Burning Up (2 page)

Exiting the elevator, I cautiously walked into an enormous entrance hall. It looked remarkably similar to the one back in Long Beach. Maybe he wanted it to be his home away from home?

Layton tilted his cap at me
as I set my bags down. When I looked up, he had left.

The whole place seemed eerily silent. The light had come on automatically when we had arrived
, but it appeared to be the only one lit in the entire apartment. I knew he had to be here; Daniel had told me that much. Leaving my bags where they were, I decided to go in search of him. My heart was pounding in my chest so hard it felt as though it might combust any second. I had no idea where I was going and as I slowly crossed the foyer, I could hear the gentle sounds of Eric Clapton playing.

I f
ollowed the low and soft music. I could see a glimmer of light streaming through the gap of a partially open door. The music grew louder the closer I got and I recognized the song immediately. It was
my
song.
Layla
. My heart skipped a beat when I heard the clanking of ice against a glass. He was in there.

My breathing quickened and I could feel my body turning into jello. My knees were weak and I was almost shaking as my hand reached for the door. I pushed it lightly so that I could see inside just a fraction more. I peered through the crack and my breath caught in my lungs.

Dressed in his lounge pants with no shirt, Jared paced around the room, gripping a glass of what I assumed to be bourbon. He swirled the drink a little before tipping his head back and downing the entire contents.

He looked as handsome and striking as ever but as he stood in front of the enormous window, I could see his face in its reflection. His brow furrowed
, and a deep sadness was written all over his handsome features. He was tormented, and I didn’t have to look too far to know why and who had caused it.
So then why don’t you get your ass in there and end his misery already?
I wanted to but I was glued to the spot just staring at him, watching like some creepy pervert through a peephole.

He turned to face the door and for a moment, I wondered if he knew I was watching him. Shaking his head, he ran his fingers through his gorgeous, golden brown hair. I pressed my hand to my chest and felt the rhythm my heart was playing loudly beneath my ribcage.
Just get in there already Layla!
I was about to push my way inside when, placing his empty glass on a black coffee table beside him, Jared began to stride quickly toward the door.

I couldn’t breathe and for a split second, I considered hiding.
Don’t be ridiculous.
I had to face him sometime and explain myself. Moving back, away from the door, I braced myself, holding my breath as my chest tightened. The door swung open and for a brief moment he didn’t see me standing there. His head was down and his eyes were aimed at the floor. He must have seen my feet, because he immediately snapped his head up and stiffened as shock spread across his stunningly handsome face.

I gulped as he stared at me
, his eyes penetrating my own. His eyebrows furrowed as he continued to gawk at me. He was lost for words. His mouth opened but his breath caught in his throat and he stammered, stuttered, and gasped. I stood rigidly in front of him. I wanted to throw my arms around him, to hold him close to me and feel the longing, sadness and hurt wash away from both of us. I was unsure where we stood and I was afraid of his rejection.

Closing the gap between us, he cupped my face in his hands and kissed me fervently. I was taken completely by surprise
, but as soon as his soft lips pressed against my own, I immediately relaxed, savoring the sweet sensations of his mouth, tongue and lips on mine. I moaned as his hands moved downwards from my face to behind my neck. He kissed me as though it were our first, last, and forever. It was intense and full of emotion that I was struggling to hide or control. It was relief, sadness, regret, anger, and love all rolled into one passionate embrace. Tears were stinging my eyes, but they weren’t from anything but the pure happiness of being in his arms once again. My heart hammered beneath my ribcage and for a moment, the whole world stopped turning. It was just us. Jared, me, and our thundering hearts.

Finally willing to separate from one another
, we gazed dreamily into each other’s eyes. He rested his forehead against mine and let out a long and staggered breath. “I thought I’d lost you. I can’t believe you’re here. Please, I’m begging you; tell me you’re staying. I don’t think I could stand to watch you leave again.” I wrapped my arms firmly around his waist and closed my eyes.

“I’m not going anywhere.” I felt the tension in his body instantly release and he was visibly more relaxed.

“I’ve missed you so much. When you left that day, I thought I’d never hold you in my arms, feel your body against mine, kiss these lips, or hear the sound of your voice ever again. I’ve been living in hell without you. You’re my angel, and I can’t find heaven without you. Why didn’t you call me? How did you get here?” He began trailing tiny kisses over my forehead and down my cheeks to my jaw. He was making it difficult for me to think or even form a coherent sentence. I wanted to lose myself in his arms and as I inhaled the sweet scent of vanilla and cologne that I had grown so comforted by, I sighed deeply.

“I knew I had to be with you, Jared. I couldn’t stop thinking about you, wanting you and my heart hurt more with every day we were apart. The thought of never being together again, tore me apart
, and I couldn’t bare it. I got on a plane and asked Daniel to pick me up from the airport. I wanted to surprise you, please don’t be mad.”

He smiled against my cheek before placing a chaste kiss on my lips.

“Mad? Layla, I’m so happy I could burst from pure, unbridled joy. I’m amazed, elated, and I feel like I’m dreaming. God, if I am, please don’t wake me.”

We stood for what felt like an eternity just holding one another. His hands
clenched me tightly as his lips pressed long and lingering kisses against my own. Caught up in my bliss, I was startled when a loud buzzing came from my pocket. It instantly reminded me that I’d forgotten to call my mother and my friends.
Or maybe it was Ollie.
The thought hit me like a bullet.
Ollie
. I felt instantly sick with guilt and I knew it was something I was going to have to grow accustomed to.

I’d made my decision and I had to make him my past now. There couldn’t possibly be any way back for us now. Surely, we couldn’t be friends
. Jared would never be comfortable about it if we were. It was better that I severed all ties, for both of our sakes; even though the thought of never being near him again was crushing my heart like a vice. I’d hurt him, and he would never forgive me for this.

I gave Jared a rueful look. Tilting my chin up, he regarded me with an arched brow. “What is it? What’s wrong?” I shook my head.

“I just have to call my mom and the girls. I promised I would when I landed. Do you mind?” He breathed a sigh of relief.

“I thought maybe you were having second thoughts about being here. Of course I don’t mind. Where are your bags?” I pointed toward the elevator.

“I’ll take them to the master suite and give you some privacy.” He pulled me close for another heart stopping, body melting kiss. My insides heated as his hands roamed freely over my arms and grasped my behind tightly.
Down girl. You just got here.

Jared moaned gratefully into my mouth
, and I knew he’d been thinking the same. I smiled against his warm lips.

Sliding his hands from around me, he held my own in his, entwining our fingers. His thumb brushed over my bare finger where my ring once sat, sparkling and full of promises neither of us had kept. He sighed deeply and grimaced.
He lifted my hand to his lips and kissed the area gently.

We didn’t need to dwell on it and I didn’t need to talk about it. We both knew our mistakes already and dragging up our past was only going to upset us both. Smiling at him, I shrugged.

“I’ll go call my mom. Should I come find you after?” The corners of his mouth curled upward.

“No, I’ll come back. You go make your calls.”

Reluctantly, he allowed his hand to slip from mine as he walked away across the foyer. Picking up my heavy bags with very little effort, he glanced back at me. “I love you, Layla, more than you even know.” I smiled back at him and nodded. “I know. I love you, too.”

I meant every word
, but they were also true for someone else. My mind wandered to the man I’d left behind. I couldn’t help it and I knew that this feeling would not go away quickly. I loved Ollie and knowing how much he would be hurting right now was killing me. The truth was, I was hurting, too.

I watched as Jared climbed the winding marble staircase and disappeared from sight. Reaching into my pocket, I slid my cell phone out and found a text from my mother asking if I had landed yet. Rolling my eyes, I dialed and headed into the room Jared had exited.

“Layla. I’ve been worried sick. Are you okay?” Her tone was serious and concerned.

“I’m fine, Mom. I’m actually at Jared’s place right now. I can’t really talk long.”

“Okay baby. I know you two must have a lot to talk about. I’ll call you tomorrow?” I sighed heavily.

“Yeah. I’ll talk to you tomorrow. I love you
, Mom.”

“I love you
, too, baby. We both do.”

Hanging up, I took in my surroundings. The room was enormous. Large windows made up the far wall and the rest of the room was a brilliant white. Black leather couches and a modern, minimalistic décor gave the place a very sterile and cold feeling. If it hadn’t been for the fireplace at the end of the room, I would have felt chilled based solely on the color scheme.

A long, sleek, black-surfaced bar stood to the right of the right of the fireplace. It was stocked with every liquor, beer, and wine imaginable. Jared had excellent taste in wines. I had learned that first hand on our date.

My cell buzzed in my hand and I quickly answered without checking the I.D. A friendly and slightly over excited voice, screeched down the line at me. “Layla! Where are you? How did it go? Was he totally surprised? Tell us everything!”

I giggled at Amy’s excitement and as I heard Mel’s voice echo from the background, I asked Amy to put me on speaker.

“I’m at Jared’s place. He was shocked to see me
, but then again, I should have expected that. There really isn’t anything to tell. He’s taking my bags upstairs and I don’t have long till he gets back. We have a lot to talk about.” I heard Amy sigh heavily.

“Have you spoken to Ollie?” She sounded apprehensive. I knew she was scared to hear how he’d taken the news and as I told her about the text, I hated myself for how I had chosen to tell him. It was cold and so impersonal. Surely, I at least owed him a proper explanation?

Amy gasped. “I can’t believe you dumped him by text, Layla! That’s awful! You know that, right? He must be devastated.”

She was yelling and I was now getting the full, Amy
, lecture on the etiquette of dumping and ditching. The word ‘dumped’ echoed in my ears. I hadn’t dumped Ollie; he wasn’t trash. I had to choose and this was where my gut had taken me.

“There was always going to be a broken heart at the end of all of this, Amy. I wish so much that there was another way, but there’s not. I’ve chosen my path and now I have to walk down it. Ollie will forget about me in time and he’ll move on, find someone else
, and be unbelievably happy.”

The thought of Ollie with someone else brought a lump to my throat and a sharp pain stabbed through my chest.
I
loved him. It was selfish and though I had chosen not to be with him, I didn’t want anyone else to have him. Not yet.

I listened carefully for any sign of Jared.
Silence
.

Whispering into the receiver, I held the cell close to my face. “I miss him Amy. I know I’ve made my choice but I
do
love him. He hasn’t called, texted, or anything. He hasn’t tried to change my mind. I think he’s finally given up and … I’m glad.”
Liar
. “We can both move on now. Right?” I knew the answer and they did, too. I heard Mel snort.

“If you say so Layla.
It’s too late now, anyway. Ollie will get over it. He’s a big boy and it’s a hard lesson, but we can’t always get what we want.” She was right. I needed to get my shit together and get past this. Guilt I could handle, but holding on to feelings for the man I left behind? That was just cruel and unfair to Jared. I’d put him through enough and I had some making up to do. Saying my goodbyes to the girls, I hung up; picked up the glass Jared had left on the table, and made my way over to the bar.

If we were going to have the conversation that I knew was inevitably coming, then I needed a drink. Call it Dutch courage if you like, but I call it steadying my nerves. I poured myself a glass of bourbon and inhaled the bitter scent deeply. It was familiar and memories of both Jared and Ollie drinking it flooded my mind. I sighed deeply, held the glass to my lips and was about to take a drink
, when I heard him clear his throat, loudly. Lowering the glass, I turned to find him leaning against the door frame, watching me with an arched brow.
Damn him and that brow.