saws or cutting torches in the entire universe powerful enough to make you walk back through that shut and locked door.

              As she sat quietly behind the wheel, she couldn’t really make up her mind about what she was going to do. She might have already stepped over the line, and meeting Jeff would just make it worse. On the other hand, she needed to apologize and tell him he didn’t have to hide anymore. That she might understand, to some extent, his desire to call up Amber when the need provided to tough to handle on its own. She wasn’t the one to talk, having bought an arsenal of sex toys, and subscribed to a porn site when she was single. She picked up the phone and dialed home. Something had to be done.

              Nova napped soundly with the high school babysitter she’d met through the ladies at the Y, giving her the opportunity to maybe see if she had anything to say to Jefferson. She knew where he lived thanks to Ian’s constant blabbering in the store about how great some of Jefferson’s cars were and with no preamble blurted out where his home was. Even the street name. She had never dared to drive by the house after his recurring break-offs of staying the night in case he would be outside and see her.

              His house was at the end of the street, right before the vast yellow fields’ tall grass grabbed hold of the town and nature opened up wide and deep. She parked the car slowly at the curb and sat there for a minute before she turned off the ignition, and noticed a small lamp hanging solo in the left window next to the front door. If he was home he must be in some other part of the house. Here it looked almost pitch black. But since the watch on her wrist only showed 5:30 she found it most unlikely he would be asleep. More so, he would probably still be working on the cars lined up at the shop.

              The doorbell gave a slight chime in the quietness surrounding her and the rest of the street. But here she was, standing like a frigid pole, shuttering on the front steps of the small retro ranch style home. Definitely left in the shadows of the sixties; when brown and beige reined the world. After a few seconds of stomping in the chill evening air, and debating a million times to go back to the car and skip all of this, footsteps were suddenly heard from inside the house. Increasing in volume by the second. The moment she sucked in one last breath of cold air into her lungs, steadying herself, the door handle bent down, letting the door open into the wide shoulder of the man she had come to see.

Chapter Fourteen

              “Raylyn?” His eyes etched deep and hard in hers, and she noticed a slight rosy color growing up the skin of his neck, and then slowly settled as the pillar of a rose on his cheeks. “What… um, what are you doing here?”

              She watched how every muscle around his mouth formed his lips into words. Lips that had so recently touched hers, but still hadn’t lingered the way she’d wanted them to.

              “Actually…” She stopped herself mid-sentence and shoved her cold hands down in the soft pockets of her jacket and found herself suddenly clueless. “I…” She stuttered on the words, looking at his eyes, still deadlocked on her face. “I overheard someone at the store mention the situation with your mom… and your brother, and your ex-wife.” He suddenly broke her off, annoyed. Snorting a laugh, and shaking his head.

              “Aha. Truly.” He mumbled, sounding somewhere between amused and furious. He suddenly dropped the hands holding the front door open, and placed the steadily on his hips, making his broad chest look even wider. Which didn’t make her attempt to argue any easier. A man of his nature always made her stutter, and her knees turning into jelly. Looking down at his feet he kicked away some imaginary dust particles on the obviously clean floor.
Bet he cleans that too
. She though. Imagining what most women would see as porn; a man in a tight t-shirt, fitted jeans, holding a vacuum machine.

              “Sometimes I wish someone could put a hand over that woman’s mouth, and tell her to be quiet.”

              Instantly, they locked eyes, as they both knew the relation to what he’d just mentioned.

              “I just wished you could’ve told me.” She answered softly. “Why would it bother me to know you’re taking care of your mom?” Changing the way in which the conversation was leading them. Not to think of naughty things, naked man flesh, and dirty sex, but to the actual reason why she was here. Letting him know it wouldn’t bother her if he loved not only his mom, but the rest of the women of his family and wanted to take care of them too.

              The silence stretched between them. None of them uttering a word, just that deadly uncomfortable silence that seemed to just go on and on, but still none of them moved from the open front door. Jefferson’s rough hand slowly slid up from his waist to grab the side of the door, and the top of his finger nail started a nervous picking of the nonexistent peeling paint of the wood.

              “I… I like you, you know. Raylyn. A lot.” His shoulder now rested heavily on the door, and to her surprise he seemed to let his tough guard down for the first time in her presence. Releasing breath after deep breath, not looking her in the face. “Um, it’s just… how should I put this… um, I need someone who doesn’t have an alarm set on when they have to leave me. You see, I’m done with being alone. I’ve told myself I either have to stay away from you completely, or have you all the way with the promise you’ll never wake up one day saying you’ve had enough with my life. I’m done being left, okay? I’m done with being left behind. My father’s death left me the business and every financial worry of the family, my brother’s death left me with grief so deep I’m sometimes surprised I’m still alive, standing her with you, and my wife left me because she felt I didn’t do enough for her. And… I’m sure as hell my mother’s life will disintegrate soon enough, and then she’ll leave my life too. You see,“ his hand went up to drag slowly through his dark hair. “I’m not sure I can live through another person leaving me. In this case, you.”

              “How can anyone promise such a thing? No one knows what the future looks like.”

              “Well, I’m sorry if I sound like a jackass but that’s just the way I feel. I have my mom to take care of now and a not so lucrative business, but one I enjoy doing. If you’re not okay with that, well… then we’re done here, and we shouldn’t see each other anymore.” He sucked in another deep breath of air and looked down at his shoes. “I’m not getting any more involved with you if you can’t deal with that.”

              “I… I came here for just that reason, to ask you
why
you would keep your family a secret from me. Why? You’ve met my ex-husband, you must understand I have baggage too, it’s not just you. I’m really not perfect.” She answered exasperated. “In fact… I miss you, okay. It’s only been, what, twelve hours since I made you leave, and at that point I told my heart it was the last time I’d see you. But, it got lonely. That quickly I understood I couldn’t do without you.”

              She couldn’t be more honest than that. She figured he’d take it or leave it, and if he said no she’d walk herself back to her car, and to the rest of her life, starting the imminent process of grieving her loss.

              “Ah… what the hell.” He shook his head as in disbelief of what he intended to say. “I guess I might be in love with you. Okay? I think I might have told you last night, and then brushed it over quickly sine you didn’t respond. But, that’s the way it is. You talk too much, you wear high heeled shoes in situations no one should ever attempt to wear them, and you have an extremely nosy personality. But I still like you, alright. A lot. In here.” He finished, and let his long index finger tap lightly on the pocket of his shirt covering the place of his heart.