Captive Heart (15 page)

Chapter 22

Thayne watched as the ceremonial pipe made its way around the circle.
At least the government hasn’t taken
that
from the Lakota,
he thought, studying the elders as each took his turn. Lone Wolf had presented Thayne’s ideas, and heated discussion—both for and against—had followed. Thayne realized he hadn’t solved any of their problems, but he was grateful to have at least conveyed possible solutions. If nothing else, perhaps he’d brought hope for the future.

Outside the lodge where they were gathered, Thayne glimpsed Red Hawk beckoning to him. Out of respect, Thayne looked to Lone Wolf for permission to leave. The older man frowned at Red Hawk and shook his head. She retreated, and Thayne’s attention returned to the men surrounding him and his son, asleep in his arms.

Thayne knew the other men considered it strange that he had not yielded the care of Joshua to Red Hawk, Emma, or any of the other women in camp. But after being separated from his son so long, Thayne was more than reluctant to let him go. Before bringing Joshua here, he’d nearly lost him—twice. It was both difficult and unwise to forget those times—or to ignore the possibility that they might happen again.

Thayne stroked Joshua’s damp hair away from his brow as he thought of all he still had to explain to Emma and all he was asking her to do for him. In truth, he was hoping for a worker of miracles much more than a schoolteacher. He worried over her reaction when she realized the depth of his problems, plans, and hopes. He decided tomorrow was soon enough to speak with her. Hopefully, she had enjoyed the day free of travel as much as he, but since this morning, he had seen her only from a distance, wearing new moccasins and helping some of the other women carry water.

Lone Wolf looked up at the doorway again. Thayne followed his gaze and saw that Red Hawk had returned.

“Red Hawk is worried about She Who Cries Much,” Lone Wolf said. His mouth twisted in a smile. “Perhaps I was generous in saying she would last two moons. Maybe you should reconsider my offer before you leave tomorrow.”

“Are you speaking of Emma?” Thayne asked, looking from Lone Wolf to Red Hawk. “She doesn’t cry much—in fact, I can’t remember her crying at all since I’ve known her.” He returned Lone Wolf’s grin. “She gets angry.”

Lone Wolf shook his head. “Not the woman you brought here today. Go and see for yourself. It is troubling Red Hawk.”

Thayne lifted Joshua to his shoulder and rose from the ground. He left the lodge, following the silent woman as she wove through camp, past fires, food boxes, and sleeping dogs. Above them, the half-moon lit their path.

After several minutes, she stopped in front of a lodge that was set apart from the others. Pulling the buffalo hide back, she indicated Thayne should enter. He nodded his thanks, then ducked inside, still holding Joshua close to his chest.

The covering fell back over the entrance, leaving them in near dark. Thayne blinked, then waited patiently for his eyes to adjust. Across the space, he heard soft, unmistakable crying.

“Emma?”

He moved quickly toward the bed of furs he saw along the opposite wall. He made out Emma’s shape, curled in a ball, draped in the pale yellow gown, moccasined feet sticking out at one end, a tangle of honey hair at the other.

“Emma,” he said again, touching her gently.

She jumped up, backing herself as far away from him as possible. Even in the dim light he could see her eyes were puffy and her face was red from crying.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, alarmed at her appearance.

“Thayne?”

He heard relief in her voice, but it was quickly followed by a fresh spurt of tears. She pulled her knees up to her chest and buried her head in her arms, sobs wracking her body. Thayne moved closer.

“Are you hurt?”

Her crying grew louder.

“Did someone frighten you? Tell me what happened.” Thayne juggled Joshua to a better position and reached for her with his free hand. He touched her arm.

She didn’t pull away, nor did she cease her weeping. Uncertain what to do, Thayne decided to wait her out. Sooner or later, she’d run out of tears and have to talk to him.

He felt suddenly guilty that he’d left her alone all day. Before their arrival, she’d made it clear that Indians terrified her. He’d hoped his story had eased her fears somewhat, but thinking about it now, it probably hadn’t been such a good idea to tell her about getting shot by an arrow and stabbed by the same people they were staying with. Maybe the part where he’d been cared for and everything turned out all right hadn’t really sunk in.

He remembered the children’s curiosity this morning, and he wondered if she’d spent the day having her hair and dress mauled by children and adults alike.
What a fool I am,
he chastised himself.
She’ll be in a fine mood now to learn the details and difficulties of her new pupil.

Waiting for Emma to stop crying took longer than he anticipated, but finally—just when he was starting to nod off himself—her tears dried up. She lifted her head and looked at him with red-rimmed eyes.

“I’m sorry for leaving you alone all day,” Thayne said.

“I thought you’d left for good.”

He frowned. “Why would you think a thing like that?”

“Because it would be easier for both of us.” She took a deep, shuddering breath.

“What are you talking about, Emma?”

“I understand now.” She tried to smile but wasn’t quite successful. “I understand, and I forgive you. I would have done the same thing in your place.”

“You would?” Thayne asked, perplexed. He was starting to think the stress of the trip had finally gotten to her—just when he needed her most. The arm holding Joshua had fallen asleep, so Thayne carefully moved him to the other side. When he looked up again, he caught Emma bestowing a tender gaze on them both.

“I never imagined you had a son. He’s beautiful.” She reached out to touch Joshua’s cheek. “And I’m so glad he’s safe—oh, Thayne, the anguish you must have felt these past weeks, knowing Indians held him hostage.”

“Hostage
? I brought Joshua here for protection.” Thayne’s eyes met hers, full of questions.

“I don’t understand—I thought—” Tears welled again, and she looked away.

Oh no.
“You thought what?” Thayne asked quietly. He brought a hand to her chin, tipping her face up to his.

“Isn’t—wasn’t your son some sort of ransom until you brought the Lakota me—a teacher—in exchange?”

“I told you that very first day you weren’t going to be a trade.” He searched her face, trying to see if she remembered. “I take it you didn’t believe me.”

She shook her head. “You said a lot of things, many of which pointed to my staying here. You told me I needed to teach language and speech. If not the Lakota, then who
am
I to teach?”

Thayne sighed and brought his hand to his head, running his fingers through his hair. “This
whole
time you’ve thought I was bringing you here to stay with the Indians?”

“Yes. Why do you think I kept trying to escape?”

“If that’s what you thought, then why did you
stop
trying to run off?”

She shrugged and looked away. “You convinced me to trust you.” Her lip trembled. “I told myself you’d make sure I was safe, and you
had
promised I could go home when the task was done. I really thought I could be brave, but then today I saw you with your son, and I thought you’d left and gone home to your family and I was all alone.” Her hands came up, and she buried her face in them, shoulders shaking as she began to cry again. It was not a slight, feminine cry but a ghastly wail, followed by great gulping sobs.

Astounded at what she’d just said, by what she’d believed all this time, Thayne sat in shock for a few seconds before his protective instinct kicked in. He laid Joshua at the end of the fur bed and gathered Emma in his arms.

“Emma.” He stroked her hair. “I’m sorry. I should have told you everything at first. I should have trusted you with the truth about Joshua, the same way you trusted me.” He pulled her closer. She clung to his sleeves, soaking the front of his shirt with her tears. Thayne didn’t care. It was the least he deserved. With her fear of Indians, what a hellish three weeks she must have suffered.

She lifted her face to his. “
Why
am I here?”

“My son,” he began, then looked over at Joshua, asleep. “I need you to teach my son.”

She looked confused. “He’s little more than an infant, Thayne. School is years away for him.”

“He’ll be two next month,” Thayne said. “And I’m expecting—
hoping
—you’ll be able to perform a miracle.”
A
few of them, actually.
He rushed on before she could interrupt or he could lose his courage. “Joshua doesn’t talk—ever. He doesn’t babble or make cooing noises. He can’t walk or crawl or play as a child his age should. Other than the way he looks, there’s not much about him that is—normal.”

Thayne held his breath, surprised at how anxious he felt about her reaction. Emma pulled away from him and wiped the last of the tears from her face.

“His mother?”

“Gone.” Thayne knew he should tell Emma all of it, but he couldn’t bring himself to do that right now. Revealing Joshua’s abnormalities was difficult enough. Telling her what the woman he’d loved had done was more than he could bear at the moment. “I tried working with Joshua myself, but it was all I could do to keep him fed and dry and carry him around all day while I tended to the chores. I can’t raise a boy myself and care for a farm and livestock. And I knew Joshua wasn’t right. I knew he needed someone special to help him.”

“So you went searching for a teacher on the train?” Emma shook her head in disbelief. “I attended school at the Academy for Young Ladies in Boston. Along with reading and arithmetic, we studied things like serving tea and making polite dinner conversation. I don’t suppose those areas of expertise will do either of us much good.” She rose from the bed and stood facing him.

“Conversation might,” Thayne said.
Shoulda had
this
conversation with her about three weeks ago. Of course, then she wouldn’t have come.

“There was never a class about helping children who don’t walk or talk.” Emma looked at Thayne, tears glistening in her eyes once more. “I’m not the miracle worker you were hoping for.”

“I’m just asking you to try.” He hated the pleading in his voice, but keen disappointment filled him. She was telling him no, rejecting his boy, just as Christina had.

Emma stood there a moment longer, then walked around Thayne and knelt beside Joshua.

“You brought me
all
this way—to care for your little boy?”

“I did.” Thayne felt a flicker of hope as he watched her take one of Joshua’s tiny hands in hers. “Teach him. Help him.”
You can’t do worse than I have. Chances are, you’ll do much better
. He feared the worst as he watched yet another tear slide down her cheek.

“And if I can’t?”

“I believe you can.” Thayne held his breath as she pressed Joshua’s hand to her cheek, almost lovingly.
The way a mother would—the way his own mother never did.

“He’s never spoken?”

“No. As an infant, he babbled some, but after a while that—stopped. He needs a teacher, someone who can understand him, get through to him.”

Emma brushed the hair away from Joshua’s brow, then stood and faced Thayne. She held her hands at her hips and her brows knit together in a stern, scolding expression he’d yet to see from her. But when she spoke, her voice was warm—soft.

“Would’ve saved us both a heap of trouble if you’d just said so in the first place. But—”A smile lit her face. “I accept the position.”

Chapter 23

“Aaaaaaa—apple,” Emma repeated. She took Joshua’s finger and traced the letter on the open page of the primer she held in her lap. Before they left, she’d insisted on taking it, along with a picture book of animals, from her trunk. Now, at midmorning, she was on her third time going through the book with Joshua and was showing no intention of stopping anytime soon.

Thayne could hardly keep his eyes on the road, and he
couldn’t
keep the smile from his face.

Early this morning, he’d awoken in the Lakota lodge to find his son a few feet away and Emma next to Joshua on the other side. The two were sleeping curled up together, Emma’s arm protectively cradling Joshua against her body. Thayne wasn’t sure how long he’d lain there fascinated by the picture before him, but he’d been very aware of the havoc such a scene was causing him internally.

He’d told himself their afternoon of leisure two days before was all for Emma, that she needed to be calm and rested before they reached the Lakota agency and she met Joshua for the first time. But by the day’s end, Thayne had been calling himself a hundred times a fool for even entertaining the idea that he could be alone with her at the hot spring and keep his distance. There, in the warm water, he’d been playing with fire, and he knew it. Each day he cared for her more. Each night he reminded himself she could never be his.

This morning, watching her sleep holding his son, Thayne’s torture entered a whole new realm—one even more difficult to face than the physical attraction he felt toward Emma. Already, she was fulfilling his wishes and dreams—acting like the mother Joshua would never have. Thayne had wanted her for himself, and now he wanted her for Joshua. It was one thing for a man to live a life devoid of love and affection, but how could he deny his child such things?

Pushing troubled thoughts of the future to the far back of his mind, Thayne concentrated on the road before him and the hope Emma had already brought. This morning she didn’t seem the least daunted by the tasks ahead but was enamored with Joshua and refused to listen to a list of what he could not do, insisting instead that he had only to be taught the right way to learn.

After her flood of tears last night, she seemed a new woman, changed overnight with the worry of the past three weeks lifted. Her enthusiasm was infectious, and Thayne found he could not remember a day he’d ever felt happier. They were in the hills he loved, and their wagon was rolling toward home. His son was safe, and a beautiful, vibrant
teacher
had agreed to be a part of their lives.

* * *

Thayne cast a worried glance in Emma’s direction. She held Joshua on her lap as he slept, two blankets shielding him from the driving rain. Thayne and Emma were not so fortunate. His hat and her bonnet did little to protect them from the cold, stinging drops. Lightning flashed ahead of them, and Emma cringed. Thunder shook the dark sky a few seconds later. Thayne was certain he heard her whimper.

“Storms like these don’t usually last more than an hour or so,” he said, hoping to reassure her.

“Is there nowhere we can go to get out of it?” she shouted. “No place that might offer us protection? Think of Joshua,” she urged. “This is dangerous.”

“Best to keep going,” Thayne said. “I don’t know any of the miners in these parts, and I’m afraid we might get offered more than hospitality.”

“I think it’s worth the risk,” Emma said. She leaned over Joshua, lowering her head as the rain intensified.

Watching her shiver, Thayne felt terrible.
Maybe we should find a place to stop.
But looking around them, he knew the road was safest. While the thick trees might shelter them from the rain, they would also be a target for lightning. Urging the horses to go faster, he wished the storm had held off until tomorrow when they were closer to home and he knew a few places they might have found shelter.

Thunder boomed a second later, ricocheting off the narrow canyon.

“Thayne,
please
,” Emma cried, turning to him, terror in her eyes. “I’ve got to stop. I’ve got to get out of this.”

“Emma, there’s nowhere—”

She stood up in the wagon, Joshua still clutched in her arms.

“Sit down,” Thayne barked. “All right, we’ll stop.” He guided the horses to the side of the road, seeking what little cover an outcropping of rock offered.

As soon as the wagon stopped, Emma started to climb down. Thayne jumped off his side and ran to take Joshua from her. She shook her head but allowed Thayne to help them down. Her feet no sooner touched the ground than she fell to her knees and, heedless of the mud, scooted under the wagon.

Thayne wiped the water from the brim of his hat and squatted down beside the wheel.

Shivering, Emma huddled under the wagon. Methodically, she rocked Joshua back and forth, the look in her eyes a hundred miles away. Worried about her state of mind and Joshua’s safety, Thayne crawled under the wagon box, hunched over as he sat beside her.

“It’s just a little rain,” he said, putting his arm around her.

She looked at him at last, the fear in her expression palpable.

“No,” she said. “It’s not.”

Thayne wasn’t sure if she was trembling from cold or anxiety. He decided it was time for drastic measures, betting that if he could get her good and angry, she’d be all right. “You’re not going to cry on me again, are you? My shirt’s still wet from two days past.”

“Your shirt is wet because you’ve got us stuck in this awful storm. And
no
, I am not going to cry. I seldom do.”

“Could’ve fooled me, what with the way you carried on the other night. Lone Wolf predicted there’d be nothing left of you by morning.”

“He did not.”

“No,” Thayne admitted. “But he did tell me you wouldn’t last two moons in the Hills. He offered me Red Hawk as your replacement.”

Emma scowled. Lightning illuminated their shelter, and Thayne felt her tense. He squeezed her shoulder as the thunder sounded, farther away this time.

“Storm’s moving on,” he said.

“Not fast enough,” Emma replied, but her voice was steadier.

“We get a lot of storms up here. And a lot of snow in the winter. Maybe this isn’t going to work out. Maybe I should turn around, put you on a train, and send you right back to Wendell.”

This time Emma didn’t bother to correct his misuse of her fiancé’s name. “You wouldn’t dare. You said yourself I’ve been too much trouble already, and besides, you need me to teach this darling boy to talk.” She pulled the blanket back and peeked at Joshua, miraculously sleeping through the torrent above them.

“True,” Thayne said. His hand brushed against her ice-cold fingers as he helped tuck the blanket around his son. “You’re freezing. Give me your hand.”

She obeyed, and he took her slender fingers in his and began rubbing. Though his intent was to warm her, he was affected by their touch as well. What a pleasure it was to hold a woman’s hand, to feel the simple touch of another human being. He’d been without for so long. After a few minutes, she closed her eyes, a slight smile on her lips.

“That feels so much better. Thank you.”

Thayne was again reminded of the day he’d fed her the prairie dog and she’d acted as if she had arrived in paradise. Funny how a simple thing like warm hands or a piece of burnt meat seemed to fill her with such gratitude and something as ordinary as a thunderstorm got her so upset.

He took her other hand and began warming it too. They sat in companionable silence for several minutes until Thayne realized the rain had slowed considerably. “I think we’re good now.” He crawled from beneath the wagon and reached for Joshua.

“Can’t we wait until the storm has completely passed?” Emma anxiously peered out at the sky. “Sometimes when it seems one is over, the second wave passes through.”

Thayne shook his head. “We should go. I don’t want to spend the night in this canyon, and that’s exactly where we’ll end up if we don’t get going and cover some miles.”

Emma glanced at the sky once more, then finally leaned forward, placing Joshua in Thayne’s outstretched hands.

Careful to keep his son covered, Thayne placed Joshua on the center of the wagon seat, then returned to help Emma.

“My dress,” she moaned, looking down at the mud-stained fabric as she grasped Thayne’s hand. He pulled, took a step backward, and felt his heel sink into a hole in the road. He sat down hard, inadvertently jerking Emma forward.

The soles of her moccasins slid on the wet grass, and her free hand flailed in the air before she toppled toward him, landing half on Thayne and half in a rather deep puddle on the muddy road.

“You all right?” Thayne asked, taking her arm and guiding her to a sitting position.

“No, I am not
all
right,” she snapped. “I’m a mess. Just look at me.” She pushed aside a strand of hair plastered to her face.

“I am looking,” Thayne said, unable to keep the laughter from his voice. “In your pink dress with mud up to your elbows, you—you remind me of the little piggies after they’ve been rolling around in the mire.”

Emma’s eyes narrowed. She started to fold her arms across her chest then realized that would only make her dress worse. Instead, she wagged a finger at him. “What a terribly rude thing to say. A
pig
? Really, Thayne. And you’re one to speak. Why—with your hair that needs to be cut, your unshaven face, and your muddy hands and knees, you look like a great grizzly bear that’s just woken after a long winter of hibernation.”

Her mouth pressed into a thin line—a feeble attempt, Thayne decided, at looking stern and reprimanding. Her twitching lips and the spark of amusement in her eyes gave away her true feelings.

“If I’m a bear who’s been hibernating—” He stroked his chin, accidentally spreading the mud to his face. “Then it’s likely I’m . . .
hungry
!” He lunged for her, catching her around the waist as she shrieked.

“And there’s nothing a hungry bear likes more than a delicious pink pig.”

“Thayne, don’t,” she begged, laughing as she tried to wiggle from his grasp. “We’re already a muddy mess. “But if you pull me in again—”

He continued to try. She managed to free one hand and brought it to his chest, attempting to push him away.

He was again reminded of the strength she possessed when she really wanted something—whether it be pushing him from a train, riding a horse bareback, or shoving him in the mud. He decided to let her have her way. After all, his ploy had already worked. Now, instead of fear in her eyes, he saw mischief.

Emmalyne shoved with all her might and sent him sprawling into the puddle she’d fallen in just moments before. He still held her hand though and pulled her with him, thoroughly soaking the arm that hadn’t gotten muddy the first time around.

She gasped, shaking her fingers, flinging dirty water all over both of them as she knelt, panting and breathless, beside him.

Thayne pulled out his bandana and wiped his eyes. Still chuckling, he offered it to Emma.

Yanking it from him, she attempted to dry her hands, then suddenly looked up.

“
What
are we doing?”

“Wrestling in the mud like a couple of pigs?” he offered.

She frowned.

“Don’t like that?” he asked, raising an eyebrow. “Well then, how about getting your mind off the storm?”

“I hate storms,” Emma said softly.

“I noticed.” He took his bandana from her and used it to wipe a spattering of mud from the tip of her nose. “But the thing about a storm is there’s often a reward at the end.” He rose from the ground, then reached down and gently lifted her to her feet. Walking carefully, they made their way to the wagon.

He helped her up to the seat, then pointed at the sky to the north of them, a faded rainbow arcing across. “You know the promise of the rainbow, don’t you?”

“No more floods.” Emma scooted over, careful not to touch Joshua with her muddy gown.

Thayne climbed up beside her. “How about you promise me we’ll continue on now and there’ll be no more floods of tears like we had a couple days past?”

Emma lifted her chin. “And what shall I get in return?”

“Two days from now—a hot bath and a roof over your head.”

“Just two more days?” She sounded ecstatic.

“Promise.” He clicked the reins.

Her smile was back. “You’ve got yourself a deal.”