Career Girl in the Country / The Doctor's Reason to Stay (13 page)

M
ATT
woke with a start and stretched out to feel for Poppy but his arm and hand only connected with cool sheets. A vague memory slowly formed and he recalled Poppy’s phone ringing, her quietly murmured conversation, his grunted ‘Do you need me?’

And her lips on his cheek as she’d said, ‘Go back to sleep.’

But now he was awake and the green light of the bedside clock said 5:00 a.m. With a groan, he closed his eyes and as his head hit the pillow he gratefully accepted that at least it wasn’t three. He hated 3:00 a.m., when there was still so much night left and no more ability to sleep. It became a long slog, waiting for the dawn, and so as not to disturb Poppy, he’d get up and go and pace the floors at his house.

His eyes shot open so abruptly that the muscles ached. He hadn’t woken up at 3:00 a.m. all this week.
It’s been longer than that.
He worked backwards and realised with a start that he couldn’t recall an early wake-up since he’d told Poppy about Annie, and that had been three weeks ago.

With a contented sigh, he rolled over, tugging at the sheet, intending to grab one extra precious hour of sleep, but his brain, already jolted awake, buzzed
with ideas for the foundation. He accepted defeat, got up, walked into the pre-dawn chill—the only time Bundallagong was cool—and let himself into his house.

The long hallway echoed as he walked towards the kitchen and the house smelled musty, like it needed a good airing. He filled the kettle and then picked up the folder marked ‘Lisa’s Way’, which he’d left on the table next to his laptop two nights ago. Grabbing a pen, he quickly scrawled down the name of Lisa’s bead supplier that had been eluding him, along with some ideas to run past Sarah for a fundraising night at the neighbourhood centre. That done, he made coffee and set the plunger to rest on the top of the carafe while it brewed, and then opened the fridge for the milk.

A malodorous scent greeted him, the milk having become yoghurt and a lone lettuce now a ball of slime. He hastily dumped both in the bin and searched the pantry all the way to the back for some long-life milk. There was none. How could that be? He knew he was a poor shopper, but UHT milk was a staple that even in his darkest days he’d always had.

You’re virtually living with Poppy.

The thought rocked him. He poured sugar into his coffee, stirring it fast as he grappled with his thoughts. Running back over the events of the last few weeks, the truth stared him in the face. He’d hardly been here. The reality was that he’d only been using his place to shower, change clothes, do laundry, and when Poppy was held up at work he’d come back here to do some foundation work.

Not even then.

He sat down hard in a chair as his legs trembled. Last week he’d spent an evening at her place working
on Lisa’s Way while Poppy had been at choir practice because being over there was so much more pleasant than being here.

He heard the dawn thumping of Rupert but instead of being much-needed noise, he suddenly saw in his mind’s eye the damage the reptile was likely inflicting on the roof. He looked around the room as if seeing it with new eyes, and for the first time the house didn’t seem to be mocking him with its silence or its memories. He stood up and slowly walked the length and breadth of the house. Starting by opening the door to Annie’s room, he systematically visited every other room in the house until he stood in the stripped-bare master bedroom. A room he’d avoided with the exception of the night Poppy had arrived.

He girded himself for the expected onslaught of pain, sadness and grief, the way it had been when he’d first arrived home from the Pacific, and the reason he’d moved to the guest room. But the house no longer spoke to him about loss—it didn’t really speak to him at all.

Lisa and Annie were no longer part of the house.

The news should have broken his heart but instead it soothed it and an odd peace settled over him. His love for Lisa now resided in the creation of the foundation and his love for Annie poured into his work whenever he had scared and sick kids in the ED.

He ran his hand through his hair. He was no longer part of the house, either.

It’s time.

He blew out a long breath laden with relief. He’d loved his wife and daughter dearly but now the time had come for him to move on with his life. Shoving his hands in his pockets, he glanced out the window at the
house he’d come to think of as Poppy’s place, despite the fact many people had lived in the house over the years.
Poppy.

Her lips matched her name and she was a bright spark of colour in what had been a very black time of his life. God, he enjoyed being with her. She made him laugh, she challenged him and at times frustrated the hell out of him, but she was the first person he thought of when he woke up in the morning and the last person he thought of when he closed his eyes at night.

That’s love.

His chest tightened on his sharp intake of breath and he gripped the architrave.
Love.
The spasm faded, followed by a wave of warmth and the tendrils of belonging.

It
was
love.

He loved her.

He started to grin like a fool, his cheeks aching with happiness. She’d stormed into his life all attitude and vibrant energy and turned his grieving world upside down. Somewhere along the way he’d moved into her house and she’d moved into his heart. Now he couldn’t imagine his life without her.

With a plan forming in his mind, he stepped out of the house and gently closed the door behind him.

Poppy stepped out of the theatre change rooms into the main hospital corridor and suddenly found herself being twirled around, pulled into strong arms and kissed so soundly her legs gave way.

Matt’s sparkling brown eyes stared down at her as his fingers caressed her cheek. ‘Hello.’

‘Hel—’ Her mouth stalled as her brain received the
image from her eyes. Her hands flew to his hair, her fingers unaccountably aching as they tried unsuccessfully to lose themselves in the now short strands ‘Oh. Your hair, it’s …’ She finally found her voice. ‘You’ve had it cut.’

He grinned. ‘I have. It was time.’

She’d always loved the way his hair reached his jawline, reminding her of a pirate. ‘Why?’

But instead of replying, he just gave her a secret smile and pulled her into the on-call room and locked the door. A small white-cloth-covered table held a platter of freshly made sandwiches along with two bottles of fruit juice and a plate of what looked like peppermint slice. ‘Lunch for two, courtesy of the kitchen.’

She smiled and kissed him, reminding herself of her plan to treasure every last moment with him. ‘Lovely idea. I’m starving.’ She greedily picked up a sandwich and started eating. ‘Hmm, this is so good. Why haven’t we done this before?’

‘I guess we didn’t have a reason to celebrate before.’

Her hand fell from her mouth and she stared at him in surprise. How did he know William had offered her the post of Chief of Surgery at Perth City? She hadn’t told anyone. She’d read the email five times and had waited for the rush of joy that she’d finally got the job of her dreams, the one she’d been working towards for years. But instead of a rush it had been more of a slow trickle, as if she couldn’t really believe she’d finally nailed it. But she had. The job was hers and the endpoint to her time in Bundallagong had arrived, as she’d always known it would. What hadn’t arrived was the excitement she’d expected to experience on leaving the dust-filled town.

Matt stood in front her, his face full of warmth,
friendship and pleasure for her, and the fact she’d achieved her long-held dream. Nothing about him showed that he was in any way sad about her leaving.

Why would you expect that? He still loves Lisa. No promises, no regrets, no past and no future, remember?

But given all that, he’d thought to organise this lunch so they could celebrate now rather than waiting until the end of the day. No one had ever done anything like that for her before and she swallowed around the lump in her throat.

‘Thank you.’ She threw her arms around his neck with such enthusiasm that he staggered backwards, falling onto the bed. She lay against him and kissed him the way she knew made his head spin and his body hard.

He rolled her over. ‘Had I known you were this easy to impress, I’d have done lunch a long time ago.’ He stroked her hair. ‘Marry me.’

Her gut went into freefall and she sat up fast, not able to believe what she thought she’d just heard. ‘I beg your pardon?’

He sat up too, gently cupping her cheeks with his hands. ‘Marry me.’

He knows about the job, he told you weeks ago you’d be great at it, and he still wants to marry you. Say yes.

But the question was so unexpected that she searched his face, his eyes, even the line of his mouth for clues. Although everything seemed familiar,
nothing
was the same. A tremor of panic scuttled through her, mirroring her feelings early that morning when she’d realised she loved him. ‘Are you sure you really want to marry me?’

‘I do. I love you. I was floundering but you’ve changed everything and brought me back into the world. With you there’s light.’ His sincerity wrapped around her. ‘I want to live with you until we’re old and grey, and running around after ten grandchildren.’

Grandchildren.
The aching longing that had been part of her since their day at the gorge surged and she let her head fall onto his shoulder, feeling the security of his breadth and the protection of his arms.
I love you.
The marvel of his words wove through her, tempting her with a promise of an amazing future. ‘You see us with children?’

He kissed her hair. ‘Why sound so surprised? You’re great with kids and you’ll be a sensational mother.’

She let the dream float over her and dared herself to believe. This wonderful man loved her and wanted to be the father of her children.
This time love and marriage will be different.
Her heart expanded, bursting open the self-imposed lock she’d chained to it years ago. ‘We
will
be great parents.’

His lips touched hers with an almost reverent kiss, the touch imbued with a promise of things to come. ‘Children are amazing and they change your life. I can picture a house, a garden, a deck, a pool.
Our
home.’

She could see it too and her hand pressed against his chest, feeling the beat of his heart. ‘Somewhere by the river.’

His fingers played in her hair. ‘I think you mean the beach.’

‘No, I don’t want to live in Fremantle because it’s too far from the hospital. I suppose we could look at Cottlesloe if you think you’ll miss the sea too much, but you might be surprised—the river’s really pretty.’ Still talking, she hugged him hard, excitement finally
hitting her, bubbling through her like the bubbles of champagne. She had it all. It really was possible to have a man who loved her, a top job and in the future a family of her own.

‘I wanted to tell you in person but somehow you found out and then you did this special and amazing thing for me and—’ She stopped babbling, realising he’d gone completely still and was staring at her intently.

‘What are you talking about?’

She joke-punched him on the arm. ‘Don’t be such a tease. You know exactly what I’m talking about.’

Confusion lay heavily on his cheeks and he shook his head slowly.

‘But the celebration lunch …’ And she realised the lunch wasn’t connected with her new job at all but with his proposal. He didn’t know her news. She grinned, loving how much pleasure it gave her to be the one to tell him as she’d originally planned. ‘You’re not only looking at your fiancée, you’re also looking at Perth City’s new Chief of Surgery.’

She opened her arms, expecting congratulations and an enormous embrace, but he just stared at her, his expression both stunned and surprised.

‘You got the job?’

His words came out quietly without any acknowledgment of her massive achievement. The young Poppy who’d always strived yet failed to impress her father stirred deep inside her, sending out an aching ripple. ‘William emailed me early this morning and followed up with a phone call. The board has been really impressed by the work I’ve done, especially with the way I had the full support of the staff.’

She reached out her hand, needing to touch him, needing to see some sign from him that he was happy
for her. ‘I couldn’t have done it without your advice and support.’

Finally he smiled and hugged her tightly before kissing her gently on the cheek. ‘Congratulations, I’m so proud of you.’

She breathed again, not realising she’d stopped.

His warm and loving gaze turned serious. ‘But now we’re engaged, are you certain this is the job you want?’

Every muscle in her body clenched. ‘It’s been everything I’ve worked towards for the last ten years.’

‘Absolutely.’ He nodded, his expression sincere. ‘But things have just changed, haven’t they? It’s best if we live, work and raise our family here in Bundallagong.’

Steven’s voice rose up like a spectre from the past, taunting her with pain and bitter memories.
Poppy, we ‘re living at my place. It’s really not up for discussion.

When Annie arrived, Lisa and I moved back here.

Her heart quivered and her voice sounded overly bright. ‘So we just relocate and do it all in Perth instead.’

He frowned. ‘We move to Perth and you take the job?’

‘Of course I take the job.’ She smiled. ‘Ten years, remember? All that hard work and now this is the reward. It’s incredibly prestigious.’

He sighed, a long, low, ominous sound. ‘In Bundallagong your surgical hours are almost workable, but how on earth are you going to balance family life with being Chief of Surgery?’

You’re never home and I only asked you to do one thing—to collect my dry-cleaning and you couldn’t even manage to do that.

It made you finish work a bit earlier.

Nobody has ever loved you without wanting to change you. First your father, then Steven and now Matt.
A surge of anger obliterated her sob. She should have realised, she should have known this was all too good to be true. She should have recognised the massive signs from their conversation at Walker’s Gorge.