Can You Keep a Secret? (10 page)

'I think I'll get a coffee,' I say. 'Does anyone want one?'

'You can't get a coffee,' says Artemis, giving me an odd look. 'Haven't you seen?'

'What?'

'They've taken the coffee machine away,' says Nick. 'While you were in with Paul.'

'Taken it away?' I look at him, puzzled. 'But why?'

'Dunno,' he says, walking off towards Paul's office. 'They just came and carted it away.'

'We're getting a new machine!' says Caroline, walking past with a bundle of proofs. 'That's what they were saying downstairs. A really nice one, with proper coffee. Ordered by Jack Harper, apparently.'

She moves off, and I stare after her.

Jack Harper ordered a new coffee machine?

'Emma!' Artemis is saying impatiently. 'Did you hear that? I want you to find the leaflet we did for the Tesco promotion two years ago. Sorry, Mummy,' she says into the phone. 'Just telling my assistant something.'

Her
assistant. God, it pisses me off when she says that.

But to be honest, I'm feeling a bit too dazed to get annoyed.

It's nothing to do with me, I tell myself firmly as I root around at the bottom of the filing cabinet. It's ridiculous to think I had anything to do with it. He was probably planning to order new coffee anyway. He was probably—

I stand up with a pile of files in my arms and nearly drop them all on the floor.

There he is.

Standing right in front of me.

'Hello again.' His eyes crinkle in a smile. 'How are you doing?'

'Er … good, thanks.' I swallow hard. 'I just heard about the coffee machine. Um … thanks.'

'No problem.'

'Now everyone!' Paul comes striding up behind him. 'Mr Harper is going to be sitting in on the department this morning.'

'Please.' Jack Harper smiles. 'Call me Jack.'

'Right you are.
Jack
is going to be sitting in this morning. He's going to observe what you do, find out how we operate as a team. Just behave normally, don't do anything special.' Paul's eyes alight on me and he gives me an ingratiating smile. 'Hi there, Emma! How are you doing? Everything OK?'

'Er, yes thanks, Paul,' I mutter. 'Everything's great.'

'Good! A happy staff, that's what we like. And, while I've got your attention,' he coughs a little selfconsciously, 'let me just remind you that our Corporate Family Day is coming up, a week on Saturday. A chance for us all to let our hair down, enjoy meeting each other's families, and have some fun!'

We all stare at him a bit blankly. Until this moment, Paul has always referred to this as the Corporate Fuckwit Day and said he'd rather have his balls torn off than bring any member of his family to it.

'Anyway, back to work, everyone! Jack, let me get you a chair.'

'Just ignore me,' says Jack Harper pleasantly, as he sits down in the corner. 'Behave normally.'

Behave normally. Right. Of course.

So that would be sit down, take my shoes off, check my emails, put some hand cream on, eat a few Smarties, read my horoscope on iVillage, read Connor's horoscope, write 'Emma Corrigan, Managing Director' several times in swirly letters on my notepad, add a border of flowers, send an email to Connor, wait a few minutes to see if he replies, take a swig of mineral water and then finally get round to finding the Tesco leaflet for Artemis.

I don't think so.

As I sit back down at my desk, my mind is working quickly. Create your own chances. Carve out your own opportunities. That's what Paul said.

And what is this if not an opportunity?

Jack Harper himself is sitting here, watching me work. The great Jack Harper. Boss of the entire corporation. Surely I can impress him
somehow
?

OK, perhaps I haven't got off to the most brilliant start with him. But maybe this is my chance to redeem myself! If I can just somehow show that I'm really bright and motivated …

As I sit, leafing through the file of promotional literature, I'm aware that I'm holding my head slightly higher than usual, as though I'm in a posture class. And as I glance around the office, everyone else seems to be in a posture class, too. Before Jack Harper arrived, Artemis was on the phone to her mum, but now she's put on her horn-rimmed glasses and is typing briskly, occasionally pausing to smile at what she's written in a 'what a genius I am' way. Nick was reading the sports section of the
Telegraph
, but now I can see him studying some documents with graphs in them, with a deep frown.

'Emma?' says Artemis in a falsely sweet voice. 'Have you found that leaflet I was asking you for? Not that there's
any
hurry—'

'Yes, I have!' I say. I push back my chair, stand up, and walk over to her desk. I'm trying to look as natural as possible. But God, this is like being on telly or something. My legs aren't working properly and my smile is pasted onto my face and I have a horrible conviction I might suddenly shout 'Pants!' or something.

'Here you are, Artemis,' I say, and carefully lay the leaflet on her desk.

'Bless you!' says Artemis. Her eyes meet mine brightly and I realize she's acting, too. She puts her hand on mine, and gives me a twinkly smile. 'I don't know what we'd do without you, Emma!'

'That's quite all right!' I say, matching her tone. 'Any time!'

Shit, I think as I walk back to my desk. I should have said something cleverer. I should have said, 'Teamwork is what keeps this operation together.'

OK, never mind. I can still impress him.

Trying to act as normally as possible I open a document and start to type as quickly and efficiently as I can, my back ramrod straight. I've never known the office this quiet. Everyone's tapping away, no-one's chatting. It's like being in an exam. My foot's itching, but I don't dare scratch it.

How on earth do people do those fly-on-the-wall documentaries? I feel completely exhausted, and it's only been about five minutes.

'It's very quiet in here,' says Jack Harper, sounding puzzled. 'Is it normally this quiet?'

'Er …' We all look around uncertainly at each other.

'Please, don't mind me. Talk away like you normally would. You must have office discussions.' He gives a friendly smile. 'When I worked in an office, we talked about everything under the sun. Politics, books … For instance, what have you all been reading recently?'

'Actually, I've been reading the new biography of Mao Tse Tung,' says Artemis at once. 'Fascinating stuff.'

'I'm in the middle of a history of fourteenth-century Europe,' says Nick.

'I'm just re-reading Proust,' says Caroline, with a modest shrug. 'In the original French.'

'Ah.' Jack Harper nods, his face unreadable. 'And … Emma, is it? What are you reading?'

'Um, actually …' I swallow, playing for time.

I cannot say
Celebrity Doodles – What Do They Mean
? Even though it is actually very good. Quick. What's a serious book?

'You were reading
Great Expectations
, weren't you, Emma?' says Artemis. 'For your book club.'

'Yes!' I say in relief. 'Yes, that's right—'

And then I stop abruptly as I meet Jack Harper's gaze.

Fuck.

Inside my head, my own voice from the plane is babbling away innocently.

'…
just skimmed the back cover and pretended I'd read it
…'

'
Great Expectations
,' says Jack Harper thoughtfully. 'What did you think of it, Emma?'

I don't
believe
he asked me that.

For a few moments I can't speak.

'Well!' I clear my throat at last. 'I thought it … it was really … extremely …'

'It's a wonderful book,' says Artemis earnestly. 'Once you fully understand the symbolism.'

Shut
up
, you stupid show-off. Oh God. What am I going to say?

'I thought it really … resonated,' I say at last.

'What resonated?' says Nick.

'The … um …' I clear my throat. 'The resonances.'

There's a puzzled silence.

'The resonances … resonated?' says Artemis.

'Yes,' I say defiantly. 'They did. Anyway, I've got to get on with my work.' I turn away with a roll of my eyes and start typing feverishly.

OK. So the book discussion didn't go that well. But that was just sheer bad luck. Think positive. I can still do this. I can still impress him—

'I just don't know what's wrong with it!' Artemis is saying in a girly voice. 'I water it every day.'

She pokes her spider plant and gazes at Jack Harper winsomely. 'Do you know anything about plants, Jack?'

'I don't, I'm afraid,' says Jack, and looks over at me, his face deadpan. 'What do you think could be wrong with it, Emma?'

'…
sometimes, when I'm pissed off with Artemis
…'

'I … I have no idea,' I say at last, and carry on typing, my face flaming.

OK. Never mind. It doesn't matter. So I watered one little plant with orange juice. So what?

'Has anyone seen my World Cup mug?' says Paul, walking into the office with a frown. 'I can't seem to find it anywhere.'

'…
I broke my boss's mug last week and hid the pieces in my handbag
…'

Shit.

OK. Never mind. So I broke one tiny mug, too. It doesn't matter. Just keep typing.

'Hey Jack,' says Nick, in a matey, lads-together voice. 'Just in case you don't think we have any fun, look up there!' He nods towards the picture of a photocopied, G-stringed bottom which has been up on the noticeboard since Christmas. 'We still don't know who it is …'

'…
I had a few too many drinks at the last Christmas party
…'

OK, now I want to die. Someone please kill me.

'Hi, Emma!' comes Katie's voice, and I look up to see her hurrying into the office, her face pink with excitement. When she sees Jack Harper, she stops dead. 'Oh!'

'It's all right. I'm simply a fly on the wall.' He waves a friendly hand at her. 'Go ahead. Say whatever you were going to say.'

'Hi Katie!' I manage. 'What is it?'

As soon as I say her name, Jack Harper looks up again, a riveted expression on his face.

I do not like the look of that riveted expression.

What did I tell him about Katie? What? My mind spools furiously back. What did I say? What did I—

I feel an internal lurch. Oh God.

'…
we have this secret code where she comes in and says, "Can I go through some numbers with you, Emma
?"
and it really means
"
Shall we nip out to Starbucks
…"'

I told him our skiving code.

I stare desperately at Katie's eager face, trying somehow to convey the message to her.

Do not say it. Do
not
say you want to go over some numbers with me.

But she's completely oblivious.

'I just … erm …' She clears her throat in a businesslike way and glances self-consciously at Jack Harper. 'Could I possibly go over some numbers with you, Emma?'

Fuck.

My face floods with colour. My whole body is prickling.

'You know,' I say, in a bright, artificial voice, 'I'm not sure that'll be possible today.'

Katie stares at me in surprise.

'But I have to … I really
need
you to go over some numbers with me.' She nods in excitement.

'I'm quite tied up here with my work, Katie!' I force a smile, simultaneously trying to telegraph 'Shut up!'

'It won't take long! Just quickly.'

'I really don't think so.'

Katie is practically hopping from foot to foot.

'But Emma, they're very …
important
numbers. I really need to … to tell you about them …'

'Emma.' At Jack Harper's voice I jump as though I've been stung. He leans towards me confidentially. 'Maybe you should go over the numbers.'

I stare back at him for a few moments, unable to speak, blood pounding in my ears.

'Right,' I manage after a long pause. 'OK. I'll do that.'

SEVEN

As I walk along the street with Katie, half of me is numb with horror, and half almost wants to burst into hysterical laughter. Everyone else is in the office, trying as hard as they can to impress Jack Harper. And here I am, strolling off nonchalantly under his nose for a cappuccino.

'I'm sorry I interrupted you,' says Katie brightly, as we push our way through the doors of Starbucks. 'With Jack Harper there and everything. I had no idea he'd be just
sitting
there! But you know, I was really subtle,' she adds reassuringly. 'He'll never know what we're up to.'

'I'm sure you're right,' I manage. 'He'll never guess in a million years.'

'Are you OK, Emma?' Katie looks at me curiously.

'I'm fine!' I say with a kind of shrill hilarity. 'I'm absolutely fine! So … why the emergency summit?'

'I
had
to tell you. Two cappuccinos, please.' Katie beams at me excitedly. 'You won't believe it!'

'What is it?'

'I've got a date. I met a new guy!'

'No!' I say, staring at her. 'Really? That was quick.'

'Yes, it happened yesterday, just like you said! I deliberately walked further than usual in my lunch hour, and I found this really nice place where they were serving lunch. And there was this nice man in the line next to me – and he struck up a conversation with me. Then we shared a table and chatted some more … and I was just leaving, when he said did I fancy having a drink some time?' She takes the cappuccinos with a beam. 'So we're going out this evening.'

'That's fantastic!' I say in delight. 'So come on, what's he like?'

'He's lovely. He's called Phillip! He's got these lovely twinkly eyes, and he's really charming and polite, and he's got a great sense of humour …'

'He sounds amazing!'

'I know. I have a really good feeling about him.' Katie's face glows as we sit down. 'I really do. He just seems different. And I know this sounds really stupid, Emma …' she hesitates. 'But I feel you somehow
brought
him to me.'

'Me?' I gape at her.

'You gave me the confidence to speak to him.'

'But all I said was—'

'You said you knew I'd meet someone. You had faith in me. And I did!' Her eyes begin to shine. 'I'm sorry,' she whispers, and dabs her eyes with a napkin. 'I'm just a bit overcome.'