California Dreaming: Four Contemporary Romances (23 page)

Elizabeth gave him a sharp glance. “Okay.”

“Anything new on the job front?”

“No,” Elizabeth said sharply.

“Did I do something wrong?”

Her eyes flashed. “I don’t want to see my friend hurt. She’s been hurt enough already. So why don’t you stay away from her?” She turned and started to walk away.

“Wait, Elizabeth. What are you talking about? I’m not going to hurt her.” Then it hit him. “You’re talking about the kiss you saw. Beth threw herself at me. I didn’t initiate it. You saw me get out of there as fast as I could. My manager, Sunshine, says Beth’s after every single man within a hundred miles. That wasn’t my fault.”

“That’s not all I’m talking about. I saw you last night — holding hands with that woman.”

Deborah. Was there no end to the trouble that woman was going to cause him? “She’s an old friend in trouble. It didn’t mean anything.”

“It didn’t look like an old friend. Apparently everyone else is to blame for your actions. You’re just like Fred. I don’t know how Annie manages to attract men like you, but apparently she’s not over the losing streak yet. Stay away from her!”

Elizabeth turned away again and ran toward the entrance of the park. Santa Cruz County was turning out to be like a very small town — no secrets anywhere. John shook his head and swung his leg over Starfire, turning the mare up the trail and urging her into a quick trot. He needed time away from trouble-causing females.

• • •

Annie attended David’s early morning soccer game the next day, her feelings close to the surface. David mumbled hello before heading off to join his team.

Fred shrugged. “He hasn’t said much. I’ve let him be for now. Hopefully, he’ll open up to you.” He looked over at her. “I really think you should reconsider this move, Annie.”

She started to speak, but he raised his hands in surrender. “I’m not going to say any more right now. But I want you to think about what it’s doing to David.”

She felt like that’s all she was ever thinking about. When was the answer going to come clear to her?

“Why’d you run away?” she asked her son after they were both in the car and pulling away from the soccer field.

David shuffled his feet on the floor mat. “I heard you telling Dad you were taking me to New Jersey. I keep trying to tell you I don’t want to go there. You don’t believe me. I thought if I left, you’d miss me and change your mind. Then I thought if I stayed with Dad you’d see we could make it work since you’re all bent on leaving.”

Teenage logic at its best.
“I hear what you’re saying,” Annie said. “I’m trying to do the right thing — make sure we have enough and that there’s money for college. Keeping my job seems to be the only way to do that. But I don’t want you miserable either. And I definitely don’t want you acting out anymore — understood?”

“I get it. Does that mean we’re staying in California?”

“No, it means I’m going to think some more about other options.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

“It means I promise to see if I can come up with another idea and you promise to stop acting out. Okay?”

“Okay.”

Annie could hear the relief in his voice. “Promise?”

“Promise.”

The phone was ringing when Annie walked into the house with David. “Hello?” Annie said.

“Hi, Annie. It’s John.”

“Oh. Hello.”

“I thought I’d take you to coffee if you aren’t too busy,” he said.

“I’m sorry John, but I’m really busy.”

“Let me bring you coffee then.”

“No, I don’t think so.”

“Look,” John said, “I ran into Elizabeth this morning and she told me she’d seen some things — things that could be misinterpreted. I guess she told you, too.”

“It’s no concern to me. I’m moving to New Jersey, remember?”
He doesn’t need to know any differently.

“It’s important to me. I’d like to come over and explain.”

“No explanations necessary. I’ve got to go. See you next time I stop by the bookstore.” Annie hung up the phone quietly, feeling a loss she couldn’t quite explain. Maybe this is what Carol meant by denying her feelings. What was she feeling about John? Could she be in love?

I don’t have time for love. I have a teenager to take care of.

Annie slammed the door on her emotions and went into the office to surf the web, looking for new bread recipes. Getting her hands in some yeasty, sticky dough would improve her mood.

“Mom?” A freshly washed David stood at her office door. “Can I go over to Kerry’s? We’ve got a chemistry test on Monday and she said she’d help me study.”

“Who’s Kerry?”

“Ah, Mom, you know who Kerry is. We’ve gone to school, like, together, like, forever.”

“Kerry Sunderson?”

“Yeah.”

Annie searched her memory — finally the image surfaced — a round-faced child with café-au-lait skin and brown corkscrew curls. “I remember now. She used to be at all your birthday parties. Where’s she been the last ten years?”

“Around. We just haven’t talked much. So can I go?”

Annie felt her eyes widen slightly. David and Kerry hadn’t talked much … until now. Was her son actually developing an interest in girls? What kind of girl had Kerry turned into?

“Um … sure … just make sure I have their phone number.”

David rolled his eyes. “I’m not five.”

“No, but you’ve sure been acting like it — running away, shoplifting.”

“M-o-m, I promised I wouldn’t do it anymore.”

“I would be more comfortable having a phone number. What if something happened to me or your dad?”

“See, that’s why I need a cell phone. Then you could always find me.”

“How about you make restitution first, and then we can talk about a cell phone.”

“Yeah. I’ll get the number.” He thundered down the stairs and was up a moment later, one hand holding a backpack, the other thrusting a grubby note at her. “See you.”

“Home by ten!” Annie yelled at his departing back. She smiled to herself and turned back to the computer. In spite of everything, her son might turn out okay.

The doorbell rang a few hours later. Yelling that she was coming, Annie ran to the door and yanked it open. John.

They stared at each other.

“May I come in?” he finally said, removing his hat. “We need to talk.”

She stood there for a moment, debating whether to let him in or not. Finally, she stood aside and gestured for him to walk up the stairs. “I can make some tea or coffee.”

“Whichever is easiest.”

“No problem either way.”

“Then I’d love a cup of coffee. Thanks.” John followed her into the kitchen. Annie glanced around the room, glad she’d cleaned up after her earlier bread-making. The yeasty smell of fresh-baked bread still lingered.

“Is that fresh bread I smell?” he asked.

She nodded.

“Smells good,” he said. “Make it yourself?”

“Yes. It relaxes me. Would you like a slice?”

“No, thanks. Maybe some other time.”

They were silent until the coffee finished percolating. She tried to think of something to say, but couldn’t come up with any topic she wanted to risk discussing with him.

She handed him a cup of coffee, grabbed one of her own and led the way to the living room and sat on one edge of the couch. “Don’t worry about the furniture,” she said as he waved the mug around, looking for someplace to put it. “With a teenage son, I ordered extra furniture protection; it won’t stain.”

He sat his cup and cowboy hat on the coffee table. “Annie.”

“John, it doesn’t really matter who you see or don’t see. We don’t have a relationship or the hope of having one. I’ve thought it over and it’s smart for you to move on. I’m fine with it.”
Good job,
said the chorus member in charge of protecting her heart.

“Where I come from,” John said, “‘fine’ is a code-word for ‘everything’s in the crapper.’”

Annie’s eyes opened wide before she started to laugh. She laughed loudly, hysterically, uncontrollably. Her body began to release the stress of the last few weeks in ever-increasing waves, waves that turned her laughter to sobs. For the second time in an as many days, tears streamed down her cheeks.

John gathered her in his arms and kissed the top of her head. “It’s okay. Let it out,” he said. She stiffened. Men in her life usually ran away when she started crying; they didn’t put their arms around her. What did he want?

Could he want what he was giving her? Simple comfort?

She was tired of asking questions that had no answers. It was time to let go and the softness of his flannel shirt seemed like the perfect place to shed her tears and fears. She relaxed into his chest and let herself cry.

He held her and caressed her back.

The sobs eventually ran out. “I’m sorry,” she choked into his chest.

“Hush,” he said. “There’ll be time for talk later. Relax.”

There was really no choice. She let her eyes close and her exhausted body slump into his. Seduced by the comfort of his body, she drifted into a light doze of exhaustion.

When she woke, she was disoriented by the closeness of a lean male body. Her neck was cramped from the angle she’d been sleeping and she was startled to see her hand draped on his thigh. She snatched back her hand, pushed herself upright and stared at John. “How long was I asleep?”

He checked his watch. “About a half an hour. You needed it.”

“And you just sat there?”

“Uh-huh.” His blue eyes inspected her. “I got used to it when Jessica was ill. She’d get angry at what was happening, cry hard like you did and then fall asleep in my arms for a time. It was a comfort to us both.”

“Thank you. No one’s ever done that for me before.”

“Then no one’s ever really loved you before.”

The words hung in the air.

She stood up abruptly. He rose as well. They stared at each other intently.

John put his hands on her upper arms and pulled her closer. His kiss was cautious at first, feathery touches that left her wanting more. She closed her eyes, and felt her lips grow soft under his. What was she doing? He still hadn’t explained the woman in the wine bar.

Her breath hitched.

Shut up
, she told her chorus.

John’s lips became more demanding, his tongue caressing her lips. She parted her lips to receive his probing tongue. He tasted like strong coffee and crisp fall nights. She felt his hands moving across her back, pulling her closer to him and reached her arms around him, smoothing the flannel shirt as she caressed the lean muscles underneath.

His arms pulled her closer, his hands more urgent. Annie felt his hunger and her own heart opened in response. The hard shell that protected it began to crack. She became supple, yielding to his demands.

The kiss became deeper and Annie opened her eyes a little, turned on even more by the sight of evening stubble across a lean cheek. She moaned, leaning into him.

What the hell was she doing?

Her body stiffened again.

John pulled back, lifting his lips from hers, but still holding her in his arms. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have done that.”

“Oh, yes, you should have. It was amazing.”

“Then why … ”

“I didn’t mean to. All of a sudden I realized that I was behaving badly. I mean, all I can give you is a one-night stand and all I want is more.”

“Why can’t you have it?”

Good question.
“I don’t know, but I think I should figure it out before we do any more of … of … that.” She fluttered her hand in his direction.

“Oh, I don’t know. How about you stop thinking and find out what happens.” He closed in on her mouth again.

The muscles in his arms flexed as he drew her closer. The bulge in his jeans pressed against her, as a gush of heat and liquid rushed between her legs.
What would he be like naked?
She wanted to strip off his clothes and rub her hands all over his skin. She caressed his back. Desire trumped any thoughts of reticence and she moved her hands lower, where his shirt was tightly tucked into his jeans. She wanted to feel his butt, pull him closer to her, feel that bulge between her legs.

The cell phone hanging on John’s belt rang.

“Damn,” John said, “I’ll ignore it. It’ll stop in a minute.”

“Maybe it’s important. Who is it?” In her experience, unexpected calls always meant trouble.

He sighed, unclipped the cell phone from his belt, flipped it open and glanced at the number, keeping one hand on her arm. He shook his head, punched a button and flipped it closed. “Where was I?”

Suddenly, she remembered Elizabeth’s story of seeing John with another woman. She stepped back from the embrace and picked up her coffee cup. It was cool. “Anything important?”

“Deborah — remember, I told you about her — I dated her after Jessica died.”

“Oh.” Annie sat in the armchair. “Are you back together?”

“No.” He sat on the edge of the couch nearest the chair.

“Deborah must have been the woman in the wine bar,” Annie said.

“I meant to tell you about that, but I kind of got distracted.” He grinned.

She wasn’t going to let this go. “Is she here for business?”

He shook his head. “I wish. It turns out the man Deborah fell for in Bozeman was married. He went back to his wife. Deborah came down here in hopes of starting up again. I told her ‘no.’”

“Then why were you holding her hand?”

John took a deep breath. “I know what it feels like to be betrayed. She meant something to me once, not as much as she should have, but something. She looked so sad. I wanted to comfort her. That’s when Elizabeth must have walked by. It’s all that happened. Trust me.” He took her hand.

Trust him. Isn’t that what they all said? Then when they had you, the problems came out.
I wonder what he’s really like?

She pulled her hand away and stood up. “I’m sorry, John, I can’t. This is happening too fast. There’s too much going on. I’m not ready.”

John stood and pulled her around to face him. “My time with Deborah is over, Annie. I’ve found what I’m looking for. Give me a chance to show you. Don’t throw it away because you’re afraid. I’ll never hurt you purposefully, Annie. I’ll treasure you and keep you safe.”