By My Side (6 page)

             
“Except for my father, who never saw one sketch, yes, you're the only one,” I said, fidgeting with my long ponytail.

             
He's surprised
. Me too, when I thought about it. He's the one who knew my most important secrets when Andy knew nothing other than dumb things like every teenager.

             
“Why are you keeping it a secret?” he asked, running a hand through his hair and making his T-shirt ride up again. “I mean, you've got a gift.”

             
I was blushing. I felt my cheeks burning hot.
Oh God!
I was ashamed, because I was beginning to react like the other girls I always see around him.
Impossible!

             
“It's nothing, really. It's not like I want to study art at college or something,” I responded nervously. He bit his lower lip.
If he's doing it on purpose, I'll kill him!

             
“Why not? I know you're into literature, but you could take one class,” he replied. I went to the cupboard and pressed one palm over the polished wood.

             
“I can't draw or paint
and be judged by a teacher and classmates. It's too private,” I explained to him with hesitation. “My art is like a diary. I'm always using words to release tension, to distract myself, but it's like a shield. Here, I can draw what I feel, what I think, what’s bugging me.” He walked to the window and looked outside.

             
“It's your free zone.”

             
Looking at Gabe’s face, I nodded in agreement. It was fascinating. Everything in him was made hard and smooth. His jaw and cheekbones were hard, but his mouth and chin were soft. He's a complex human being like all of us, but he fascinates me more than anyone.

              “I suppose you won't let me take a look at some of your other drawings,” he said, making me realize I was protecting the cupboard. I chuckled nervously and reluctantly stepped away.

             
“It's not as interesting as you think it is. You saw the most embarrassing because I never draw someone I know,” I said, taking the little iron key from my pocket.

             
I couldn’t believe what I was doing. I opened it and stepped back, motioning him to approach. He came next to me and took a handful of drawings. The first one was the girl crying, my last drawing. Another one represented two people arguing. Then one was a boy and a girl kissing. Another of a swing and so on, but one got his attention. He was shaking. He put down my drawing, and I saw which one troubled him. It was a little girl who fell in a pool of mud. It's about him. It’s about him and me.

             
“There are pieces of you in everything. I didn't know I made you feel like that,” he said, his voice unsteady. He's looking everywhere except at me.

              “You made me want to hit you most of the time, but you've always been taller than me. You're impressive.” He grinned a little and locked eyes with me. I was blushing again!
Fantastic!

             
“Why did you draw me today?” he asked in a murmur. He must be afraid I became like all the girls who wanted and tried to get in his bed. I was just drooling a little, but I'd never go out with him other than just friends.

              “You helped me today and ... I thought about you when I came up here,” I answered, shrugging formally. He sighed and closed the cupboard.

             
“Well,” he began with a sudden change of subject, “I was walking to clear my head after a huge fight with Andy.”

             
Well done, great way to crash the mood. I would have preferred to think he came to see me, not to give me the breaking news about how Andy hated me and so on.

              “I'm the subject of the fight,” I stated matter of fact.

              “Yes, but not the only one. At first, I tried to talk to him about you in order to make him realize he was losing you.”

             
“Let me guess, he doesn't care.”

             
“Oh no, he thinks we're hooking up. That I have wanted to for a long time, and you, too.” I was taken aback. Is that what he's thinking? Even if it was true, so what? He hooked up with girls I hated, but I never said anything.

             
“He's crazy!”

             
“I know! So I tried to make him realize you've got problems with your parents' divorce, without talking about your mom or your dad, but he told me you had to make a choice,” he explained. I sighed deeply. Great, like I was happy to see Gabe here! Well, I am, but still.

             
“You know what?” I said, my voice catching in my throat. “I'm exhausted about all of this. He wants me to choose? I choose to forget him.” Gabe put a hand on my bare shoulder, sending a shiver down my body.

             
“He's your best friend since kindergarten.”

             
“That's why I can't believe he's so full of crap.” Hearing me swear, Gabe smiled. It's not a very ladylike thing to do.

             
“He can't stand me, and he's crazy about you, so I'm not that surprised. But right now, I prefer not seeing him, or I'll do something I'll regret.” I knew this look. He clenched his jaw and smoothed a hand in his hair. He wanted to punch his brother. I know it's not only about me, but I was a little flattered.

              “Thank you for trying.” I said, unable to say how much I appreciated what he did today. He's got his own issues, but he took time to help me.

“Maybe ...” he said before stopping in his sentence. “I’d better go.” I didn't know why, but I've got the feeling he didn't say what he wanted to tell me at first. I was a little disappointed, but I didn't know what I was waiting for.

              “Okay. Goodnight,” I replied. He walked toward the stairs and stopped ...

             
“See you tomorrow?” It sounded like a question.
Hell, yeah! He's the only friend I've got
. He went from enemy to friend in record time.

             
“Yeah,” I replied. We smiled at each other, and I watched as he disappeared down the stairs.

             
I might seem crazy, or crazier. I was standing outside a two-story building, and I hadn't moved for an hour. I couldn’t feel my feet anymore. I was not a lover of architecture, so facing this building wasn't a hobby. It's my father’s new home.

             
At first, I wanted to go to his office at work, but after a quick call, I found out he called in sick today. I didn't know why, but I didn't think it was true. That's why I was here under the hot sun at ten in the morning. We needed to talk about mom because everything has gotten out of control. When I woke up at dawn, I found her drinking some scotch like it was water. She's avoiding the discussion of her addiction, and I couldn't do anything without an adult by my side. What if some social worker came and saw her like that?

             
I was looking at the doors of the building, waiting for some guts to kick in. I sucked at handling problems. My phone seemed heavy in my jean’s pocket. Maybe he's asleep. Maybe he's fed up about my crap. Damn! I took my phone and dialed Gabe's number. I didn't really understand why I had the guts to call him, but none to go to my father. I was a big contradiction.

              “Hey, I was about to call you, but I thought you might still be asleep,” he said, totally awake and cool with my call. Maybe I was a little too paranoid.

             
“If only! No, I'm ... um, actually I'm outside of my father's building. I want to go in but ...” I heard some noise, like someone standing up from a bed. He was on his bed. Okay, I need to focus or my imagination will go wild.

             
“You need some motivation.” He finished my sentence, like he knew perfectly well how I functioned.
Disturbing, but quite useful.

             
“I'm pathetic, I know.” I was looking at the passing cars. I felt like a coward.

             
“Absolutely not! God, Lily, I didn't know you had such low self-esteem. Is there some place to grab a coffee where you are?”

             
“Um, yeah, there's a little diner. It’s quite uninviting, if you want my opinion.”

             
“Great, go in and grab a table. Give me the address and I’ll meet you there soon.”

              Dumbfounded, I gave it to him and hung up, still hearing the sound of his keys. Looking at the diner, which I couldn't read the name, they seemed to never repaint it. I shuddered, because I dislike going into a public place alone. Yeah, I was quite a loner, but I've got my limits.

             
Pushing the door open, I walked in. At first, the customers shocked me. There's quite a bunch. Some were in suits, others in jeans, but everybody seemed in a good mood and not paying attention to my grand entrance. The diner wasn't as dilapidated as it appeared from the outside. It was decorated with shades of green everywhere. Even the waitresses were in that color. It was welcoming, and the smell of food helped. Just as I was sitting, a red-haired girl of my age I hadn’t noticed before, arrived to take my order. Wow, they're quick here.

             
“Hi! What do you want?” she said, welcoming me cheerfully enough to make me smile earnestly.

             
“A big mug of coffee would be great.” And one minute later she's back with my huge mug of delicious coffee.
Paradise.
I began to relax. Lost in my thoughts, I jumped in my seat when I heard someone sitting down across from me at the table. Now Gabe was laughing out loud. It's my day.

             
“It's just me.”

             
“Ha, ha, ha, very funny,” I replied coldly, my cheeks hot. “FYI, I'm not in the mood.”

              “I can see that,” he said with a grin. I wanted to hit him badly right now just to release the tension in my body. The same waitress as before returned, but this time she was blushing like crazy and unable to speak two words.

             
“Hey Clary! How are you?” Gabe welcomed her with a friendly smile. Not exactly like the one he gave me. He was more on his guard with her. He must see she's got a huge crush on him.

             
“Hi! I'm ... fi-fine. What do you want?”

             
“Good. Some coffee, please.” She quickly turned around, knocking a table with her hip. It must hurt badly.

              “You know her? She's like two years younger than you.” He shrugged and looked at some customers arguing about some business thing.

             
“I know her sister, Kelly Williamson.”