Captive to the Dark (2 page)

“I’ll get to know him.” It was a lie, but one I said for the benefit of my sister. She didn’t need to know that I had every intention of steering clear. The show I’d put on when she was around would make her feel better, but I wouldn’t do a single thing to lead him on. It had to work.

“Yay.” Bethany clapped her hands, reminding me of more a teenager versus a thirty-two year old woman. We could have easily switched ages. Mentally, I felt older by at least fifteen years. I didn’t relate well with the whole partying college crowd, and that’s still what my sister and Charles reminded me of. It was as though they’d never grown up, just accumulated more money. But what did I know? We hadn’t left yet. Maybe I’d be surprised.

****

For four hours we cruised further away from San Francisco, toward the Oregon coast. Bethany said Charles had to meet an associate there and pick up some paperwork for a project he was working on. I brushed it off and kept my eyes on the horizon.

The water was relatively smooth and I was happy I’d escaped the dreaded sea sickness up until that point. Before I knew it, the sun was starting to set and Charles anchored close enough for us to see the lights in the distance of some unknown Northern California town.

“I’m going to go down and throw something together for dinner. You should make yourself comfy in the hot tub. Relax. Enjoy yourself.” Bethany winked and scooted out of the booth, nudging Charles, who followed her. I felt like groaning, but kept it in.

Jordan glanced in my direction and stood. Surprisingly, my heart leapt. Now that wasn’t right. A frown came to my face and I looked down at my hands clutched in my lap.

“It’s beautiful out here, isn’t it?”

I hesitated, but met his gaze. “It is.” The slight narrowing had me wondering what was on his mind. He didn’t once break his stare from my face.

“So, you’re the infamous Mary I’ve heard about. Never thought I’d see the day we’d meet.”

“What do you mean?” Well, that had caught my attention. Infamous?

The shoes he was wearing slid against the side of the Jacuzzi and he pulled off his shirt. The defined muscles in his stomach and chest had me looking down. I may have been into some dark shit, but my innocence was still there. I wasn’t naïve to the fact. After all, I was still technically a virgin, despite the rape.
He
hadn’t ruined me there.

“You father talks about you all the time. He’s proud of how far you’ve come.”

“He talks about me?”

“You sound shocked.” Jordan unbuttoned his khaki shorts, pulling them off. The white and dark blue swim shorts hung low on his hips, revealing a perfect
V
.  Heat blossomed on my cheeks and I swallowed past the sudden lump in my throat. What in the hell was wrong with me? This was so out of my character. It had to be some weird new version of sea sickness, or sun poisoning. Surely my pale skin was as red as a cherry from being outside all day.

The wind blew my sandy blonde hair across my face and I quickly pushed it back. “I guess I am surprised in a way. I didn’t know I was a topic for discussion. What all has he said?”

A mischievous smile came to his face. “Join me and I’ll tell you all about it.”

I knew that look all too well, and I wasn’t interested. “Sorry, I don’t have my swimsuit on.”

“I bet you do.”

Damn him. I did, but I wasn’t about to get in the hot tub. No way, no how. “I don’t think being in water, on top of the water, would be good for my sea sickness. I’d rather not push it. I’ve been lucky so far.”

“As you wish.”

The water sloshed against the sides while he sat back and continued to stare. Silence between the two of us lasted all of five minutes before the sound of the waves caught my attention. My stomach instantly flip-flopped. If I didn’t get my mind off of it quick, I’d be hanging over the edge of this boat in a matter of minutes.

“Fine.” I stood and pulled the dress over my head. The white bandeau bikini I wore did little to flatter my curvy body. I’d mainly gotten it so it’d blend in with the dress without standing out under the material. As for looks, my body was as pale as what I wore.

The water was warm against my legs as I climbed in. The way Jordan raked his eyes from head to toe had that blasted thing in my chest running a marathon.

“Better,” he said, lowly. “Now, where was I? Oh, right. Your father says you’re almost finished with your Bachelors in Psychology. I’m intrigued. What made you choose that path? Are you going for your Masters, Doctorate, or are you looking to get into counseling when you finish?”

“I won’t stop school until I’m licensed. My plan is to become a child therapist, but I’ve teased with the idea of going for something like a criminal profiler.”

“Oh.” Disbelief lit his tone. “Now, that is interesting. Does daddy know?”

The smile that came to my face was automatic and he returned my expression with a one of his own. “No. You’re the first person I’ve ever told. I’m not sure how he’d feel about it. He’s stressed for as long as I can remember that I need to go for something respectful. Safe. Stick to an occupation like a doctor or lawyer. FBI wouldn’t impress him.”

“Well
I
think it sounds cool. And thank you for confiding in me. I don’t blame you for not telling your old man. There’s things mine doesn’t know that I sure as shit wouldn’t want him discovering.”

Without thought, I leaned closer. This guy was more intriguing than I’d first thought. “Like what?”

The nonchalant shrug was followed by him leaning back, again. “Just things.”

What kind of response was that? “I told you a secret. It’s your turn to tell me one.”

“Oh, is that the game we’re playing? Okay.” He nodded for me to get closer. I sighed but moved another few inches toward him. Only then did he lean to the side to get level with my ear. “I almost always do the opposite of what my father says, but I think I’m going to make an exception in this case. I like you.”

My head jerked back and I looked at him. So, he was being put up to this too? And he actually wanted to go through with it? No. Not going to happen. I scooted back, crossing my arms over my chest.

Amusement lit his face while he repositioned himself against the back. “You’re not interested.” I could tell it wasn’t a question, but more of a shocked statement. The sound of his laugh traveled over the water and I looked around nervously for my sister. What was taking them so long? “Wow, now there’s a first. I have to admit, I’m a little upset that you’re against seeing what will become of the two of us. Is it my looks? Are you not into guys? I was told you don’t really date.”

“Your looks have nothing to do with it.” I glanced back at him. “They’re very nice.”

“Then, what?” The way he cocked his head to the side told me he was genuinely interested in my dismissal. And why
had
I brushed him off so quickly? I’d planned to make it not so obvious. If he told my father, it was bound to make us take a step back. The hard work I’d done to repair our relationship would be wiped out. Why was I so torn on how to handle things?

My mind scrambled for the right things to say. “I’m not completely opposed to getting to know you, I’m just not going to jump into having a formal status with you because that’s what everyone wants. You’re right about one thing. I don’t date. School is my main focus. Plus, I work two jobs, pay my own bills, and I like it that way.”

Jordan studied my face. “Then we have something in common. I don’t let daddy take care of me either. I seriously think we’re going to have a lot more before this is over with. You’ll like me. I know you will.”

“Kind of cocky, aren’t you?” I stood, ready to get out.

“Not cocky. Confident. We’re more alike than you know.”

Water dripped down from by body and I reached over, grabbing my dress. The anger rushing through me came out of nowhere. “You have no idea who I am. Don’t presume anything, because ten to one, you’re wrong.”

The cool air made me shiver as I headed through the door, right into the living room area. White leather couches angled each other giving way to a large flat screen television. I didn’t even pause to look to see what was on it. Bethany glanced up from cutting vegetables, a frown darkening her face.

“Out so soon?”

How could I tell her I’d just probably blown things with the first and only guy our dad had chosen for me? She’d be upset and then this trip would be a complete bust. “Just going to take a shower real quick. I’ll still hang out when I’m finished. Not in the water, though. I don’t want to push the sea sickness thing.”

“I forgot about that.” A piece of carrot flew across the cutting board, swirling before coming to a standstill on the edge. “You’re probably right. Well, head straight back, you’re the second room to the right. You’ll be sharing a restroom with Jordan, but there’s a lock on the inside of the door. You won’t have to worry about anyone invading your privacy.”

“Thanks.” Was she mad? I couldn’t get over the fact that she didn’t look very happy at me leaving Jordan outside.

Water ran down my legs and the air conditioning made me begin to shake. I hurried into my room, more fleeing from my sister’s possible disapproval than freezing to death. Deep red silk with gold embroidery covered the bed. Although it probably resembled elegance to some, the color combination reminded me of lust. Hot, passionate sex full of pain and pleasure. That’s all I saw when I looked at where I was going to be sleeping. Instantly, my body came alive. Shit. It was only the first night. What was I going to do? Getting myself off under this roof wasn’t necessarily something I felt comfortable doing. I’d have to try to contain the cravings as best as I could. Which, from the past, I knew could be a bad thing.

The entrance to the restroom stood open. I grabbed some clothes from my suitcase and didn’t hesitate to lock the adjoining door. The last thing I wanted was Jordan
accidently
barging in on me. He may be attractive, but I didn’t want him knowing my secrets. Nothing good would come out of introducing him to the real me. If I consented to anyone, it would be to a stranger; someone who didn’t know me, or whose daughter I was. That was the safest way. The only way.

Within minutes, steam filled the entire space. The large mirror that covered half of the wall was completely fogged up. The see-through walls made me nervous, but no one could get in. I would be okay.

Grey marble floors led into the large shower. Designer shampoo and body washes lined the shelf on the wall. My eyes scanned the fragrances including Plumeria, Juniper, but I settled for Vanilla Bean. The moment I slid it across my skin, I instantly regretted it. The scent was so strong it nearly took my breath away. Surely they wouldn’t make it so potent. I turned the bottle around, reading the back.

Apply a small, dime sized amount
. I sighed. Figured. The palmful had been way too much. Instead of smelling like a single bean pod, I was going to be walking around like I had the complete vanilla orchard blossoming from my skin.

The bottle swayed as I sat it down. In my haste to catch it, three bottles toppled over, scattering at my feet and sliding around the bottom. “Dammit.” Tonight was just not my night.

A knock had me jerking upright.

“Yes?” I opened the shower door and stuck my head out so I could hear.

“You okay in there?”

Jordan.

Black drowned out the restroom as my lids closed. “I’m fine. Thanks for asking.”

Was he done relaxing in the hot tub already? Why else would he be in his room? Too many questions entered my mind, but I overanalyzed everything. I knew that. I shut the door and pushed them away. He said something, but I ignored it as I hurried with washing my hair. The faster I was out and dressed, the better.

Within minutes, I was sliding on a one piece romper. The black, loose tube top connected at my waist to a pair of flowing pants. My pile of clothes rested against the counter and I reached down, grabbing them. A click filled the space as I unlocked Jordan’s side and rushed into my room, closing myself in. The inside of my bedroom door didn’t have a lock. My mind immediately raced.

Denying that it sent a thrill through me that Jordan might slip in while I slept would be a lie. As twisted as it was that I didn’t want him, I couldn’t help but want it to happen. It was one thing if he approached me with the intent to sleep with me. I knew I’d say no. The thought wasn’t appealing in the least. But doing something as daring as slipping into my bed and waking me with his touch. Now that turned me on.

Will you come? Surprise me and turn out to be someone you’re not?

Sadness took over. Why was I like this? Most women wouldn’t have that reaction. I’d battled this since my innocence was taken. Since the protector I’d grown up with followed me to my room after swim practice and raped me anally. He hadn’t managed to penetrate me fully before my muffled screams alerted another guard, but still. The damage was done. I’d thrown up from the combination of sheer pain and from the fact of who was hurting the breach of trust. For as long as I could remember, my parents always assured me Thomas would take care of me. They were wrong. From that day on, I was never the same.

Any sense of normalcy had vanished. This caged sex-addict was the person I was now, and somehow I needed to learn how to deal with that. The hate I felt for myself…it left me a complete mess. My brain battled with what was right and what was wrong. Everything opposite of good was what I wanted. Most people referred to normal sex as vanilla. I knew I was the furthest thing from that. If it didn’t involve pain or some sense of wrong, I didn’t want it.

“Mary! Dinner’s ready.”

The annoyance behind Bethany’s tone caused me to take a deep breath. I had to fix this. But, how? Pretend to be interested in Jordan? I didn’t want to lead him on. It might be great to fantasize about some late night rendezvous, but that’s about as far as it went. Relationship wise, I couldn’t see it happening.

Why did I come on this trip again?

Charles sat perched at the mahogany table, already picking at a large salad splayed across what looked to be china. A wooden serving bowl was centered in the middle and I couldn’t tear my eyes away from it. Was this their idea of a meal? I was going to need more than leafy veggies to satisfy my hunger. Meat. That’s what I needed.