Callum & Harper (12 page)

“
Harper, that is awful.”

“
I know,” I said laughing, trying to avoid the sob threatening to leak from my throat.

Callum, sensing how tense I was, hugged me closer.
    “Where did you go after that, Harper?” He asked.
    “An alcoholic’s but, to be honest, it felt like a reprieve. They were winos, their floor was littered with corks. I lived in a literal sea of corks but I didn’t mind it so much. They were cool as long as you left them alone and whatever trouble you got into didn’t directly affect them.
    “I stayed there for at least a year, but social services paid a surprise visit to them and they hadn’t cleaned up yet. So...” I shrugged as if that was explanation enough.
    “And you were forced out?”
    “Yup.”
    “Then where’d you go?”
    “To the last foster home I’d ever have to endure again,” I said.
    “Was it as awful?”
    “Depends on your definition of awful,” I offered. “Was it as bad as John Bell? No. As laid back as the winos? Nope. It was somewhere in between. They weren’t physically abusive or anything but they would scream at one another every night over money and I was sort of endured because I provided a steady stream of the very cash from the state they’d yell about.”
    “And when you turned eighteen?”
    “See you later, alligator.”
   
   
Callum

I had it pretty bad growing up but Harper seems to have endured every awful situation a person could conjure up, short of rape and even that I think she narrowly escaped. I wanted only to wrap her in my arms and tell her that everything would be okay but that would have been a lie. I didn’t know if everything was going to be okay. I did know, however, that whatever we
did
go through that we were going to sustain it together, that I was quite certain of.

“
And then you met me,” I said.

“
And then I met you,” she said, smiling softly.

I studied her closely before turning off the lamp next to me. The moonlight fell across her gold strands, looking for all the world like copper threads. I half expected them to sing in clinking charms every time her head moved. I hugged her closely to me, hoping to squeeze the bad memories from her life. I’d absorb them from her, if I could. Just take them and endure the obvious ache they caused her.

    “
When my folks died,” I confessed, “I remembered feeling sadness, an overwhelming sadness, but I was too young to realize what it meant. I have memories of visiting a cold, unwelcoming room where they would force me to draw pictures of how I supposedly felt. They’d ask me if I remembered my mom and dad, and even then I thought they were stupid for asking such an obvious question.

“
I wondered why I left my home, wondered when my mom and dad would come and pick me up. I would often tell my foster mother that I was ready to call my parents to have them pick me up but she would just smile and settle me on her hip, never really giving me the answer I was looking for.”

Harper thread her fingers with mine, burrowing her shoulder deeper into mine.
    “When I was slightly older and had almost completely forgotten about my parents,” I continued, “I began school and quickly noticed that my life was very different from my classmates. Many of them would talk about their families and I just couldn’t help but fear that I didn’t share their fates.
    “I went home my first day of first grade and asked my foster mom if she was mine. She gave me a round-a-bout answer and that’s the day I knew I was different. That was the day I knew I belonged to no one and steeled myself for a difficult life. I don’t know how I knew, but at six, I had already figured it out.
    “I was a pretty good kid, school became my life because I had nothing else. I made it my life’s goal to be worth something to myself as I was the only one interested enough to care. I, too, was thrown from family to family for one reason or another. I tumbled about New York City never really forming friendships for fear they’d just disappoint me further than I already was. I was afraid that a loss like that would be the bitter pill that would kill the little spirit I had left.
    “I trusted no one, until the age of fourteen, when a boy introduced himself to me as Alan Moss. He was cool and non-judgemental. I started hanging with him a lot.
    “By the time we were fifteen, Alan and I had become best friends. I didn’t allow myself to get very close to the guy, like I said, I never allowed that void to be filled until Charlie and Cherry but, I admit, Alan was a really good friend and I was as loyal to him as I possibly could be.
    “By our sophomore year though, Alan became distant. We hadn’t talked for weeks but out of the blue he called me and invites me to this party, letting me know that Keiko was going to be there. This was after our kiss in eighth grade, of course, but I still liked the hell out of her. So, I told him I’d be there. I met up with him that night but the party was not what I thought it was. People laid about like idiots, laughing at the most ridiculous things and I knew they were high as kites.

“
Alan came bounding up to me, acting so different. He teased me incessantly until I agreed to try the small purple pill he held out to me in a tiny plastic bag.” I sighed audibly. “I stupidly swallowed the pill.

    “
After that, Alan and I got high every weekend for two months. We both became addicted but I believe Alan was even more so than I. The first week we decided to ditch class to get high, I knew I needed to stop and I did. Cold turkey. And it wasn’t as hard as I thought it would be but Alan...Alan couldn’t do it. He started ignoring me once again, ditching class, then school altogether.
    “Several weeks later, I got a frantic call from him. He’d been to his dealer’s house to get more stuff but ran out of money and the guy was essentially holding him hostage for the rest of his money. Alan begged me to bring him some cash. I agreed but on the condition that he agreed to seek help, immediately.
    “When I showed up, they’d already beat the living hell out of the guy. I refused to hand the dealer the cash personally and made Alan come get it from me. When he returned from paying his dealer off, I practically had to drag him home. Alan refused to go in and I knew that if I didn’t stay with him that the guy was going to kill himself. I brought him to my foster parents and snuck him into my room, stupidly thinking he hadn’t taken any drugs at the dealer’s house, that he needed the money so desperately to pay off old debts.
    “But I was wrong. I’d fallen asleep after babysitting him for a few hours. I woke up early, around five or so, to a sleeping Alan, or at least I thought he was sleeping.
    “Oh, God. No,” Harper said, brining her hand to mouth.
    “I tried to shake him awake but he wouldn’t,” I choked out. “I beat the hell out of his chest, begging him to wake but he wouldn’t. My foster parents came into my room and tried to revive him but there was no use. He’d been dead for hours.
    “My foster parents refused to believe I wasn’t using as well and kicked me out. I ended up at my last foster home that week.”
    Harper unfolded her legs and faced me, sitting on her ankles. I face her as well, on the verge of losing my cool from the memory of my friend’s dead, lifeless face. She cupped her hands around my face and kissed each of my cheekbones, then each brow, brushing the hair back from my face and threading strands through her fingers, holding it in fists above my ears. I pull her closely to me, hugging her tightly. It was what we both needed in that moment.

I don’t believe two people have ever led lonelier lives than the lives Harper and I had led.

    “
I think I’ve been waiting my entire life for you, Harper Bailey.”
    “I think I have, too,” she whispered.
    I don’t remember falling asleep but I do remember feeling the best I’d ever felt in my entire life.
Chapter Six

The Knife
Callum

   
For the next two weeks, Harper and I worked our fingers to the bone day and night, saving every penny we earned, knowing Charlie would be returning and we’d eventually have to figure it out for ourselves. Oh yeah, it sort of also distracts me from having to deal with the growing attraction I was feeling for her.
    No matter what I did, I could
not
stop myself from falling for Harper Bailey.

Every day, like a vision, she struck me like a starting gun with a sweet smile and a generous nature. She always made me a toasted bagel with cream cheese in the morning. A few days into our friendship, I discovered she didn’t even like coffee, the little liar, so I bought her a box of tea, instead. You’d think I’d given her a diamond when she saw the damn box. She was so elated, she’d begun to cry.

She was the hardest working person I’d ever met. She was frugal yet generous. She was an enigma and funny to boot.

    “
Good morning, Harper Bailey,” I said toward the ceiling, still lounging on the couch despite the fact that the sun has almost risen completely, meaning we’d lost any chance for work at the docks. But that was okay because we had worked at The Bowery the night before for enough cash tips that we should be alright to skip one morning.

Harper and I had several jobs. At three thirty in the morning, we usually headed for the docks, earning about a hundred dollars a piece there. We’d leave there at six thirty and catch the train back to Charlie’s where we would sleep until ten thirty or so, then head to whatever restaurant would take us. We usually pocketed an additional two hundred there and headed home once more where we’d sleep from around four in the afternoon until seven, only to work The Bowery until three in the morning, where we help clean up then head straight for the docks. In all, we earn around five hundred dollars a day and caught around seven hours of sleep. It was rough but we planned on getting an apartment together which was going to be difficult as hell for me knowing how I was starting to feel about her but it was the only way.
    “Good morning, Callum Tate,” I heard her say. “We missed work this morning,” she said around a yawn.

I sighed. “I know. It’s alright, last night I think we earned three hundred altogether. We can afford to miss one morning.”

“
I hope you’re right,” she said. “Because Charlie comes home today and we haven’t looked at a single apartment yet.” She stood on the bed and looked down at me. “We better skip work altogether today and clean this place up, then search for our own place.”

I leaned up on my elbows. I felt a definite crease in my hair and was slightly embarrassed knowing it was more than likely laying at strange angles. I attempted to run my hand through it but judging by Harper’s amused expression, I’d only made things worse.

“
Okay,” I said, “let’s clean up, wash all the sheets and blankets and then count our loot before the apartment hunt.”
    It only took us a few hours to finish everything up, leaving the apartment cleaner than how we’d found it. While the last load of sheets were drying, I popped around the corner and bought a paper to circle a few options close to campus before trudging back up to Charlie’s apartment to get an idea of what we’d saved.

When I walked in the door, I noticed Harper on the phone.

“
Um, yes. Sure, sure. No, no, that’s okay. No, really, it’s alright.” She giggled politely. “Yup, alright. Bye.”

“
Oh, that was social services.” She cleared her throat. “I had my name put on a list, the day we met, for permanent housing.”

I felt supreme disappointment for a moment.

“
Oh,” I said. “Well, what did they say?”

“
No openings in the foreseeable future but I really only called to remove my name from the queue. You know, since
we’ll
be living together.”

Relief washed over me.

“
Oh,” I said as coolly as possible. “Shall we?” I asked, pointing at the paper in my hands.

“
Sure.”

“
Wait,” I said. “Maybe we should figure out what our budget will be before we start looking.”

“
Right, that only makes sense.”

We dumped our cash onto the floor and separated the bills by likeness. We had a few hundreds and twenties but the lower denominations dominated. I knew Charlie kept cash straps around his house because his bands usually paid in cash so I got up and rummaged through a few drawers before finding what I needed. In the end, we had five thousand seven hundred thirty-six dollars in bills and seventeen dollars in coins.

    “
I don’t think I’ve ever seen this much money in my entire life,” I said.
    “Well, we worked our freaking butts off for it,” Harper said. “What does it mean, though? We can’t rely on this kind of money when school starts, can we?”
    “No, I don’t think we can. I’d say the most we could rely on would be...” I said, as I did a mental calculation in my head... “probably fifty a day, before taxes.”