Authors: Susannah Merrill
But why? Did he really consider her such a burden that she was not worth rescuing? She had made it clear that he owed her nothing for her rash but glorious capitulation. She’d avoided talk of the future, making no demands. Surely he knew she’d gone into their affair with open eyes, and that the conditions she’d so naively laid down months ago had no bearing on their future.
Was he simply a cruel and selfish man? No, her mind argued as a single tear dropped from her lower lash, No, she had experienced too much patience, too many kindnesses at his hands to believe that to be true. Then what? Why?
As if on cue, the object of her aggravated thoughts suddenly appeared in the room, coming out of the shadows to carefully study her troubled yet brave smile. “Are you feeling all right?” His deep baritone filled the space between them, making her feel warmer and happier than her previous thoughts had given right to.
“I’mfine,really,”sheansweredquickly, brushing a hand across her dampened cheek and lifting herself up hastily, then smoothing the blankets round her slender form.
“Then why the tears?” he challenged, his dark eyes expressing concern though his jaw held stiff in an inscrutable, distant way, pricking Sarah with wariness. Was he angry?
“I am relieved ... exhausted ... I don’t know,” she shrugged with an attempt at lightheartedness. “Silly of me.”
“You’ve been through quite an ordeal,” he announced soberly. His aloofness was understandable in light of what she knew, but no less hurtful. Her mind strove to find something to relieve the tension.
“Are you all right?” By appearance, he looked dashing, carefully groomed and clothed in a thick black jersey and breeches, his complexion robust despite the lines of fatigue on his finely chiseled features.
“Thatswimwasabitmuch,”hegrinned, suddenly lighting up the room, his teeth gleaming white in sharp contrast to his darkened figure, “but otherwise, I am fit. Glad to be off that damned island.”
“I, too,” Sarah replied shyly, studying her nervous fingers as they fumbled with the hem of the bed sheet. “However did Jeremiah and the crew retake the ship? I thought the men were under constant surveillance.”
Stewart’s eyebrows arched slightly, but his voice remained cool. “I was merely seeing to your needs. There’s a broth warming on the stove. May I suggest you eat while I talk?”
He left her bedside for the shadows on the other side of the room, returning moments later with a steaming, fragrant bowl of soup on a small tray, which he placed on the pillow she had arranged on her lap. He then turned to pull up a chair beside the bunk, settling himself comfortably while she spooned the first delicious mouthful. “Mmm. This is lovely,” she murmured in response to his questioning gaze. “So tell me, please, how did you and Jeremiah recapture the Endeavour?”
Stewart snorted derisively. “Well, in many ways it was like taking candy from a babe. For pirates, d’Alava’s men were a strangely complacent rabble. On the nights when they bothered to form a watch, the crew would be counted on to sleep through it. They cared little about holding prisoners. After all, they expected our freedom eventually, just as we did. Why should we try to escape?
“At any rate, as our captivity stretched on interminably, Jeremiah and I decided to act on the assumption that d’Alava had no intention of letting us go, at least not in the near future. But when Tegan was ... discovered,” he uttered the phrase carefully, but Sarah still flinched upon hearing him, “we saw that our time was running out. No telling how soon he would learn the truth.”
“He did know,” Sarah interrupted. “He told me that it was Turgot who-who ....” She was unable to finish. Stewart quickly reached out a comforting hand to rest on her covered leg, a familiar intimacy so natural neither noticed the impropriety of it.
“I know, Sarah,” he soothed, leaning forward. “And if it makes you feel any better, Turgot paid dearly for his crimes.” Her saucer-like eyes stared into his for the answer. “Ezra, God bless the lad, finished him off, saving Jeremiah’s life in the process. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Are you certain you want to hear all this?”
“Well, you knew we were up to something,” he continued conspiratorially, his hand still touching her leg, “with me leaving every night. I can tell you, dearest, that was sheer torture.” His voice bathed her intimately, and she struggled to ignore his tone. She studied the bowl of soup on her lap, her heart throbbing at his verbal caress. “We managed to prepare the ship for sailing, stocking up enough supplies to get us to Charleston, we’re estimating. Fortunately, we even managed to recover some of our weapons, or you and I would not be here discussing our victory,” he added, referring to the frightening ambush at sea.
“As I said, the guard was practically nonexistent,” Stewart continued. “We were able to hide away almost half the crew over the four nights without anyone noticing ... or perhaps ‘caring’ is a better word. D’Alava and Turgot hadn’t nearly the loyal band they thought. Most of those pirates wanted nothing more than to live peacefully in the village. D’Alava had enough booty to last them all a lifetime, though it doesn’t appear he was fair in dividing the spoils. The only time the men got halfway decent treatment was when they went on raids, which, I suppose, is why they even bothered to go. That and the thrill ....” Stewart sighed, raking his hand through his darkly waving hair.
“Sowhathappened?Whatwentwrong?” Sarah knew she was venturing into painful territory, but she needed to hear the truth from his lips.
“We had planned to leave tonight,” Stewart went on, absently plucking at the blanket covering her legs. “Everything was perfect – the winds, the tide, the weather – everything that is, except our cover. We knew d’Alava was suspicious, but we hadn’t planned on him making his move today.”
Asifshewererelivingadream,Sarah whispered, “He said you were d-dead.” Her body shivered with remembered anguish.
“Had things gone as he expected, I would be,” Stewart told her simply. “I was ambushed on my way to the worksite this morning. Knocked over the head and tossed down a ravine on the other side of the lagoon.” At Sarah’s look of horror, he added, “Good thing my executioner didn’t check his work, or I might very well be dead.”
Stewart shrugged. “A knot on the head, a few bumps, bruises. Obviously somebody wants me alive,” he chuckled, “for it was hard to believe I survived either the blow or the fall. Quite a stretch of time passed before I regained consciousness and managed to climb back up the ravine. In the meantime, Turgot had gone after Jeremiah, but hadn’t counted on Ezra coming up behind him or his skill with the sabre. We might have lost our able captain were it not for that brave boy.” He added, his voice softening. “I think his courage was borne out of the need to avenge Tegan’s death. He took it personally, you know.”
“Poor Ezra,” Sarah sighed sadly. “He promised he would protect her, but it wasn’t his fault.” Pausing briefly to gather courage for her next words, she whispered, “I wanted to thank you for rescuing me. I know things did not go quite as you’d planned ....”
“Now there’s an understatement,” Stewart rejoined swiftly, causing her troubled eyes to grow wide with surprise. She hadn’t expected him to admit so readily to his decision to leave her behind. But she had misunderstood, as his next words proved. “When I caught sight of that bastard dragging you off, I realized just how close we’d come to bungling the whole escape.” His dark eyes bore into her with a look of both anger and sorrow, an odd combination, impossible to judge. “Did he hurt you, Sarah?”
Thepaincouldnotbedisguised.“Not physically,” she replied through clenched teeth, using every effort to hold back the tears. The fact that he had gone rigid and aloof did not make it easier.
“Meaning,” she breathed heavily, “he showed me what a fool I had been to trust others when my life is at stake.”
Stewart’s tone took on a strangely eerie quality, as if he could not quite believe what his ears were hearing. “You ... a fool? For trusting me? What did d’Alava tell you, Sarah?”
Suddenly, Sarah realized she did not want to hear either his confession or his lies. She fumbled for words to extricate herself from the force of Stewart’s gaze. “Please. The past is over. Let’s not bother to talk about it anymore.”
With the grace and speed of a cat, he had leapt from the chair and was sitting beside her on the bed, his strong hands grasping her wrists as the tray rattled off her lap, sloshing the remains of the soup about as it slid to the bed. She struggled to hide her tearful face, but he persisted, pulling her arms away until she was forced to look at his steely countenance. “It seems you’ve more than one secret to hide from me, Sarah. Now tell me, what did d’Alava say?”
“He said you’d planned to es-escape without me, th-that you’d no intention of t-taking me with you...!”
She thought she would drown in her own sobs, as the words were wrenched from her, and it took many moments to realize that Stewart was holding her close, comfortingly, as if her accusation meant nothing. It felt so good to have his hard chest beneath her cheek, to be soothed by his practiced hands stroking her tangled hair and wet face, that she was almost willing to let the truth pass.
Almost, but not quite. With a sudden lunge, she pushed herself away, only to find herself mesmerized by his smiling brown eyes, his hands still holding her shoulders firmly.
“Whatever will it take,” he chuckled infuriatingly, “to make you trust me, and not the words of any slimy snake that has nothing to lose by discrediting my poor, dead soul? Did it ever occur to you that d’Alava might have said that to make his own cause more appealing?” Her troubled look stood as her answer. “No,” he sighed, “I guess not. But can you not believe in the facts: that we rescued you and you are safe?”
“I am not ungrateful,” she blurted, hurt by his mundane argument. “It is just that you told me nothing ... and I-I ....”
“I told you why as well,” he reminded her, as if talking to a tiresome child. “Heaven help you if d’Alava had suspected you knew about our escape.”
Hisheadshotupasheleveledanangry gaze. “Not one of us would have gone without you – for any reason. My word means a great deal, though apparently not to you. I promised you – and your father – that I would keep you safe, or had you forgotten?”
Sheshookherhead.“Somuchhashappened I did not expect. I was confused and afraid. I let d’Alava convince me that you could not be trusted. I’m sorry,” she added contritely. “Will you forgive me for doubting you?”
“That depends,” he answered, a trace of warmth returning to his features, “on whether I can believe you trust me now.”
“I-I guess I always have,” she stammered, not quite knowing what he expected. “Whenever I was unsure, it always turned out that you were telling the truth ....”
“Sarah,” he interrupted her, shaking his head, “I’m not looking for contrite speeches. If you mean what you say, shouldn’t you be telling me what I have a right to know?” She looked at him, puzzlement creasing her smooth, delicate features. Did he suspect she had fallen in love with him? And if so, was she obliged to tell him? But whatever else could he mean? Her answer came in his next shocking words. “The baby, Sarah. D’Alava threatened to hurt you and the child. My child.”
His dark eyes were angry, but it was the fierce possessiveness that stunned her, the same unearthly determination that seemed to pierce her very soul when he had confronted d’Alava as the pirate sought to claim her earlier that day. She swallowed, shaking her head to rid herself of that vision. “No,” she murmured breathlessly, unable to meet his eyes. “You misunderstood ....”
“Don’t!” His fiercely intense command struck her like a physical blow and she realized his upraised hand was shaking. “Don’t – lie to me.” Immediately he was in control again, leaving Sarah to think she had imagined his sudden outburst, and the possessiveness that aroused it. “We knew this might happen. I am prepared for the consequences, as I told you before.”
Instantly she was furious. As if accepting parenthood were his own personal sacrifice, and had nothing to do with her! “I sincerely apologize for dashing your hopes of playing the martyr, Mr. Chamberlain,” she spat sarcastically, “but there is no child. I was lying to buy time, not that it would have done any good. I think d’Alava would have enjoyed jeopardizing the life of your offspring.”
“OfcourseIamsure,”shesni ffed,crossing her arms over her breasts and leaning back against the pillows. “I told you I did not want a child.”
He laughed, though a little preoccupied. “Forgive me. I forgot your method for preventing conception. Anyway, ‘tis just as well. After what you’ve been through today, you might have lost the child, endangering your own health as well.”
She didn’t mean to speak aloud, but the statement came out before she could stop herself. “You were worried.”
For an instant, Stewart looked almost sheepish, but he quickly recovered, leaning forward to give her hair a playful tug before he moved away from the bed. “Of course I was worried, you little vixen. I’ve grown rather fond of your sharp tongue, not to mention your other, more pleasing attributes.” With a swiftness that literally took her breath away, he bent to place a long, lingering kiss on her open mouth, stopping just at the point when she would have curled her arms around his neck.
Embarrassed because she still wanted him so badly, Sarah sought to cover her desire with words, as Stewart was pulling away from her. “Do you think ... does Jeremiah know ... about us?”
Stewart shook his head, leaning over to recover the tray that had fallen from her lap, seeming intent on his task. “No, but it would be better for us if he did. We could share my cabin. As it stands I’ll be waking up to that old sea dog, unless . ... ” he paused and she offered up a silent prayer that was quickly dashed, “you can be convinced to thumb your pretty nose at convention and let us continue as we were.”