Burning Desire (31 page)

CHAPTER THIRTY-FIVE

One minute Shara was fighting for her life against the black smoke, and the next she was surrounded by light so intense she couldn’t open her eyes. She sat huddled, her eyes squeezed tightly shut as she waited for death to find her.

Except nothing happened.

Seconds stretched to moments. She dared to peek and see if the light was still there. It was, but not nearly as blinding. Just bright enough to chase off all of the darkness.

A gentle hand touched her shoulder as a woman’s voice, kind and soft, said, “You can open your eyes now, Shara.”

It wasn’t a voice she recognized. More importantly, not a single Dark Fae would ever sound so … pleasant. Shara was used to the taste of fear, but there was courage added to her arsenal now as well.

She lifted her head at the same time she opened her eyes, only to have her lungs lock as she looked at the room. It was filled with flowers—some tall, some short—but each petal drenched with color from bright to pastel. The floor and ceiling were white as were the tall columns that held up the roof. There were no walls, just open air showing nothing but brilliant blue skies and rich, green grass.

Shara stood, her legs shaky and her heart pounding against her ribs. She knew where she was, but she couldn’t believe it was possible.

“I gather I’ve surprised you.”

Shara turned at the sound of the voice. Her gaze locked on a woman of unspeakable beauty with long, flowing locks of coal black hair and eyes that sparkled silver. Her smile was kind, and her eyes knowing.

She was suddenly very conscious of her red eyes and silver lock of hair. Shara glanced around to see if anyone else was in the room even as she noted the very human attire on the Light Fae.

“You know where you are, but do you know who I am?” she asked.

Shara shook her head. “Did you bring me here?”

“I did, Shara. As for who I am, I’m Usaeil.”

The Queen of the Light. Shara felt her knees weaken. She was standing before the ruler of the Light, and still had no idea why.

Usaeil smiled and swept her hand to a set of chairs. “Why don’t we sit? You’ve had a bit of a shock.”

Shara’s legs felt wooden as she followed Usaeil to the delicate-looking chairs of soft green. She sank down on one and waited for the queen to continue.

Usaeil regarded her for a long moment as she relaxed in the chair. “Tell me about Kiril.”

“Kiril?” Just thinking of him brought a pain to the center of Shara’s chest. “He’s a good man. An honorable Dragon King.”

“Yes, he is both of those things. However, I want to know your thoughts on him.”

Shara rested her hands on her thighs as her mind drifted back to the short time she’d had with him. Her stomach clenched when she thought about his kisses, just as desire unfurled at the thought of being in his arms.

She blinked away the tears that gathered. “He trusted me when my own family didn’t. He offered me sanctuary at Dreagan if I wanted it. He’s unlike any male I’ve ever known. Or ever will know. I care about him deeply.”

Love. It was love she felt, but she dared not say it, not to anyone. She was a Dark Fae. The only ones who would ever accept her were her own kind. At least they used to. They wouldn’t now.

“You risked your life to help him even though he believed you’d betrayed him,” the queen said.

Shara swallowed as she focused on the Light Fae. “I knew he wouldn’t listen to my explanations, and they didn’t matter anyway. He came for Rhi, and his friends came for both of them. I wanted to help.”

“Do you know Balladyn was once a highly regarded member of my court and army?”

“He told me as much.”

“Taraeth broke him as Taraeth has done to so many of my people,” the queen said sadly. “Rhi was lost without Balladyn. He was like a brother to her.”

“And yet he coveted her for his own.”

Usaeil’s lips compressed. “Yes, I know. Everyone knew but Rhi. I thought Rhi might come to see him as her future husband, but then she met…”

She trailed off, but Shara knew who she meant. “Her Dragon King.”

“Aye. Their love was instant and powerful. It, like their desires, wouldn’t be denied.”

“Did you approve?”

Usaeil grinned slightly. “It wouldn’t have mattered one way or another. There was no stopping the two of them. Until … he ended it.”

“Do you know why?”

She shook her head. “Only the two of them know the truth, and I doubt either will ever tell anyone. Rhi returned to us broken. It was Balladyn who helped to heal her. Or so we thought. Rhi, in her mindless state, ventured into the wrong doorway. A doorway, mind you, that not even I dare go into.”

“Her lover did, didn’t he?” Shara guessed.

“Aye. As soon as he learned where she went, he followed. No Dragon King had ever entered a Fae doorway before.”

“How did he find it? Only the Fae can see our doorways.”

Usaeil crossed one long leg over the other. “He asked me to take him to it, and I did. I honestly didn’t expect him to go through it, but not only did he, he also returned Rhi to us. To this day thousands of years later, she doesn’t know what he did for her.”

“Why not tell her?” Shara didn’t think she could keep such a thing to herself.

“Because he asked me not to.”

“And you complied? I didn’t think the Kings and the Fae liked each other.”

She shrugged nonchalantly. “The Light get along all right with them, though we tend to keep our distance. I agreed to his demand because it was the right thing to do. If Rhi knew what he did for her, she would go to him, and he made it clear there could never be anything between them again.”

“What a sad story.” Then it hit Shara that there might be a reason the queen had shared it with her. “Is this your way of telling me that there can never be anything between me and Kiril?”

“Not at all. I don’t know why I told you about Rhi and him.”

“Who was her lover?”

Usaeil merely smiled. “That you won’t get from me.”

“No one will tell me.”

“There’s a reason for that.”

Shara found that she had relaxed during their chat. She leaned over and smelled a bright yellow flower. “The Dark Fae don’t come to the side of Light.”

“We share a realm, Shara. The invisible line that divides our realm doesn’t keep the Dark from taking the Light or the Light from venturing into the Dark.”

She met the queen’s silver gaze. “Why am I here?”

“I’ve watched you, you know. I’ve seen you with Kiril, and I’ve seen the decisions you made. He changed you.”

“Yes,” she admitted in a mumble as she looked at the floor. “I can’t be the Fae my family expected me to be, but I can’t be anything else. I’m Dark.”

“Are you?” Usaeil asked casually. “I don’t believe so.”

Shara’s gaze snapped up. She lifted the lock of silver hair. “Look at my hair. Look at my eyes. I’m Dark.”

“I see one thick strand of silver in your hair, yes.”

Shara could feel her heart pounding against her ribs. The one glance she had spared around the large room hadn’t shown a mirror. She wondered if there was one nearby.

“Ask me,” Usaeil urged.

The courage Shara had found earlier evaporated as if it had never been. The thought of looking into the mirror and seeing her red eyes again would be too much. Instead, she said, “Tell me why you really brought me here.”

“Should I have left you with the Dark for them to kill you? Or perhaps I should’ve returned you to your family and let them torture you for a few thousand years,” Usaeil stated icily.

“I meant no offense.”

“You didn’t. Unlike the Dark, we Light don’t punish for such things.” The queen sighed dramatically. Then she grinned. “If we did, I’d forever be punishing Rhi.”

Shara felt as if she would never have her feet beneath her again. She had no idea what was going on or how she should feel about any of it. She dared not to hope for anything. That had happened once already, and she’d watched Kiril slip through her fingers like grains of sand.

It was too painful to go through again. Hope might strengthen, but loss destroyed.

“I can bring you to Dreagan,” Usaeil offered, her voice soft once more. “You can explain everything to Kiril.”

“So he did get out of Balladyn’s fortress?” she asked, one knot in her stomach unwinding.

Usaeil nodded. “That he did. As did the other Dragon Kings and Phelan, who you met.”

“And Rhi?”

Usaeil quickly looked away. “She’s no longer in Balladyn’s grasp, but she’s not with us.”

“Is she with her lover once more?”

Usaeil’s gaze turned back to her with a smile. “Ah, what a romantic you are.”

It was true. She was a romantic. She hadn’t realized it until she met Kiril. Shara looked down at her lap and licked her lips. “Thank you for the offer, but I can’t go to Dreagan.”

“Kiril scoured Balladyn’s compound for you.”

Shara smiled and felt the tears threaten again. Somehow she wasn’t surprised Kiril had done that. He was that type of man. “That is the reason I can’t go to him.”

“Because he’s looking for you?” the queen asked.

“Because I don’t deserve him.” She lifted her gaze to the queen and wiped away the tears that had fallen. “If I hadn’t been born Dark, I would fight for him.”

Usaeil raised a black brow and cocked her head to the side. “You come from one of the strongest Dark families. Are you going to let something like your birth, which you had no control over, stop you from taking what you want?”

Shara parted her lips to answer, but found she couldn’t put a voice to them.

“You saw Kiril in his true form,” Usaeil continued. “Did you find him difficult to gaze upon?”

“Far from it. I couldn’t stop looking at him. He was awe-inspiring, beautiful, and spectacular.”

Usaeil’s lips lifted in a grin. “Those were almost the exact words Rhi used to describe her lover.”

Shara couldn’t sit any longer. She rose and paced, her mind racing with questions she couldn’t begin to answer. It was all too much, and yet not enough.

“What is it?” the queen asked.

Shara halted while wringing her hands. “Fear has ahold of me. Fear to dare to dream of something I don’t deserve.”

“And?”

“Fear that if I don’t try for that dream then I’ll be filled with misery the rest of my days.”

Usaeil came to stand beside her. “In the end, we only regret the chances we don’t take.”

“What if he doesn’t want me?”

“You can’t know the answer until you speak to him.”

Shara faced the queen. “And if I don’t? Can I remain here?”

“This is where you belong. You’ll always be welcome here.”

“Even though I’m Dark?”

Usaeil’s smile was mysterious. “Are you sure?”

“Pretty damn positive.”

The queen turned to walk away, and as she did, she waved her hand. Shara stepped back as a large square mirror appeared in front of her, hanging at eye level. Her gaze locked on that thick stripe of silver that fell by her cheek. She could use glamour to hide it, but she wouldn’t be able to conceal it from Kiril.

She was about to turn away when she looked into her own eyes—eyes that were no longer red but … silver.

CHAPTER THIRTY-SIX

Shara quickly turned away from the mirror. She was breathing hard as confusion swarmed her. Her gaze latched on Usaeil with a fierce glower.

“I know I’m a Dark, but it doesn’t give you the right to trick me like this. Do you think it’s funny to give me something I desperately want, and then watch as I learn it isn’t real?”

“Whoever said it wasn’t real?” the queen asked in a calm voice. She bent over and smiled down at a bright pink flower, her fingers reverently touching the petals. “There are many things that separate the Light from the Dark. Trickery is one of them.”

Shara refused to believe what she saw in the mirror. It hurt too much. “This could all be a trick played by Balladyn.”

The queen’s cool façade vanished as she whirled around, her silver eyes shooting daggers. “When have you ever seen a Dark attempt to re-create the Light?”

“Never, but then I was born into a Dark family.”

Usaeil folded her arms across her chest as she stared hard at her. “I deal in truths, Shara. You can either accept that or you can’t. Make your decision now.”

She wanted to turn away from Usaeil and demand to see the truth, but there was the tiniest thread of doubt that what she saw was reality.

“Hope is one of the most powerful weapons to have. Love is the other,” Usaeil said evenly.

Instead of turning away, Shara took a deep breath. “How are my red eyes gone?”

“It’s true the Dark tell their own that once a Fae turns to the Dark there is no turning back. The fact is, it’s a lie. Not everyone knows that, and most times I tell others that it can’t happen. Before you ask, I’ve my own reasons for that.”

Shara grabbed her stomach as if someone had just punched her. Was everything she had been led to believe a lie? Her world was spiraling out of control, and she needed something to hold onto. She needed Kiril.

“Doubt undermines the truth your heart senses.”

Shara fell to her knees. She grasped for breath, to steady the world that was rapidly falling away. Truth. What was the truth? Could she recognize it after a lifetime of lies?

Usaeil knelt beside her, her arms going around Shara as she did. “Search your heart,” she whispered. “The answers are there, waiting. You have to be brave enough to see them.”

Shara squeezed her eyes closed and rested her forehead on the cool white tiles of the floor. If Kiril were beside her she could do it. If Kiril were there, she could face anything.

He is here, within you.

She stilled. The realization that Kiril had left a part of himself with her was like stepping into the sun and being surrounded by warmth and light. Shara grabbed Usaeil’s hand, and with the part of her that Kiril had changed irrevocably, she searched her heart. She was hesitant at first, afraid of what she might find.

Then the truth fell over her one drop at a time until it was raining down upon her in a shower that cleansed her, graced her.

She sucked in a mouthful of air as she sat up. Her eyes opened and she saw the magnificent room with new eyes, eyes not blinded by lies and deceptions. The flowers were richer, the light warmer. Everything felt right, as if she had finally found somewhere she belonged. She turned her head to Usaeil to see the queen smiling brightly.