Captivation: Shifters Forever Worlds (Shifters Forever After Book 4) (2 page)

T
he baby was not stillborn
.

Panther shifter Carina put the documents on the coffee table in front of her. She’d read them three times. And three times she found the same answer.

Her panther roared in her head, the sound more like a cry of pain.

My baby was not stillborn.

Years now, she had been living a lie. This was not a lie of her own creation. This was a lie of deception.

I have a daughter.

Why did they lie to her?

She really had a daughter. Somewhere out there in the world, Carina had a daughter. She wondered what the little girl looked like. Would she look like her? Would she have the dark eyes and dark hair that Carina, Cadence, and Laken had?

Or would she look like her father? Carina pushed that thought away. She did not want to think of her baby's father. What happened between them was not consensual.

She was young, and he took advantage. The result was a baby. Carina carried the baby full term, facing the embarrassment of having to tell her grandparents. Living with their scorn, she went to the hospital when she was in labor and delivered a baby.

She had been heartbroken when she was told the baby was not born alive. Carina tried to remember that day. None of it would come back. They'd given her medicine and everything was a fog. Everything—her daughter's birth, being told she was not alive, not even getting to see her.

Carina sighed and rose to her feet, walking to the large window that faced the lake.

She was in her grandparents' home, a cabin set high in the mountains, checking on the property, preparing it for the realtor. The beautiful greenery, so vivid and so alive, was almost a mockery, reminding her how dead she'd felt inside for so many years knowing her baby was dead. The serene home she grew up in suddenly felt like a prison.

Why did her grandparents lie to her?

She fought the urge to look at the documents again. She really didn't need to see them. She'd memorized the words. The image was burned into her mind. The paperwork said the baby was born alive, adopted. Carina clenched her hands into fists so tight that her nails dug into her flesh. Even that pain could not dull the agony of the betrayal.

Now what?

A part of her almost wanted to share this, another part of her wanted to selfishly hold the knowledge close to her heart.

She couldn't tell Laken. This wasn't the sort of thing discussed on the phone. Laken and Malachi were in South America on another of their missions.

Carina wasn't as close to Laken anyway. She was much closer to Cadence. And yet, as close as she was to her, Carina wanted to keep this secret. She wanted to absorb the entirety of knowing that somewhere in the world, she had a daughter.

I wonder what they named her. I wonder what she's like.

Maybe she didn't have to wonder. Maybe she could find out. She knew it would be a struggle to keep from wanting to have her daughter with her, but if she were in a happy home, maybe Carina could simply live with that.

Maybe she
should
talk to someone. Get this off her chest. She wondered who she could talk to.

Carina jumped when her cell phone vibrated in her back pocket. She looked at the screen.

Miriam Romanoff.

A frown came to her face. Miriam, why didn't she think of her? She’d be the perfect one to talk to.

The wife of Mikhail, Miriam Romanoff. Of course. Carina had witnessed firsthand what an amazing woman Miriam was, as well as an amazing almost-mother-in-law to Carina’s sisters.

Maybe I should talk to her about this.

Miriam had practically adopted Carina, called her an honorary family member. Carina thought of the other person Miriam called the same.

Bain Kozlov.

She fought the sensations that flowed through her at the thought of Bain. Ever since she saw that hunky polar bear shifter with a wide chest and clear blue eyes, Carina had been in a bucket load of trouble. She tried to convince her panther to relax. When Bain walked into a room, her panther would become restless, growling and snarling, pacing Carina's mind. No matter how much Carina insisted, her panther persisted.

Bain.

Bain, who always appeared for Sunday dinners at Miriam and Mikhail's with bruises on his face and scrapes on his knuckles. Bain, whose smile appeared immediately, lighting up a room. Bain, who made her pulse race, her nerve endings sizzle, and her stomach knot.

Carina found herself missing the mountain of a polar bear shifter.

Bain didn’t attend dinner last Sunday because he was in Bear Canyon Valley visiting his nephew Dominic.

Oh yes, Bain’s presence had been missed at the dinner table with the Romanoffs. Everyone but Carina had commented on how much he livened up the atmosphere. Carina kept her observations to herself. She knew her non-poker face would give her away.

The phone rang again, jarring her from her thoughts of Bain. She swiped to answer the phone.

“Are you still out of town?” Miriam asked.

“I'm coming back this afternoon.”

“What is it? Something's wrong, isn't it?”

How the hell did she know? “No. Yes. Well...” Carina didn't know what to say. “I learned something.”

“You're coming to dinner tonight.” Miriam did not even pose that as a question.

“No, I…”

“I'll see you as soon as you get into town. We won't eat until you get here.” Her tone brooked no argument.

I
n Bear Canyon Valley
, in the comfort of Mae’s spacious home, Bain looked out the panoramic view before him. The relaxing mountains behind the valley, the sleepy town Bear Canyon Valley shifters lived in.

He breathed out a sigh of contentment. This was the epitome of a place to grow up. An ideal place to raise a child. Specifically, a shifter child among other shifters in a town that would protect that child. It was a good place for his brother’s son Dominic.

The aroma of Mae's cooking was a delight to Bain's senses. Then again, he was a bachelor, and the thing usually on his senses was take-out pizza. And beer, couldn't forget the beer.

“Smells good, Mae.” He eyed the pot. “Looks like you have enough to feed an army, though.”

Mae, curvy and voluptuous, her dark hair pulled back, looked up from the pot and paused her stirring. “Didn't I mention that Tanner and Teague are coming over?”

Bain's eyes narrowed. “Sure didn't.”

Mae looked a little sheepish, her cheeks a little bit pinker, probably with chagrin. “They eat a lot.” She turned back to her cooking.

Bain noticed she was avoiding the topic, that topic being Tanner and Teague Navarro. Specifically, Tanner, who stood before the shifter Supreme Court, accused of killing Bain's brother Vey. Accused, but not convicted.

Bain had no hard feelings about the matter. He had no false illusions about what his brother was, or what his brother had done, at least when they'd been together in New York. He did wonder what transpired here in Bear Canyon Valley.

And then it dawned on him, that's why Mae looked embarrassed. She did have a reputation for matchmaking, and though this wasn't a romantic matchmaking, Bain sensed she was hoping to smooth the waters between the Navarro brothers and himself.

Bain had heard that Mae had a run-in with Vey, too.

“Mae, I hate to bring up an uncomfortable topic.”

Her gaze rose again, she put the spoon on a ceramic holder on the stovetop, took a paper towel, and blotted tiny dots of perspiration from her forehead.

She approached him at the table, then he rose to pull out a chair for her.

“What topic is it that concerns you?”

“Well, I guess I heard you had a run-in with my brother.”

Her eyes flashed an indigo color. The blue hue flared, then subsided. He knew what that was. Her elemental coming to the surface.

Mae nodded. “You heard correctly.”

“I suppose first, I want to apologize for that, and then do you mind telling me about it?”

A look of sadness crossed Mae's face.

“We don't have to.” Now Bain felt bad for bringing it up.

Although the sadness had left Mae's face, the smile she gave him still carried a tinge of melancholy. “One day, when I was in the forest here in Bear Canyon Valley, I came across a polar bear. I guess I wasn't really paying attention for him to catch me off guard like that. I'll be honest with you, his roar scared the heck out of me.”

Bain nodded. He was used to his brother's scare tactics.

“I was afraid he was going to kill me. My elemental was not going to stand by and watch that. I didn't want her to hurt him. I asked him to shift so we could speak. But it looked like he was more into playing intimidation games.” The blue swirl flared in her eyes again.

He felt bad for putting her through this, knowing the pain was bringing her elemental forward, knowing her elemental might even try to protect her from the pain of her emotions.

“We can drop it.” Again he tried to veer away from the topic to minimize her discomfort.

“No. You need to know. He shifted while he was behind a tree, because he came out as a man. Your brother was a very large man. Very scary. That long blond hair of his, those dark blue eyes, he looked like Thor of Norwegian lore.”

Bain knew. “We got that a lot.” Bain didn't so much anymore, not since he cut his hair.

“He said his name was Vey and asked mine. He said he was looking for someone like him. I knew, somehow, instinctively perhaps, that he was looking for another polar bear shifter. And the only one I knew was little Dominic.

“It didn't take me long to realize little Dominic favored him. And Vey kept coming closer and closer.” She tucked a stray curled back. “I told him this wasn't a polar bear community, because I didn't want to lie, but I wasn't about to tell him where Dominic was.

“Then he shifted and rushed me. So my elemental attacked.” She covered her eyes with her hands. “I'm ashamed to admit I blacked out. That was my experience with your brother.”

Bain reached across the table and took her hands in his. “I'm sorry you had to go through that, then and now. I had no right to make you relive it.”

Mae reached around the table and gave him a hug. “I'm so glad Dominic has you in his life.” Tears glistened in her dark eyes, and the blue flame had become a ring that surrounded her black irises, glowing and indigo color.

A knock at the door interrupted him before he could express his appreciation.

* * *

T
anner sopped
up the last of Mae's stew with her homemade bread. “You missed your calling. You should have opened a restaurant instead of a hair salon.”

Mae laughed. “We saying I can't do hair?”

Tanner, Teague, and Bain joined in the laughter.

“No,” Tanner said. “I'm saying you do food mighty damn fine.”

“Sure do. Thanks for dinner,” Teague said.

Bain nodded his appreciation. He'd had dinner with the two brothers and Mae. The dinner had not been uneasy, but Bain's mind had been. He couldn't get his head to push away the fact he needed to talk to these brothers. That he wanted to know about Vey's last moments. He wanted to know what happened.

“So,” began Teague, “knowing you, Mae, there is always an agenda. So what's the plan?”

“Moi?” Mae wore an innocent expression on her face.

“Yes, you.” Tanner softened his words with a smile.

“I know Bain has questions. And you are the only ones who can tell him the answers.”

Bain nodded. “About that day…”

“That day…” Teague began.

“Let me tell it,” Tanner said. “Your brother was here to kill Marti and Dominic. He talked about the night…” Tanner swallowed, and fisted his hands. “The night he raped Marti. He got ugly and very personal.” Tanner rose to his feet and began to pace about the room.

Nobody rushed him. It was his story to tell, and not an easy one, that was clear. “I wanted to control my emotions. I tried my damnedest. Teague didn't get in the middle of it. It was a fair fight.” He stopped in front of Bain, locked eyes with him. “This is no excuse, but I think your brother had a death wish. I think he wanted… to die.”

“I… Well…” Bain did not know what to say.

“Forgive me, please.” Tanner's eyes were filled with pain and sincerity.

Bain did not know what to say. He was not one who advocated killing others, but he understood that sometimes there were circumstances that necessitated it.

“I'm happy you're the father Dominic needs.” That's all he could think to say. He'd spent several days with these people, he knew they were good, and he knew they would not kill without good cause. They had opened their homes, their arms, and their hearts to him, and they made sure he was included in Dominic's life.

C
arina stood
on the Romanoff stoop. She was a soaking mess. She couldn't find a place in the parking garage across the street. She finally lost her patience and parked down the block. That's when it started pouring. And she had no umbrella.

Miriam opened the door, took one look at her, and yanked her inside. “Oh my God, you look like you've lost your best friend, your puppy, and fell into a deep well.” She peeled Carina's jacket off. “Let's get you into a nice warm shower. I have clothes you can borrow in the guest bedroom.”

After second servings of the best meal Carina believed she'd ever had, she pushed her chair back, and took a deep breath, straining the waist of her pants. “Thank you. I needed that.”

“Seems you need something else, judging from the look in your eyes.” Mikhail blew on his coffee.

Carina debated. Did she really want to tell anyone about it? Did she really want to be judged? She looked in Miriam's face. Then she looked at Mikhail's expression. This couple had practically adopted her sisters and her. But she didn't want anyone else listening into the conversation. “Where's Alannah?” She looked around, as if expecting her to show up.

“She's out,” Miriam said. “She spending the night with Fiona and Jonah. We have all the privacy we need.”

Carina gave her a look of appreciation.

Mikhail cleared his throat. “Do you need more privacy?”

Carina was going to say yes, it was on the tip of her tongue, but something stopped her. Maybe her panther. “No. Please stay.”

And so she told the story. The whole unvarnished and ugly story. Except to Carina, it wasn't ugly, just heartbreaking. Doubly so, because now she knew she had a daughter and did not know where she was. She took a bite of the New York cheesecake with raspberry sauce.

“That's it,” she said. “That's all of it.”

Miriam looked at Mikhail. “You can make this right. You can help.”

Carina snapped her head in her direction. “What do you mean?”

“I can find her,” Mikhail said with confidence.

“It's true.” Miriam put her hand over Mikhail's. “If anyone can, Miki can.”

Mikhail raised a brow at her. “Shame on you. Calling me that in front of others.”

Miriam giggled, her eyes twinkling.

The merriment was not enough to lighten Carina's burden.

“Take heart,” Miriam said with a smile. “I'm sure within twenty-four hours, he will know exactly where your daughter is.”