Callie's World (2 page)

Callie signing off

Xxx

Hi guys,

I know it's Autumn and everything but why
does the weather have to be so gloomy? The sky is dark and grey. I
hate eating my breakfast with the light on; it just doesn't seem
right.  I think I have that disease called SAD. As soon as the
dark mornings and nights start drawing in my mood shifts so that I
get grumpier and grumpier.

Anyway, it doesn't help that I had to go into
work this morning after having only three hours sleep last night.
It was my own fault, though. Lila wanted us to go out to the local
karaoke club we used to go to when she lived at home. I've not been
going out on Sunday nights for some time now and so I'm seriously
hung over.  It didn't help that the pub stayed open well into
the early hours and Lila can be quite persuasive when it comes to
drinks. I only meant to have two but that soon turned into five and
after that I can't quite remember. I felt like killing her this
morning when I saw her tucked in her bed, a huge smile on her face
while I struggled to get dressed without waking her. We used to
share a bedroom and it was weird doing it again last night. Mum
still kept the beds just the way they were. ("You never know when
someone might decide to stay the night," she'd say.) Lila is back
at home now so Mum had better get used to people suddenly deciding
to stay the night, particularly if they are red-blooded males
(Lila's favourite type).

I don't know what happened with her and her
hubby. She told us it was still too raw to discuss and she will
tell us all in good time. Meanwhile, she tried to convince us she's
changed and she is going to start being more serious.  If last
night was anything to go by then I don't think she's trying hard
enough.  She's gotten even louder since living in Las Vegas;
it must be the party atmosphere over there or something. She's also
got a slight American accent, which when mixed with scouse, isn't
like music to the ears and nor was her singing.  She belted
out Tina Turner, Kelly Clarkson and Leona Lewis and I swear there
were less people in the pub after she'd finished than before she
started. I'm not saying I'm a great singer or anything but she
doesn't realize how bad she is and when I try to tell her she just
says that she's still going on X-factor and there's nothing I can
do to stop her. Well, if she wants to look bad on telly then let
her. I won't be one of those "supportive" family members cringing
in the background, that's for sure.

So there you have it, Lila's serious job
search is now going to be applying for x-factor. We all know she's
not got a cat in hell's chance (mainly because she sounds like a
cat in hell) but you have to admire her determination.

There was one good thing that happened last
night, though and I wasn't going to tell you all about it because
it's a bit like tempting fate, but...I met a guy. He's called David
and he's quite cute. He doesn't live locally but he doesn't live
too far away either. He's a horse trainer and you can tell; he's
got the perfect sportsman's physique and he's just so nice I know,
I know, I'm gushing.  I'm not getting my hopes up but I'm
supposed to be meeting him on Wednesday night.  We're going
bowling. Little does he know I used to play in a league! I know
it's not the usual first date sort of thing but we both wanted to
do something where we wouldn't have to focus on how nervous we
were. I'll tell you more about it on Wednesday. Meanwhile I'm going
to go out and see a woman who claims she can see colours just by
touching things. Sounds interesting but I hope she's got lots of
coffee because I'm starting to flag.

Bye for now

Callie signing off

Xxx

Agggh! Lila's been such hard work lately. I
went back to my apartment on Monday night but now she keeps coming
round pestering me. She comes round asking to borrow something and
then ends up staying until the early hours. She doesn't have to get
up for work early so she thinks nothing of turning my music up loud
and helping herself to my wine stash. When I try and bring up the
subject of work she says that it's hard out there at the mo and
there are no jobs. I know it's hard; a friend of mine, Ella has
just lost her job at the council. She'd been there 7 years. She got
offered the job straight out of school and now she doesn't know
what else to do. I've tried to get Ella and Lila together so they
can hang out together and stop pestering me. Ella keeps asking me
to come round because she's bored. She knows I'm pretty much out on
the road a lot of the time but the last time I popped in for a
coffee it turned into two hours and my boss was started to get
suspicious.

I think I might ask my boss if I can do an
article on job hunting but he will probably say it's too boring or
something.

I can't wait for my date with David tonight.
I've put on a little bit of weight since Lila came back (I know
she's only been back for a few days but I've had three times as
much alcohol than usual and I've eaten three kebabs) and so I can't
wear the skin tight dress I was originally going to wear. I think
I'm going to wear my long gypsy skirt and my strappy sequined top.
At least the skirt will cover the water retention going on in my
thighs and butt. I don't even know why I agreed to go out with him
really because he's so good looking he could have anyone, so why
does he want a frump like me? I mean, he could have had Lila (there
again her singing probably put him off - she looks beautiful until
she opens her mouth and all that) who's a size 8! and who inherited
the olive skin and dark looks from my dad's side of the family. But
he wanted me.  It always makes me nervous when men choose me
over my sister. I'm sure it will be ok as long as I remain calm and
let him do all the talking. I've heard men can't stand women who
talk on and on about themselves. I can't talk about my job either
because I've heard men don't like women talking about weird people
or weird stuff either. So what can we women talk about?

Anyway, I've decided to take some time off
next week and I've agreed to spend a few days in Edinburgh with
Ella for her birthday. I can't wait.  I've always wanted to
visit the castle. Anyway I'm going to go and get ready for my date
and I'll tell you all about it on Friday.

Callie signing off

xxx

I am so mortified. I don't even want to talk
about it - but I promised I would so here goes. I went on the date
with David and it was ok at first when we were bowling. I totally
thrashed him by the way (not with a whip or anything pervy - I
meant I beat him by so many points it would be cruel to make it
public) so to celebrate he told me he was going to take me for a
slap-up meal. Anyway, me not being one to turn down a free meal, I
agreed but that was when things got seriously weird.

We went to a gorgeous restaurant; very
upmarket - but then he can afford it because he's loaded. He's part
of the "Cheshire set" which means he basically hangs around with a
load of "horsey" people who like to go to garden parties and drink
champagne and stuff. Anyway, he did something I've only see people
do in movies and I was totally dumbstruck. for once. He told the
waiter he was going to order for me! I was too shocked to argue.
And then it got weirder because he started ordering me loads of
stuff. I mean, I know I'm quite a heavy-boned size 14 but come on!
I was only going to order myself a salad because I didn't want him
to think I was a little flabby because I ate too much (which is
probably the reason actually, that and lack of exercise).It was
even worse when he only ordered a salad - he said that if he rode
horses all day he had to stay as light as possible so he wouldn’t
squash the poor things

He just stared at me while I ate; it was so
embarrassing. He kept saying things like "Oh, I love to see a woman
enjoying her food" and "Is that nice, babe?" Uggh, he was such a
freak. It got even worse when I couldn't eat my pudding because I
was too full. He picked up my spoon and started trying to put some
in my mouth. "Go on, just one mouthful," he said and I felt like I
was eight years old again, at my nan's house while she shoved food
in my mouth. "You need building up!" she'd scream as I kicked and
hit out at her, trying to save myself. Let's just say it brought
back a lot of bad memories and wasn't normal.

I can't even get a boyfriend who isn't a
weirdo. What's wrong with me? Needless to say I didn't agree to see
him again, even though he practically begged me. I told Erin about
it and she said he was probably a feeder. I'd never heard of it.
The only feeder I'd heard of was the rock band (one of my faves, by
the way.) "What's a feeder?" I asked and she said it was a man (or
woman but that's a bit rarer) who likes their partners to be so fat
that they can't even move. She said in the worst cases that the men
just keep feeding and feeding their partner until she almost
bursts. I vowed to do some research on it because a) I'd never
heard of it and b) maybe I could interview David for my column.
Maybe women need to be warned about men like this. Weird really how
most women would probably love someone giving them lots of yummy
food. The only way I could have a relationship with a feeder is if
I could exercise to burn all the calories off. That way I'd never
have to cook again - perfect!

I'm going to have to go now. I've got to pack
my case to go to Edinburgh. Can't wait. I'll be updating you with
my adventures next week. Until then have a great weekend,

Callie signing off

xxx

I have been so busy today guys that's why
it's taken me so long to finally get this blog post done.

I have been to Edinburgh castle with Ella
today. It was great. So spooky too. I took a photo with my mobile
phone and I swear it's a ghost. If you look near the candle you can
see a skeleton face - seriously creepy. Get's me in the mood for
Halloween. Ella has been so annoying though. She keeps going on and
on about how she's single and she's getting old (she's only 23) and
how boys don't like her; well, about how most people and cats don't
like her too (they always arch their backs and spit at her - weird
I know). I kept trying to tell her that if she didn't go on so much
about how unlovable she was then maybe somebody would actually
start to like her. At one point I thought about throwing myself off
one of the castle walls but luckily the feeling passed.

We went into Princess Street too and I got
myself a gorgeous new coat from one of the boutiques. I can't wait
to wear it on Halloween; it's long, black and military - very
"Twilight".

Tomorrow we're going to visit the coffee shop
where J K Rowling wrote Harry Potter. I'm hoping I might get some
inspiration. Oh, yeah and I almost forgot - my mum phoned and told
me that Lila actually has a job interview on Thursday. I don't know
how she managed it with so many other people (who actually want to
work) out of work. Seems she thinks she can be a dispenser at the
local opticians. Well, we'll have to wait and see (pardon the pun).
I'm going to sign off now. Check out the photo - cool eh?

Hi Guys

As I write this I am totally exhausted after
spending all day traipsing around Edinburgh with someone who is
about to become an ex-friend. "Can't we just go in here?"..."It'll
only take a minute..." "Cheer up it might never happen..." are just
some of Ella's favourite phrases and I have heard them all too many
times in the past couple of days. Agghhh! We didn't speak for two
hours today (which I was grateful for, but she, not being one to
keep quiet for long, was the first to apologize)

When I think about it, though, it was
probably my fault. Here's how it happened.

After hearing, "Cheer up it might never
happen" for the umpteenth time I yelled, "But it has happened! I'm
stuck here all week with you and it's driving me crazy! I don't
know why I agreed to spend a week with someone who totally does my
head in!" I know it was uncalled for but the weather has suddenly
turned freezing cold and because it was so sunny last weekend I was
totally unprepared; I hate the cold. I don't like feeling like the
Michelin man (For those of you unfamiliar with this character I'm
sure you'll find him on YouTube - he's a big fluffy, white thing
used to advertise tyres) in layers of t-shirts, jumpers and padded
coats. I need to feel free. Especially when I'm driving. I hate
wearing coats to drive; the seat belt seems so much tighter than
usual and it increases my road-rage levels.

You have probably guessed by now that I am
quite irritable and I'm sure you would be too if you had to spend
even five minutes with Ella. My other friend, Erin can also be
annoying. I think I will stay away from people whose names begin
with E for a while (no offence if yours does, lol).