California Dreaming: Four Contemporary Romances (107 page)

He laughed. “You are something, Mandy. I can see your mother’s beautiful spark and my stubborn need for control. When you get your feet under you, you’re going to be able to do some amazing things.”

“What makes you think I don’t have my feet under me right now?”

He walked toward her. “Because you’re stuck in a dead-end job, afraid to take a chance on a career or love.” He shook his head. “When things finally came to a head between your mother and me, I thought the best thing to do was to leave. I didn’t want you to be confused between whatever story she made up and the truth. I can see now that was the wrong choice.”

“Why didn’t you bother to contact me?” The hurt and anger she’d felt all her life spat through those words.

He took another step. “I did, honey. Your mother would never give the phone to you. I’d come to see you, and she’d have you stashed away somewhere. She must have had some sixth sense, because even when I tried to surprise you, she’d have you hidden. Then she moved and I lost track for a while.”

“She was in the hospital. I was only thirteen. Why didn’t you come find me? I had to stay with Lola’s friend! She told me you didn’t want me! Why didn’t you want me?” Tears flowed down her cheeks as the loss she’d lived with for twenty years snaked out of her heart. “She told me you hated me from the beginning—didn’t want me—only stayed home so you could—could—do the sitter.” She slumped to the floor at his feet.

He immediately sat down next to her and stroked her hair. “I
did
want you. I adored you. I was trying to do what was best for you. I blew it. I’m so, so sorry.”

She let the sobs come. Pictures of the past flashed through her mind. She remembered snippets of life as a young girl, playing with her father while her mother was somewhere else. Rarely, they’d gone to the beach as a family. Far too often, there’d been arguments.

Later. Abandonment. Alone with her crazy mother.

She pulled her sobs in and looked wildly around for the tissues.

“I’ll get them.” Her father untangled himself and returned with a box.

She mopped up her face and blew her nose before standing.

“It’s too much,” she said. “I don’t know who to believe.”

“Sally—” he started.

“No.” Sally had betrayed her by telling her father where she lived. This was a matter better discussed with her therapist.

She stepped away from the doorway. “I think it’s best if you leave now.”

He drew in a shaky breath. “I understand. I hope—well, I hope we can build a relationship.” He took a card from his pocket and laid it on the end table. “My cell phone’s on the back. Call me. Anytime. Day or night.”

He put his hands up as if to hug her.

She stepped back.

“I love you,” he said. Then he turned and walked out of the room.

Mandy hugged herself, but didn’t dare think until the front door shut behind him.

• • •

An hour later Mandy was still sitting in the living room. Daisy trotted in, her tail wagging. She must have sensed Mandy’s mood, because her tail drooped and she rested her head on Mandy’s knee.

Mandy fondled the soft head. “You understand, don’t you, girl. After all, Sarah said you were abandoned.”

A clunk and swear word from the hall let her know her friend needed help.

Mandy jumped up and helped Sarah bring in a bag of clothing, groceries, diaper bag, and baby. Mandy put the food away and made them tea while Sarah nursed Hannah and put her to bed.

Once the world returned to what passed as normal in a house with a baby, Sarah came into the kitchen with a satisfied smile. “She should be out for a few hours. Mom wore her out before we left.”

Mandy indicated the bag on one of the chairs. “More baby clothes?”

Sarah lowered herself into a different chair. “Yep. Mom’s intent on spoiling Hannah, swearing it may be the only grandchild she’s going to get at the rate Hunter and I are going.”

Mandy laughed. “She should talk. Any word on when she and Marcos may tie the knot?”

“She hasn’t said anything, but a thick envelope arrived from Italy yesterday. I couldn’t figure out which part of their bureaucracy sent it—all those departments sound the same to me—but it was thick enough to be an Italian marriage application or permission for Mom to set foot in Marcos’s country for extended periods of time, or something they’d need to get Italy to recognize their marriage. At least that’s what I’m hoping.”

Mandy put the teapot on the table, along with a small plate of cookies.

“Oh, yum! Perfect! I’m starved.”

“I thought you ate with your mother.”

“I did. But I’m hungry all the time because I’m feeding the baby.” She leaned forward. “Mom wants us all there for Thanksgiving—she told me to make sure you were coming—so there may be a big announcement coming.” She paused and looked at Mandy intently. “What the hell happened to you?”

“My father came to visit.”

“Oh.” Sarah jumped up and hugged Mandy. “Are you okay? No. Of course you aren’t. Sure we shouldn’t have wine instead of tea?”

Sarah was rattling. Mandy wasn’t the only one. The observation let a wisp of sunshine into her gray-cloud day.

Mandy smiled slightly. “It’s okay. Tea will be fine.” She poured it into the cups.

“What did he say?”

Mandy shook her head. “He wants to have a relationship. After twenty years he wants a daughter again.” She let a wave of pain wash over her. “He told me his side of things. I’m confused. His story and Lola’s are so different. How do I figure out the truth?”

“Sounds like something for your therapist.”

Mandy bit into a cookie. The sweetness opposed her mood. “How’s
he
going to know who’s telling the truth?”

“What about Sally? She was there when your parents were young, wasn’t she?”

“Yeah. Sally. I don’t know what her game is. She’s the one who told my father where I was.”

“Oh.” Sarah touched Mandy’s hand. “You’ve always liked her. Said she was a straight-shooter.”

“Yeah. She had me fooled.”

Sarah shook her head. “She had a reason, I’m sure. Why don’t you call her and ask?”

“Not ready.” Mandy stood and threw her cookie in the trash.

“What about James, then?”

“Not ready for him yet either.”

Sarah took a sip of her tea.

Mandy felt Sarah studying her. She leaned against the sink and glared at her friend. “What?”

“Ouch. You don’t have to bite my head off.”

“Sorry. I’m a little tense.”

“I noticed.”

Although she didn’t want to, Mandy returned to the table and picked up her tea. She couldn’t afford to alienate her best friend. Sarah was the only rock in her world.

“You know,” Sarah said softly. “I wasn’t ready for Hunter, either. He had to push past a lot of my defenses and wait around while I figured out what to do with Rick.”

“But you had your mother to rely on. Mine’s crazy, remember?”

Sarah rolled her eyes. “My mother was no help at all then. At the time she was pushing me to stay with Hannah’s dad.”

“Have you heard from Rick?” Mandy asked. Talking about Sarah’s issues was easier than talking about her own.

“I let him know when Hannah was born and that I’d made sure his name was on the birth certificate, but I haven’t heard anything from him. If he ever decides he wants contact, I’m sure he’ll do something dramatic, like hire a lawyer, instead of simply calling up and talking about it.” She took another cookie. “But we were talking about you.”

“I was trying to avoid that topic.”

“I know. You
are
going to discuss this with your therapist, aren’t you?”

Mandy nodded.

Sarah traced the wood grain on the table. “Hunter and I were talking last night.”

Uh-oh. Here it comes.
“I take it you were talking about me.”

“Yeah. Hunter thought James was an okay guy while he was staying here for those few weeks during the summer. I think they even shared a beer or two.”

“Male bonding at its best.”

Sarah shrugged. “It seems to work for them.” She gestured at the cups of tea. “Maybe they have the right idea.” She chuckled briefly, then sobered. “He thought—well, we thought—it might be nice to have James come up for the weekend. The four of us could go out or something, and Hunter could do some more of that male bonding.”

“You mean interrogate James as to his intentions.”

“Something like that.”

Mandy put her head in her hands. Her temples were beginning to pound; the result of thinking about things that didn’t make sense. Good thing her appointment with her therapist was in a few days.

“Let me talk to Doctor Graham before I do anything drastic like invite James up here.”

Sarah stood and stepped behind her. With strong hands, she massaged the tension in Mandy’s shoulders.

Mandy drifted into the soothing ministrations, too worn out to protest that Sarah needn’t bother.

When did I develop this belief I wasn’t worth someone caring about me?

The answer was easy. Her mother’s world centered on Lola Parker, and Dana hadn’t been there to defend her. Mandy stiffened again.

“Ugh!” Sarah exclaimed. “Would you please stop thinking? I had you all relaxed, and then you must have had one hell of an ugly thought because you became concrete under my fingertips.”

“Sorry.” Mandy straightened. She twisted in her chair and looked up at Sarah. “You’re a good friend. Thanks for being there for me.” Her eyes misted with emotion.

“Oh, honey,” Sarah said. “I only wish I could do more.”

A ringing phone snapped the mood. Mandy looked around for its source and saw her cell phone where she’d put it on the kitchen counter. She rose and went to pick it up, glancing at the readout before answering.

Crap.
She’d forgotten about her arranged phone call with James.

James stared out his apartment window at a darkening sky. He could have sworn this was the time Mandy had suggested for the call. What was taking her so long to answer? Had she changed her mind?

When the phone went to voicemail, he left a brief message, then slumped into his office chair and stared at the phone. Maybe he’d misread the situation in Yosemite.

His phone rang, and he almost dropped it. “Hello?” he asked hopefully without bothering to look at the readout.

“Hi.”

It was Mandy.

“I thought I’d missed you.” An awkward silence hummed across the wires. “What’s up?”

“I don’t think this is the best time for a call.”

He debated the right thing to do. Letting her go without objection seemed like a wimp-out, but he didn’t want to push her away. “Can you tell me why?”

Big sigh from the other end of the call. “I don’t have the energy. My father showed up today. Sally told him where I was.”

Crap.
Had he known Sally was going to interfere, he would have done his best to stop her. On the other hand, once Sally became determined to do something, there was little anyone could do to change her course of action.

“I’ve known Sally a long time,” he said. “She does things because she thinks they’re right. She tries to be helpful.”

“Well, this wasn’t the right thing to do.”

“I can see how you think that.”

“Are you taking her side?”

“No.” He was making things worse. “I’m not taking her side.” He hesitated, unsure of how she’d take what he was going to say. “But I don’t think this is about taking sides. She was trying to help you. She cares about you.”

“And Dana.”

“True.” He wanted to say more, but he remembered his mother’s admonition about keeping quiet during a conversation with a woman.

She let out a breath. “I don’t know what to believe. Lola’s told me one thing all my life, but his story is different. How do I find out the truth?”

“Your therapist might be able to help.”

“I hope so.”

So did he. “How are you doing other than that?”

“Okay, I guess. Like I told you, there are enough shifts at Costanoa Grill to pay my expenses, and I’m helping Sarah expand her offerings at the inn. “

She didn’t have the same spark she’d had in Yosemite. Was it her father, or something more?

“Sounds like things are going the way you wanted them to.”

“Yeah.”

He threw his mother’s advice out the window. “I know you’re upset, but what can I do to cheer you up? A funny joke? Did you hear the one about the film shoot in the desert? The accordion player?”

A few seconds of silence made him think he’d misstepped.

Then he heard a faint chuckle.

“So the accordion player locks his car and goes into a store to buy some cigarettes. While he’s in line he remembers he left his accordion in plain view on his back seat. He rushes out. Too late. Someone has already broken in and left two more accordions in his car.”

Mandy laughed.

He wanted to hear that laugh for the rest of his life.

“That joke was so bad.”

“I know. It put a smile on your face, though.”

“Yes.”

The connection they’d had in Yosemite was back. His heart lifted in hope.

“How’s work going for you?” she asked.

He hesitated. Life in Hollywood could become complicated quickly. “I’m in the running for two suspense pictures.” May as well bite the bullet. “They’re both produced by Dana Russell’s company.”

“Oh.”

“Look, Mandy, he’s one of the premier producers in the business, and one of the most active. It was inevitable I’d work for him sooner or later. It looks like it might be sooner. It’s my career, and it’s important to me.”

“More important than I am?”

He took a deep breath. “That was a low blow, Mandy. You know you’re important to me. I’ve tried to let you know that. Hell, I even threw out my life plan.” He couldn’t decide whether he was angry or simply frustrated.

“Sorry. You’re right. I … I guess … um … ”

This time he let the silence be.

“I don’t know what to do about anything. My life is in chaos. I can’t make a decision. I keep thinking therapy will help, but I’m still all messed up.”

“You need a break. Any chance you could get a day off? I could fly up and meet you in Monterey like we talked about. We could see the aquarium, have a nice dinner.”