Captivate, book I of the Love & Lust (14 page)

Twenty

Ashlyn slides her hands down the silky layers of her white bodice, her fingers trembling as nervous tension twists her stomach in knots. It’s not the fancy cocktail dress with its strapless design and flared skirt that makes her uncomfortable, or even the strappy high heels that wind around her ankles. It’s the speech.

What was she thinking agreeing to doing this?

A year ago, Ashlyn was asked to be the keynote speaker at the A. Doyle Foundation gala. At the time, she thought she could handle it, but in all fairness, it had originally been pitched to her as a small gathering. Chairman of the board Rebecca Chambers failed to mention that the invitation list had swelled to over five hundred of Chicago’s elite.

Pacing back and forth, Ashlyn can feel her ankles wobbling. If only they had let her wear her sandals on stage, then she wouldn’t have to fear tripping and making a fool of herself before she even speaks the first word.

“Two minutes,” the backstage director announces. Ashlyn offers a nervous smile and turns away, left alone with her tormented thoughts.

This is going to be an epic fail.
She silently groans, burying her hands in her hair. She squeals, realizing she’s just ruined the updo Sophie worked so hard to create for her this afternoon.

“Sophie,” she whispers as loudly as she dares. She can hear Rebecca doing the opening remarks just on the other side of the velvet curtain. “Get over here!”

Her friend rushes across the stage, careful not to catch her heels in the maze of electrical wires spanning the backstage area. She scrunches her nose with disapproval. “I told you not to touch your hair.”

Sophie digs into her clutch purse and pulls out a handful of pins. She tucks them between her teeth as her fingers begin skillfully weaving Ashlyn’s hair. Ashlyn groans as she feels pins jabbing at her scalp. “You knew I’d forget, didn’t you?”

She nods as she pushes the final pin into place. “My job is to always be prepared, and with you, I have to prepare for several train wrecks.”

“Wow.” Ashlyn smirks. She’s thankful that for a few seconds she can focus on something other than her speech. “If I didn’t love you, I would take great offense to that.”

“It’s not my job to make you like me, Ash. It’s my job to make you look gorgeous.” She grins as she steps back and nods her head with approval. “Looks even better than before.”

“Great. Now at least when the whispers begin to filter through the room about how pathetic I sound, I’ll know they liked my hair.”

“And your dress too.”

Ashlyn looks down at the beautiful dress that clings to her body with perfection. She never would have dreamed she had the curves to fill out a dress like this, but even she has to admit she looks pretty darn good in it.

Sophie leans in close and nudges Ashlyn with her elbow. “Who knows? You might manage to snag some stud muffin to dance with later.” Ashlyn’s cheeks flood with heat and Sophie laughs. “Works every time.”

“Vixen,” Ashlyn mutters as she steps back and grabs her notecards off a stack of boxes beside her. She ignores the bottle of water, knowing if she puts anything on her stomach now, she’ll risk losing it all over the podium. “And who the heck says stud muffin nowadays?”

“I do. I think it’s going to come back into style.”

Ashlyn laughs. “No. That one needs to stay dead and buried, forever.”

“Miss Doyle?”

Her throat clenches off as she turns to see the stage manager has returned. “Already?”

The brunette nods, offering a compassionate smile. Everyone at the foundation knows how terrified Ashlyn is of large crowds. “You’ll do great.”

“I second that,” Sophie says, reaching out to squeeze Ashlyn’s arm. “Keep it short and sweet. Just remember, this isn’t about them. It’s about the kids.”

Taking a steadying breath, Ashlyn nods and follows the stage manager to the break in the curtain. She takes three deep breaths and then steps through when Rebecca calls her name.

It’s hard to see against the spotlights that flood her vision as she emerges onto the fifteen-foot stage. Three chairs sit off to her right. Two of which hold the other board members who were asked to speak before her.

Ashlyn gives them each a tight grin and approaches the podium. Rebecca is all smiles, looking gorgeous in her floor-length sequined dress. Her golden hair falls in a straight and glossy cascade over her shoulder. A strand of diamonds graces the curve of her neck.

“Speak into the microphone and don’t lock your knees,” she whispers as she leans in to give Ashlyn a hug.

Dozens of tips race through Ashlyn’s mind as Rebecca steps behind her and moves to the empty seat. She sets her notecards down on the clear podium and clears her throat, wincing at how loudly it echoes through the room.

Her grip tightens on the edge of the podium as she fights to control her mounting fear. “I, uh…” She clears her throat again. “Most of you know that I sort of suck at speeches.”

A low smattering of laughter ripples through the room.

“And I’m not the most eloquent of people, so I promise to make this short and painless.” She shifts on her feet and pauses to chew on her lower lip. Every eye in the room is fixed on her. It’s hard to breathe or think past the sweat pooling in her underwire bra.

She looks down and shifts her cards. The words blur in front of her and she panics.

At the sound of a scraping chair, Ashlyn looks up to see a small girl leaving her mother’s side. Her little dress shoes clomp on the stairs as she climbs onto the stage. Ashlyn can hear the girl’s mother hissing at her to get off the stage, but she waves off the concerned mother, finding herself completely enraptured by the little girl’s smile.

In her small hand, she clutches a piece of paper. When she stops before Ashlyn, the girl holds it out for her to take. “Thank you,” she whispers as she accepts the gift.

Opening it, Ashlyn’s breath catches at the beautiful drawing of a woman and child holding hands. At the top is a rainbow, complete with a sun and clouds and the legible words: “Thank You.”

Tears spill down Ashlyn’s cheeks as she sinks to her knees and opens her arms wide. The girl rushes into her arms and crushes her.

“Thank you, Abby. This the best gift I’ve even been given.” Dazzling blue eyes twinkle up at her as she pulls back. “Think you can help me for a few minutes?”

Abby’s mass of loose auburn curls bounce as she nods. Ashlyn takes her hand and stands to face the crowd. A hush has fallen over the attendees. Ashlyn hopes that’s a good sign.

Removing the microphone from the podium, she steps to the side so everyone can see the beautiful girl at her side. “I would like you all to meet Abby Maldoni. I first met Abby a year ago at Alcott Elementary on the outskirts of Chicago. She’d just turned five and was behind in both her writing and language skills, but boy did she have one heck of an amazing smile.”

Ashlyn looks down to see Abby flashing that same exact smile at the crowd. She can see numerous returned smiles and a few damp eyes. “Abby was a normal girl in a normal classroom, but she was falling behind. Our classes today are overpopulated; our teachers are run ragged trying to keep up with the ever-growing demands. Funding doesn’t arrive when it is needed and most of the children just like Abby are falling through the cracks.”

She reaches out and takes Abby’s small hand in her own. “A year ago, Abby couldn’t have written me this card, but today she handed me the greatest gift ever… hope.”

A slow round of applause begins to filter through the crowd, but Ashlyn presses on. “Your donations tonight won’t help just one child, but hundreds in the surrounding area. You can help fund after-school tutors to help children learn to read and write, help create support groups for parents with tools to aid them in their homes, and give Abby and so many others the confidence they need to excel.”

Ashlyn sinks down and gives Abby a huge hug before sending her back to her mother. She can see tear streaks of gratitude on Abby’s parents’ faces that gives Ashlyn the courage to continue.

“Tonight isn’t about the fancy food, the expensive dresses, or even about how terrible my dancing will be after this is over.” She pauses for the laughter. “This foundation was created out of need, but it will be supported by your love. Will you help me change lives?”

A loud clap begins at the very back of the room and quickly flows toward the front. Chairs shift as people rise to their feet in a rousing applause. Sophie sits on the front row, whistling loudly in approval.

Ashlyn steps back, shocked by the response. Did she really just pull this off?

Never in her wildest dreams could she have imagined a feeling such as this. A complete and humble acceptance of this applause. Not for herself, but for the cause.

Please let them see how special these kids are
, she silently prays as she nods her head in thanks.

Rebecca steps up and gives Ashlyn a hug. “That was even better than I could have hoped for.”

Ashlyn laughs and steps back to show her how shaky her hands still are. “I made it.”

“You did more than that.” Rebecca grins, waving her hand out toward the audience. “You did this.”

A tingly warmth spreads along her chest and down into her belly as Ashlyn offers a small wave of acknowledgement before turning and escaping back to her assigned chair. Her chest rises and falls as she fights to still her nerves. She did it! She really did it.

Twenty-One

Slade weaves his way through the crowd, stunned by the beautiful woman dancing less than fifteen feet away. Her cheeks are flushed with excitement and her hair has fallen from its pins, giving her a far more natural look.

Ashlyn hasn’t stopped smiling since she completed her speech, and what a speech it was. Even he felt moved to donate everything he had in his pocket to the cause.

How did she do it? It didn’t take a genius to see how terrified she was on that stage. Until that little girl approached her, he was sure Ash would race off and hide in the corner, just like he found her in the hall in Las Vegas, but she didn’t. She not only captivated the entire crowd, but she made it personal.

As she spoke, he couldn’t help but think about his primary school back in England. His teacher had been less than cooperative when his mother tried to seek out help when he struggled to learn to read. It wasn’t really her fault; she was just too busy with the other children to give him special attention. Slade’s mother hadn’t had the money to spare to hire a tutor, so they did the best they could.

Looking back now, it really does make sense why Slade never enjoyed reading. It wasn’t that he couldn’t read, but it was a struggle. His letters liked to flip in his head, teasing him. Reading aloud was the worst.

And now, dancing before him is the most amazing woman he’s ever met. Not only is she kind and thoughtful, but she has a heart for children to surpass any that he has ever met.

“Mind if I have this dance?” He taps a gentleman on the shoulder and smiles back at Ashlyn’s shocked gaze.

“Of course. It’s been a pleasure.” The older man, with salt-and-pepper hair and neatly groomed mustache, lightly places a kiss on the back of her hand before passing her over to Slade.

“What are you doing here?” she asks as he turns her and leads her back onto the dance floor. He places his hand on her waist and draws her close.

He can tell by the stiffness of her spine under his hand that she’s confused. “You look stunning in that dress, Ash.” He smiles, letting his gaze fall over the lace bodice and the black sash tied about her slender waist.

He can nearly span her entire back with his hand. She feels dainty in his arms, but he knows there’s an inner strength within her that would make a giant cringe. He would sorely like to see that more often.

A blush clings to her chest as she drops her gaze. “You didn’t answer my question.”

“Do you want the long or short answer?”

She thinks it over for a moment, effortlessly keeping up with the beat of the music. “Short, I think.”

“I was worried about you.”

Her eyes widen with surprise. “I never asked you to… You shouldn’t,” she stammers.

“I wanted to, so here I am.” His grip tightens on her back as the tempo rises and he moves them around the dance floor, twirling among a rainbow of colorful dresses.

 
He can feel her gaze drifting over him, assessing his response. When he meets her stare, she quickly flits away.

“Why do you do that?”

“Do what?” She turns and looks to the people surrounding her, her focus fixed firmly away from him.

“Avoid me.”

Her shoulders tense and her steps falter just enough to nearly topple them over. Slade compensates for her weight and saves them at the last second. With his heart pounding in his ears, he takes her hand and leads her off the dance floor and toward an unoccupied table. “I’m not… I don’t avoid you.”

“Really?” He holds out a chair for her and leans over to pour a glass of water. He holds it out for her, waiting for her to finally look up at him. He can almost feel her fear as she takes the glass from his hand. When she goes to take a long drink, he can see the way the glass trembles in her hand.

“It’s okay,” he whispers, leaning in close.

The bitterness in her laugh surprises him as she pulls out of his reach. She sinks back into the chair and set the drinks aside. Once her hands are free, she begins to fiddle with the black sash about her waist. “No. It’s not.”

Watching the expressions that dash across her face, he suddenly wonders if coming here was a very bad idea. He had hoped to surprise her and that she would be happy to see him, but now he’s not so sure. “I didn’t mean to upset you.”

When she looks up, he sees tears glistening in her eyes. “It’s not you. It’s me.”

She sighs and curls her legs up under her in a crossed position. He glances around to make sure no one else sees this inappropriate posture, but he quickly realizes it shouldn’t matter. This is who Ashlyn is, and she shouldn’t change that just to impress the people in this room.

 
Her hair falls about her face as she speaks. “I know what you think about me. That I’m some fragile thing that’s wound so tight she’s about to break apart, and you know what? You’re right.”

Slade watches the trembling in her hands as she stares at her lap. “Sophie and Tamsin are the closest things I have to friends, and I don’t even really know them. We work together, go on business trips together, but they have never been to my house or even gone to a movie with me.”

She takes a deep breath before continuing. This time she lifts her gaze to stare at him head on. “I don’t have a single friend that I could call close, and I like it that way.”

He leans forward, perching on the edge of his chair. The music shifts, slowing in tempo, but he hardly notices. “If that’s true, then why do you look so miserable right now?”

A single whimper passes her lips before she shuts it down. “Because I can’t let myself have anything else.”

“Why not?”

Ashlyn looks away, wiping unfallen tears from her eyes. His stomach clenches at the sight of her unhappiness. “I don’t trust the world. It has hurt me too many times, so now I avoid it.”

Slade sighs, shaking his head. “That isn’t a life, Ash.”

“I know,” she whispers. She reaches out for her glass but clutches it in her lap, almost as if she just needed the security of something to hold.

“I don’t want to hurt you,” he says. “I’m sorry if my coming here has upset you, but I’m not sorry for coming. You were brilliant up there. To see your passion, to hear you speak… it was smashing.”

A tiny smile cracks through her gloom. “Really?”

“Yes.” He leans in a bit closer, waiting for her to look up at him. “I know you have things the way you want them in your life, and I’m fine with that, but you need to know that I think you are kinda special. I’d like to be friends, if you think that would be all right.”

Friends?
Slade fights to keep the sudden urge to frown from showing through.
Is that really all I want with this beautiful woman sitting before me?

Slade can feel the desire for more beginning to birth within his mind. His need to protect this fragile woman has begun to shift into something more tangible, something completely out of his league.

Ashlyn laughs and grabs a napkin to dab at her eyes. “I think I’d like that.”

Her tentative smile makes his skin tingle with warmth. “I know you need time, and I’m okay with that. I just want you to know that I’m here if you need me.”

She starts to rise but then looks back at him. He can see her distrust inching back in. “Why are you doing this?”

Her question catches him off guard, but no more so than the raw yearning in her voice that fuels it. “Maybe I like helping neurotic women?”

He’s instantly awarded with a tentative smile and silently cheers. Being around Ashlyn is like night from day. At times she can be so fiercely demanding and abrupt, but other times, those special moments when she lowers her walls just enough for him to peek over, he sees a beautiful girl who has yet to be unsoiled by the carnal desires of the world.

“Think I can charm another dance out of you before the evening is over?”

She laughs and shrugs. “I’ll have to think about it.”

He watches as she shifts away, making a beeline straight for Tamsin’s agent, Sophie. As he sinks back into the chair, he can’t help but wonder if a girl like Ashlyn could ever fancy a guy like him.