Capture the Rainbow (10 page)

Her hands went up instinctively to tangle in the dark crispness of his hair, holding him to her protectively. “Joel, I don’t understand…”

He nestled his head against her like a weary little boy, pushing aside the open shirt to press his cheek to the warmth of her bare breasts. “You’re so soft, so womanly. I had almost forgotten in the last two weeks.” His lips brushed lightly over one gentle rise. “I never meant to hurt you, Kendra. As God is my witness, I never wanted to cause you a moment’s pain or danger. Please believe me.”

“I believe you.” Kendra’s throat was clogged as she tenderly stroked his hair. “Of course I believe you, Joel.”

“I don’t know how you can.” His cheek was slightly rough as he rubbed against her breast with a movement that was more affectionate than sensual. “Not after what I’ve put you through in the last couple of weeks, what I did to you today. And you’re wrong, it wasn’t your fault we didn’t get that take today. It was mine. Everything that happened to you today was my fault and if you had been seriously injured, that would have been my fault, too.” He laughed mirthlessly. “I tried to tell myself I was doing it for your own good, to show you that the kind of punishment you’re subjected to isn’t worth the bucks you get for your work. But I knew inside that was pure unadulterated bull. You were right. I wanted to prove you less than you are. I wanted you to surrender. Not only because that would keep you safe, but it would keep me safe as well. You were already possessing my body; I didn’t want to give you a chance at taking over my soul as well. Can you understand that?”

Oh yes, she could understand that. His words reflected a mirror image of the struggle she had been going through herself since that night at his House of Rainbows. The realization that the battle had been shared by the man she was holding in her arms brought her a sudden feeling of kinship, a lessening of defensive antagonism. His simple honesty was a weapon against which she had no defense. “You were only doing your job,” she said with an unexplainable desire to comfort him. “I realize that.”

He raised his head to look at her and his eyes were dark with pain. “You’re lying. You knew what I was doing to you. I could see it in your face every time I pushed you a little bit more. Sometimes I could see how exhausted you were and I’d want to yell cut, then run out and scoop you up and protect you against all the dragons in your world.” His lips curved bitterly. “But how could I do that when I was one of those dragons myself? So I pushed you even harder and watched you lose weight, saw the circles appear beneath your eyes.” His finger reached out to touch the hollow of her cheek. “I watched the strain grow in you until it was an aching pain inside me.” He shook his head in bewilderment. “Because by that time I felt as if we were linked somehow so that I could actually tell what you were feeling. Lord, Freud would have had a field day with me for the last two weeks.”

“You could have stopped at any time, you know,” she said with a wry smile. “I guarantee I wouldn’t have objected to a cessation of hostilities if you’d cared to hoist a truce flag.”

He shook his head, “I couldn’t do that.” His finger traced a gentle path to her lower lip. “Because you see, I wasn’t doing what I set out to do. I was losing ground every day, with every moment I spent with you. You were coming closer all the time and I couldn’t let that happen. I was watching more than your exhaustion and discomfort; I was watching you
endure.
I was watching your strength and determination, your quiet friendliness with everyone on the set.” He frowned. “Everyone but me. God, I was jealous when I’d see you laughing and joking with Billie. Your face would light up and suddenly you’d look as young and carefree as a kid. Then you’d look at me and you’d close up again. I didn’t know why, but it hurt, dammit. Everything you did and said hurt me.”

The mirror again. “I had to close up,” she said. “I couldn’t let you hurt me. My life is difficult enough without my becoming vulnerable to a man who won’t see me as I am.”

“That’s what I’m trying to say,” he said. “I fought it like hell, but it hasn’t done any good. You’re not a rainbow lady to me anymore.” His eyes were grave. “You’re real to me now. More real than anyone I’ve ever known. And I’m not fighting anymore, Kendra. After I saw you lying at the bottom of the hill, I knew I had lost that particular battle.” He framed her face with his hands, and they were magically gentle. “I’ll never hurt you again. I only want to show you that I’m not quite the bastard I’ve been acting. Will you let me do that?”

“It wouldn’t make any difference,” she said haltingly. “A relationship between us isn’t going to pan out. There are too many factors working against us.”

“I don’t know about you, but I don’t think I have a choice any longer.” His eyes were quietly compelling. “I’m not asking you to move in with me. I think I know you well enough to realize you’d be too wary to consider it.” His lips twisted. “Surprisingly enough, I find I don’t even want that right now.” His gaze dropped to the cleavage revealed by the open shirt. “I can’t give any guarantee how long my celibate mood will last, however. I think you know how much I desire you.” He smiled slightly as he noticed the unmistakable response to that casual glance and bent to brush his lips against the taut pink tip. “And you desire me too, don’t you, love? I don’t know how long either of us is going to hold out, but I think we ought to try.” His hands left her face to finish buttoning her shirt. “Sex has a way of confusing issues and I want everything between us to be crystal clear from now on.” The last button was fastened and he sat back on his heels. “You haven’t answered me.”

There was a flicker of anxiety in his eyes that melted any remaining protest she might have made. It was probably not wise, but she knew what her answer was going to be. He had touched her on too many levels for her to do anything else.

“You’ll have to clarify the question,” she teased. “All you’ve told me so far is what you
don’t
want to do.”

She could feel the tension ebb out of him. “If clarification is what you need, I’ll be glad to oblige.” He leaned forward and took her carefully in his arms and held her for a long, peaceful moment. Then he lifted her chin to look into her eyes. “I want you to let me be with you. I’ll postpone the stunts for a week but I still want you with me on the set. I want you by my side every minute we can squeeze into the day. I want to hold you in my arms like this whenever we get the chance, and when the opportunity presents itself, I want to kiss you.” His lips covered hers with a softness and tenderness that was so moving she could feel warmth unfold down deep inside her. He lifted his head. “Like that. We’ll leave the rest up to time and the winds of fate. Okay?”

“Okay,” she said softly. She wasn’t cold anymore despite the fact that she was still trembling. That glowing warmth was spreading through her like rays of sunlight. “We’ll leave it up to fate.”

He kissed her once more with slow, lingering tenderness. “Which will be a departure for both of us, my very pragmatic lady.” He drew a deep, shaky breath and released her. “Now I think it’s time I took you back to your cottage and let you get to bed.” He grimaced. “And I’ll go back to the set and see about rearranging the shooting schedule for next week.” He held up his hand as she started to protest. “It’s worth it,” he murmured. “That’s the way I want it.” He pulled her to her feet, his arm slipping around her waist possessively. He suddenly frowned. “You’re still shivering.”

“It’s nothing,” she said lightly. “I’ll have Yusef make me a cup of tea when I get home and I’ll be fine.”

“Yusef?” His face cleared. “I had forgotten Billie’s surprise package. I gather you’re not having any problems with him underfoot?”

“It wouldn’t matter if we were,” she said lightly. “Where Billie goes, so goes her faithful St. Bernard, complete with rescue brandy and very sharply pointed teeth. He’s appointed himself our
majordomo.
He keeps the cottage clean, washes our clothes, he’s even decided that the commissary food isn’t nourishing enough for Billie, so he cooks at least one meal a day.” She laughed. “I’m just on the outer fringe of all this devotion and I still feel smothered.”

He chuckled. “I can imagine how our little gypsy is reacting. I suppose he’s no longer sleeping on your doorstep?”

Kendra shook her head with an answering grin. “Billie moved his bedroll into a corner of the living room the night after I arrived. She was afraid he might catch cold. I’m not sure who’s adopting whom. It turns out Yusef knew some English and now she’s making him speak it all the time. I think she’s trying to prepare him for a vocation other than bordello bouncer. She may hit you for work for him any day now.”

“It wouldn’t surprise me,” Joel said dryly. “I just hope she doesn’t have
my
job in mind for him.” He opened the door and helped her down the steps. “At the moment I’d rather he be on hand to keep an eye on you.”

SIX

“I
WON’T STAND
for it,” Dirk Danford bellowed. “Do you hear me, Damon?”

Kendra and Billie looked up, startled, from where they were sitting a few yards from the cameras and lights of the set. The dark-haired Adonis of a million women’s daydreams was looking less than appealing at the moment with his face flushed an apopletic scarlet and his lips compressed in a tight line as he faced Joel and waved a scrap of black satin material in front of his face. Kendra shook her head wonderingly as she saw Joel turn away from the discussion he’d been having with the light director to gaze at Danford with glacier cool eyes. She’d discovered in the past weeks that Billie was right about the actor being a conceited lecher, but she hadn’t thought he was a complete fool. People didn’t talk to Joel Damon in that tone of voice, not even superstars.

“Joel,” Dirk continued, “you’ll have to get to the bottom of this or I walk.”

“I think not,” Joel said with utmost softness, but suddenly the atmosphere was several degrees cooler. “I believe even you’re more intelligent than that, Dirk. I have the final love scene between you and Brenna to film today and I want it in the can by evening. After that you can do whatever you damn well please.” He glanced at the scrap of material in Danford’s hand. “I gather that has something to do with this nonsense. What the hell is it?”

“My shorts.” Danford shook the underwear out dramatically. “Look at this. It will take me hours to get out all the knots and every pair in my dressing room has been sabotaged just like this.”

“Black satin jockey shorts?” Kendra whispered.

“Hasn’t he told you? Dirk’s a sex god,” Billie murmured.

“And that’s not all,” Dirk ranted on. “Two days ago someone chained shut the door of my trailer. It took me an hour of pounding and shouting before anyone came and got me out.”

“As popular as Dirk is around here, it was lucky it wasn’t a month,” Billie said sotto voce.

“And what about what happened yesterday to my shoes? How could one of every pair of shoes I possess simply disappear?” He lifted his foot. “Look at me. One tennis shoe and one moccasin. I look utterly ridiculous.”

Kendra couldn’t help it; she began to chuckle. The sound immediately brought the irate actor’s attention to the corner where she was sitting with Billie. Dirk’s frown took on a new dimension as he spotted Billie sprawled in the chair beside Kendra.

“You!” He stalked over to glare accusingly at her. “You know something about this, don’t you? Who did it?”

“Poltergeists?” Billie offered, blinking up at him innocently.

“Not likely,” Danford bit out through clenched teeth. “You’re finding all this very amusing aren’t you, Billie?” His hand delved into the pocket of his robe and brought out several sheets of memo paper. “I suppose you don’t know anything about these either?” He scowled as he read the first one. “As you lust, so shall you reap.” He read another one. “Thou shalt not covet thy producer’s wife.” He crumpled the notes and threw them on the floor. “I’ve been finding them in my dressing room, pinned to the pillow on my bed. I even stepped out of the shower stall yesterday and found one taped to the shower door.”

Kendra suddenly darted Billie a suspicious glance. What had Billie said about Brenna needing a little help? Oh Lord, poltergeists, indeed!

“Well, if the shoe fits,” Billie drawled. She covered her mouth with her hand. “Oops! Sorry. I forgot you were a bit sensitive on the subject of shoes.”

Joel was beside them now. “If you’re through making accusations and disrupting my set, I’d appreciate it if you’d occupy yourself elsewhere, Dirk.” His voice dripped sarcasm. “Preferably learning your lines. You blew them twice this morning.”

“But I saw that big Arab of hers skulking outside my dressing room,” Dirk sputtered. “I know she—”

“
Now,
Dirk,” Joel said with soft menace.

With a violent curse Danford turned on his heel and strode furiously toward his dressing room.

Joel turned to Billie, his eyes narrowed. “I don’t suppose you know a thing about all this, brat?”

“Who, me?” Billie asked, her eyes widening. “Do I look like the kind of girl who would invade a man’s privacy while he was in the shower?” She grinned impishly. “Though come to think about it, I might be the only woman on the set who’d be safe alone with a nude Dirk Danford.”

“I’m not at all sure that paraphrasing the Bible wouldn’t be considered blasphemy,” Kendra said, her eyes twinkling.

“Billie, I don’t know what you’re up to, but I won’t have you unnecessarily upsetting that ass,” Joel said impatiently. “I have a picture to finish.”

Billie jumped to her feet and squeezed Joel’s arm affectionately. “Don’t worry, Joel,” she said soothingly as she turned to leave. “The man obviously has no stamina. It will be over before you know it.”

Joel watched Billie walk away, exasperation warring with amusement in his expression. “
What
will be over before I know it?”

“I think it would be safer not to ask,” Kendra said dryly.

“You’re probably right.” He dropped into the seat Billie had just vacated. “That’s all I need, a personality conflict on the set.” He grimaced. “And with Billie involved, it will probably escalate into a major brouhaha.”

“You can handle it,” Kendra said quietly. In the past week she had practically lived in his pocket and she had discovered Joel could handle almost anything. He seemed to thrive on problems that would drive most directors into a rage. “I think you enjoy these little challenges.”

“Yes, I’ll handle it,” he said absently, his hand covering hers. “But I could do with a few less challenges at the moment. This week hasn’t worked out the way I hoped. I’ve scarcely been able to talk to you, much less anything else.”

“Anything else?” Kendra asked with a teasing smile.

The sexual tension had been growing steadily between them in the last few days, aggravated by the intensity of the schedule that kept them apart. Yet in a way she’d been glad of this hiatus. She’d enjoyed the casual intimacy of the occasional warm smile Joel gave her as he looked up from the storyboard or returned to the camera after setting up a bit of action. She liked the way he’d come over during a break to where she was quietly watching and just take her hand and hold it with calm affection. Sometimes he talked about the day’s shooting; sometimes he said nothing if he were trying to solve one of the myriad problems he faced every day. She even liked the way he would brush her cheek with an absentminded kiss when he left her to return to the fray. It was a lovingly intimate and commonplace gesture that a husband might make toward a wife of a dozen years.

“You know what I mean.” His green eyes were intent on her lips. “I haven’t even had a chance to touch you in the last three days.” His thumb caressed her inner wrist. “And I want to touch you, Kendra. I
need
it.”

She felt her lips tingle under that look and she pulled her gaze away from him with some difficulty. “You’ve been very busy. The picture is almost finished now, isn’t it?”

He nodded. “This is the last dialogue scene we’re shooting this afternoon.” His hand tightened on hers as his voice deepened with impatience. “And then I’ll have to go over the rushes tonight to see if anything has to be reshot before I let Brenna and Dirk leave Sedikhan tomorrow.” He scowled. “There’d better not be any. Michael Donovan doesn’t like Brenna doing these bedroom scenes when he’s not on the set. He sure as hell wouldn’t appreciate any retakes.” He leaned over and dropped a light kiss on Kendra’s forehead. “Tomorrow,” he promised as he got to his feet. “Even if we have to work until three in the morning to get the scene right, we’ll have some time together tomorrow.” He turned and walked quickly toward the number two camera beside the king-size bed that was the central focus on the set.

Maybe, Kendra thought wryly as she watched Joel, totally absorbed as he talked to the cameraman. Perfection couldn’t always be regimented and Joel was definitely a perfectionist.

“Hi, is it okay if I sit down or will Joel be coming back?”

Kendra glanced up to see Brenna Donovan smiling down at her.

“Not until the scene is over and from what he said that may mean hours.” She genuinely liked Brenna. Though Joel’s marathon schedule hadn’t given her much opportunity to get to know the actress, she found her to be not only a dedicated professional, but a warm and charming woman as well. She looked enchantingly lovely in a yellow chiffon negligee, her rich brown hair a shiny contrast to the delicate primrose shade. “You look absolutely beautiful, Brenna.”

Brenna made a face as she sat down. “Well, at least the gown itself isn’t see-through,” she said. “I’d hate to think Dirk was getting a free show every time he looked at me.”

“You’re nervous about doing this scene coming up?”

“A little,” Brenna admitted, her eyes fixed apprehensively on the bed. “Michael’s always been here before when I had to do something like this. I guess he thought it would be all right since Joel is directing. He has a great deal of respect for Joel.”

“Billie said you were having trouble with Dirk.”

“That’s putting it mildly.” Brenna sighed. “The man has as many hands as an octopus and you can’t believe his conceit! I’ve been dreading this particular scene all week. You’d be surprised what can go on under those covers even with thirty or forty people looking on.”

“You could tell Joel,” Kendra suggested. “He can’t do anything to help you if you don’t complain.”

Brenna’s lips tightened determinedly. “No, I can’t rely on Michael and Joel always to work out my problems. I’ll handle Dirk myself.”

“Just so it’s not the other way around,” Kendra said with a grin. “I hear your husband would react very forcefully if that happened.”

A tender smile curved Brenna’s lips. “Yes, he would. But then Michael is very forceful about most things.” Her brown eyes were wistful. “Great heavens, I miss the man! I can hardly wait to get on that plane for London tomorrow. This is the first separation we’ve had since we’ve been married. And long-distance calls every night just don’t cut it. He wanted to bundle the kids onto an airplane last week and bring them with him to Sedikhan. I almost wish I’d let him do it.”

“You have children?”

Brenna nodded. “Randy and Janine. They’re usually with us on location, but we thought it might be a little primitive here in Sedikhan, so we decided it would be better if they stayed in London with Michael.”

Kendra felt a swift surge of sympathy and a little of Billie’s indignation. Brenna was having a very unhappy time of it without her family and didn’t deserve the added problem of Dirk Danford to plague her.

“Oh, oh,” Brenna said gloomily. “Here comes Mr. Macho himself.” She watched balefully as Danford approached the set, wearing the same wine-velvet robe he had worn earlier. She stood up and tightened the belt of her robe. “Wish me luck. I’m probably going to need it.”

Brenna was gone for only a few moments when Billie plopped down beside Kendra and lazily stretched out her jean-clad legs. “Brenna really looks terrific, doesn’t she?” she asked cheerfully. “You’ll notice she doesn’t have big bazooms either. It’s almost enough to give me hope.”

“So you decided it was safe to come back,” Kendra teased. “You think Joel’s going to be too occupied to cross-examine you?”

Billie nodded, her gaze shifting from Joel, to Brenna, to Dirk. There was an anticipatory gleam in the violet depths of her eyes. “Yep, I figured I could stay out of Joel’s way here and still have a ringside seat for the great unveiling.”

“Unveiling?”

“Just watch and see,” Billie said. “One of the extras who worked on his last picture told me that Dirk pulled a tricky stunt that would have rivaled one of yours. I’m just betting he’ll do the same thing today. The man is sinfully unoriginal.”

Kendra gave her a puzzled glance before turning back to watch the action on the set.

Brenna was slipping off her negligee and getting into bed while Joel gave her a few last-minute instructions. Then Kendra’s gaze wandered to the opposite side of the bed where Danford was standing and she gasped incredulously. Danford was shrugging out of the velvet robe and he was totally nude!

“What did I tell you?” Billie murmured.

There was a wave of commentary on the set. Brenna’s eyes widened in shock, but Joel’s registered only impatience. “For God’s sake, Dirk, I told you nudity wouldn’t be required for this scene. It’s not going to be even close to sexually explicit. I’m shooting from the waist up.”

“I know that,” Dirk said with grandiose dignity. “However, I always believe in really getting into a part whenever possible.” He smirked at the snickers from the crew. “I think you’ll find that if I can relate, I turn in a far better performance.”

“Frankly, I don’t care if you wear bells on your toes and a codpiece,” Joel said, obviously annoyed. “Let’s just get this scene shot without any more delay.” He glanced at Brenna. “If Brenna has no objections?”

Brenna’s eyes were glinting angrily but her voice was cool. “I don’t see why I should object to something,” her gaze wandered over Danford’s body, “so trivial.”

This time the snickers became guffaws and Danford flushed angrily. He opened his lips to speak, but Joel turned away, carefully smothering a smile. “Good. Now that that’s settled, let’s get rolling. Into bed, Dirk.”

“Delighted,” Dirk drawled as he sat down on his side of the bed and lifted the covers. His smile was definitely feral as he slipped beneath the covers and slithered closer to Brenna. “This is what I’ve been waiting for ever since we started the picture.”

Billie suddenly leaned forward, her face tense with excitement. “Just a little more,” she urged softly. “Just a few inches more, Dirk baby.” As if in compliance, Dirk gave Brenna a smoldering look à la Richard Gere, and scooted still closer to her.

Suddenly his eyes widened in horror. He let out a bellow that shook the rafters of the room and brought Joel wheeling around to face him. Danford scrambled frantically out of the bed; his hands cupped his naked buttocks like a little boy who had just been spanked. “I’m on fire! I’m burning! Dammit, don’t just stand there; put it out!”