Calling Me Home (3 page)

I couldn’t believe I’d spent two decades fucking around being friends, letting guys like Richard have a shot with her. I could have been making her happy; I could have had hours buried in her. I needed to make up for all that wasted time.

“We’re not friends, Ashleigh; do you know that? Not anymore. We’re more than that. You’re mine. Every part of you. The sooner you get used to that, the better.” I sank deeper into her, pulling out and sharply pushing back in.

“Oh God.” Her lips parted, and she looked straight at me as she spasmed around me. I watched her orgasm pass through every atom of her. I loved the sounds she made as she came, the heavy breaths, the gasps, the half words. I needed to memorize each one of them. Nothing had ever sounded so sexy.

I wanted to tell her there would never be anyone else. She was my future, my forever. She was exactly what I’d been looking for, but never known I was searching for. But I held back, concerned she would feel it was too soon, that she’d think it was a reaction to my break up with Emma. I knew this had nothing to do with anything other than what I felt for Ashleigh. With Emma, I’d cherished our independence from each other. With Ashleigh, I never wanted to be without her, not for a second. I’d never realized I could feel that way. Ashleigh had awoken it in me.

Love had been hiding in plain sight all along.

Ashleigh

I slumped forward, wrapping my arms around Luke, the afterglow of my orgasm fluttering away down my limbs.

Luke’s thrusting became shallower. I could tell he was holding himself back, allowing me to recover before chasing his own release.

“Take me to bed,” I whispered into his ear. It was so good to have him here. How had I thought I was going to get through an evening without him?

Still inside me, he walked us into my bedroom as I pressed my lips to his neck, biting across his skin and along his jaw. “You’re so sexy.” He twitched and I twisted my hips, wanting to feel it again.

He groaned. “Jesus, you’re going to kill me.” He laid me on my back on the bed, and I pushed his hair away from his face.

“We wouldn’t want that. Why don’t you let me take some of the burden?”

“Oh, believe me, baby, fucking you will never be anything but my complete pleasure.”

I shifted underneath him, and he rolled us over, leaving me on top as I’d wanted. I pushed against his body, savoring the feel of his hard chest beneath my hands. Sitting astride him, I moaned as he plunged deeper into me. I closed my eyes, briefly savoring him so deep. When I opened my eyes, he was staring back at me, watching me enjoy him. No man I’d ever been with had so clearly put my pleasure before his, had been so turned on by what he could do to me. “You feel so, so good,” I whispered, gently moving my hips up and then pulling him into me again. “So deep, so hard. I’m so full.”

He grunted and thrust his hips off the bed as if he couldn’t hold back. We found a rhythm, and my body started to wind and tighten with pleasure.

He reached for my breasts, cupping each one, smoothing his fingers along the underside and brushing his thumbs over my nipples. I took one of his hands and guided him lower.

The scrape of his skin across my clit interrupted my rhythm, and I stopped to bask in the sensation. He withdrew his hand. I twisted my hips in protest and began to rock over him. His hand found my clit again, but I stilled as I let myself savour his skin on mine. As soon as I paused, his fingers did too. It was as if he was rewarding me with his touch. I recommenced my movements, squeezing him as I dragged myself up and off, then plunging back down. It was as if I had to earn his fingers. I was prepared to do whatever it took.

I had to concentrate as his thumb rounded my clit, notching the heat travelling through my body up a level.

“Baby, you’re so wet.”

“Because of you. It’s all for you.”

He groaned and removed his hands from where they were eliciting pure sensation from my body. He gripped my waist, pushing his thumbs into the sensitive flesh under my hips, rocking himself up, meeting my movements. I clasped my hands over his as we crashed against each other again and again, each movement bringing my climax closer and closer.

The moonlight flickered through the curtains, catching on the sheen of sweat that had formed a film across Luke’s beautiful face.

“When you look at my like that, I can’t hold back, baby,” he said.

“Don’t. Take what you need.”

His jaw tightened, and his fingertips pressed harder into my skin as he pushed deeper and faster into me. I gave up control and held myself above him as he pounded into me. It took only a few seconds for another orgasm—just as intense as the last one—to wash over me, pulsing across my skin and surging deep into my very core. My climax allowed Luke to let go, and after three sharp thrusts, he poured himself into me. The muscles in his jaw finally loosened, and I ran my knuckles along the bristles of his five o’clock shadow, just to check.

He pulled me down and trailed his fingers along the side of my body, making me shiver. He kept his legs wrapped around me, and he was still inside me. It was as if he wanted to tell me something, share something important, but couldn’t quite form the words.

I loved him. I’d always known I had, but had never allowed myself to give in to it so completely. But with him in my bed, my body so entirely owned by him, I had no defenses left. Now, he was all I felt. He’d cracked me open and my love for him had just poured out. I was coated in it, and I could never be closed back up.

After less than a day of being together, I couldn’t bear to give him up, even for one evening.

If he ever left me, I would be broken.

The thought was terrifying. He had the power to destroy me.

We dragged ourselves out of bed the following morning, our fitful sleep punctuated by each other’s lips, hands and more than one orgasm. As soon as I hit the cold, crisp air of November in London, I felt anything but heavy. I floated to work, a grin tattooed on my face that I had to concentrate to make smaller so I didn’t invite questions.

Halfway through the day, I was called to reception to find an enormous arrangement of peonies and amongst them a handwritten card.

They don’t smell as beautiful as you. Luke

I didn’t know if the flowers were a conscious sign that he understood I needed his reassurance, but the effect was the same. I didn’t want us to fast-forward to complacency. There was a side of me that needed to be wooed by him, needed be sure that this was about me and not just about having someone.

How was it possible to miss someone you’d known your whole life, and had left just hours earlier? I felt his absence physically, as if a part of me were missing when he wasn’t with me.

I texted him. Thank you for the flowers. I’m looking forward to tonight.

I got a reply straight away. I miss you. I can’t wait to see you.

My skin hummed and my grin spread.

“Someone’s a lucky man.” I glanced up to find Richard looking between me and the flowers. My face fell.

“I . . .” How did I respond to that?

He rested his hand on my shoulder. “I mean it. He’s a lucky guy. You don’t need to explain.”

I exhaled. “I’m sorry,” I said. I couldn’t offer any platitudes. Couldn’t say it wasn’t serious. I was as serious about Luke as I’d ever been about anything.

“Don’t be. You’re amazing. Of course you have suitors left and right. I’m surprised I was allowed to be one of them, even if it was for a short time.”

My heart ached at his words. He was such a generous man, and in so many ways it would have been so much easier if I could have fallen for him.

“Well, I happen to know that you have them queueing around the block. And rightly so,” I said.

He brushed a strand of my hair away from my face and smiled, but didn’t reply. My phone buzzing in my pocket interrupted the moment. “I’ll see you around,” he said, and then he was gone.

“Hi, Haven,” I answered. It was unusual for her to call in the middle of the day. My mind flicked to her growing bump. I hoped nothing was wrong.

“I’m sorting out Christmas. We need a plan. You’re not going to Hong Kong?”

She was right; I wasn’t going to see my parents. There was little chance I’d get enough time off work to fly out there, and anyway, last time I’d been my mother spent the whole time accusing my dad of cheating on her. He’d denied it, but they’d done nothing but row. It had been exhausting and anything but merry. “Nope.”

“So I thought it would be easier to eat out rather than do it all ourselves. I found a great place in Mayfair. I’ve booked us in for dinner tonight to test it out.”

“I can’t go tonight. Can’t you take Jake?”

“No, he has some investor thing, and anyway, I want to go with you.”

“Well, I’m busy.” I raced through the possible lies I could tell her that might satisfy her that I couldn’t cancel when she asked me the inevitable.

“Why can’t you come?”

“I have a thing.” Could I get away with being vague? I didn’t want to lie to her.

“A thing? What sort of thing? What’s going on?”

“Nothing, just a business school thing. Like a mixer.” I cringed as I spoke.

“Before you’ve even got in? That’s a bit cruel if you don’t get accepted, isn’t it? They’re dangling what might have been in front of you.”

My stomach churned, but I just wasn’t ready to hear what she had to say about Luke and me. I wanted to be on more solid footing before we told her, before we told anyone. Haven’s opinion mattered to both of us, and if she wasn’t going to offer her blessing, I needed to feel comfortable enough with Luke and me to give her time to change her mind—to win her over. Of course, what I really wanted to do was separate the part of her that was Luke’s sister and tell my best friend that I’d found the love of my life. As much as I was afraid I couldn’t handle her disapproval, I still wanted to share my excitement. I knew that the best friend bit of Haven would be nothing but delighted that Luke and I had found a way to be together.

“I don’t know. I just have to go.”

“Suit yourself. Go meet with new, fun, interesting, childless people. I don’t care.” Haven’s tone was melodramatic, and I couldn’t help but laugh.

“I can go tomorrow night. How about that?” As I was saying the words, I realized that it obviously meant that I couldn’t see Luke if I was out with Haven, and although I didn’t want us to be too much too soon, I wasn’t sure how I would handle a whole day without seeing him.

“Okay, I’ll rebook. Jake might make tomorrow. Shall I ask Luke and Beth?”

“I don’t mind.” I tried to sound casual, but I was conflicted. I would get to see Luke, but Beth was one of the most perceptive people I knew. I wasn’t sure Luke and I wouldn’t give away where we were in our relationship. I was having a hard enough time hiding it at work.

“But you’re okay with Luke? It seemed fine yesterday. He was less grumpy than he’s been in a while.” I could tell she was about to ask for a status update about whether or not I was ready to pursue things with Luke, which I didn’t want to get into. Still, I couldn’t help but grin at the thought she’d noticed his mood had improved yesterday.

“Yeah, everything’s good. Invite him. Seeing him and Beth is always great.”

“We haven’t talked about it for a while. He seems to be over the Emma thing. You know, what with participating in the triathlon and things. Do you think that maybe you’re ready to explore things with him?”

Apparently, Haven wasn’t easily dissuaded from asking me difficult questions. I thought I’d gotten away with it. I should have known better. It would have been the perfect moment to tell her that I was more than ready. But my need to be on more solid ground with Luke stopped me. I just didn’t want to create expectations in anyone, myself included. I needed time. “Haven.”

“Okay, I’ll invite them then. Are you expecting to hear about whether or not you got in to business school today? Maybe they’ll announce it at the mixer. Oh my God, that’s why you’re invited. They’re going to tell you that you got in. This is so exciting. Tomorrow can be a celebration. Oh, this is amazing—”

“I’m going to have to get back to work, Haven.” Her excitement, her every word, increased my guilt. I was lying to my best friend about what I was doing tonight—about Luke and me. I never lied to Haven. She was my family. I just couldn’t tell her, not yet.