Calming the Rush of Panic (4 page)

Let’s look at other predictable challenges that will arise when you practice mindfulness. When you begin to meditate, you’ll soon notice how frequently your mind wanders or is consumed with wanting, avoiding, restlessness, sleepiness, or doubt.

WANDERING MIND

One of the first insights you’ll experience when you first begin a formal practice of mindfulness is how busy your mind is and how much it wanders. Rest assured that it’s always been that way—you’ve just never been very mindful of its activity. Although you may think that an inability to focus means you’re no good at meditating, most everyone’s mind inevitably wanders during meditation. It can even be helpful to notice your mind’s activity when it becomes distracted. You may discover that your thoughts and emotions are often preoccupied with either rehearsing the future or rehashing the past. This insight into the workings of your mind will give you important information. You may realize, for example, that you need to deal with an unresolved relationship or other unfinished business.

In dealing with your wandering mind, you’ll begin to understand more about your mind-body connection. When you come back to the present moment after wandering off with various worries, you may notice that your jaw is clenched or your stomach is in knots. You’ll begin to realize that these physical tensions are connected to your thoughts and emotions.

Another use for the wandering mind is concentration training. The way to build and sustain concentration is to repeatedly bring your mind back to the present after it has wandered off. Just like lifting weights again and again to grow muscle, when you bring your mind back again and again to your breathing or whatever you’re meditating on, you increase your capacity for attention.

As your practice of mindfulness deepens, you’ll understand that (a) the only changes you can ever make are in the here and now and (b) the moment you realize you’re not present, you are in fact present. This is “where the rubber meets the road,” starting in this moment.

WANTING OR AVOIDING

In addition to your mind’s wanderings, you’ll also be swept away at times with wanting things that make you feel good or trying to avoid things that don’t. Wanting and avoiding are opposite sides of the same coin, because both are concerned with a state of feeling good. The antidote is to know when it’s happening—when you’re getting tangled up in a state of wanting or avoiding. This knowing helps you see where you are, and then and only then can you begin to untangle yourself.

RESTLESSNESS OR SLEEPINESS

Restlessness and sleepiness are also opposite sides of the same coin, because at the heart of each is a desire to escape the present moment. Restlessness is like a pacing tiger that cannot be in his or her own skin, and sleepiness is filled with sloth and torpor and not being able to stay awake. Both of these challenges can keep you from being present to the workings of your body and mind with the desire to either get away from the discomfort or go to sleep and not be present. Once again, the antidote is your knowing mind. Once you
know
that you’re restless or sleepy, you can begin to choose how you’re going to respond to it. Restlessness is unharnessed energy that, when accessed, can be of great support to you. With sleepiness, you may want to intensify your practice in order to bring more wakefulness. You may need to open your eyes, change your posture, and splash a few drops of cold water on your face, particularly if you’re often falling asleep or numbing out. If all else fails, sleep and be happy, and when you wake up, begin your practice again.

DOUBT

The last challenge is being filled with doubt. You may think,
This meditation is not going to help me. What’s the use? I’m never going to diminish my panicky feelings and feel better
. The antidote for doubt is
awareness
, similar to the other hindrances. When you
know
that you’re experiencing doubt, you can begin to deal with it. Doubt is something to be acknowledged just like any other feeling, and in time you’ll see that it’s just a passing mind state like any other. This understanding will give you more confidence in your practice.

You will of course encounter other challenges when meditating, and you’ll need to bring your knowing awareness to acknowledge whatever’s there. We want to invite you to expand your perception and be open to something new.

Establishing an Informal Practice of Mindfulness: Mindfulness in Daily Activities

As previously mentioned, mindfulness is a way of life that can be practiced both formally and informally. We want to invite you to begin incorporating mindfulness into your daily activities as a way of decreasing panic.

Bringing mindfulness into your life is very important in dealing with panic. As with formally practicing mindfulness, you can do this every day. Daily mindfulness brings awareness into your body, emotions, and thoughts in the varied experiences of everyday living. You can bring mindfulness to chores, work, walking, driving, brushing your teeth, folding laundry, waiting in line, sitting in the doctor’s office, your interpersonal relationships, and all aspects of life. The only moment you ever really live in and the only place you can ever make any changes is right here and now, so why not be mindful of this moment?

To begin an informal practice of mindfulness, you can start with any of the suggestions below. The more you do them, the more they’ll become integrated into your life. Accomplish at least one task each day mindfully. In other words, while you’re doing something, just be doing that one thing, fully present and attentive to what you’re doing. There’s no need to be a perfectionist here—it won’t be possible to be mindful of all of these activities all the time—but slowly you can do more activities mindfully. Remember, the moment you realize you aren’t present, you are. It’s that close and yet that far. Let there be a spirit of levity, kindness, and self-compassion with this practice of mindfulness—this is why it’s called a practice. Don’t feel as if you have to “get it right” every time.

• When you wake up, take a mindful breath and then notice and acknowledge how you’re feeling in your body and mind.
  
• While getting dressed, be mindful of the clothes you’re selecting for the day. Notice how they feel when you put them on.
  
• While brushing your teeth, just be brushing your teeth.
  
• While preparing and eating breakfast, be mindful of the preparation and how the food tastes.
  
• While washing the dishes, just be washing the dishes.
  
• While folding the laundry, be mindful of the folding and how it’s feeling.
  
• While walking, just be walking. Notice each step.
  
• While driving to work, drive the speed limit, turn off the radio, and be aware of driving your car. Notice the way your body feels while driving,
  
• At work, be mindful of your work duties and your interactions with others.
  
• At least once a week, eat a meal in silence, without distractions— radio, TV, newspaper, and so on—using the time to just experience eating.
  
• Choose a commonplace sight, sound, or occurrence—such as a red light, waiting in line, the phone ringing, or the sound of office machines warming up—as a cue for you to re-center and come back to yourself for a few mindful breaths (see “Foundational Practice: Mindful Breathing” in chapter 1).
  
• Be mindful of errands and interactions you have with others while you’re out.
  
• Be mindful while you’re on the phone, using e-mail, or text messaging.
  
• Be mindful of how you communicate with your family, friends, acquaintances, and even strangers.
  
• Be mindful of your evening activities, such as eating, reading, watching TV, and interacting with your family.
  
• As you head to bed, be mindful of your various bedtime activities: brushing your teeth, changing your clothes, and climbing into bed and lying down.
  
• Before you go to sleep, check in with how you’re feeling physically, mentally, and emotionally, and let it all be. Take a few mindful breaths and let yourself open to deeper compassion and ease of your body and mind, and go into a deep, restful sleep.
  

These are just a few ways you can informally practice mindfulness. Feel free to bring more and more mindfulness into whatever you do. Remember: wherever you go, here you are. A practice of bringing your awareness into the here and now will help you stay centered and reduce moments of panic.

chapter 1

Calming the Rush of Panic in Your Body

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our body, emotions, and thoughts all play a role in panic. Learning how to work with them can help you stay centered and calm. In this chapter we look at ways that you can reduce the panic in your body. We will introduce you to two mindfulness meditations that focus on the body. The first is mindful breathing, and the second is the body scan. For each meditation, we provide a script you can follow, as well as a URL so you can download an audio track to guide you. Then we discuss the mindful practice called S.T.O.P. Finally we offer some practical applications of mindfulness for you to try, to help you feel more confident and comfortable in your own skin.

So that you feel safe, before you begin we’d like to offer some gentle suggestions regarding all of the meditations and other practices in this book: Please tread lightly. The meditations, informal practices, and applied practices are meant not to create more panic or pressure in your life but as a way to help you practice engaging with panic in safe and relatively comfortable surroundings. Know that you can stop at any time. Please take care of yourself in the best way you need to. Remember: easy does it; one step at a time. Slowly and gradually you can learn to live with more ease.

Mindful Breathing

Mindful breathing is part of the foundation of MBSR and often our first recommendation to anyone living with the challenges of panic. It involves diaphragmatic or abdominal breathing, also known as belly breathing, which is very helpful in calming the body because it’s the way that you naturally breathe when asleep or relaxed.

Take a moment right now to be mindful of your breath. Gently place your hands on your belly. Breathe normally and naturally. When you breathe in, simply be aware that you’re breathing in; when you breathe out, be aware that you’re breathing out. Feel your belly rise and fall with your breath. Now take two more mindful breaths and then continue reading.

The reason diaphragmatic or abdominal breathing is considered an “anti-panic/anxiety” breath is that it helps regulate irregular breathing patterns fairly quickly. Often when you feel panicked, your breathing will become rapid, irregular, and shallow. You’ll tend to breathe mostly in your chest and neck. When you shift to diaphragmatic breathing, this will help regulate the breath so you can begin to feel more balanced and relaxed.

Foundational Practice: Mindful Breathing

Find a quiet place where you can be undisturbed. Turn off your phone and any other devices that might take you away from this special time that you’re giving yourself. Assume a posture in which you can be comfortable and alert, whether sitting in a chair or on a cushion or lying down.

You can learn mindful breathing by reading the script below, pausing briefly after each paragraph. Aim for a total time of at least five minutes. You’re welcome to download a (fifteen-minute) recording from New Harbinger Publications at newharbinger.com/25264.

Take a few moments to congratulate yourself that you are taking some time for meditation.

Now bring awareness to the breath in the abdomen or belly, breathing normally and naturally. As you breathe in, be aware of breathing in; as you breathe out, be aware of breathing out. If it is helpful, place your hands on your belly to feel it expand with each inhalation and contract with each exhalation. Simply maintaining this awareness of the breath, breathing in and breathing out. If you are unable to feel the breath in your belly, find some other way—place your hands on your chest, or feel the movement of air in and out of your nostrils.

There’s no need to visualize, count, or figure out the breath. Just being mindful of breathing in and out. Without judgment, just watching, feeling, experiencing the breath as it ebbs and flows. There’s no place to go and nothing else to do. Just being in the here and now, mindful of your breathing, living life one inhalation and one exhalation at a time.

As you breathe in, feel the abdomen or belly expand or rise like a balloon inflating, then feel it receding or deflating or falling on the exhalation. Just riding the waves of the breath, moment by moment, breathing in and out.

From time to time, you may notice that your attention has wandered from the breath. When you notice this, just acknowledge that your mind wandered and acknowledge where it went, and then bring your attention gently back to the breath.

Remember, there is no other place to go, nothing else you need to do, and no one you have to be right now. Just breathing in and breathing out.

Breathing normally and naturally, without manipulating the breath in any way, just being aware of the breath as it comes and goes.