Can't Shake You (22 page)

She bit at her lip and gazing up at him coyly from beneath her eyelashes. “We made it through.”

“We did,” he said, reaching out to tuck a strand of hair behind her ear, his fingers lingering on the fast pulse in her neck.

She looked around him, presumably checking to make sure they were alone, then launched herself into his arms.

He groaned, caught her without effort, and then turned and pressed her against the side of his truck. Their mouths and tongues met in a hot, tangled mess and her legs went around his waist, her fingers frantic in his hair.

Déjà vu hit him like a wrecking ball. McCauley’s parking lot. Three years ago. A dress. Torn panties. The hottest, most public sex he’d ever had.

But this wasn’t midnight. And, while it was a Tuesday night, the parking lot of The Lodge wasn’t nearly as empty or as seedy as McCauley’s.

“Damn, babe.” His fingers dug into her ass as he pulled away and rested his head against hers, breathless and praying for willpower.

She licked her lips, her chest heaving against his. “Thank you for earlier.”

His eyebrows lifted. “You’re not mad?”

“No.” When she shook her head, her ponytail swung from side to side. “I told Reed no and I meant it. I’m not interested.”

Halle-fucking-luiah
. “He said you didn’t want to go out with him before either.”

“I didn’t.”

“Then why did you?”

“Does it matter?”

He gulped and shook his head. “Not anymore.”

And he was pretty sure he meant it. He didn’t like that she’d been with Fletcher, but there was nothing he could do about it now. He’d have to be satisfied with knowing
he
was the one she wanted right now.

“For what it’s worth, I’m sorry. I didn’t know...” She waved her hand between them, then tipped her head to the side, frowned sadly, and sighed.

Yep, he got it loud and clear. And he had his own apologies, too. Not telling her how he felt right away, for one. He’d had the opportunity and he’d pushed it aside, assuming she wouldn’t be interested in waiting for him to come back from the desert. For a while, he’d even been sorry he hadn’t told Fletcher about his past with Carissa. But right now? He had everything he wanted in his arms. And he wasn’t sorry one damn bit. “I hear ya, babe.”

“But this is fun. This is good. Right?” She flexed her hips against his to make her point and, yeah, it was good. More than good.

“Yes, but it’s not going to be fun or good if we get caught.” Fletcher was still in the restaurant and they were in the middle of town. He took her mouth in another searing kiss before lowering her down the ground. She gripped his t-shirt and clung to him until she had her footing again.

“We didn’t care about getting caught that first night,” she said quietly, smoothing her hands over his chest.

“Back then we had nothing to lose.”

***

C
arissa put the cap back on the toothpaste and shut out the bathroom light before padding barefoot to her bedroom. Anxious for a good night’s sleep, she slid the window open to let in some fresh air and slipped into bed.

But the flash of red from her cell on the nightstand had her reaching out in the dark and thumbing to the message.

Cade.
Trying to be patient, but you’re killing me. Please call. Soon.

Ugh.
Pushing upright again, she leaned back against the headboard and closed her eyes, releasing a breath she felt she’d been holding forever.

Almost three years ago, she’d cut her ties with Lincoln and struck out on her own. In the process, she’d left behind a small array of friends and family. Namely her brother and her father. She hadn’t meant to cut Cade from her life, but she’d been so angry when he’d taken their dad’s side. She’d felt so betrayed.

She hadn’t intended to break away entirely from her father either. She just couldn’t handle his drinking anymore. Couldn’t take the 2 a.m. “taxi” calls from the bar or the “Sweetie, I need you to get some money from the bank” calls from the county jail.

The morning after and sometimes the in-between stages of buzzed and wasted were worst of all, because that’s when her father mourned the loss of her mother. The love of his life. His reason for waking up in the morning. Gone. Her life taken from them all in the blink of an eye by a driver not all that different from her father on any given night of the week.

Between the ages of eighteen and twenty-four, she’d unintentionally become his caretaker. Making sure his bills were paid, that he had food in this stomach and clean clothes on his back. All the while going to college and graduating, starting her master’s program, and then landing her first honest-to-goodness job. Thank God for Maddie and a handful of other girlfriends, who’d kept her sane and ensured she didn’t get sucked completely into the abyss of her father’s disease and devastation.

But friends could only do so much, and six and a half years of trying to live her own life while keeping her father’s afloat eventually took its toll.

Visiting Maddie in River Bend had been her breaking point. Seeing her friend so happy. So in love. Living the life Carissa wanted for herself. It was like the cold splash of water to the face she’d needed to come out of the fog and see clearly.

She’d decided then that, while her father may have given up on his dreams, she wasn’t going to give up on hers.

And then Josh had walked in. Literally. All smart and sexy and confident and amazing. Her ideal man in every way imaginable. She’d chalked the encounter up to fate and went with it.

In a way, he’d been her rebound. Her first selfish indulgence after so many years of putting someone else’s needs before her own. But that night in River Bend, she’d put herself first and she’d reached out and she’d taken what she wanted.

Josh was right. That night, she’d had nothing to lose.

But, despite his accuracy, the comment still sat unsettled in her stomach. What did it mean for what they were doing now? That something had changed? That they had something to lose?

The thought both terrified and excited her.

There’d been something different about Josh from the beginning. So unexpected and powerful and it had given her the strength to make an even bigger decision—to leave Lincoln and start over. She hadn’t been fool-hearted enough to think she’d move to Cameron County and they’d be together. She knew he was leaving for deployment and she was pretty sure he wasn’t in a frame of mind to make any kind of promises. He just made her feel stronger than she had in a long time and she’d hoped they’d at least remain friends. She remembered thinking she needed more people like him in her life.

But that had been such a crock of shit.

The truth was, a piece of her had gone to Afghanistan with Josh. And for so long she’d tried to pretend that hadn’t been the case. It wasn’t until she and Reed had went their separate ways that she let herself acknowledge seeing that little part of herself reflected back at her whenever Josh was around. When he’d throw a smile her way or when he’d laugh. When they’d accidentally brush past each other and touch. Hell, whenever they shared the same air space she’d seen it. Felt it.

And now? When they were together? When they were alone? She sucked in a deep breath and sighed. She hadn’t felt that whole in years.

Hearing from Cade after all this time was much the same. She’d started to see glimpses of a person she hadn’t known in a very long time—the Carissa she’d been before her mother died and before her father fell apart. The sunny, optimistic girl who had faith in everyone. The girl who wasn’t afraid to take chances or risks. The girl who believed that love was a more powerful healer than a wicked destroyer.

As scared as she was to get hurt again, her heart had already made up its mind—she wanted to let people in again. She wanted to let go of the bitterness and the resentment. Wanted to fill the void in her chest that walking away from her family had created. Wanted to savor every second of being with Josh, because nothing in life had ever made her feel better. Higher. Happier.

Only he hadn’t signed up for that kind of role in her life. And, though he’d given her an awful lot of himself over the past couple weeks, she suspected she’d already taken more than he’d intended to give. His strained confrontation with Reed tonight was a prime example.

She looked at the phone in her hand and sighed.

Her brother, however, was another story. He was offering and she was tired of denying herself the things she wanted most in life.

She dialed the phone and stuck it her ear.

“I
used to love fairs as a kid. Especially the snow cones and the bull riders.”

Josh chuckled as he slowed up in the bumper-to-bumper fair traffic late Wednesday afternoon, waiting patiently behind a mile long line of vehicles, nearly all of which were signaled right, toward the Adams County fairgrounds. He snuck a glance at Carissa, resting her chin in the palm of her hand, the reminiscent adoration in her eyes giving an innocent hue to her pretty face.

“Was your family the type to fair hop? Or did you hold out all year, waiting for the fair closest to home?”

“We usually only hit up the county fair, but once my friends and I were old enough to drive, we rarely missed one within reasonable driving distance. Carnivals were, as I’m sure you remember, the perfect opportunity to trawl for hunky farm boys.”

“Uh, the farm studs weren’t quite my type, babe.” He sent a wink across the cab of his truck and she grinned. He wasn’t sure he liked the thought of her being one of the girls he and his friends used to prowl for. He knew the things he’d done in the shadows of all those booths and displays, knew the smooth moves he’d tried—and sometimes pulled off—on the rides. How many pairs of wily hands had she fallen prey to? How many I-barely-know-you kisses—or worse—had she doled out to guys just like him?

He edged ahead a few more car lengths, then shook his head with amusement. “I can’t believe all this time I thought you were sweet and innocent when, really, you’re nothing more than a carnival hussy.”

Her warm, infectious laugh filled the truck, and she shifted to face him, resting her head on the back of the seat. “Come on, hot shot. You know I’m not
that
innocent.”

No, she wasn’t. But he much preferred to think she’d saved all of her reckless inhibition for him. “I don’t think I like where you’re going with this.”

“Jealous?”

He shot her a sidelong glance, saw her wide grin soften to a seductive curve as she reached out and stroked the backs of her fingers down the length of his bicep. He barely contained a shiver. Christ, he was almost as whipped as his brother.

“I don’t do jealous—I one up,” he said.

Her eyebrows darted upward. “Oh?”

“Yep. Better get your hussy on, babe, because once we’ve taken care of this cabinet business, I’m gonna rock your world in one of those Ferris wheel cars and make you forget every other
ride
you’ve been on.”

***

L
ess than ten steps into the weathered, but comfortable building that housed a mom-n-pop style cabinetry shop, Carissa had to seriously wonder about the so-called
friendship
Josh had with the salesclerk.

The bubbly blonde, with gorgeous, deep blue eyes and a chest that made even Carissa stare, immediately jumped off of her perch behind the counter and catapulted her long, slender body into Josh’s arms.

“Oh, my God, I don’t believe it! It’s been forever!” Tiffany, of the very large and probably fake breasts, clung to Josh in a manner so intimate, Carissa actually considered giving them a moment or two alone.

“Sure has, Tiff.” He kissed the woman’s cheek and set her back from their embrace, looking her up and down like he’d done it a hundred times before and was still impressed by what he saw.

Carissa cleared her throat and when Josh finally turned back to her, she arched a sharp, questioning eyebrow.

He gave her a twisted, undecipherable grin and took what appeared to be an intentional step away from his friend. When he snagged Carissa’s hand and tucked her under his arm, she wondered if he did it to make her feel better or to keep her from running.

“So, you’re Carissa,” Tiffany said before Josh could formally introduce the two of them. Something about the woman’s narrow-eyed inspection, wry smile, and knowing tone had Carissa’s warning bells going off, but she couldn’t quite put her finger on the why of it. She wasn’t above admitting it might have just been intimidation, considering her own assets had nothing on Tiffany’s, but still...something seemed off.

“I am.” She extended her free hand and greeted the woman, who somehow seemed to have been expecting her. Which was more than a little strange considering Josh had made a point of telling her he’d forgot to call his “friend” and let her know they were coming. “And you’re Tiffany. It’s nice to meet you.”

“You, too. I’ve he—”

“Tiff’s a fellow Reservist,” Josh interrupted. “We spent some time together in the desert.”

Was that so?

“Afghanistan, babe.” The squeeze of his hand around hers and the amused glint in his eyes told her he’d read her mind.

“Oh.” But she wasn’t sure that made her feel any better. This woman was gorgeous and she guessed there hadn’t been that many women in Afghanistan, especially ones who were of the centerfold quality Tiffany was.

The blonde woman smiled uneasily, probably sensing the discomfort in the air. “So what brings you two to town, specifically to my little piece of paradise?”

“We need some quality cabinets at a killer price. I seem to recall something about this place being good for a deal.”

“Ah, and if I recall correctly, I owe you the best possible deal.” Tiffany winked and Josh winced.

His voice was low, humbled even, when he spoke. “You know you don’t owe me anything.”

“But I do.” She shifted her eyes from him to Carissa. “He probably didn’t tell you, but this guy saved my life. Well, maybe not my life exactly, but my integrity for sure.”

Carissa looked to where Josh was absent-mindedly rubbing at the back of his neck, clearly uncomfortable with being made into a hero, which he no doubt was. Realization clicked instantly. “The beer bottle.”