Called Up (27 page)

Chapter Thirty

Two hours after leaving the bar, Deke found himself still sitting in his Jeep, staring out over the creek. He had no idea what he’d been thinking. He wasn’t fishing, that was for damn sure. It had been raining all day and the temperature had dropped about twenty degrees in the last hour alone, plus the thunderstorm that had just started was making it clear this was not the best day to be out here. But he was at a complete loss as to what to do.

He couldn’t go back to the bar right now. He had no interest in seeing another living soul, to be honest. Hell, the way he was feeling right now, he could see himself getting back on the road and driving right up Highway 35 until Inspiration was so far behind him that it wasn’t even a speck on a map. The rest of the world be damned.

Keeping what had happened to her in high school a secret, yeah, he got that. He even understood why she’d wanted to keep what they’d been doing from everyone else—he couldn’t imagine facing either Nate or Dorie right now, much less Wash or Jason once they heard the whole story.

At the same time, though, he was...
pissed
. How long had she known she was up for this job? How long since she’d decided to leave? He let his head fall back against the seat. Doesn’t need to be complicated, my ass. What a fucking idiot he’d been.

Damn it, Fitz. Give me
something
.

Of course he’d fallen in love with her. How could he have expected anything else? But she was also the most infuriating creature on the face of this earth. She’d pushed him right up and over the breaking point. Hell, up until today he hadn’t even known he
had
a breaking point. But there it was. If only he didn’t love her so much. If only he didn’t want to see her happy, honest-to-God happy, for once in her life.

Yeah. If only. Things would be a hell of a lot easier, that was for fucking sure.

He was so lost in his own thoughts, and okay, maybe he was blasting AC/DC as loud as his speakers could go, that it took him a minute or two before he heard it.

He turned the music down for a second and...

Fuck
. Tornado sirens. He leaned forward in order to see more of the sky as he powered his phone back on. It practically blew out of his hand the second it came to life. There were no less than five tornado watch alerts, and another came up right then, except this one was a warning. Which meant there wasn’t a chance of a tornado, there
was
one. If the sudden influx of voicemails and texts meant anything, it was that it was heading right toward Inspiration.

Although the last thing he should do was get back on the road, he threw the Jeep into gear and backed out of the brush faster than a bat could work its way out of hell. Two seconds later he was barreling down the highway into town, watching the huge black cloud off in the distance, the sky pea soup green all around him. There was no way he was stopping until he had Fitz in his arms. She may not be in love with him—she may not ever have the capacity to be—but no matter how fucked up things were right now, he cared more deeply for her than anyone he’d ever known. There was no way he was letting her ride this out alone.

He glanced up to his left, pausing for a split second as the power of what he saw registered. It was still out over the fields, a massive wedge of a cloud ready to unleash its fury. Tendrils dropped down out of it, swirling along the ground. He’d never actually been in a tornado. He and Lola had been up in Ames with their grandparents when the one that destroyed the town hit seventeen years before and, to be honest, it was mesmerizing. From this far away, at least. But it wasn’t exactly the time to be in awe of Mother Nature. He slammed his foot down on the gas, cranking it up to ninety.

The streets were deserted by the time he got into town, an apocalyptic scene with cars pulled haphazardly to the sides of the road as their occupants escaped to the nearest shelter. When he turned off the main road and towards the town center, right there on the sidewalk were Nate and Dorie, standing and arguing, despite it seriously not being the time for that. Nate looked like he was restraining Dorie so she couldn’t turn back. Deke pulled up next to them and leaned out the window.

Without even a word of hello, Nate said, “We were at Dorie’s when the sirens went off. Fitz was right there with us. I have no fucking clue where she went.”

There wasn’t even time to wonder. Deke nodded, ready to move forward again.

“We’ll help you find her,” Dorie said—well, shouted, in order to be heard.

Hell, no. Fitz would kill them all if something happened to Dorie. Deke looked at Nate. “I’ve got this.”

To his complete surprise, Nate didn’t even attempt to fight him on it. Instead, he nodded before turning back to Dorie and saying, “We’re going to the bar. You’re either walking on your own or I’m carrying you.”

Deke didn’t even look to see which way Dorie chose. He floored the gas.

Those last few blocks were the longest trip Deke had ever taken in his life. He didn’t have time to go slow and he had to pay extra close attention to driving, but he did his damnedest to keep his eyes out for Fitz along the way. She had to be somewhere close by, and one glance in the rearview mirror was enough to tell Deke he was running out of time. He screeched around the corner onto Dorie’s street...

And came to a sudden halt.

If not for the particular circumstances it would have been comical to watch Fitz wrestle with Nate’s Mustang as it bucked back and forth. She was actually attempting to maneuver out of a parking spot without hitting the cars to her front or back.

During a
tornado
.

He pulled to the side of the road and jumped out of his Jeep, his eye on what now seemed like a much more rapidly approaching cloud. He got to the Mustang and was about to wrench the door open when she looked up and smiled.

Smiled.
And waved.

No fear, not even anger. She just got out of the car and said, “Oh, good.”

He truly was delusional. Good?

“Are you out of your fucking mind?”

She looked up at him. “I didn’t think it would be that hard to drive a stick.”

What?

Then she looked past him, her hand over her eyes as the wind whipped her hair around.

“Oh,” she said, taking a step back. Her eyes widened. “Oh, wow.”

He looked over his shoulder to see the cloud was a lot fucking closer. And its tendrils had joined together into a funnel that was now zig-zagging its way toward town. There was the roar of a train, and then the rat-a-tat-tat of machine gun fire as the hail began to fall. Big freaking balls of hail. And they
hurt
.

He grabbed her hand and they ran toward the building. They were only twenty feet away from the door leading up to Dorie’s apartment, thank God, because even that seemed too far away. The stairway had only a few small windows along the ceiling, but the hail was so loud Deke was sure it was strong enough to break the glass. The apartment door was wide open. He pushed Fitz ahead of him into the living room when the drop of pressure made his head feel like it was going to explode and the sound of the loudest train whistle he’d ever heard suddenly seemed about ten times louder.

So this was what it was like to be in the middle of a tornado. Holy freaking fuck.

With a burst of speed he didn’t know she had in her, Fitz ran straight back to the bathroom while Deke detoured to the bedroom to pull the mattress off the bed. He was right behind, jumping into the bathtub after her, pulling the mattress over them just as the windows blew out. And then he clung with all his might, his arms straining as he fought the wind, as she curled into him and buried her head against his chest.

Afraid that it all might be too much for Fitz, he chanced a look down at her. She didn’t seem even the least bit scared. Just kind of...calm. Serene.

“What the fuck were you doing out there?” he asked at one point.

“Coming for you,” she answered.

“That was, uh...” How to put it best? “...fucking crazy.”

“It’s called faith, Deke,” she said, a smile on her face as she tucked her head into his neck.

She was clearly in shock.

Even if they made it through this it was, without doubt, the end. Of course she was going to take that job—after Mother Nature’s repeat performance, she might not even come back to visit.

Deke would figure out a way to live with it, though. Eventually. Right now, buffeted by the wind and knowing he was the only one standing—well, lying in a tub while holding the mattress over the top of them—between Fitz and a tornado, he decided he could do all his figuring out later. He’d found her. That was enough for now.

* * *

Fitz took a sledgehammer to a lot of walls as she lay there in Deke’s arms.

She loved him.

It wasn’t just the lover he was, coaxing her body into bliss, night after night, or the friend he’d been to her for over half her life, nor was it the brother he was to Lola, the uncle he was to every kid in the Deacon and Hawkins clan. It was the man he was—the man who had changed because of her, but refused to be fully broken in order to keep her. Refused to let
her
break
him
.

She was, actually, broken.

It wasn’t that she was dead inside, but she had been wounded. Almost mortally so. The life had drained out of her and she’d existed as a shell for seventeen years. She didn’t even realize it until these last few months. Until she felt the pain of him walking away and realized the only one standing in the way was
her.

She didn’t need to be happy for her life to come crashing down around her.

It could happen while she was miserable and heartbroken, while she was cursing all the years she’d wasted because she was afraid of what might happen if she tried to step out into the light.

She’d hurt him. Disappointed him. She’d be lucky if he even thought about giving her another chance. But she also knew what she had to lose if she couldn’t get past this overwhelming fear of what lay ahead in order to just live every day with him.

As the wind died down and she could feel Deke begin to relax as he no longer had to struggle to hold the mattress over them, she looked up at him. “You came back for me.” As she’d known he would.

She’d just planned to get to him first.

“I always will,” he answered, and for the first time in seventeen years, Fitz felt true peace. But she had a long way to go before she could count on that lasting.

Sure enough, even as he smiled his eyes grew dark. “But, Fitz—”

His phone rang, startling both of them, although she supposed she could thank their own foundation for that. They’d helped the town put up extra cell towers for this very purpose—and she was grateful for the reprieve.

“Yeah, I got her,” Deke said once he answered. “She’s fine. Dorie?”

Fitz closed her eyes, tightening her arms around Deke as she rested her head on his chest.

“Okay,” he was saying. “I have to call Lo—” Fitz felt his whole body release its tension. “Oh, thank fuck. Jules and...” His head fell back against the edge of the tub as he shoved the mattress off to the side. “That thing was massive. I’ve never seen anything like it... Yeah, probably not my greatest idea.” Knowing he was looking down at her, Fitz smiled as his hand brushed through her hair. “The fishing hole. Pretty damn stupid... It wasn’t exactly a choice.”

Fitz could hear Nate’s laugh over the phone and she smiled. Nate and Dorie knew. She hadn’t been in any state to admit it to them, but they knew. Now she just had to figure out how to tell Deke. Especially because, odds were, he wouldn’t believe her. He’d think it was because of the tornado. Maybe even that she’d gone a little crazy.

Maybe she had.

“Everyone’s okay?” she asked, as Deke put down the phone.

He let his head fall back again and closed his eyes, his fingers playing lazily with her hair. “They had a big old party in the basement of the bar, Lola and Jules and the kids. They picked them all up when the first watch was issued. Everyone else is either there or checked in.”

“And everyone’s houses?”

He shrugged. “Unclear. But houses can be rebuilt.” And there was nothing they could do about that at the moment. Truly nothing, because he added, “Police said to stay put while they figure everything out.”

“Really?” she asked, a smile coming over her face even though this was so not the time. “As in, we’re not allowed to move out of this nice, big tub?”

His head came up and his eyes flashed a warning. “Fitz...”

“I know,” she said, burrowing her head in his chest even though she wasn’t sure she still had the right. She brought her hand up to play with the button on his shirt. “I’m...” Her voice caught. “I’m so sorry. I don’t even know what else to say.”

He didn’t answer at first. He didn’t try to put distance between them, or even stop her hand, but he held himself so still beneath her. And when he did speak, it wasn’t exactly what she wanted to hear.

“Here’s the thing,” he said. “I know you, Fitz. With the exception of song lyrics—” she pulled back in order to glare at him, not the easiest thing to do given the twinkle in his eye “—you’re really good at everything you do.”

But then even the slightest hint of a smile left his face, his gaze growing intense as he stared at her and then looked away. “It makes me think that you loving me isn’t something you want to be good at.”

She wanted to deny it. She wanted to tell him that she’d suddenly changed her mind and she couldn’t care less about this job because all she wanted in life was to give him the happily ever after he deserved.

But she couldn’t.

“You’re right,” she said, voice raw. “I don’t. I really don’t want to be in love with you.” He tensed up again. Pulled back even as she held on. “But it turns out I suck more at fighting it.”

It wasn’t a choice. Just like Nate had said—like Deke had. Not that that helped matters in anyway.

To her surprise, he laughed softly as his arms tightened around her. “I think that might be the most honest thing you’ve ever said to me.”