His face was grim. "I'm glad you didn't have to make the decision.
I'm
afraid that I left you vulnerable."
"You can't blame yourself for the way I feel, my hang ups and
insecurities."
"All the same...."
They arrived at The Grille, and after being shown to a table,
ordered
martinis. They continued exploring their relationship as candidly as
they could considering how confusing it all was for them.
"This is difficult to say, Suzanna, but I'm not going to lie to you,
not even to save your feelings. You've said you think you're falling
in
love me. I'm not at all sure that you are.
"And so far, I don't know what I feel about you. I'm enormously
attracted to you, that goes without saying. Unlike you, I've had sex
many times, but I've never felt that I loved anyone. Never told a
woman
that I loved her, so I guess I've never really made love."
"Oh?"
He nodded. "They were all short-term relationships. I've never even
come close to being engaged, let alone married. And yes, sex without
love is pretty good, but I've always felt that with it, it would be
heaven on earth.
"So while I'm confused and cautious, I also know that what we have
together isn't like anything I've ever experienced before. So I am
not
saying no, I just think we just have to take this slowly." He
reached
for her hand across the table. "I would hate for us to ruin what we
do
have, our friendship and our working relationship, because we can't
help giving in to physical temptation."
She nodded and smiled. "I appreciate your honesty. I don't think I
want
to be on the wrong side of a one-way love affair. If it turned out
that
the love was all on my side and for you it was just sex game, I
don't
think I could bear it.
"As long as you don't touch me, I can maintain perfect control. If
you
ever do make love to me, I know I'll be hooked forever. One kiss
from
you, and I want it all."
He blew out a shaky breath and gave a tight smile. "I promise you,
Suzanna, if the time comes when I can no longer hold out against
you,
it'll be because I know I've fallen in love with you. If that
happens,
we'll both know it."
She returned the pressure of his fingers, then reached for her water
glass. "And as part of our total honesty drive, I am going to tell
Jerry it is all over between us. I know he likes me more than he
should, though he's never tried to show it. It isn't fair keeping
him
around as a handy male friend. I used to think he and Elsa would
make a
good team, but she seems to have eyes only for Barry Jarvis."
Quentin stared. "Elsa and Barry Jarvis? When did all this happen?"
"At the dinner party at my apartment. You may remember he saw her
home
afterwards, and they're having their first date this weekend."
"I'm delighted to hear it. I was afraid he might have his eye on
you,
especially after he took you to lunch that day, then invited himself
to
your apartment for dinner."
She laughed. "According to Elsa, Barry seems to think you have
designs
on me."
Quentin looked thoughtful. "Wouldn't it be funny if he turns out to
be
right? He doesn't even know me very well."
"This is none of my business, but since we seem to be ignoring the
obvious, have you ever lived with anyone?"
"No, never. That would mean a commitment of sorts, and I was never
ready to commit. I've had offers, but always said no. I've never
even
had a woman in my apartment because I didn't want to give up my
privacy. I've gone to their apartments or I've gone to hotels.
"Mostly, that was when I was in my twenties. For the last few years,
I've been very selective. Believe it or not, easy sex without love
palls after a while, unless a man is a permanent adolescent. I'm not
on
the prowl night and day, believe me."
"I'm glad you asked me out tonight. I think I understand you better
now. I don't think you use people. You've kept your integrity as
intact
as I've kept my body, but for a different reason."
She met his gaze head on, and said, "Much as I hate to admit it,
you've
been right all along. What I've felt for you has been physical
attraction. Since I've never felt it before, I naturally mistook it
for
love. Up until now, I haven't really known you well enough to be in
love with you. I'm sorry I've given you such a hard time, but I
think
now we can start to be real friends. "
"It took a lot of intestinal fortitude to say that, Suzanna. One
thing
you never lacked, though, is guts. Tonight we've begun a normal
relationship. If what we feel for one another is real, when the time
comes, we'll both know it. "
"I think Jerry thought he fell in love with me, but it was really
the
idea of me, and the fact that I was inaccessible made me more
desirable. The old forbidden fruit syndrome. If he had really been
interested in me, his body would have betrayed him. It didn't," said
Suzanna as she felt herself redden. "But yours does. And did even
before you saw the real me."
"Right then, we cut him loose. I am jealous, however much I pretend
that I'm not."
"I believe I may have to give another dinner party. This time I'll
invite Sharon. She's beautiful, intelligent, has a fantastic
personality and she doesn't sleep around. Wouldn't you agree?"
"I guess you've learned more about her than I have. I've never
noticed
her except as a neat, efficient secretary."
"If she had anyone special, I think she would have told me."
"Quite the little matchmaker, aren't we?" he said with a grin.
"It's nice to have someone special. Nothing worse than being alone."
"I never thought about it before, but I guess you're right. This is
lovely. I can't remember the last time I shared dinner with a
friend."
They now turned their attention to the steaming hot plates the
waiter
put in front of them, two New York strip steaks with baked potatoes,
sour cream, French style green beans, and a Caesar salad.
It all rapidly disappeared, and was followed by cheesecake and
coffee.
They sat back sipping their liqueurs and smiled in a relaxed way.
Suzanna didn't even feel the need to touch him as before.
We're friends, she thought, and it's wonderful.
But all too soon, Quentin recalled that tomorrow was a working day.
He
picked up the tab and said, "Well, Suzanna, for a first date we've
covered quite a lot of ground. I think perhaps I can take you home
now
and leave you at your door with a warm handshake, or maybe a
friendly
kiss, without any emotional upheavals?"
Suzanna nodded her head in agreement. "I'm glad we cleared the air
before we have to go to the Bahamas together. It would have been
uncomfortable with the potentially explosive situation just
simmering
between us. When do we leave, by the way?"
"Next week, the day after Thanksgiving. It's a week earlier than
they'd
planned, but they feel they need every bit of the weeks leading up
until Christmas for promotion. So we need to have all the copy done
and
dusted, and then just the pictures to get slotted in before
everything
hits the presses. By the way, do you have any plans for
Thanksgiving?"
"I didn't have, but maybe that would be a good day to have Sharon,
Jerry, Elsa, Barry and you to dinner, that is if no one has any
family
plans. If they're all free, would you mind meeting Sharon on a
social
basis?"
"Not really. I think she probably suspects that there's something
going
on between us. Maybe more than there actually is, even."
"I doubt it, but in case you're right, she'll see that it's all
quite
innocent."
"For the moment," he said with a grin.
"For the moment," she agreed, taking his arm.
They caught a taxi after only about five minutes and were soon on
the
way up town. True to his word, Quentin left her at her apartment
door
with a warm handshake and a light kiss on the lips.
Suzy went to bed that night with her mind more at rest than it had
been
for some time. As she lay getting ready to fall off to sleep, she
planned her phone calls for the next day. She'd ask Sharon first,
and
if she was free, then she'd call Jerry, then Elsa. Elsa could call
Barry.
With that decided, she started to plan her Thanksgiving menu. She
fell
asleep trying to choose between plum pudding with hard sauce or
pumpkin
pie. In the end, she knew it would have to be both.
CHAPTER NINETEEN
The minute Suzanna arrived at the office the next morning, she asked
Sharon if she was doing anything for Thanksgiving. Sharon admitted
that
she had no plans. Suzanna said she was having a small dinner party,
and
asked her if she would come.
Sharon was delighted and agreed in an instant.
When she got into her office, she called Jerry and asked him to
Thanksgiving dinner with a few friends. He was delighted, and
accepted
straight away.
Her next call was to Elsa, who was equally delighted. She had made a
date with Barry for that day, so they now had a place to go for a
home-cooked meal. They had planned on a hotel, since neither of them
had any family in town.
"No hotels. It's much more fun with friends."
"And your cooking is better than any hotel, Suzy."
Everything was all set. Even if her plan to match up Sharon and
Jerry
didn't work out, it couldn't hurt anything, and it would give Jerry
a
chance to see the new man in Suzanna's life.
When she went in to Quentin's office to pick up some layouts, she
said,
"The dinner party for Thanksgiving is all arranged. It will be a
party
of six. Everyone's accepted. You haven't changed your mind, have
you?"
"What, and miss out on your great cooking? No way. You are going to
roast a turkey, aren't you?"
"But of course! Isn't that what Thanksgiving is for?" she joked.
"And being thankful."
"That goes without saying."
"I sure do have a lot to be thankful for. Have had ever since I
hired
you."
"The feeling is mutual."
"Well, except when I act like a tease," he joked.
"Don't start. We have too much work to do."
"You're so right. So come on in and let's go over the plans for
Imperial Foods. We need to batten everything down before we head to
the
Bahamas."
"Let me just get my things."
After a few more busy days at work, it was Thanksgiving Day. Suzanna
got up early that morning, tugged on some black sweats, and started
dinner. All her marketing had been done after work during the week,
and
she was as ready as she would ever be.
She had a fifteen-pound turkey ready for stuffing, and a loaf or
stale,
unsliced bread which she crumbled into a bowl. She had chopped the
onion and celery and cut up the parsley, and added poultry seasoning
and egg with enough water to bind it.
She was just about to fill the turkey cavity when the bell rang. She
turned on the intercom and was overjoyed to hear Quentin's voice.
"Are you the lady who advertised for kitchen help?" came his jocular
tones through the speaker.
"Yes, but you'll need to bring references and have a personal
interview. You'd better come on up."
She wasn't exactly dressed in her best, but it would have to do. He
had
said he wanted to see the real Suzy, after all. But she did have
enough
time to run a brush through her hair and slick on some lip gloss
before
the bell rang.
After Quentin had given her a friendly hug and kiss, he removed his
jacket, requested an apron, and asked what he could do to help.
"Since you know where everything is by now, suppose you set the
table?
You can use the same china I used before, except we'll need wine
glasses instead of beer steins. Use the orange candles in the top
drawer of the buffet, and there's an arrangement of 'mums on the
coffee
table in the living room. You can put those on the table. After
you've
finished that, you can do the rutabagas. They're hard to peel and
cut."
"Yes, Ma'am. Anything else?"
Suzanna thought about it.
"You can make Bloody Marys in that big pitcher on the bar and cut
some
celery thinly for swizzle sticks. Then we'll see."
Suzanna continued stuffing the turkey, peeled pearl onions, made
white
sauce, defrosted a couple of packages of frozen peas and peeled a
couple of pounds of potatoes and put them to soak in cold water with
some salt. She made a hard sauce with butter, confectioner's sugar
and
rum for the plum pudding.