Cado (12 page)

His lips hovered over mine, our breath intermingling. “I do know you. I know you better than yourself. Right now, you’re thinking that you need to put as much distance between you and me as possible. You think I’m unstable—crazy.”

My eyes popped open to meet his. “So you
can
read my mind?”

“No, I just know how to read your body—your face that well.” I squirmed within his grasp, but that only served to cause friction between myself and his leg. I shivered as goose bumps rose in quick succession. “You can run, my Karma, but I always find you. Always.”

I inhaled sharply. “That—that doesn’t sound like anything any girl wants to hear. Very stalkerish.” I tried to make my words sound light and airy, but I couldn’t quite manage. He’d somehow crept into terrifying territory for me again.

“Maybe a girl wouldn’t want to hear it but a woman would know what my words really mean.”

“And what is that exactly?” I searched his face for clues, curiosity intermingling with my fear.

“Devotion. My words mean devotion.”

Devotion? Maybe. But it sounded like it would be the creepy kind that would land me on the
Discovery ID
channel. “How is it that you in your perfectly tailored suits and immaculately groomed persona somehow are more menacing than a guy with a shaved head, wearing all leather and a bunch of swastikas?”

“That’s the thing about humans, they’re so judgmental when it comes to appearances. Most are quick to label everything and put it in a box. Even the rebels of fashion don the uniform of the nonconformist.”

Despite everything, Lucian always intrigued me. I tilted my head. “The uniform of the nonconformist?”

“Yes.” He chuckled. “All the humans who don’t want to conform. They want to be an individual and be different…so those who want to rebel…they all end up rebelling in the same manner. Soon, they become exactly what they fought against. No longer are they unique, they just wear the uniform of someone who isn’t the norm, or wasn’t before. Norms change all the time. Meet the new boss same as the old boss. They’re all just costumes in the end. Humans love to hide.” He pressed in closer to me. “You see past the costumes…all of them…even mine. They don’t fool you. They never have.”

So he was admitting he was more dangerous than he let on? I shuddered. If I’d been surprised then I would have had more of a reaction. “Yeah, okay, enough existential bullshit about the costumes or masks slash uniforms people wear or whatever. You need to back off and let me get back to my job.”

“No. I came here for a reason. I just got sidetracked when I found you with the Neanderthal.”

I snorted. “Neanderthal? He’s never demanded that I go places with him against my will. Nor has he threatened anyone. He also hasn’t—”

Lucian’s hand slid into my hair and he tugged lightly. His eyes twinkled with mirth. “You bring out my primitive side.”

“So you’re a Neanderthal too?” I goaded. He needed to back away from me. He needed to leave. Fuck the cops, I was heading out of town as fast as I could grab my stuff. Lucian said I couldn’t run from him, but I’d be damned if I was going to take his word for it. I’d go set up shop in Bora Bora or some other tropical place. I was sure there’d be scumbags to punish there as well. I could make it work, no problem.

“No. If I was—you’d be chained to my bed, which doesn’t sound like a bad idea.”

“What?” My mouth dropped open. “You need to—”

“Show you something,” he finished up for me. With that the low lighting of the VIP room blurred and the familiar feeling of falling washed over me.

What scared me so much about Lucian—well and truly terrified me? Despite all I knew about him, and the things I didn’t… I still wanted him anyways. He was a killer. And not in the way that I was. I know it may seem ridiculous to compare types of killers to one another—to say that all killers are not created equal, but they’re not. Everything isn’t black and white. I’d lived in the grey for long enough that I could see the subtle difference in all the glorious shades.

Lucian was twisted and dark, with the kind of possibly unlimited powers that he could and seemed to do pretty much anything he wanted. He was fixated on me in a stalker-ish, creepy way… and yet… He exuded some kind of raw sex appeal, some kind of charisma that made me want to throw all caution to the wind. Lucian was the type of man that was whispered about in cautionary tales. He was the one that you knew you should stay away from…but couldn’t. Was someone like him so intriguing…so alluring that risking everything didn’t even seem to matter?
Yes. Fuck me, but yes.

I wished I could want someone like Moretti…or at least want him for more than some temporary sexual gratification—a bit of fun. The truth was, Lucian’s darkness called to the like inside of me. That was why I ran from him. And that was why I would also run to him. I’d never thought of myself as one of those girls that got mixed up with the wrong man. Hell, I’d punished enough of ‘those types of men’ for what they did to other women. Lucian would burn me. That was a certainty.
No one is fire proof.
The real problem was me wondering how good it would feel inside the flame.

I’ve always been and always would be a broken person. My mission in life was to punish those I found deserving of my dark attention. When you really got down to it, it was my way of coping. Dealing out my brand of karma helped me to make sense of this fucked up world. It made it possible for me to live in it at all. Underneath everything, yeah, I wished that I could be normal. Settle down with a man I loved and one that loved me just as much in return. Maybe start a family. Broken people like me want what others take for granted…the simple things. I just wanted a slice of happiness. I knew I could never get it. I guess that’s what drew me to Lucian. He said he thought that maybe I could understand him. To me, reading in between those lines: Maybe he could understand me. That concept was beyond appealing. Wrap it all up in the package that was Lucian…and yep, maybe it wasn’t so hard to get why I was drawn to him after all.

“It’s so much more than that,” Lucian purred as he pressed his lips against my ear.

I groaned, unsure of where I was or what was going on. It was like I was coming out of a fog mentally. I’d been lost in a place of self-assessment, an internal probing of my emotions and motivations, but I didn’t remember how I’d come to be in that state. Had I fallen asleep?

“I’ve brought you here…to think. You need time. I have too many things to take care of to worry about you and the Neanderthal.” Lucian spat what he had quickly taken to calling Moretti. Was he really that jealous? Sure, I’d spent the better part of the last twenty-four hours fucking Moretti, but it hadn’t meant anything beyond the physical. In fact, my fear of Lucian had been one of the primary factors that had propelled me into Moretti’s arms.

“When you’re ready, I’ll show you what I brought you here to see.” Lucian’s warm hands slid over my body and I shuddered.

“Why can’t I open my eyes? And why do I feel so foggy?” Not to mention peaceful. The latter two facts normally would have sent me into a panic, but not at the moment. No. Instead I felt warm and content, like I just wanted to curl into a ball and sleep. “Did you drug me?” I murmured without any heat.

Lucian chuckled. “No. I have no use for such things.”

“Then why—”

“Shhh… my Karma. Sleep, perchance to dream.” His soft, firm lips pressed against my forehead gently. “I’ve waited too long for you to slip from my grasp again.”

“Mmmm? Again? Lucian?” I drowsily clawed at the air but came back with nothing. I got the sense that he was already gone. Sudden sadness washed over me at the thought. I wanted to talk to him…to know…to know everything that he did.

“And you will, my Karma. Just not now.” Lucian’s voice whispered through my mind, pushing peace and a subtle sense of euphoria through me. I yawned and did what my body wanted—I curled into a ball and drifted off to sleep.

Maybe I dreamt for a while, I wasn’t sure. I did have a vague recollection of blurry images, feelings of unease, but it all ended abruptly. I sat up and blinked my unfamiliar surroundings into clarity. I was in a lavish room, decorated in gold and rich navy blue tones. It wasn’t large though, and the bed I was lying on took up most of the space. I also noticed there were no windows. My attention lasered in on the one door. I lurched from bed and made my way…into the bathroom.
There has to be another door.
And yet when I traced my way around the perimeter of the bedroom and bathroom, I found nothing. It was an impossibility that I couldn’t wrap my mind around. How had I gotten into the room? The door had to be a secret panel or maybe it only opened from the outside? Or maybe I was still asleep? Or…maybe Lucian had just ‘popped’ me in.
Duh.
It was another unique way to fuck with me. I wouldn’t be able to get out of the room without his aid.
Unless he’d left a sledgehammer laying around.

Mentally exhausted I sat on the edge of the large whirl-tub bathtub.
Now what?
Something tickled the back of my hand and I glanced down to see a bug crawling on it. Out of pure instinct I flung my hand around wildly to dislodge its unwanted guest. The little bug landed in the middle of the tub. I jumped up to grab some tissue so I could kill it. For some unknown reason I paused.

It was a ladybug. The small red and black creature was crawling slowly around the slippery center of the tub. I sat back down and watched it. It made its way left for a while and then redirected its course to head to the right. I was overwhelmed by the sudden desire to help the thing. I remembered reading somewhere that ladybugs find their way into bathrooms because they sense water. Maybe it was thirsty? I turned the faucet on and gathered a little bit of water in my palm. I dripped it down in front of the ladybug and continued to watch to see what it would do next. A smile stretched across my face when the little thing crawled into the small puddle and seemed to drink. I had no way of knowing if that’s what it was really doing, but it made me happy to think it was. It made me happy to think that I’d helped it. I felt a kinship with the ladybug. Maybe all it needed was a bit of help to keep it going, to help it survive. It was alone and it probably didn’t understand the size of the world it was in. The tub probably seemed enormous and all encompassing to it.
Maybe that’s what our world is…a big bathtub that we can’t see the edge of. Maybe
—The ladybug suddenly spread its wings and flew from the tub and the room. A giggle escaped from me, which quickly turned to sadness.
If only I could fly.

I curled up on the bathmat beside the tub, uncaring if it was dirty or not, and closed my eyes. Exhaustion overwhelmed me again. I wished I could be like the ladybug and fly from my captivity. I wasn’t even sure what I meant by that. I was in a weird state mentally. I usually wasn’t so…so…philosophical. I wasn’t sure I liked it.

As I sought out slumber once again, I felt Lucian’s presence. “Come my little ladybug, I will help you fly.”

Instead of pleasing me, his words were like stones being dropped into the pit of my stomach. And yet I curled into his warm body when he lifted me, seeking out the comfort it offered. I knew for certain in that moment that Lucian would be my undoing. I was already beginning to unravel, piece by piece, layer by layer. I just hoped there’d be something—anything left when he was finally done with me.