Can't Let Go (2 page)

“Yes.” He reached for his beer. “If for no other reason than I can eat half your food without straining over the table.”

The waitress interrupted, winking and remarking that they looked “cozy” in their new seating arrangement. Aiden liked someone else noticing how well he and Sadie fit together. He saw it too. During the few hours that had stretched between them like days.

They had bypassed all the get-to-know-you bullshit, delving deep into the hurts and pains normally reserved for way later, or never in some relationships, in just one night.

He’d left her place and chased the dawn to his house, before crashing into bed and falling asleep. He woke in the late afternoon with Sadie on his mind and the deepest sense of longing pulling his gut. As if the connection they’d forged had looped around him and tied itself into a knot.

There was something utterly freeing about Sadie knowing all his crap. The not hiding part, the not worrying he might be found out a fraud part. It had taken everything within him not to ride back to her house yesterday just to hold her, talk to her, kiss her.

Waiting one more day had felt like an eternity.

Their dinners arrived and Aiden glanced at Sadie’s plate. “I love that you ordered a steak.” He stole a spud. “And fries.”

“Hey, a girl’s gotta eat.” She assessed his salmon with a raised eyebrow. “You’re going to be hungry in an hour.”

“I’m saving room for dessert,” he said, followed by a slightly defensive, “Fish is good for you.”

“Sissy.” She lifted her knife and sawed into her medium-rare rib eye.

It’d be so easy to kiss her right now. The few kisses he’d managed to steal had left him wanting more, and wondering if he could ever get enough. But he knew better than to push her…than to push himself. Fast was one thing. Warp speed was another.

Sadie was a self-proclaimed “date-aholic,” limiting herself to first dates only. By her set of standards, Aiden shouldn’t even be here with her tonight. Which made him feel pretty damn lucky. Last thing he needed was to screw himself out of a chance at date number three. He ate a bite of smoky, blackened salmon as he recalled her reasoning. Sadie’s fiancé left her for her younger sister. It was a crap way to find out the wedding was off. He recalled Sadie’s reaction and chuckled.

“What?” she asked, swallowing a bite and reaching for her margarita.

Aiden paused, fork in hand. “Did you really feed your wedding invitations into a shredder?”

“One by one,” she said.

“That’s awesome.”

“It’s no crashing my motorcycle, but it did make me feel better.”

Man, he liked her. He should just admit it. Get it out there. Aiden dropped his fork and picked up her free hand. “I like you.” He kissed her knuckles, watching her brown eyes grow dark in response to his touch. Worried he was being too intense, he released her hand and went back to his meal.

Sadie ran nervous fingers through her hair, confirming his suspicions. She liked him, too. And he liked that
a lot.

“You’re like one of those Magic Eye paintings,” he said after swallowing another bite of his food. “I can never see those damn things, but I always try.”

She snorted softly, which he found oddly appealing. “Oh, so I frustrate you,” she said, cutting off another bite of steak. “There’s a common sentiment.”

“No. Not frustrating. Fun.”

Her fair eyebrows pinched. “You think I’m fun?”

“Is that surprising?” What kind of jerks had this amazing woman been dating?
The wrong ones
, he answered himself.

“Yeah, kinda.”

“Know what I think?” he asked.

Her lips curved the slightest bit. “What?”

What the hell, he’d admitted a lot of truths to her over the last forty-eight hours. What was one more? “I think I could be around you every day and never tire of trying to figure you out.”

Sadie’s next bite hung uneaten from her fork as she simply stared at the man next to her. Of all the dates she’d been on, Aiden was the first man she remembered rising to her challenge. Typically when men saw the obstacles she presented, they rerouted to a less scenic trail. Not that she
tried
to be challenging. It just…sort of happened naturally.

Plus, the art of keeping a man at arm’s length was tricky. And made easier when they were the ones who weren’t willing to stick around. Aiden didn’t seem to be interested in running. And she wasn’t sure she was interested in having him run. She was in unchartered territory, breaking her own rules left and right.

First by inviting him back to her house the night she met him. Second, by confessing lots of rotten stories from her life. He’d started it. Had penetrated her defenses with those bright, earnest eyes of his, had blurted out that his cheating wife had left him like he was discussing what he did for a living. Which brought her to warning sign number
three
: Aiden’s confession that he was not only jobless, but had lost a gob of money in the divorce. She recalled the reproachful smile on his face when he said, “So I am an unemployed thirty-year-old with a divorce under my belt, who can’t keep my wife in our marriage bed.” He’d winked at her. “Sexy, right?”

All she’d wanted to do was kiss his unemployed, divorced, sexy face. Because she couldn’t think of anything sexier than the depth of honesty in his eyes in that moment, or the trust he must have in her to lay out his failures for her perusal.

It’d been an amazing night. And for all her fretting that they might not have anything else to talk about come tonight’s dinner date, Aiden didn’t seem to be running out of steam.

“I almost lost my mom to cancer.”

She blinked at him, wondering why the whiplash subject change.

“I don’t know exactly what it’s like to lose a parent, but I know what it’s like to almost lose one. Twice.”

Right. Her father. The juicy steak in her mouth turned to rubber. She chewed, finally able to swallow with the aid of a hearty gulp of her drink. “Is she out of the woods?”

“Another month, she will be. Been a long five years.” He took a very deep breath. “That’s why I didn’t tell my family I’m divorced.”

She felt her eyebrows hit her hairline. So he hadn’t exactly shared
all
of his secrets. Though she’d kept a few herself. One of them, a whopper. But, wow, not telling his family he’s divorced? “Why not?”

Guilt mingled with sorrow on Aiden’s face. “Mom’s fragile. I don’t want her to have to deal with my stuff. I’d tell my dad and brothers and sister if I thought they’d keep quiet. I don’t think they would mean to bring it up, but one day it’d just slip out.” He met her eyes. “She worries. When Evan’s wife died last year, the stress of not being able to protect him almost killed her. That was a bad summer.”

Sadie clasped his hand. “And you’re protecting her.”

He squeezed her fingers and watched her for the longest time. When he spoke, he said the very last thing she expected. “If they knew, I’d take you to meet them tonight.” He held her eye. “Just so you know.”

Sadie swallowed. They weren’t really in “meeting the parents” territory. Not on date two. But this didn’t feel like a second date. Hell, this didn’t fell like any date she’d ever had. They’d shared so much already…They’d sort of advanced ahead a few levels.

They ate quietly for a few minutes, the scrape of silverware on plates the only sound between them. Aiden spoke first. “I’m breaking some of your dating rules, aren’t I?”

“No.” She looked over at his handsome face, so familiar to her already. “You’re breaking all of them.”

A
iden fiddled with the car radio and blew past the entrance to Sadie’s apartment complex.

“Where are we going?”

“You haven’t seen my place yet.” He spared her a glance across the seat. “And I want you to see it.”

Sadie’s heart thudded so low she thought it might have relocated to her belly button. Yep. Things were advancing much faster than she was used to.

“That okay with you?” he asked, this time not looking over.

She studied his profile, sunset lighting the slight scruff on his chin, thick lashes narrowed over those amazing eyes. “Sure.” But she wasn’t sure, even when Aiden unlocked his front door and let her inside. This felt like a significant step. A huge step. Which scared and thrilled her about as much as everything else they’d done together so far.

So far
.

Best not to overanalyze that thought.

Aiden’s place wasn’t the bachelor pad she’d expected. This was a real grown-up’s house…with a suave mahogany entertainment stand, and thick, red curtains covering the windows. The clean, white trim and dove-gray walls made the space look large, but it felt homey. There was a square shadow on the wall, likely where a wedding photo or piece of art used to hang. A low coffee table stood by the couch, covered in mail, the latest issue of
Cycle World
magazine on top.

“Harley Sportster.” Sadie lifted the magazine and studied the cover. “What it lacks in power it makes up for in ease of riding.”

“It’s okay. For a starter bike.”

She narrowed her eyes at Aiden. “Oh, so, easy handling and maneuverability are in the minus column?”

“No. But the fact that it vibrates enough to jar your teeth loose might put it there.”

She dropped the magazine with a slap and crossed her arms over her breasts. “That was when they were solid mounted. With the rubber mount, the motor is isolated from the frame, keeping the vibrations to a minimum.”

A slow smile spread across Aiden’s face. He palmed her hips and her stomach clenched at the feel of his warm hands on her body. He leaned forward and kissed her temple, murmuring into her hair, “You’re sexy when you talk shop.”

His nearness efficiently removed every thought from her brain. She couldn’t have found her train of thought if she were standing on the tracks. Sadie recovered when his hands left her hips, hyperaware of the heat imprint left where he had touched her.

Aiden plopped onto an L-shaped sofa dominating the room. “What do you think of Sheila?”

“You can’t go wrong with a custom Super Glide,” she commented. “Not only does it have a sea of sexy, glinting chrome from handlebars to tailpipe, but its slammed low rear suspension makes for a laid-back, easy ride.”

He smirked. “Now you’re just showing off.”

She grinned.

Aiden propped a boot on the cushion as she sat next to him. He reached for the remote, flipping through the cable music channels. He paused on a Latin Dance station, canted his eyebrow, and shuffled his shoulders to the beat in a silly, seated dance.

“No?” he asked, when she bit back a laugh.

“No,” she responded, even though she secretly loved the way he made her chest lift like it was full of air-popped corn.

A few stations later, he landed on a Rob Thomas song and adjusted the volume so the guitar strains faded into the background. “You decorated this place?” she guessed.

“How’d you know?”

“The couch is a little too big for this room, more sturdy than pretty.” She raised a brow at his boot, which rested on the cushion. He slid it to the floor.

“I do what I want.”

“So do I,” she said quietly. She’d been waiting for him to make a move since they left the restaurant. He didn’t, though, behaving like a perfect gentleman all the way through dinner and when walking to her car. She’d lectured herself about patience, about resisting the urge to make the first move…a battle she was quickly losing.

Unable to keep from touching him any longer, Sadie reached for his ponytail and slid the leather tie, releasing his hair. She ran her fingers through the thick, soft strands, starting at his nape and working her way down. Never in her life had she been attracted to a guy with long hair. Not until Aiden.

She closed her eyes and breathed him in. “I’ve been wanting to do that all evening,” she confessed into his ear.

He turned his body toward hers, invading her space, his palm on her bare thigh at the hem of her skirt. He stroked her skin with his fingertips, along the hem and below. “Guess what I’ve been wanting to do all night?”

Without waiting for her to answer, he leaned in and pressed a kiss to her lips. Before she recovered from the feel of his amazing mouth, he kissed her again, then licked her top lip with his tongue, suckling on it for a few seconds before letting her go with a long, slow pull.

Geez. His
mouth
. As decadent and sinful as the double chocolate soufflé they’d shared for dessert tonight.

He lowered his head again and Sadie threaded both hands into his hair, opening to his exploring tongue, which tangled with hers. Aiden’s palm slid around the back of her thigh, then behind her knee, leaving a white-hot trail wherever his hand touched. By the time he smoothed over her calf, a mewl she couldn’t smother crept from her throat. The more he kissed her, the looser she felt, like someone had WD-40’d her joints. Her breaths were coming faster now, short little inhalations in the brief moments his lips left hers. Soon he had her laid flat on her back and he stretched over her, the length of his body pressing her into the couch cushion as the strums of a Train song played softly behind them.

He slipped her boots off, dropping them with one dull clunk after the other as they hit the hardwood floor. She arched against his chest as he drove her wild with his tongue, drinking her in with his wet, hot mouth until her only thought was
more
. Before she registered his hand on her back, he’d undone her bra through her tank top with the flick of a finger.

Underwire no longer pressing her breastbone, Sadie sucked in a full breath. Aiden paused, mouth hovering over hers, waiting for her to protest, or maybe seeking her permission. Well, he had it. She slid the bra strap off one arm, then the other, then dragged the bra out of the bottom of her tank and dumped it unceremoniously to the floor.

Aiden’s eyes darkened. And there was that dimple again.

She didn’t resist, this time taking advantage of how close they were and licking the adorable dent before covering it with a kiss. Aiden made a low growling sound before gripping her bottom in both hands and hauling her into his lap.

Oh boy. This was much better. She straddled him, tightened her arms around his neck, and shivered as the tips of his hair tickled her forearms.

“Comfortable?” he asked, skimming her sides with his fingertips.

All she could do was nod. And reach for that inconvenient shirt hiding his chest. Sadie hauled it over his head, sitting back on his legs to take in all of those tanned washboard abs and the faint golden hair curling over his perfect pecs. She dragged her fingernails lightly first over one of his nipples, then the other. Aiden dropped his head onto the back of the couch, watching her through hooded eyes, his hands kneading her thighs just shy of slipping beneath her hiked skirt.

Heart beating erratically, Sadie molded her hands around his shoulders, moved to his arms next, then took his palms and slid them just beneath her top. His throat convulsed as he swallowed, his green eyes dark and choppy, his heavy breaths expanding his beautiful chest.

Sadie licked her bottom lip and that seemed to be when Aiden lost whatever harnessed control he had possessed up until now. His hot hands flattened against her naked back and he pulled her mouth to his for a rough kiss. Sadie surrendered to his demanding tongue, gasping for breath when he bit her bottom lip before soothing it with another wet kiss.

In a blur of movement, Aiden lifted her shirt off, tossed it aside, and pulled her flush against him. Sadie wrapped her arms around his neck, flattening her breasts against his chest. He caressed her back, slowing his pace while she inhaled and exhaled, and tried not to lose her mind as his chest hair tickled her sensitive flesh with each ragged breath.

His hands encircled her ribs, so big his thumbs nearly touched, and Sadie held her next breath, overwhelmed by their nakedness, the feel of his skin so amazing…

…so frightening.

Like someone had emptied a glass of ice water over her body, Sadie sobered. She’d never before allowed her brain to disconnect from the sensations in her body so thoroughly. She was half naked, her skirt so high on her thighs, she may as well not be wearing it. She took one truncated, panicked breath and Aiden’s hands halted their exploration. He kissed her with finality, dragging his tongue slowly along her bottom lip, then eased his hands down her torso and away from her breasts.

He knows. He knows you’re freaking out and now you’ll have some explaining to do.

Sadie pulled back and covered herself, appalled by her own reaction, but unable to keep from it. How had she let a kiss go this far? Aiden allowed her the reprieve, his breaths ragged and heavy, his hands frozen low on her waist and slightly damp with sweat. Sadie, wall of strength that she was, was surprised to feel the burn of fresh tears at the backs of her eyes.

Tears of embarrassment.

The rest of the evening played out in her mind, starting with the awkward silence while she attempted to hide herself as she redressed. Then she fast-forwarded to the awkward apology that would doom Aiden into insisting everything was “okay.” And, finally, the even more awkward drive home, when she’d chatter nonstop to fill the quiet but sexually charged air between them. Aiden would drop her off, hop on his bike, and leave frustrated and Sadie would never see him again.

Sadie felt a rush of shyness, her cheeks going warm as she tightened her arms around her bare breasts. She wanted to sink into the floor, but since that was about as likely as another date with Aiden, she may as well tackle the situation head-on. Which was how, exactly? How was she supposed to start this conversation?

Sorry, no boobs for you
.

Aiden moved one hand to the back of Sadie’s head, his watchfulness making her twitchy. He rubbed his fingers gently on her scalp, then whispered, “okay,” and dropped a kiss onto her lips.

Okay?
She blinked at him like an owlet.
What did
okay
mean?

Aiden hugged her against him as he leaned—wow, she could feel exactly how much she’d turned him on right through those thick jeans he wore—and grabbed something from the other side of the couch.

His shirt.

“I won’t look.” He turned his shirt right side out and, true to his word, kept his eyes on hers as he stretched the neck over her head. He held the shirt out to hide her body as Sadie shyly threaded her arms through the sleeves.

He pulled her hair through the neck of the T-shirt and ran his hands down her clothed back. “Better?”

So much better, but Sadie couldn’t even look at him. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to—”

Aiden turned her chin with his thumb and finger, smothering her words with two quick kisses. “Nope. You don’t get to feel bad.”

She had to smile, despite the heat in her face, and the very real urge to duck into the shirt like a turtle into its shell. In an attempt to ease the tension, and get the horrible part of the evening over with as soon as possible, she blurted, “Here’s to the most uncomfortable car ride home ever.”

Aiden didn’t laugh, didn’t reply, only moved her until he cradled her like a baby, and stood with her in his arms.

She yipped, grappling onto his shoulders for balance. “What are you doing?”

“Well, I’m not taking you home, if that’s what you’re asking.” Aiden carried her through the house and kicked open a door.

In the streetlight shining through the window, she made out a pile of dark bedding and a hulking dresser in one corner. He plopped her onto the bed with a soft bounce, sat on a chair, and started untying his boots. “Do you like to have water on the nightstand while you sleep?”

Sadie pushed herself up on her elbows. “What?”

“Water. To drink.” He slipped off one boot, then another, tossing them into his closet. Before she could answer, he stood, unsnapped his jeans, and slid them down his legs. Sadie caught a glimpse of black briefs before wrenching her eyes away.

If she wasn’t embarrassed before, she was now.
Look at him.
But she couldn’t. She wanted to die—just a little—for her own prudish, prim behavior keeping her from peeling back that last layer of cotton and learning what Aiden had under there. She bit her lip. She deserved a lip bite. And to have her ears boxed. What woman in her right mind would stop
now
?

Aiden approached and reached for her skirt, pulling Sadie from her thoughts. Her eyes trickled down his bare chest to his underwear. She didn’t look away this time. In the same way she couldn’t look a second ago, now her attention was glued to a nearly naked Aiden and the impressive arousal straining the seams of his briefs.

“No laughing,” he growled, unbuttoning her skirt.

When she was able to lurch her eyes from his crotch to his face, she saw that he was teasing her, his eyes glinting with humor, even as a muscle ticked in his jaw. He shimmied her skirt down her legs, at the same time pulling the T-shirt over her thighs to hide her panties from view.

Sadie allowed him to undress her, her brain tripping over itself trying to figure out the new twist the evening had taken. This wasn’t a position she’d ever been in before. The times she recalled calling a stop to a heated make-out session, it had ended abruptly rather than continue at a steady pace. Until now, she thought men had only two settings: On and Off. Aiden seemed to be set on Cruise.

Once her skirt was off, Aiden tugged the blankets out from under her and covered her up, then rounded the bed and crawled in next to her. She slid down in the bed while he got comfortable. When he settled, he wrapped an arm around her waist, tucked her back against his torso, and her head under his chin. He blew out what sounded like a pleased sigh and Sadie forced herself to breathe.