Read Can't Stop Believing (HARMONY) Online
Authors: Jodi Thomas
M
ARCH
15
T
HE
L
INCOLN
HADN
’
T
SHOWN
UP
IN
FRONT
OF
THE
DUPLEX
on Monday night, but Ronny trusted Mr. Carleon. On Tuesday when it came, she saw that Marty was still alive but too weak to wake. On Wednesday, he talked a few moments then drifted off. By Thursday, she wasn’t sure she’d find him alive. The week had been a roller coaster with little sleep. Even Cord McDowell told her she looked pale when he came in to mail Boxed B letters.
She sometimes wondered if Cord had guessed she was the one who made sure he got a newspaper mailed to him in prison after his folks died. She couldn’t think of another reason for him to make a point of speaking to her when he came in while he ignored everyone else. They were two usually invisible people who saw each other.
With the days at work and the nights at the hospital, Ronny realized she was wearing down, but she couldn’t stop. When someone is in the hospital, everyone around them dies a little. Each night she saw Marty, she felt his pain as she watched his life slipping away.
The newest rumor Ronny’s mother had started was that Ronny’s living alone, when everyone knows a girl should live with her mother until marriage no matter how late in life, had led to an unwanted pregnancy. Dallas Logan had a hard time pulling off the rumor because Ronny looked like she was losing weight, not gaining. Plus folks talked to Dallas Logan only long enough to plot their escape.
Ronny no longer worried what her mother told people. She’d said she never wanted to speak to Ronny again, and Ronny planned to do her best to honor that request. Dallas Logan didn’t miss having a daughter; she simply missed having someone to control and lecture. Marty had given Ronny the strength to walk away from her mother two years ago, and she’d silently thanked him every day. He’d pulled her out of hell, and even if she hadn’t fallen in love with him, she still owed him.
When the black Lincoln arrived an hour before midnight on Thursday, Ronny let out a long breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding and walked to the open door, letting all her worries and problems slip away. Seeing Marty was all that mattered.
Mr. Carleon met her at the back door of the hospital, his face as stony as always.
“How is he?” She braced herself for bad news.
“He’s awake but in pain,” Mr. Carleon whispered as he moved down the back hallways with her, almost running to keep up.
Ronny felt both happy and sad. She knew Marty had skipped some of his medicine so he could see her. Being awake meant pain.
She almost ran into his room but took a moment to calm, preparing herself for whatever might happen. Reason told her that one night he’d be gone, but reason didn’t reach her heart.
When she entered, three men blocked her path to Marty’s bed. They were all three tall and lean like runners. One, the oldest at about forty, wore khakis and a bomber jacket. Another, maybe five years younger, was dressed like a hunter, and the third seemed just as comfortable as the others in his suit.
All three stood shoulder to shoulder in front of Marty’s bed. They’d been waiting for her, for they showed no surprise. The urge to run washed over her, but she stood her ground. If they wanted her out of the room, they’d have to use force.
“You Ronny Logan?” the one in the suit asked, as if he were quizzing a witness.
“Yes,” she answered.
The man who looked like a bush pilot took a step toward her. His eyes were steel and his face weathered past his years. “You sure she can handle this, Marty? The little lady looks like a frightened mouse.”
The suit raised an eyebrow. “I don’t know about this one, Marty. She looks like she’d break under pressure. You need a bulldog, partner.”
Ronny had had enough. She might not be brave enough to talk to them, but she could try pushing through the line.
Bumping the suit’s shoulder and the hunter’s arm, she darted between them and rushed to the bed. Marty’s smile was all she needed to calm.
His fingers closed over her hand as he said, “She can handle whatever comes along. She made it through you three clowns, didn’t she?”
Ronny could see the pain in his eyes, but Marty smiled at her. “Honey, these are my three best friends. They were with me when I tumbled off the mountain. The one in the jacket is Ross. He thinks he’s the best pilot ever born. Ivan may look dumb in that suit, but he’s the best lawyer Austin has to offer. And last is Glen. He’s half mountain man, but he did manage to make it through med school even after I dropped out and stopped helping him, so we call him Doc. They said they’d come if I ever needed them, so I called.”
“We’re here to try and talk Marty out of his craziest idea yet.” Doc’s voice was low and flavored from the deep South.
“What’s that?” Ronny squeezed Marty’s hand, letting him know she was on his side no matter what the idea.
Ivan, the lawyer, took over. “He says he wants to go home with you, if you’ll have him. Wants to set up housekeeping in Nowhere, Texas.”
Ronny couldn’t speak. She just stared at the three men.
Doc took over again. “He’s rallied the past few days since I’ve seen him. I’ll give you credit for that. And, considering his condition, if the move doesn’t kill him, then his chances aren’t that much different here or in Harmony. If he dies, he’ll die where he wants to be. While he’s living, he’ll be with you.”
“Right. You might want to think about this and join our side of the debate.” Ivan tugged off his suit jacket and stared at Ronny as if he thought she might not be stable. “If he lives longer than expected, you’ll be stuck with him, Miss Logan. Our Marty’s not an easy man to live with when he’s healthy, and when he’s in pain, he’s the devil. We should know. We carried him off the mountain after he broke his back. More than once we considered knocking him out with a right cross. If he wasn’t cussing, he was giving directions and pushing all of us.”
They all three agreed. The doctor picked up the debate. “He’ll need home nursing, round the clock, and machines. More as time goes on and his body begins to shut down. Near as I can tell, all the hospital is doing right now is trying to make his last days as painless as possible. It looks like the doctors and his brother are just waiting.”
“Have you given up on him?” she whispered, knowing that Marty was hearing every word even though he’d closed his eyes.
“No, Miss Logan, we didn’t give up on him on the mountain. It took us three days to get down to him and dig him out, then we lashed our skis together and carried him out. We know Marty like no one else knows him. He’s a fighter. This move may shorten his life, but he’s willing to take that chance. At the worst, it’ll make his last few days happier being with you. At the best, it might add some time, but you got to understand from the first, we’re counting time in days, not weeks.”
“Don’t listen to him, honey,” Marty whispered. “He’s an OB and pediatrician in a little town that makes Harmony look like the big city. Bottom of his class. I’m betting he’s wrong.”
Doc laughed. “I just might be wrong and I wouldn’t have been at the bottom, Marty, if you’d stayed in school. But I’m a realist and don’t believe in lying to a patient or a friend.”
Marty squeezed her hand. “I’m down, Ronny, but not for the count. Not yet. If Doc’s right and I only have a few days, I want to spend it in Harmony with you. But I want to be straight with you from the first. I knew these guys would make sure you understood before you said yes.”
Everyone was silent for a moment as Ronny leaned over Marty. Her kiss on his cheek was all the answer they seemed to be waiting for.
Ivan pulled a paper from his briefcase. “When he stopped e-mailing us last year, the three of us stayed in touch with Marty through Mr. Carleon. I believe we’ve figured out how to make this all happen if it’s what he, and you, Miss Logan, really want. The discussion stops here if you’re not willing to sign these papers.” He straightened. “And as your lawyer, almost, I’d suggest you do not sign. If Marty’s brother gets mad and finds a way to cut him off, you could end up going bankrupt trying to care for him. You wouldn’t be able to work.”
“I’ve got enough money of my own to ride this out,” Marty whispered between clenched teeth.
Ronny thought about it. The only thing she had of value was half of the house her mother lived in. She’d gladly sell it to stay home and care for Marty. “Where do I sign?” She grinned.
“You’ll want to take a few days to think about it,” Doc added in his slow southern tone. “You’d be taking over legal and medical power of attorney for him. We’ll help all we can, but I know his brother. Daniel Winslow won’t make it easy on you.”
She looked at the three men. They were Marty’s true friends. At one time he would have stood equal in strength to them. All three looked like they had doubts about Marty’s plan.
“What do you think, Ross?” she asked the man in the leather jacket. His arms were crossed and he’d been frowning the whole time the other two had talked.
“I think I’d rather live a day near someone I love than a lifetime without them. You’re going to be taking on hard times, girl, but you got to ask yourself how hard it’ll be to walk away.”
Ronny could have kissed the pilot right there in front of everyone. He’d turned the problem around. It wasn’t Marty’s choice or even just what Marty wanted. It was her decision. Her choice. Her life.
Marty didn’t seem to be listening. He’d drifted into the twilight between pain and reality, but his hand still held hers.
“I’ll sign the papers.” There was no pull to walk away. One day, one week, one month, she’d take it. “When can I take him home?”
Ross smiled. “Saturday morning. Doc and I will start for Harmony before dawn by plane. We’ll have a day to make arrangements to get all the right equipment installed and a nurse on call at all hours. He’ll also meet with a local doctor and fill him in on Marty’s condition. If you’ll hand us your keys tomorrow, we’ll have everything set up by the time the ambulance brings him to your place. Marty told us once that the place is not big. We’ll knock out walls if we have to, but we’ll have it ready.”
Ronny tightened her grip on Marty’s hand. “Is this what you really want, to go back to Harmony?”
His answer came in a slight nod and a whisper: “In a perfect world, I’d come home to you.”
“Where do I sign?” she said again. She was no child. She knew what she’d be getting into. A battle to keep him alive. A possible battle with his brother. It wouldn’t be easy, but she had friends who’d help her.
As she moved through the papers, she planned. “I’ll go to work tomorrow and ask for a vacation. I’ve got enough days not to have to worry about working for a while. I’ll move all the furniture into the bedroom and kitchen. You can put his bed and the machines in the living area.”
The three men nodded as if they’d already talked everything out with Marty.
When Mr. Carleon walked her to the waiting Lincoln, he said simply, “If you want to come back tomorrow night, miss, you can ride down with Marty in the private ambulance. Ivan and a medic will be with you and I’ll follow in a van with his personal items. We’ll have you both back in Harmony by one. I’ll stay with you until you feel comfortable and the nurse is satisfactory, but I’d like to get a room nearby. Then I can sit with him some and run errands for you both to make this time easier. Do you have a suggestion where I can stay?”
Ronny couldn’t stop smiling. After all he’d done, he was talking as if they were simply planning to visit. “There’s a bed-and-breakfast close. In fact, Martha Q Patterson owns the duplex I rent. I’m sure she’ll have a room.”
He nodded as he opened the back door for her. “I’ll be in touch with her about the lodging. Try to get some sleep. I’ll send the car tomorrow night.”
“I’ll be waiting. I’d like to ride down with him.”
Ronny turned toward Carleon as she stepped out into the night air. “So, you come with this bargain?”
“I’m afraid so.” He bowed slightly like the butler he probably had been. “I promise no inconvenience on your part. I hope to be of service.”
She leaned over and kissed his cheek. “Thanks. I’m sure you will be a great help.”
He took the kiss with a slight nod and opened her car door. “Until tomorrow,” he said as she slid into the Lincoln.
This time she sat in the dark backseat and cried with joy and fear and hope as the Lincoln pulled away from the hospital.
Marty Winslow was coming back to Harmony.
F
RIDAY
F
OR
THE
FOURTH
DAY
IN
A
ROW
N
EVADA
WOKE
WITH
HER
husband already gone. They were passing in the night, and that deep pit of loneliness she sometimes felt seemed to be settling in again.
She told herself he had the ranch and she had her work. That was the way she’d wanted it from the beginning. He was only following the rules of the bargain. Each called the other a few times a day, but the conversations were short and usually formal, since others were in her office or he had men working nearby. No unnecessary words, never any endearments.
Unbelievably, Nevada could already see changes in the ranch. He’d hired a dozen more men and an independent contractor to repair roads crossing the Boxed B land. Trucks and tractors were on the farm roads now, and more horses were in the main barn. Cattle roamed land she hadn’t seen grazed in years. She’d told him every day to remind the new guys to stay away from her horses. Her mares had their own stable and pastures. She’d handpicked the trainer who drove out from town to work with them every morning. Her one rule was that no one else was ever to go near her horses. Her very sanity depended on it, she sometimes thought.
She wished she could be home to watch over things, but she was needed in the office. Lawsuits were still coming in claiming her father had promised something he hadn’t delivered, or he’d forgotten to pay a bill near the end of his days, but that was not Cord’s problem. It was all hers.
Bryce Galloway had also contacted her, reminding her that he’d be happy to take the ranch off her hands at a rock-bottom price. He could afford to pay more, but he wanted to humiliate her. He thought of her as weak. When he’d left her before her father died and her brother ran, he’d thought she would crumble and come begging to him for help, but instead she’d served him with divorce papers. The divorce was final before she’d inherited the land.
Bryce knew she loved the ranch, and he wanted to hurt her by taking it from her. Almost from the first she’d known that Bryce wanted her, not to love, but to control. Even after two years he still thought she was his to play with and taunt for fun.
None of this was Cord’s problem. She wanted to keep it from him mainly because if he knew she’d married a man like Bryce, he’d think her a spoiled fool who only saw the Galloway money. The reason was far darker. She’d married Bryce and put up with him for months, not out of a need for money, or even love, but simply because she thought she didn’t deserve anything better. He’d reminded her every day he’d lived on the ranch that a tramp like her was lucky he married her. He was good-looking, rich, from a powerful family, and she was simply his.
Nevada had worked hard to prove him wrong. She was worth more, she told herself. She deserved better.
The first Monday after she’d married Cord, she’d made up an explanation as to why she was often late getting home, but Cord had never asked. When she left in the morning she sometimes saw him from a distance, but he was never close enough to speak to. He never kissed her again. She didn’t know whether to be happy or sad about it. She only knew that to protect herself she needed to stay away, not just from Cord, but from all men.
As the days passed, one fact became more and more evident. He hadn’t let her down. Cord was holding up his half of the bargain. She only prayed he would continue to do so if trouble stormed. She could feel problems mounting at the office; she just couldn’t gauge where they might spill over next and who among her staff of thirty might be feeding the fire. Bryce’s lawyers seemed to know where her business was weakest and kept striking with offers to buy or rumors of poor management of her business.
Right now her ex-husband was playing with her like she was no more than a mouse and he was a cat that hadn’t gotten hungry enough to eat her yet. She guessed he hadn’t heard about her marriage to Cord, and to say he wouldn’t be happy was an understatement. Even the day he’d left her, Bryce had sworn he’d be back to take over the ranch. Now, with Cord there, the takeover wouldn’t be as easy as he might have planned.
Cuddling into the warm covers, she forced aside Bryce Galloway and the memory of his fist slamming into her face the last time they’d met and concentrated on Cord. In many ways she thought of him as a simple man, not dumb or backward, but simple in his needs. He worked, he slept, and he ate. That seemed enough. He talked of plans for the ranch and his little farm, but he never mentioned dreams or goals for himself. He didn’t seem to care about how he dressed, but he worried about her eating, like she was a child who might starve if he didn’t pay attention.
She’d never be attracted to a man who didn’t have grand dreams, but she liked the way Cord looked and the polite, almost hesitant way he sometimes acted around her. And, of course, she loved the way he wore the clothes she bought. The way he moved and, most of all, the times when he was perfectly still, as if he’d paused just to treasure something like the morning air, or his first bite of a sandwich, or her as she dressed. A simple man in a complicated world. Life could never be so easy. Not for her.
If it hadn’t been for the kiss and the looks he gave her when he watched her change clothes, she’d think he wasn’t attracted to her. But he had to be. She knew men, and no man looked at a woman like that who didn’t want her. No man kissed like he had without wanting more.
If he was only pretending, he should win an Oscar.
Kicking her way out of the covers, Nevada stretched and leaned her head back to shake her tangled mass of hair behind her. They’d been married a week today. Her plan was working. Galem had kept her up on what was happening. Cord was a hard boss, but the men respected him. He never talked about anything but the ranch and he listened to all suggestions. Zeb Darnell, a loyal hand who’d been fired a few years ago, had now become Cord’s right-hand man. Zeb’s knowledge seemed to fill in the gaps in Cord’s knowledge of ranching.
She had to give Cord credit. He’d shown good sense to hire Zeb.
As she dressed, Nevada wondered if there was any kindness or loving left in Cord. Prison must have been hard. She’d asked Tannon Parker a year ago how Cord was doing at work, and Tannon had said simply that he was a shell of a man. All he did was work, and it didn’t seem to matter if he was on his land or hers; Cord was determined to work himself to death.
Maybe Tannon was right. She’d hoped for a man but got only a shell. She could live with that for eight months. She’d learned she could live with almost anything. Only this time, living with Cord might gain her the one thing she’d never had . . . security. By the first hard freeze she’d be so solid no one would ever take anything from her. No one would hurt her.
When she stepped from her bathroom, she almost collided with the object of her thoughts.
“Cord,” she managed to say as she pulled her blouse around her.
Mud covered one side of his body and his hat was missing. “Didn’t mean to startle you. I took a fall and decided it would be easier to change clothes than to beat myself to death trying to brush off.”
She laughed. “You do look like a mud man.” For the first time in a week she thought he looked adorable, like a big kid who’d rolled in the corral. “How’d you get past Ora Mae?”
“Came in the courtyard door. It’s never locked. Keep your voice down so I can get cleaned up before she sees me.”
“Of course,” she whispered. “I’d hate for my housekeeper to murder you for tracking in mud after I left for work.”
He raised an eyebrow and glanced down at her open blouse. “You don’t look ready to leave.”
She didn’t bother to button the blouse together. “I took the day off. I wanted to work with my horses and I’ve got shopping in town. I thought we could have dinner together tonight if you’ve no other plans.”
“That would be a change.” He began stripping off his clothes and tossing them into the sink.
She leaned against his bathroom door and watched. “Ora Mae says you go through two sets of clothes a day, sometimes three.”
“If I were home I’d just hose off in the yard and drip dry, but I figure you’d be upset. If I stripped outside, Ora Mae would have a heart attack. She thinks I’m not housebroke because I drink out of the cartons of milk and juice, but when I lived alone there wasn’t much need for glasses.”
“I’ll pick up more clothes today. I wouldn’t want everyone seeing you strip.”
“There’s no need. I can make do.”
“I don’t mind. I’ll be in town anyway, and you’re right, I do like the way you look in the clothes I buy.” She hesitated and added, “As well as without them. You’ve got a fine body, Cord.”
He unbuttoned his trousers. “If you don’t turn around, Nevada, you’re about to see the without view right now.”
She didn’t move.
He took the challenge and finished stripping. Once he was in the shower, he yelled, “I expect the same views.”
She laughed. “Dream on.” Even through the glass door she watched the frosted shadow of his frame. He wasn’t all tanned and perfect like a male model. He had muscles hard from work and parts of his body that had never seen sunlight. He had hair on his chest and scars. A scrape ran the length of his arm from elbow to wrist and she guessed he hadn’t simply rolled in the mud when he’d taken the fall.
“You fall off your horse?” she asked as she reached for the first-aid kit.
“No, he actually tumbled out from under me. Zeb talked me into trying his cutting horse, and the mare shifted faster than I could move. I tried to tell Zeb that until a week ago I was a farmer, but those new clothes must have convinced him otherwise.”
“What did he do when you fell off?”
“Laughed over my cussing.”
She heard the shower go off. When he stepped out, he’d pulled a towel around his waist as he kept talking. “I’m thinking of having a long talk with that horse.”
“Put your arm on the counter.”
“It’s nothing.” Cord looked at the scrape, now bubbling fresh blood. “It’ll scab over.”
She blocked his bathroom door and repeated, “Put your arm on the counter.”
For a few seconds they stared at each other, and she wasn’t sure which one would win this argument. She wasn’t even sure why she was fighting. If the man wanted to bleed, let him bleed.
Without breaking his stare, he lowered his arm, scab side up, and she watched the muscles of his arm tighten as she neared.
Nevada dabbed the blood, sprayed antiseptic, and wrapped the scrape from elbow to wrist with first gauze and then tape. “There, that wasn’t so bad. Now at least it will stay clean. You can unwrap it when you get home and let it air.”
She looked up and found him still staring at her.
Feeling very mothering, she shooed him with her hands. “Now go back out and play.”
A slow smile finally tugged his lip up. “I’d better dress first.” He moved to his closet and pulled out the first shirt and jeans he saw.
“I hadn’t noticed,” she lied as she ran across the room. By the time she’d pulled on trousers and her boots, he was gone without another word.
That night at dinner she was still thinking about how good he’d looked nude. They were little more than polite strangers, but they were getting to know one another. He never complained or asked too many questions. He didn’t try to keep up with her or boss her around. This might be the best marriage she’d had so far. Of course, if it lasted eight months it would break a record.
She pushed her food around on the plate as she thought of the morning and how they’d almost been a normal couple for a few minutes.
“I can’t get the windows around this place open,” he said from across the table.
“What?” She realized she hadn’t been listening. “Oh, yes, the windows. You told me.”
“I like to sleep in fresh air, and whoever built this place forgot to buy working windows.”
She thought of telling him that windows were the dumbest dinner conversation subject she’d ever heard. She’d known the man a week and he’d never bothered to ask her what books she liked, or what was her favorite movie, or even who she voted for. At this rate they’d never learn each other. “Well,” she said, trying not to sound bored, “just knock one open.”
“Or we could just move the bed out in the courtyard. There’s plenty of fresh air out there among all those strange flowers.”
“My stepmother, who lasted one summer around here, had the flowers brought in from all over the South. My father wouldn’t let her redecorate the house. I like the courtyard, but I’m not sleeping outside.”
“You are if I do.” His words were a challenge.
“Right. Our bargain. For eight months I sleep with you, right?”
“Right.”
Ora Mae walked in to say she was leaving, and the discussion dropped. He talked about what he’d done on the ranch, and she talked about a problem at the office. Neither understood much of what the other one was saying.
When they went to bed, he sat in a chair by the sealed windows and pulled off his boots as he watched her. She always turned her back to him when she slipped off her bra and tugged on her nightshirt. If he’d asked her to turn around, she told herself she would, but he’d have to ask. Otherwise, she had no intention of putting on a show.