Captain Wentworth's Persuasion (17 page)

“She would indeed. I am almost ashamed to say it.” Louisa met his eyes and gave him a bold triumphant look.

Moved by his thoughts of what might have been with Anne, Frederick spoke from his heart. “Happy for her, to have such a mind as yours at hand!—After the hints you gave just now, which did but confirm my own observations, the last time I was in company with him, I need not affect to have no comprehension of what is going on. I see more than a mere dutiful morning visit to your aunt was in question—and woe betide him, and her too, when it comes to things of consequence, when they are placed in circumstances, requiring fortitude and strength of mind, if she have not resolution enough to resist idle interference in such a trifle as
this.Your sister is an amiable creature, but
yours
is the character of decision and firmness, I see. If you value her conduct or happiness, infuse as much of your own spirit into her, as you can. But this, no doubt, you have always done. It is the worst evil of too yielding and indecisive a character, that no influence over it can be depended on.—You are never sure of a good impression being durable. Everybody may sway it; let those who would be happy be firm.” He was wrapped up in his fervor—all the memories of how Anne had dashed his plans by succumbing to Lady Russell’s advice occupied his mind. It did not occur to him that his words would encourage Louisa’s regard. He praised her for her resolve, not for herself, but as an example of what he wished for Anne.

He was on a roll—he had kept these thoughts secret for so long—he could not hide his passion. Frederick finally had a chance to speak his regrets out loud. “Here is a nut,” said he, catching one down from an upper bough. “To exemplify—a beautiful glossy nut, which, blessed with original strength, outlived all the storms of autumn. Not a puncture, not a weak spot anywhere.—This nut,” he continued, with playful solemnity, “while so many of its brethren fell and were trodden underfoot, is still in possession of all the happiness a hazelnut can be supposed capable of.” Then returning to his former earnest tone,“My first wish for all, whom I am interested in is they should be firm. If Louisa Musgrove would be beautiful and happy in her November of life, she will cherish all her present powers of mind.”

Finished, he waited for Louisa to respond—waited for her confirmation or her refutation of what he said, but he remained unanswered. She reacted to the serious warmth of his tone, but Frederick realized she did not have much depth of understanding of the analogy he made. If he chose Louisa as his companion, it would mean a life where no one would challenge him—no one would
see
him. Louisa would see only his role, his place in society, his accomplishments, and his wealth. Could such an existence bring him satisfaction? He dropped the nut to the ground and, not knowing what else to do, Frederick offered her his arm.

Louisa smiled up at him charmingly, and she and Frederick circled the hedgerow.They walked on in silence before they spotted Mrs. Charles sitting under a shady tree. Louisa nodded toward her brother’s wife, letting her dismay show through her words.“Mary is good-natured enough in many respects, but she does sometimes provoke me excessively, by her nonsense and her pride—the Elliot pride. She has a great deal too much of the Elliot pride.” Frederick silently agreed. “We do so wish Charles married Anne instead.—I suppose you know he wanted to marry Anne?”

Her words shot through Frederick. Nightmares where Anne and Charles walked away from him hand in hand had haunted him for years after the separation. He cleared his throat, and after a moment’s hesitation, said,“Do you mean she refused him?”

Loving gossip, Louisa chattered on. This was a subject upon which she could speak with authority.“Oh!Yes, certainly!”

He did not want to ask the question, but he could not resist the temptation.“When did that happen?”

Louisa smiled; she was in her element. “I do not exactly know, for Henrietta and I were at school at the time; but I believe about a year before he married Mary. I wish she accepted him.We should all like Anne a great deal better; and Papa and Mama always think it was her great friend Lady Russell’s doing, that she did not—they think Charles not to be learned and bookish enough to please Lady Russell, and that, therefore, she persuaded Anne to refuse him.”

Lady Russell again,
Frederick thought.
The woman, obviously, played a role in Anne’s current state.
Frederick was now under the persuasion to believe that in the name of love, she single-handedly ruined Anne’s chances of happiness on two separate occasions. How could the woman refuse Charles Musgrove as a legitimate suitor? He was amiable and kind, and, more importantly, he could give Anne a fine estate in the country. The Musgroves lacked the Elliot lineage, but they were still a dominant element in the local society. Although he hated to admit it, Charles Musgrove would have been a caring husband for
his Anne.
Perhaps—an idea ricocheted through him—perhaps it was not Lady Russell’s decision.
Perhaps—Anne—
his Anne
—had refused Charles Musgrove because of Frederick. She would have been one and twenty by then. She would have been of age.
Is it possible?
He had often wondered whether, if he had come to her in ’08, before he took the
Laconia,
if she would have left with him then.These facts suggested that perhaps—perhaps she would have.

He needed time alone to consider this possibility, so Frederick was happy to see their whole party being immediately afterwards collected and once more in motion together. Charles Hayter, as expected, returned with Musgrove and Henrietta. This time he shook hands with Frederick—evidently, there was a withdrawing on the gentleman’s side and a relenting on the lady’s, and they were now very glad to be together again. They were devoted to each other almost from the first instant of their all setting forward for Uppercross.

As he had been spending time with both ladies equally, Henrietta’s silent declaration for Charles Hayter left everyone to assume Louisa now marked him for her own.
Nothing can be plainer to them all, including Anne
, he thought. How could he renew his addresses to Anne if she thought he favored another? And did he want to renew his addresses? He walked beside Louisa, but his heart took another path. Suddenly, every fiber of his being became aware of Anne. She was tired enough to be very glad of Charles Musgrove’s arm, and Frederick wished it was he to whom she turned.

They crossed a long strip of meadowland—forming distinct parties: Charles Hayter and Henrietta, he and Louisa, Anne and Mary and sometimes Charles Musgrove. Louisa continued to chatter on about the things that interested girls, but her words meant little to him. He responded automatically, allowing her to think as she would. He should distance himself, but that was impossible now; it would have to wait until the next time.

“Catch me!” Louisa demanded as usual, once she climbed to the top of the stile. He did so, but tried to set her some distance away from him when her feet touched the ground again. She purposely clung to his lapels longer than necessary, and he gently
removed her hands before offering her his arm. Before, he had welcomed her interest, but now he saw how he must find a way to curtail her ardor.

The long meadow bordered a lane, which their footpath, at the end of it, was to cross.When the party all reached the gate of exit, they heard a carriage advancing in the same direction and looked up to see Admiral Croft’s gig. Benjamin and Sophia had taken their intended drive and were returning home.

“How far did you walk, Frederick?” his sister inquired once they stopped.

He added casually, “The nearly two miles to Winthrop and back, I suppose.”

“Two miles!” Sophia exclaimed. “Please let us offer one of the ladies a ride back to Uppercross.”

“My sister will share her seat with any lady who might be particularly tired,” Frederick announced to the group.

Henrietta would not leave Charles Hayter. “It is less than a mile,” she pointed out brightly.

Louisa asserted,“I am not tired in any way!”

“I am fine,” Mary said, a little sullenly.

Frederick knew Sophia had offended Mrs. Charles by not asking
her
to ride before any of the
others
. He overheard Louisa whisper close by to Hayter, “Mary would not make a third in a one-horse chaise. It is not grand enough for her.”

At that moment, Frederick saw Anne struggling over the stile between two fields. Without thinking, he walked quickly to the carriage; he leaned in to speak to his sister before he could change his mind.

“What is it, Frederick?” Sophia looked around at the walking party crossing the lane and clamoring over an opposite stile.

“Take Miss Anne,” he whispered in her ear.

Sophia shot him a look of concern. “Are you sure, Frederick? You will center your attention on her?” She spoke so softly no one could hear.

“I have never been more sure of anything.” They kept their counsel close and secret.

Sophia nodded and then raised her head to call out, “Miss Anne, I am sure
you
are tired. Do let us have the pleasure of taking you home. Here is excellent room for three, I assure you. If we were all like you, I believe we might sit four.—You must, indeed, you must.”

Anne was still in the lane and instinctively started to decline.“I assure you, Mrs. Croft, I am well.”

“Please, Miss Anne, humor an old man.You must let us be of service to you.” The Admiral’s kind urgency came in support of his wife’s.

“That is very kind—” Frederick heard Anne begin, but he did not let her finish. He turned to her and quietly obliged her to be assisted into the carriage. One hand rested at the small of her back, and the other held hers tightly as he directed her to the gig and helped her up the step. Beside it, he turned her to him and placed his hands at her waist.

“Frederick?” her mouth moved to say the word, but no sound came out.

A slight smile turned up the corners of his mouth. “Anne,” he whispered close to her hair as he lifted her to the seat. Quickly, he looked away to lessen the attention of his actions. He watched his family compress themselves into the smallest possible space to leave her a corner. He did it. She was in the carriage, and he placed her there; his will and his hands did it. He had recognized her fatigue when the others did not, and he had resolved to give her rest.This little circumstance seemed the completion of all that had gone on before. He understood her. He could not forgive her—but he could not be unfeeling.Though condemning her for the past, still he could not see her suffer without the desire of giving her relief. It was, he told himself, the remainder of former sentiment; it was an impulse of pure, though unacknowledged, friendship. Emotions of compounded pleasure and pain still prevailed.

“Walk on.” The Admiral clucked his tongue to encourage the
horse. Frederick stepped to the side to let them pass, and then he walked back to where the others stood. He chose not to turn around and acknowledge the pull Anne’s presence had on him. If he looked back, he would likely chase down the gig, take her in his arms, and demand she love him once again. Instead, he fell into place beside Louisa to finish their walk to Uppercross Cottage. Maybe when they arrived, he would see Anne again before he returned to Kellynch. Maybe he could speak to her at last without the hurt crowding his heart.

“What happened today, Brother?” Sophia asked as they sat together in the library after supper.“With Miss Anne, that is.” He knew she would ask eventually and wondered why she waited so long.

Frederick looked up from his book and feigned disinterest. “There is nothing to explain; Miss Anne appeared exhausted; I recognized her need.” He turned his attention to the military history volume he grasped loosely in one hand.

Sophia paused before adding. “I observed your exchange with Miss Anne.The others could not see because they were on the far side of the road, but I saw, Frederick.”

“Leave it, Sophia,” he warned.

“Benjamin and I thought you to be interested in the Misses Musgrove,” she mused. His only response was a raised eyebrow; otherwise, he did not even raise his head. “The Admiral told Miss Anne of our abbreviated courtship, claiming that is the way of sailors.”

That captured his interest. “What was Miss Anne’s opinion of your conjectures?”

“She spoke little, but she made herself clear.The woman holds you in some regard. How long have you loved her?”

He frowned.“I shall not honor that question with a response.”

Sophia laughed out loud.“That long, eh?”

“Please do not vocalize your unfounded theory, even to the Admiral. Rumors spread quickly in country society.” Frederick closed his book and walked to the fireplace, leaning his arm and forehead on the mantel as he stared into the flame.

“I do not wish to see you hurt, Frederick,” she observed with a sigh.“But I will leave your heart to its own devices.”

“Then you need to look the other way, Sophia. My heart is fairly bruised and battered already.” With that, he strode from the room, leaving her to imagine the worst.