By Way of the Rose (28 page)

“Yes, we do. This needs to be talked out.” He stepped aside to let her enter.

“What's wrong with me, John? Am I not good enough for you and your friends? I feel like no matter what I do lately, it's wrong. You tell me these people are good, yet when I try to get to know them you tell me I'm not to get too friendly! What is that all about? What are you afraid of? Afraid that I'll embarrass you? Is it as Nathan says, you just feel like you have to be nice to me but really you can't stand my sight? Are you afraid that my ‘savage’ ways will show and all your wonderful, uppity friends will see what I am? That's it, isn't it? You're ashamed of me! I've tried, John! God knows I've tried! I've tried to be someone you could be proud of, but I've turned out to be nothing but a thorn in your side and a sore disgrace to you. I'm tired, you know that? I just don't care anymore! I know now that all I'll ever be to any of you DuVals is a sorry ‘Injun foundling! John, why have you been acting like this?”

“I don't know why I do what I do. I'm such a fool!” He held her tighter. “You mean more to me than my next breath. Forgive me, please!”

Sarah felt the comfort in his embrace as it soothed her wounded feelings. The power he had over her emotions was unnerving. A simple smile from him made her entire world full, bright and peaceful, yet his frown could send her crashing into the most painful depths of despair.

At the mansion, Mr. Tyson sat at his desk with his small spectacles perched at the end of his nose. As a servant admitted John, he looked over their rims at him. “Good evening, DuVal. What brings you out here at this time of the evening? Nothing serious I hope!”

“No, no... nothing serious, Mr. Tyson, I just needed to get away for a while. To clear my head. I'd like to go on the road again. You have anything for me right now?”

“But you told me that with your sister here you didn't want to leave her alone in the city. What's changed your mind about it now? What will she do?”

“Oh, she'll be fine. In all honesty, it's mostly her that I need to be away from for a while. I'm sure Doug will see to her while I'm gone.”

“Hmm, got in a tiff, did you? Well, the cause does need you. Especially now that there's a lot of talk spreading all over the country, talk of a civil war, that is. The Southerners are itching to rebel and form a nation of their own. The Southern States of America. Can you believe that?”

“I know all about the talk, I've just been occupied with other things. But I would like to get back on the road for a while and the sooner the better. I need to clear my head about a few things and I need to be away from here to do that.”

“Well, do you think you can leave in the morning? I've gotten word from a contact in Alabama that there's a slave child needing an escort. He's only three. His ma ran with him and she ended up getting sick along the way and dying. He's got no one now and we can't keep holding him in Alabama, it's not safe. She risked so much for her babe, we need to get him on up here for her.”

“Yes, sir.” John shook the man's hand. “I'll be ready in the morning.”

After leaving Mr. Tyson's John found himself walking aimlessly through the streets of Rochester. It was late when he got back. Sarah was waiting for him.

“John, where have you been? I've been worried sick!”

“I'm fine. I was talking with Mr. Tyson. I'm going back on the road. I'll be leaving in the morning.”

Sarah's face became sober. “No! John,” she pleaded. “Don't do it... don't go! You can't leave me here.”

“Don't fuss, this is something I have to do. Don't be upset, I hate it when you're upset.”

“Yes John, I'll do whatever you say.”

John went to search out Doug. He was the only man around that John knew he could trust with Sarah. He knew his best friend was an honorable man at heart and wouldn't try anything with Sarah as long as he knew how John felt.

“Come in John! How about some brandy?”

“Um, no thanks. I need a favor from you.”

“What is it?”

“I'm leaving for a while and going back on the road and there's something I need you to do for me while I'm gone.”

“Anything.”

“Keep an eye on Sarah, will you?”

“Sure... sure I will. Ya know I will!” he eagerly volunteered.

“And there's something you need to know. I think I'm in love with Sarah.”

Doug's face dropped. “In love with Sarah? Yer own sister?”

“Well, she's not exactly my sister.”

“Who is she if she isn't yer sister?”

“She's my adopted sister. There's no blood ties. She's an Indian orphan that my family took in.”

“Yer adopted sister but, but... ” He suddenly stopped talking and smiled, “Oh, well what can I say, I'm engaged to my full blood cousin.” He laughed.

“So, you will be good, won't you? This isn't just another girl... this is Sarah.”

“Ya can trust me. I give ya my word.”

“Make sure that she's safe and happy. But never tell her what I've said.”

“But, John, what are ya plannin’ on doing about it? Why don't you tell her how ya feel? She may feel the same way as ya do.”

“I don't know that I'm ready for that. I don't think I'm the marrying kind, Doug. My life has been nothing but the cause. Ladies, relationships, children? I can't handle things like this. I don't know, perhaps I'm just afraid that she won't feel the same and I'd look like a fool. I don't like feeling awkward around Sarah. I love her too much.”

“Ya know what the problem is with ya, John? Yer always over-thinking everything.” Doug huffed.

“Just take care of her... I'll be back soon.”

“I should kick yer behind up over your head for bein’ an ass.” Doug shook his head.

“I see.” John laughed. “Anyway, thank you and I'm counting on you. Remember, I love her myself. You, my dear friend, I trust with her.” They shook hands and John slowly made his way to his room.

Sarah stood with Doug as the train taking John away from her slowly gained speed and huffed down the tracks.

“Come on, let's go.” He took her arm.

“Wait, just a minute more. I can still see the train.” She pulled against him.

“Don't ya know that it's bad luck to watch him out of sight?”

“Bad luck?”

“Haven't ya ever heard that before?”

“No... Is it bad luck for him or bad luck for me?”

“Ya know, I don't know!” He chuckled.

“Well I don't believe in such silly things anyway.” Yet Sarah turned before the train was completely out of sight, just in case Doug was right about it. She didn't want bad luck and she surely didn't wish any on John.

“Where do ya want to go now?” Doug asked.

“Home.” Was all she said.

“It's such a pretty day today. Much too pretty for sittin’ in the house.”

“I find it quite insufferable out here... I'm happy at the house.”

“Really?”

“What's that supposed to mean?”

“Are ya really going to be happy anywhere today?”

“No... I guess not,” Sarah admitted.

“Might as well be miserable with me as opposed to bein’ miserable alone.”

Sarah's lips broke into a smile. “Where would we go?”

“How would ya like a stroll in the park?”

“I suppose so. It might do me good.” She nodded her head.

“As you wish, my lady.” He helped her into the carriage.

Sarah didn't care where they went. Going to the park or going back to the house to sit with Mrs. Jenkins, neither of them appealed to her.

“John should be back soon. He hardly ever stays gone over a month.”

“A month? He's leaving me a solid month, and in a place I know absolutely nothing about, with people I hardly know!”

Doug switched sides of the carriage to sit next to her. “Let's not have any of this.” He put his arm around her shoulder. “Brighten up, he'll be back before ya know it. John asked me to watch out for ya while he was away and I'm goin’ to do my utmost to make ya happy.”

“Thank you. I'll be fine.”

“I dedicate this entire month to ya, Miss. DuVal. We're going to have the best time possible. There's much to do and see. You'll be so happy and busy the month will fly by. Just wait and see.”

True to his word, Doug spent every day with Sarah. They went for walks in the park, visited the University, picnicked by the falls and drove out Canal Street, past the James Cunningham and Son Company where Doug told her Mr. Tyson bought all his carriages. They saw the Erie Canal, he showed her the aqueduct where he and John had learned to ice skate many winters ago.

“Is it hard? I'd love to learn. I want to try every new thing I can.” Her eyes sparkled and her voice squeaked with excitement as it had when she was a child.

“If John can learn, anyone can.” He laughed. “Maybe we could all come out this winter and teach ya.”

“That would be nice. I can't wait for cold weather now.” She smiled.

On rainy days they'd play cards with Mrs. Jenkins and Miss. Ruby or go to the library. Sarah was never bored, there was always some event to go to. Something to see. Something to keep her mind busy and her heart from feeling lonely.

A week and a half after John had left Sarah received this telegram.

My Dearest Sarah (stop)

I am in Alabama and am doing fine (stop

Hope you are the same (stop)

Just wanted to let you hear from me, John

She finished reading the telegram and smiled. Just to hear from him was glorious!

Mrs. Jenkins came into the room leaving the door open. “Sarah, dear, do you mind if I borrow one of your hat pins?”

“Pick out the one you'd like. They're on my vanity.”

“My, but don't we look chipper today!”

“It's a beautiful day. The sort of day that makes me happy.”

“Good. I'm glad to see you in such a cheerful mood,” She said as Doug poked his head through the door.

“Sarah, let's go to the library, there's going to be a book sale. I think we might find some bargains.”

“Sure, let me get my hat and purse. Mrs. Jenkins, just close the door when you're done.” She left with Doug.

“Yer lookin’ well today.” he smiled at her.

“I feel rather well today too,” she informed him.

“That's good to hear.” He helped her into the buggy.

Doug was enjoying every minute he spent with Sarah. These days of his guardianship were like a mixed blessing. The more time he spent with her the more he liked her, yet he knew he could do nothing about it. Sarah was unlike any woman he'd ever known. She was not only beautiful but smart and kind. She was tenderhearted yet strong. Sometimes when they sat alone together he'd imagine there was no John. That Sarah was just as much in love with him as he was with her. When they walked through the park, her arm curled around his, he imagined that they were lovers out on an evening stroll. She was so close, yet so far. Forbidden to him.

Everyone began suspecting that Doug and Sarah were indeed lovers. The men stopped coming around to court Sarah. The word had spread far and wide that the engagement between Doug and Gracie had officially dissolved and that Sarah and Doug were to be married soon. “Finally, that boy has found someone who could settle him down!” They'd say, “He hasn't been seen with any other woman since the night of the ball and that's not normal for him in the least!” The rumors traveled like wildfire through Rochester. Sarah and Doug must be getting married soon! It was clear to everyone, viewing these events from the sidelines, exactly what was going on.

Sarah was on her way to the bakery one sunny morning when she bumped into Mr. Atkins. “Good morning, Miss DuVal.” He tipped his hat to her. “I hear congratulations are in order.”

“Excuse me?” She gave him a puzzled look.

“Your engagement, of course.”

“My engagement? Whatever do you mean?”

“Why, you and Mr. Mahaffey. Was it supposed to be a secret? I just figured it was common knowledge if I knew about it. I'm always the last to know these things.”

“We're not engaged, where did you hear that one?”

“The word is all around that he and Miss Gracie have concluded their engagement, and well, I've noticed the time you two are spending together. I just never questioned the validity of the information.”

“So the word is ‘all around’ is it? I can just imagine where this ‘word’ came from.” Sarah smirked. “I am fond of Doug, but he's just entertaining me while John is gone.”

“Oh. I see.” The man's face lit up a bit. “How is your brother? Is he still angry with me?”

“He's fine and no, he's not angry with you,” Sarah lied to be polite.

“The way he acted that day at The Falls, one would have thought I had taken out his wife.” He chuckled.

“He just didn't want me there in case something happened.”

“I understand. I never should have taken a lady to such an event.” He paused then went on. “Um, Since you and Mr. Mahaffey aren't serious, would you consider letting me take you out for a drive again sometime?”

Suddenly, Sarah saw Doug as her means of escape, she should have let the story stand as it was. This rumor must be the reason for the sudden decline of male callers to the boarding house. “Oh, um, well, though we are not engaged, I am still very fond of Mr. Mahaffey and who knows where this might lead in the future.”

“Enough said.” He held up his hand. “I knew what the answer would be, but I just couldn't resist asking the question. Well, I have to get going now, it was good seeing you again. Have a wonderful day, Miss DuVal.”

“And you, Mr. Atkins.” He walked away with a bit of bruised pride she suspected. Sarah, however, felt a clever giggle escape her lips, which she suppressed with her fingertips. She couldn't wait to tell Doug about what wonderful gossip she'd just heard, and she knew exactly from whence it had sprung.
Those two ladies!
Who else but Mrs. Jenkins and Miss Ruby could create and spread such news so quickly? Yes, this definitely had the markings of their crafty minds. In their thirst for gossip, they had given her a way out!

A knock sounded on Sarah's door. “Who's there?” She called.

“Doug.”

She put down her copy of
Emerson
and opened the door.