CARNAL, The Beast Who Loved Me (33 page)

Rosie jerked her attention from Free to Serene when she heard Serene begin quietly weeping again. She looked at the rag in the box. “How do you know?”

“We know what our son smells like.”

“Oh,” she said. “What was on the note?”

Charming looked at her. “It says that if we ever think of attacking the Rautt, he’ll be nailed to their gates so that he’ll be the first casualty. He’s their insurance policy.”

The horror of that image made Rosie feel like she had to sit down. She remembered hearing that a person would be better off dead than captured by Rautt and she knew that’s what Crave’s mother had to be thinking at that moment. Rosie knew that Serene was imagining what he’d been forced to endure for the past year since he’d been taken and was trying not to think the worst.

It took a few minutes for Rosie’s brain to begin sorting through the information, but when the synapses resumed firing, she said, “Someone in Farsuitwail is delivering messages from the Rautt?”

All Free could do was nod.

“We’ve got to find out who,” Rosie said, “then we’ve got to rescue Crave.”

“Rescue,” Free said drily. “Don’t you imagine that if there was a way to do that, we would have set it in motion long before your arrival here?”

Rosie’s mouth set into a firm line of resolution. “There’s always a way, Free.
My
father taught me that. We just haven’t thought of it yet. But when we find out who planted this message, we can start piecing together clues as to how to get him back.”

“How do you think we’re going to find out who planted the message?”

“If you have to line up every single human in Farsuitwail and have them make a statement to Carnal, one at a time, then so be it. You ask every person questions until you find out who’s in contact with Rautt and helping them with something so heinous. Are you in contact with Rautt? Did you plant a message intended for Exiled? Do you know someone who is in contact with Rautt? Do you have any information about a message being secretly delivered? Do you have any information about anyone hiding to avoid being questioned?

“It just has to be done in an organized way so that everybody over the age of seven gives a statement.”

Free turned to Charming. “You need to go tell Dandelion that her Promise is alive.”

Charming nodded, got up, and left the table without a word or a glance toward Rosie.

When he was gone, Free said to Rosie, “I know you want to be helpful. You have been helpful with other matters and I’ll take your suggestions into consideration. Right now I need to console my mate.”

Rosie could see that Free was barely holding it together. His hand had been shaking when he’d raised it to gesture. She nodded to no one in particular and quietly withdrew, wishing she could do something more for the people who had taken her in and treated her like family. But most of all, she’d been crushed by the look of utter devastation on Carnal’s face. She knew she’d never forget it as long as she lived. Crave’s capture had broken Carnal’s heart and she could do nothing to change that.

She climbed the stairs, closed the door to the room that had been Carnal’s, and stopped, hearing thunder in the distance. She hoped Carnal wouldn’t be caught in a storm on his bike. She supposed that worrying about him meant she cared about him. She also supposed that, if she was going to give him a chance with her, she needed to make it clear that running off into the night was unacceptable, no matter how provocative the reason.

After changing into a floor length linen shift, loomed by the Exiled at the Weavers’ Barn, she lay down on top of her covers using her multicolored shawl like a lightweight winter throw. The house was quiet and, she thought, filled with a sadness that was palpable. She didn’t turn the bedside lamp off. The dim light was a small comfort.

A flash of lightning drew her attention toward the window. She started counting. One. Two. Three. Before she got to four there was a deafening crack of thunder. Sheets of rain began pelting the window and, once again, she hoped Carnal was safe and dry somewhere. So long as it was not in the arms of another woman. Even if that was his choice, she wouldn’t interfere with his path by hunting him down.

She was staring at the window, watching the light show made by the storm, when a soft knock turned her head toward the door. “Yes?”

Charming opened the door a few inches and pantomimed asking to enter. She nodded and scooted over so he could sit on the bed.

She could see that his hair was damp and surmised that he’d gotten caught in the rain then changed to dry clothes.

“How did she take it?” Rosie asked.

“She tried really hard not to cry, but she was doubled over like she was in so much pain.” He shook his head and looked away. “I hated being the messenger.”

Rosie sat up and scooted back against the white French provincial headboard she’d substituted for Carnal’s roughhewn bed. “Should I go to her? Do you think it might help if I was with her?”

Charming looked a little surprised. “You close with Dandy?”

“Yeah. At least I think so. She’s the best friend I’ve ever had.”

“Hey. What about me?”

With a slight rolling of eyes, Rosie said, “The best
female
friend. How are your parents?”

“You know, the only difference between today and any other day is that today they’re letting their feelings show more. They’ve been grieving for him every hour of every day since he was taken.” He sighed deeply. “But I didn’t come to talk about Dandy or my parents. I came to talk about Carnal.”

“What about him?” When he hesitated, she prompted, “Charming.”

“I know I warned you off him, but I didn’t know you were… He’s different with you.
Really
different. I guess I just wanted to say something about the way he left tonight. Carnal and Crave were closer together in age. They were tight as leggings. Always together and, when they were, a legion wouldn’t take the two of them on.

“Carnal had a really hard time when Crave was taken. He wasn’t anywhere near where it happened. Crave was fighting in a different part of the city with his own crew. The way the Rautt raid, they try to create distractions so that those who aren’t fighting can grab stuff. They’d rather steal from humans than learn to make what they need. Or trade for it.

“For the first year, anytime Crave’s name came up, Carnal would just say, ‘I should have been there,’ and then walk out. That wasn’t right. Not at all. But he took it on himself like it was his fault that Crave… Well, he was in bad shape and we were all worried about him for a long time.

“Anyway, it’s way hard when your family has to
hope
that somebody is dead for fear of what’s happening to them if they’re alive. Getting that box, well, we don’t know how to feel. Should we be happy that he’s alive? Or horrified that he’s been living as a Rautt captive all this time? I think this just opened up a big gaping hole in Carnal’s middle. He probably doesn’t have any idea where to begin sorting out his feelings. You know what I mean?”

Rosie nodded, impressed with Charming’s insights, and grateful that he thought to share with her. “You’re a wise man wearing a kid’s body for a disguise.”

He raised an eyebrow. “Hey. This is no kid’s body.” He pointed at himself with two index fingers. “If you weren’t Carnal’s, I’d show you the
wisdom
of that.” He grinned.

She cocked her head to the side, an unconscious mannerism she’d picked up from the Exiled. “You think I’m Carnal’s?”

Charming laughed quietly. “Everybody thinks you’re Carnal’s, Rosie. Don’t be thinking anybody else will be sniffing you up. You’re his. Oddly enough, and this is the part I wasn’t expecting, I think he’s yours, too. The way he looks at you…” Charming didn’t finish, but let the partial sentence hang in the air. “Okay. I’m heading up. Can you believe this rain?” Rosie looked toward the window. “We get little showers often enough to grow things, but we don’t get torrents like this. Even the wasteland is getting wet and that’s never happened in my whole life! See you tomorrow.”

“Yep.”

He closed the door quietly.

Sometime between worrying about Carnal and listening to the rain pelt the window, she dozed off and had unsettling dreams. In her sleep she saw Carnal standing in the driving rain, soaked to the marrow, just looking up at the sky like he was defying weather to touch him. Then he was standing by her bed, calling her name.

“Rosie.” She turned her head away from the window and toward the door just as a lightning flash outlined Carnal’s form. He was wearing soft weave pants and nothing else. “Permission to touch.”

She looked at the man standing beside her bed for a few heartbeats while she shook away sleep and disturbing dreams, considering the pain evident in Carnal’s voice, all that Charming had said, and her own feelings. His posture made him look lost and, even though she couldn’t make out his features in the darkness, she knew to her bones that he was vulnerable and in anguish. That’s when she realized that Charming was right. Carnal was hers. She wasn’t sure how or when it had happened, but she didn’t care.

She moved over and opened her arms. When Carnal climbed on the bed to lie beside her, she felt his damp hair and wondered if he actually had been standing in the rain, like the vision she’d seen in her dream. When he rested his head on her breast, a feeling of completeness settled over her bringing both peace and purpose. She hadn’t known there was a vacuum waiting to be filled until she felt her heart respond to the simple, but immeasurable pleasure of being needed.

As he settled his head, and slid his heavy arm over her waist, she said, “Are you okay?”

He turned his face toward her neck. “No,” he said, but after a couple of seconds he decided to amend that. “I don’t know. It feels better with you.”

He felt her nod in response. Carnal appreciated that about Rosie. She didn’t feel like she had to fill the air with meaningless words when there was nothing to say.

They lay together in peaceful contentment, listening to the rain, experiencing the warmth and comfort of each other at rest. Carnal felt Rosie’s heartbeat where his right cheek was pressed over her heart. When his left hand skimmed down her body, he felt as well as heard her heartrate speed up. And that was more erotic to him than previous experience.

He rolled the both of them over so that she was on top, her face poised inches away from his.

“Are you mine, Carnal?”

His voice was deeper than usual, gruff and raspy, but he answered without hesitation. “I’m yours, little demon. And I always will be.”

She lowered her lips to his, already knowing the heavenly taste and feel of his mouth, eager to repeat the delicious experience of his kiss. He opened his mouth to her and matched her passion, pressure for pressure, touch for touch, until she rolled them over again, longing to feel the weight of his body stretched along the length of her.

He tugged upward on the shift, urging her to raise her hips so that he could pull it over her head. She explored his beautiful body with her hands while he tore the pants away and threw them to the floor, off to the side of the bed. When he returned to the arms held open for him, their desire was accelerated by the exquisite feel of skin on skin. She moaned. He growled without opening his mouth. It startled her temporarily until she realized it wasn’t hostile or aggressive. It was simply Carnal far more aroused than she’d seen him before.

She pulled her legs up his body, resting her calves on his hips. At the same time she reached between them, took his cock in hand, and began to stroke. Carnal closed his eyes for a moment as he growled softly and rocked into her hand. He ran his tongue slowly over her nipples, fangs skimming lightly over her breasts, not hard enough to prick or sting, just hard enough to send a jolt of desire to her core.

She didn’t know if Carnal was making love to her more to distract him from his grief over Crave or because of desire for her. What was important was that Rosie knew instinctively that she was what he needed most in the world at that moment. She also knew that he was sharing far more than just his body.

He brought his mouth back to hers and kissed her deeply while his hand moved to caress her sex. When she moaned, he broke the kiss, gave a soft snarl, and nipped at her neck.

“Wet,” he said. “Wet for me. You want me, little demon.”

Nodding emphatically, she said, “Right now.”