Cara's Twelve (14 page)

Picking up the patchwork quilt that lay on the edge her bed, she hugged it to her chest and tried to make sense of everything that had happened. So much had changed since she had left, and she mourned not only her father, but the girl she had once been. Tears had evaded her, and even now she couldn't push past the feeling that she was slowly drowning. If she could cry or scream she might be able to feel something other than the heaviness and numbness, but she could do neither.

“Come in,” she said, at the knock on the door, as she turned expecting to see Finn. A dark hooded figure entered the room and shut the door. Cara took an apprehensive step backwards and then gasped as the girl pulled her hood back to expose her auburn hair and alabaster skin. “Maeve!”

Maeve glanced down at the floor and fidgeted. “Can I speak with you?”

“You shouldn't be here,” Cara said sternly. “Anyone could have seen you.”

“I know,” she said, looking uncomfortable and self-conscious. “But you haven't come to see me since I said those terrible things to you, and I had to come and apologize.” She took a step forward and paused at Cara's reserve. “I'm so sorry Cara. Really I am. I didn't mean any of it. I was trapped in self-pity and I wasn't thinking of anyone but myself. Everything you said to me was true. Can you ever forgive me?”

Cara stared at her, but she couldn't bring herself to respond. Of course she forgave her, so why couldn't she say the simple words to relieve the look of guilt that marred Maeve's face?

The silence stretched between them, and Maeve took another tentative step towards her.

“I'm sorry about your loss,” she said quietly. “I know you loved your father very much.”

The genuine sympathy in her cousin's voice broke through the numbness, and she blinked back tears that threatened to spill over her cheeks.

“You've spoken with Reyn then,” Cara said, changing the subject, before she lost what little control she had over her emotions.

Maeve nodded and gave her a sheepish look. “What you said in the carriage? I want you to know that I haven't encouraged his feelings. I wouldn't do that to you. That's why I've decided to leave.”

That startled Cara. “What are you talking about?”

“I've been talking to Tahdaon——”

“Tahdaon,” Cara repeated.

“He's offered to arrange transportation and sanctuary for me, far north of the Dalglieshan capital. A city called Muir. He has family there, and it's far past the reaches of the palace. No one will know me there, and if they do recognize me, they have no more love for the Queen than I do. I will be safe. It will be a fresh start.”

Cara shook her head and stared in disbelief at her cousin. “You can't leave,” she stated simply.

“I can't stay, Cara. My presence alone puts you and the others at risk.”

“Then you'll stay here. With Herron and Callion.”

“And place Reyn's brothers in danger?” Maeve shook her head. “I won't do it.”

“You can't be serious? You're still recovering, and what makes you think you can even trust Tahdaon?”

“What makes you think I can't?”

Cara let out a frustrated breath.

When Cara didn't respond, Maeve continued, “He's already booked a passage for me, two weeks from tomorrow, on a boat leaving out of Tenger Harbor.”

“Two weeks?” Tenger Harbor was a half a day's ride from Herron's estate. It was one of the last functioning harbors along the Crowthornian and Hellstrom border. “Have you talked to Reyn about this?”

Maeve hesitated, and Cara knew the answer.

“So you're just going to leave him? Without as much as a good bye? After everything he's done for you?” Cara's voice raised in alarm. “He's in love with you. How could you do that to him?”

Maeve's lips began to tremble, and when she spoke her voice shook with emotion. “He's not mine to love Cara. By the laws of Annul he has pledged his life to you. I'm not a fool. I know his feelings, and I also know that the longer I stay the harder it will be for me to leave, or for him to let me go. Tahdaon has supplied a solution that benefits us all.”

“Tahdaon,” Cara said his name as if it were a curse. “And what does he want in return for his generosity?”

Maeve's brows turned downwards and she shook her head. “Nothing.”

Cara didn't believe that for a second, but he was the least of her concerns. “You want to leave? Then take Reyn with you.”

Maeve's eye's narrowed. “It's not possible. There are rules.”

“Rules can be broken.”

And sometimes it was easier to break rules then to follow them
, Cara thought.

Maeve had suffered enough in her life, and pain constricted in Cara's throat as she remembered the torture and abuse her cousin had suffered. If Maeve truly loved Reyn then Cara would do everything in her power to make sure they weren't separated.

“Do you love him?” Cara asked, and watched as Maeve's face changed and betrayed her feelings.

“What?”

“You heard me. Do you love Reyn?”

“Yes,” she answered, as her face turned red and tears welled in her eyes.

Cara nodded, satisfied with Maeve's answer. Until now she hadn't known for sure if Maeve returned Reyn's feelings. “Then we will figure this out. He will go with you to the Northern Province and you will start your new life together.”

She shook her head and frowned. “What you're saying is impossible. He's bound by blood to you. He might as well be your husband for all purposes of the law.”

“I will release him from his vows.”

Maeve's frown deepened. “And leave Crowthorne with an advocate, scorned and shamed throughout the country.”

Cara hesitated and thought about the implications. She smiled as she realized what she had to do. “I am the Crowthornian advocate. Crowthorne needs no other. As for Reyn bringing disgrace to his family and his name, I think I know a way to prevent that. Go back to your chambers and stay there until I tell you otherwise.”

“What are you going to do?”

Cara pulled the dark hood over her cousin's head. “Let me worry about that. Now go. I'll come to you soon. And Maeve,” she said, squeezing her cousin's hand. “I forgive you.”

Herron paced in front of the large fireplace, while Finn, Callion, and Helfrich sat at the small circular breakfast table with their arms and legs crossed. Reyn leaned against the post of Herron's large bed, rubbing the back of his neck, while Tahdaon watched the proceedings in silence from the far corner of the room.

The only reason Tahdaon was there was because she needed him if her plan was going to work. She didn't like having to trust him, but at this point she had no other choice.

Herron looked at her skeptically. “What you're suggesting not only puts Reyn at risk, but everyone who's involved.”

“I know,” Cara said, searching the faces of the five other men that had congregated in Herron's private chambers. What she saw was a mix of emotions, most of which was apprehension and unease.

Herron stopped pacing and locked eyes with Reyn. “You're sure you want to do this?”

Reyn nodded. “Whether you help us or not, I will go with her.”

“And break your vows to Cara?” Callion scoffed.

“She has already released me from those vows,” Reyn said, but Cara saw the guilt in his eyes as he said the words.

She stepped forward and placed her hand reassuringly on Reyn's arm. “You swore to protect me always. You do that by keeping Maeve safe. She is a part of me, and I couldn't live with myself if I knew she was alone and unprotected. You do this as much for me as for yourself.”

Reyn gave her an appreciative smile.

“I have no objection to Reyn leaving with Maeve,” Finn said, rubbing his hands over his face in agitation. “But there has to be a way to do this without putting Cara at risk.”

“I agree,” Callion urged, pushing his chair back and standing so his hands rested on the table. “What if something goes wrong and we can't get her out in time?”

“I'm willing to take that risk,” she said, walking over to the table where she had drawn out a detailed plan. She placed her palms on the table and mirrored Callion's stance, looking him square in the face.

Beside her, Finn shook his head and raked his hands through his hair. “There's too many variables that could go wrong. I won't let you do this.”

She looked down at him. “It's not your choice to make.”

“I agree with Finn,” Helfrich said, placing his hand over hers. “There has to be another way that doesn't involve you risking your life.”

She shook her head and looked down at the plans on the table. “The only way this is going to work is if everyone thinks that Reyn is dead.”

“This is insane.” Callion pushed away from the table, stormed to where his brother stood and shoved his finger against Reyn's chest. “You're just going to stand there and let her risk her life for you? Bloody coward,” he shouted, and turned on the other men. “All of you!”

“Cal,” Cara said softly, using the pet name she used to call him when they were children together. She placed her hand on his cheek and made him look into her eyes. “Life is a risk. You and I know that better than anyone. How many people have we lost because of no fault of their own? We can't make decisions based on fear. If I can give Reyn and Maeve, two people that I care deeply about, the chance to be free, and choose not to, then it's me who's the coward. Please don't fight me on this.”

Callion let out an elongated breath and searched her face. Finally, he muttered, “All right.”

“Thank you.”

“Then it's settled,” Herron said behind her, and sat down in the seat Callion had occupied. “Let's go over the plan once more.”

The men positioned themselves around the table, and Cara let out a deep breath as she watched them pick apart her plans, adding their own opinions and recommendations. It would work, she knew it would. She trusted these men with her life, and she knew they would work out the details to the best of their abilities.

Turning to leave, she caught Tahdaon watching her. He had been silent through the whole proceedings, and she had almost forgotten that he was there. His expression stopped her cold. What was it she saw beneath the icy blue depth? Appreciation? Respect? He gave a curt nod and looked away, his face once again a stone mask.

Cara sighed and left the room.

She didn't understand why Tahdaon was helping them, but whatever the reason, it was clear that everything rested on him keeping his word. Maeve and Reyn were willing to trust him, and for them she would let go of her resentment and put her faith in him.

* * *

Cara hugged Maeve one last time.

“It's time to go,” Tahdaon said, grabbing Maeve's bag and throwing it into the wagon.

Cara tried to ignore the sensation that tickled her skin at the sound of his voice.

She pulled back and studied her cousin. Maeve's red hair had been dyed black with an oily concoction that Helfrich had prepared, and the dress she wore was as old and tattered as the dirty shawl she had tied to her head. To anyone who took notice, she appeared to be nothing more than a Crowthornian servant girl travelling north to find work in one of the more affluent provinces.  

“Be safe,” Cara said, and kissed her cousin's cheek.

Maeve stepped into the wagon that Tahdaon had prepared. He would wait with her a few hours ride from Herron's estate until Reyn met them later that night.

Tahdaon's eyes fixed on hers, and if she didn't know any better she would think that he was worried for her.

“Thank you for doing this,” she said, and turned to leave, but before she could take a step, he grabbed her wrist and stopped her.

His grip was tight, and his expression darkened as he stared down at her.

“Be careful tonight,” he growled.

All she could do was nod and swallow past the lump in her throat. She had seen the same expression on his face only once before, and the memory sent shivers down her spine.

She stood moments later, staring after the departing wagon, and took a deep breath to dispel her nerves.

“Are you okay?”

Cara jumped at the sound of Finn's voice. She had forgotten that he was there.

She turned and tried her best to smile, “I will be once this night is over.”

“You and I both,” he said and opened his arms for her.

She went to him, placed her cheek against his chest, and relaxed into his embrace. “Is everything ready?”

He nodded against her head and then leaned back to look at her. “Did you know there is only one functioning temple left in all of Crowthorne?”

The shock in his voice made her smile. “Many of our people lost their faith years ago, and without any aid from the palace or tithes from the people, the priestesses couldn't support the maintenance.”

“Then who presides over all the festivals and ceremonies?”

Cara shrugged. “Crowthorne can barely feed its poor. There's no money to waste for festivities. You have no idea what Herron has sacrificed for tonight's festival, or even just to house us these past weeks. Every coin spent means one more person will go hungry this winter.”

Finn's brows knit in a frown. “It's not right.”

“No. It's not,” she agreed, placing her hands on his chest. “But once this tour is over, and I take the throne, I will do everything in my power to change it.”

Finn kissed her brow and breathed, “I know you will.”

* * *

The autumn equinox, or the festival of thanksgiving as some would call it, had once been a great holiday among the Crowthornians, but as disease and poverty had devastated the province, the people found very little to be thankful for. It had been many years since the festival had been celebrated on the rocky cliffs overlooking the decimated trading harbor of Port Town, and Cara was overwhelmed by how many of her people had made the long journey to witness her commencement.

Already she could hear the people calling her by name, as if it were her and not Annul that they prayed to.

Cara shivered as a cold gust wind whisked through the tent. The temperature had dropped over the past week, and she was grateful for the pelt lined cloak she wore. Through the small opening in the tent, she could see that the sun was starting to set, and she took a deep breath to prepare herself for what she was about to do.

Unlike the festival in Lydd, there was no chanting, no hallucinatory smoke burning her eyes, only a single elderly priestess whose shoulders hunched painfully under her simple grey robe.

The woman hummed softly, as she made a sign of blessing on Cara's breast and brow.

“Annul is with you child, and her heart beats within your own.” The priestess' voice cracked, and she placed a small age-weathered hand on Cara's cheek.  “Many trials will come, and you will suffer many losses along your journey, but the goddess will never abandon you. Everything that once was will soon be destroyed, but in the darkness Annul will plant a seed of light. Do not lose faith, for you are her chosen vessel, and although you will falter, she will not forsake you.”

Cara shivered at her words and watched as the woman continued to shuffle around the tent, humming, while mixing dried plants and flowers with a stone mortar and pestle. Pouring the contents of the stone bowl into a goblet, she mixed the herbs with red wine and handed it to Cara.

Cara shook her head and pushed the cup away. “If you'll forgive me, I think I'll pass.”

The woman smiled and urged her to take the goblet. “Drink, child, there's nothing harmful in my herbs. It will open your mind to the goddess' voice.”

Cara took the cup and looked down at the contents and sighed. Her stomach tightened, and she repressed a shudder as she drank the wine quickly.

Taking the cup from her, the woman patted Cara's shoulder and continued to hum as she went back to busying herself.

The tent flap lifted and Herron poked his head in. He cleared his throat and smiled as he entered and looked at her. “You look lovely Cara. Your father would be proud. May the goddess be with you tonight and always.”

Cara heard the hidden meaning in his words and she nodded solemnly.

Herron motioned for her to take her position beside him. She placed her hand on his extended forearm and followed the priestess out of the tent.

She blinked in shock as the crowd erupted in cheers.

Torches lit the landscape, and in the dying light of the autumn sun Cara took her place on the stone altar. The cheers turned to reverent silence, and one by one Cara watched as the people bowed before her.

With hands outstretched to the fading sun, her skin grew warm despite the cold wind that blew off the sea behind her. She let her gaze travel across the familiar and unfamiliar faces before her.

Cara blinked as her eyes rested on a woman who stood alone near the edge of the cliff.

Mother?

It was impossible, a trick of the light perhaps, but as she continued to watch, the woman began walking towards her. Cara's mouth went dry and she swallowed past the lump in throat as the ghostly image came to stand before her.

Cara wanted to scream, to run, but her body went heavy, as if it were made of stone.

The woman wore her mother's face, or at least the face that Cara remembered, but her skin shone unnaturally, and her eyes were unlike anything Cara had ever seen. It was as if the swirling silvery blue gaze could see to the very depth of her soul.

This was clearly a hallucination from the herbs the priestess had given her.

What was it with these women wanting to drug her?

The woman smiled as if she had heard Cara's thoughts.

“Daughter of Elara, you have found favor in my sight.”

Cara didn't know if the words were spoken out loud or only in her head, but as the ghostly figure reached out and touched Cara's forehead, an energy vibrated through her entire body. Closing her eyes, she threw her head back as heat pulsated down her arms to the tips of her fingers. Moments passed, and when she opened her eyes the woman was gone, but there were words on her tongue that she needed to speak.

“People of Crowthorne, do not lose hope. Annul has seen your suffering, and she weeps for the pain you have endured at her daughter's hand. Have faith and stand strong, for it is now, as it was in the beginning, when the goddess first came to land and saw the wickedness that ruled it. She has come to cleanse her kingdom of the evil that oppresses the innocent. When the waters return, and your fields no longer lie fallow, then you will remember the faithfulness of Annul.”

The words had come from her own mouth and yet they were not her own. Cara shivered and sank to her knees on the cold stone altar.

A murmur of awe spread through the crowd.

“Annul has spoken,” the elderly priestess intoned, and began the incantations that would further bind Cara to the province and its people.

The remainder of the ceremony was a blur.

When she entered the wooden hut and saw the corpse lying on the bed, she had to cover her mouth with her hands to stop from crying out in fear.

“Are you all right?” Reyn said, as he entered behind her.

Even though she knew it was part of their plan, she couldn't stop herself from trembling.

Reyn grabbed her hands and began warming them in his own. “You're freezing.”

“Did you see her?”

“Who?”

“The red haired woman. On the altar. Did you see her?”

Reyn's brows turned down in a frown, and he shook his head.

Cara's blood ran cold, and her teeth began to chatter.

“Hey,” Reyn said, tilting her chin to make her look at him. “Are you okay? Are you sure you want to do this?”

Cara nodded. She had to get herself under control. There was too much at stake to allow fear to overwhelm her, but she couldn't stop thinking about the woman, and her eyes kept darting to the corpse that lay on the bed.

“The wind has picked up. Make sure to start the fire on the bed, not near the doorway. The building was poorly made, and it will go up quickly. Once the body is fully engulfed you have to leave immediately. Cara,” he urged, grabbing her arms. “Did you hear me?”

She shook her head and looked away from the body. “Yes, of course.”

Reyn reached under the table and pulled out a box that contained a small bag of coins, a cloak and a scabbard. Fastening the scabbard and bag to his waist, he tied the cloak around his neck and pulled the hood over his head.