Captured Love (7 page)

The footmen, who still stood at the edge of the room,
looked away.

Meredith left her breakfast untouched, and returned to
her chamber, to hide. The bridge Lord Morton had crossed last night stood between
her and them again today, with a raging river of uncertainty, and violent
emotion flowing beneath it.

~

While Meredith was shopping with Rowena, and her
cousin Ellen, they met Lord Kendrick on Bond Street, and he insisted on
treating them to tea and cake at Gunter’s. Meredith was surprised to see Rowena
smile warmly at him. But then he seemed to be doing his utmost to please her,
and he was very solicitous and charming as he fussed over them all, his eyes
frequently on Rowena. It was Rowena he offered his arm to, too, as they walked
in and out of the shop.

Meredith was relieved by his presence. The tension which
had begun at breakfast had persisted all day, and despite Lady Eleanor chatting
merrily and questioning them both, apparently trying to break the silence
between them, Rowena had not conceded. Yet the trip to Gunter’s was only a
brief reprieve. Once they returned home, Rowena immediately retired to her room
and so, therefore, did Meredith. She was too unsure of everything to wander
about the house alone.

It was there, Lord Morton — Rupert, she had to
remember to call him that — found her later, as a maid was helping her prepare
for the evening.

They were going out to the Foley’s ball. He’d sent
word through her maid earlier, but Meredith was not dressed yet. She was standing
in her underwear, when he knocked on the door between their rooms, and he did
not then wait for her response.

She jumped as he opened it immediately, and then he
was in her room, as he had been last night, although this time he wore evening
dress. Her heart thumped. She remembered very clearly how he had looked without
it. His body had beautiful, muscular contours. They had caught the candlelight
as he’d made love to her, making his skin shimmer.

His eyes lowered, looking at her stocking-clad toes,
and then his gaze skimmed up her body, until he looked into her eyes. Then he
seemed to hesitate before speaking.

“Meredith, my mother wishes to meet you.”

Meredith’s mouth opened, but she did not know what to
say. Lady
Stanforth
had not wished to see her
yesterday. Rupert had told his cousin, his mother was too angry to face ‘the upstart’
he’d wed. Meredith had overheard them speaking. She also knew Lady
Stanforth
was very ill, and rarely left her rooms. So, it
meant they would not speak, unless his mother asked to speak to her.

If she tried to be nice, his mother would only respond
as Rowena had done, though.

Feeling a blush creep up her neck, Meredith let the
air slip out of her lungs. She could hardly refuse the meeting, and she had
brought this on herself.

She wondered if the hostility between
herself
, him and his family would ever ease?

She nodded.

“Very well, be ready in a half-hour and I shall
introduce you before dinner.” The words were blunt and sharp, though not
disparaging, and not judgmental — just not warm.

Meredith thought of how Lord Kendrick had spoken to
Rowena this afternoon, and longed for the same for herself. If only Rupert
would treat her with the same concern and politeness.

~

When Rupert came into Meredith’s room later, she felt
just as nervous as she had the night before. His mother had made it clear she
was unhappy with her son’s marriage and would never respect Meredith, but
seeing as Meredith had forced them all into this predicament, she was to ensure
she made Lord Morton a good wife.

With those words ringing in Meredith’s ears, she had
dined with him as they sat at opposite ends of the long table, with what seemed
a mile between them. Then in the carriage, on the journey to the Foley’s, he
and Rowena had sat next to each other, facing her, silent.

Meredith had longed to speak. She wished to swear to
them she had not intended this, but could not hold herself back from grasping
the one thing she’d wished for when the opportunity was there, within her reach.
She had wanted to be with Rupert.

At the ball he’d danced with her once, at the start, a
country dance, which meant he had no need to speak to her. Then he’d stood
speaking with his cousin while she’d danced with others. It had not even felt
as though they were married. Everything felt as it had before, except she’d lost
Rowena’s friendship.

Meredith had been crying in her room until the maid
came, to help her undress. Now she was in her nightgown and sitting in bed. She
hadn’t known whether to stand, or sit, or how to wait for him...

She smiled at him, desperately wishing to be the wife
he wanted.

He said nothing, but walked toward her, undoing his
dressing gown as he said, “Take off your nightgown.”

She began unbuttoning it, without rising, her fingers
shaking as pain burned the back of her throat and tears stung her eyes.

But then he was naked, and leaning over her, and his
presence and the beauty of his body overwhelmed her as he moved her fingers
away and took over the task.

Her heart beating, her eyes watched his face.

Once the buttons were loose, one of his hands slipped
inside and clasped her breast as his mouth came down on hers.

They had crossed the bridge which stood between them
in the day, again. He did not feel cold and distant anymore. He felt warm, and he
was close, and she felt loved as he touched her.

After a while, he took off her nightgown, and as he
did so, a spasm clasped in her stomach anticipating him there.

He had been there last night. She still ached a little
from his invasion.

Once they were both naked, he lay beside her and
touched her, his hands stroking everywhere, and hers caressed him, touching his
skin and feeling the muscle and sinew beneath.

When he touched her between her legs, she parted them
and touched him too.

He broke their kiss and looked down at her.

He’d left the candles burning, as he’d done the night
before, and she could see his face clearly. His eyes were bright.

“Meredith,” he said, before kissing her again. She did
not understand his pitch; it was half question, half statement. She continued
to touch him and he continued to touch her.

The sensation which had overtaken her last night stole
her senses away again before he was even within her, and when it did, he moved
over her, and she looked up into his eyes, holding on to his shoulders.

She held her breath as he entered, but it did not hurt
tonight. It felt blissfully completing.

He moved with determined strokes, watching her too.

She wanted to speak, but she was afraid to, in case it
broke the bridge, and he was distant again.

Her fingers cupped his face, and for the first time
she thought of him as truly hers. He was her husband. He
was
hers.

His hazel eyes shone as he moved steadily and watched
her, watching him.

She ached with love. She ached with need. Then he
stole her wits again, and her mind reeled, while he worked harder for a moment,
then pressed deep and cried out.

Her arms slipped about his neck, and she clung to him,
and felt his weight lay more heavily on her.

She did not want him to leave her body, when he
withdrew and pulled away — she did not want him to leave her bed. But she had
to let him go; she could hardly force him to stay with her. Yet she wanted to
keep standing on this bridge with him, and not let him put distance between
them again.

He rolled onto his back, and lay beside her, and his
forearm fell onto his forehead.

She wished to lie on her side and hug him but she did
not dare. Looking up at the canopy of the bed, she said to the air. “I did not
intend anything to happen that night...”

His arm lifted and he turned onto his side.

“Rupert... I have —”

His fingers covered her lips. “Let’s not speak about
it. What is done is done.”

He lay back, then set his arm about her and drew her head
to his shoulder. “Sleep now, Meredith. I’ll be waking you in a little while.”

She did sleep, cuddling up against him, held as she had
never been held.

Part
Three

Lord Morton, Rupert — she could not
get used to calling him by his given name — was in the breakfast room, when Meredith
entered, as w
as Rowena.

He stood.

She moved to take her seat at the end of the table, opposite
where Rupert sat, but he beckoned her forwards, as he’d done yesterday morning.

“Sit here, Meredith.”

He’d only left her an hour ago, after making love to
her a third time.

Oh
, it might not have been love, but it felt like love.
He looked at her and touched her with such adoration when they were in bed.

He’d woken her in the middle of the night, and moved
over her. That time had been a precious, very slow, languorous coupling. Then this
morning he’d drawn her on top of him.

She felt soft and warm inside, and her senses still
tingled with the intimate pleasure he’d given her, just recently.

She was unsure if the bridge stood between them, now,
here. It had not an hour ago.

His hand beckoned her again and he smiled.

Her heart flooding with emotion, she walked forward.
She loved him so much, all she wished for was that he would love her in return;
or at least,
like,
her.

When she reached him, he caught hold of her hand and
then kissed her fingers before encouraging her to sit.

Her heart thumped and her breath caught in her chest
as she did. His kiss, on her fingers, had been gentle, and felt like adoration,
as his love making had. She knew she was blushing. She would make him happy. She
would do her best to be all he wished.

When she looked up, Rowena was staring.

Meredith smiled.

Rowena did not.

“I thought I would take you out today, Meredith. What
would you say to a drive out of London to an inn I know near Windsor? We might
walk a little way along the river afterward.”

Rowena’s head spun to face her brother.

Meredith blushed harder as she looked at him, too, and
met his hazel gaze, which shone gold in the morning light.

“We must get to know one another better.”

Her heart swelling with joy, she nodded.

“Good.” He looked at Rowena then. “Will you join us?”

“No. I’ll stay here and go out with Ellen instead.”

“Very well.
I will leave you to eat then, Meredith, and order my
phaeton made ready.”

Once he’d gone, Meredith faced Rowena. “Please come?”

“So you have me to shelter behind? No. You must face
the situation you created.” Rowena’s voice was bitter.

“I want you to come, because you are my friend, and I
do not like —”

“Friends do not trap one another’s brothers.” Rowena
stood.

A knock struck the open door. Owens, the butler, stood
there. “Lady Rowena?”

“Yes, Owens.”

“I have a message for you. Lord Kendrick sent a boy to
say he will call for you in an hour, my Lady.”

Meredith’s gaze span
from the butler, to her friend.
Rowena was blushing now.
“Rowena?”

“Thank you, Owens.” After dismissing the butler, Rowena
then glanced about the footmen in the room. “You may all go.”

Meredith stood as the footmen filed out. “Rowena?” she
said again, once the men had gone.

“You are not to judge, and you are not to say a thing
to Rupert. You’re going out. He won’t know.”

“Is this wise, though? Where are you going?”

Rowena’s chin tipped up. “Lord Kendrick asked if I
would meet his children. I said I would. He is bringing the two eldest and a
groom. We are going to Green Park and we will have a picnic there. It is
nothing inappropriate.”

“You should tell Rupert and ask your cousin’s wife to
accompany you.”

“No, Rupert would make a fuss and I cannot speak
openly if Ellen is there. I am not going to be alone with Lord Kendrick.”

“Rowena, it is not sensible. Shall I stay, and come
with you? I
wou
—”
 

“I like him, Meredith. I wish to spend some time with
him. You of all people should understand...”

“I did not trick Rupert with deliberation, Rowena. I
sought your friendship because you were kind to me, and I like you. I care for
you, and I fell in love with Rupert. Do nothing foolish, Rowena... I shall stay
here....”

“Do you regret what you did to Rupert?” Rowena asked
suddenly as they stood with the table between them, her gaze holding
Meredith’s.

“No.” Meredith did not, not now she thought he might
learn to love her. “I am going to make him happy, Rowena. I promise.”

Rowena sighed. “Very well, I will give you a chance to
prove your affection for him, but you must give me a chance to explore my own
for Lord Kendrick —”

“It is not the same, Rowena. He is —”

“Caring and kind, and I like him.”

“Rowena?”

“Say nothing to Rupert,” Rowena said, before turning
away, and then she left the room, hurrying off, giving Meredith no chance for further
argument.

~

Rupert glanced at his wife for the umpteenth time as
she walked slowly beside him.

Her fingers were a gentle pressure on his arm, and
wisps of her auburn hair had crept free from the confines of her bonnet, and
caressed her neck.

She was
talking,
speaking of
her childhood and how she missed the mother she’d never really known. He was
listening with only half his mind. The other half was transfixed by imagining
the figure beneath the pale blue muslin gown she wore today.

The dress was very pretty, mind, it had a pattern of
printed forget-me-nots, and her straw bonnet matched it perfectly, with a sprig
of flowers and blue ribbon. She looked gorgeous, and he’d never noticed before
just how gracefully she moved. But, of course, before, she’d always clung to Rowena.

She hadn’t needed his sister as a foil. Meredith was
more exquisite when she stood alone.

His fingers covered those lying on his arm and a warm
feeling spread within his chest, as though it leaked from his heart. Grays? Was
that what he was seeing now, the shades which added depth to a person?

“Meredith, why did you do what you did that night, and
why did you befriend Rowena?”

She stopped and looked up at him, her eyes wide, and
shining with an unspoken question.

“Tell me honestly and then let us set it aside...”

She bit her lip for an instant, but then she spoke. “I
love you.”

The words pierced him like a sharp, pointed knife
blade. Did she? It made him feel odd, and strange emotions warred within his
chest as she continued.

“I did not plan it, Lord Mor... Rupert, I swear I did
not, but I wanted... you... And then my father told me he had signed a marriage
contract with his partner.”

Rupert had not realized the agreement with
Perrigrew
had actually been made.

“You spoke to me and you were there, that night, and
you had never really spoken to me... I’m sorry, I just took the chance. I did
not think. But I did not make friends with Rowena to do what I did. Rowena has been
the only proper friend I’ve ever had...”

More grays.

He bent and kissed her. He was inclined to believe
her, her eyes had glowed with sincerity.

When he straightened again, he looked into those eyes,
one hand now gripping hers and his other at her nape. “Do you regret what you
did? Are you sorry?”

She shook her head, immediately. “I’m not sorry, not
at all. Not if it can be like this.”

He stared at her, his answer building like wildfire
within him. He was not sorry either. If she had not done what she’d done, then
he would never have seen the shades been black and white. He would not be
discovering the things he was now. Like how good it felt to have a willing,
vibrant woman waiting in bed for him at night. “I am not sorry either,” he
whispered over her lips, the moment before he kissed her again.

He could very easily become deeply attached to this
girl, and he felt himself falling as he kissed her. He wondered if this was how
Edward had felt when he’d met Ellen.

She broke the kiss, looking suddenly hesitant. “Oh
Rupert, I have to tell you. I am your wife, and no matter how much I love
Rowena, too, I cannot keep this secret from you.”

What
secret?
His eyes, perhaps,
asked the question, because she answered without him asking.

“Rowena has gone out with Lord Kendrick.”

“Kendrick? To what end?”

“He wished her to meet his children.”

“She is not with Ellen?” He did not know what to
think.

“No, she’s gone alone, but they were going to the park.
They will be in the open, and there will be the children and a groom —”

“Even so, Meredith, where are they?”

He turned back to his carriage, feeling a rush of
anger, but she grasped his arm. “Do not be angry with her, Rupert, please. She’ll
know I told you, and she will hate me more. We saw him yesterday, too. He took
us all to Gunter’s. I don’t think he’ll do her any harm, Rupert. I had to tell
you, though. It doesn’t feel right to keep secrets from you.”

“Yet you would rather I do nothing?”

She nodded, and for the first time he saw she was
afraid of him. It was in her eyes. Uncertainty and insecurity shone there. Had
she been afraid of him before?
In love with him and afraid of
his poor—opinion?

He’d made no secret of how little he thought of her.
He’d seen black or white, when there was definitely a vast spectrum in between,
not just grays. She had, of course, forced him into this match. A burning
gladness ran through him. He was not only, not sorry. He was glad she’d done
it.

“Very well.”
He set Rowena’s situation from his mind, something he
had not been able to do for years, and turned to walk along the river path
again, keeping a hold of Meredith’s hand, and he asked her another question,
feeling warmth wrap about his heart.
 

Was
this how Edward felt?
It was new uncharted, unsteady, ground for Rupert.

~

In the evening, Rupert watched Rowena closely when
they went to the Hartford’s ball. She danced with Kendrick, twice, and she
smiled at him, no longer looking wary. But surely she could not be interested
in Kendrick? Yet she ate super with him, too, after their second dance. Ellen
and Edward sat with them, and the conversation seemed continuous and easy from
what Rupert could see as he sat across the room with Meredith.

Meredith touched his arm, drawing his attention back
to her. She’d done it deliberately, he guessed, to stop him staring at Rowena.
His observation had probably been too obvious; others were looking at Rowena
and Kendrick now. In reality, Kendrick had done nothing wrong. Rupert put
Rowena from his mind, and focused on Meredith.

He had introduced her to his other cousin, Edward’s
brother, Robert, tonight.

Robert then ribbed Rupert mercilessly for a half-hour,
while Meredith was dancing. He thought it highly amusing that Rupert had been
snared — and snared so unwillingly. Yet he’d told Rupert, when Rupert protested,
not to complain if a beautiful young woman wanted him so much she’d felt forced
into laying a trap for him.

Robert’s view was Rupert should be flattered.

Rupert did feel flattered, tonight. Meredith was sitting
beside him, smiling openly, with none of the coercion he’d sensed previously,
and she chattered merrily with his acquaintances, who’d come to congratulate
him on his choice of wife, even though they all knew his hand had been forced.

She seemed so different to the person he thought he’d
known.

He danced a waltz with her after supper. It was not
like their first waltz. He was starting to barely recognize the man who’d
danced with her then. It seemed it was not only Meredith he’d seen another side
to. This man felt companionship, need and cherishment as he danced with her,
holding her gaze and smiling as he looked forward to tonight.

She smiled, too. Not the smile which had always
angered him, but another, a new one, one, which caught as light shimmering in
her blue eyes, too.

His heart beat steadily.
 

~

When Rupert came downstairs the following morning,
Rowena was waiting in the hall, looking up at him.

“Good morning, Rowena.”

“Oh Rupert.”
She rushed forward. “I have to tell you something,
and you must listen.”

He took her hand to stop her outburst as she neared
him. “Tell me while I eat, Rowena. I’m hungry.”